Musical Monday 23 - Secret Smile

People hate one of my habits. And that habit is playing a song - the same song - over and over. If I like a song, I can listen to it lots. Usually, it just sort of blends into background music for me, but everyone else is acutely aware of it playing over and over. And, indeed, over again.

However, even Dan has his limits.

Back when I was "employed" by a certain Phone/TV/Internet provider hereabouts, I was disliked by the management. I didn't socialise with the workforce, I was usually in trouble for taking too long on calls, or abusing the email system. Random mails sent to "All Employees, Essex" usually went down like a boat bumping into an Iceberg. It didn't matter that I worked 10-12 hour shifts, that I did stupid amounts of over time, that I walked to and from work most days (a journey of an hour or more each way!), or that my crews usually finished and had their equipment activated without problem. I was a bad seed in the office.

In order to keep me under control, I was seated directly under the managers floor, directly behind the team leader and in a typical display of behaviour that showed how much I was hated, I had the table directly beside the door to the toilets, and had the office TV above my head. When someone had eaten something spicy, I knew it. When someone was poorly, I knew it. When someone was taking a book into the loo, or having a crafty smoke, or hiding in there for an hour or more, I knew it.

Yes folks, I sat in a permanent cloud of wee and poo.

And the TV over my head was to provide entertainment for 50 people in an open plan office, so it was loud. "Bloody hell Dan -" the Irish installers would say "- are ya still sitting under that fookin' telly?!" It was a running joke with the people that called in to talk to me, working outside, or working elsewhere in the building. People in other departments would call through to say Hi to me, and have a quiet minute to listen to whatever was on.

Usually, the TV was showing MTV, but at weekends, it was tuned to Sky Sports for the football. MTV, 10-12 hours a day, five, six, seven days a week... I knew their play list inside out. And when the football was on, people from all over the office, or other nearby departments (where they were too professional to have TVs blaring) would come out and stand in a small crowd behind me, talking about the players, the teams, having a laugh.

While I was working. Under the TV, in my little cloud of wee and poo.

No wonder I broke down ;)

Anyway, this song was a great song. I loved this song when it came out. Semisonic - Secret Smile was a cheery sort of song about a special person in someones life. I'd heard it on MTV, on the radio at home (when I wasn't sleeping), and generally around. Then MTV realised it was a good song. This song, three times an hour, all day, every day...

It haunted me, and now, when I hear it or think about it or have it mentioned, I shudder, think of my little corner desk by the bogs, can smell the urinal cakes and air freshner trying to mask the smell of his 11am dump, think of trying to talk to crews with it blaring over my head, knowing that the management were probably monitoring my calls and trying to think of a reason to sack me.


So... much... bodily waste... Loud music... Turn down the music - no, not football... *rocks in the corner, dribbles on his chin*

Edit: *cries* how strange, I do this song and this post, and find that Christine has done another one of the songs that was played over my head constantly. Her musical monday song is another one! *plots murder*

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3 Responses to “Musical Monday 23 - Secret Smile”

Shiny Demon said...

Ah, Secret Smile eh? There can't be many other performers who got away with singing a song about their bird's, erm, Jack & Danny.

The Random One said...

Murder! It isn't my fault you were in a constant cloud of bodily functions while being forced to listen to a reptitive MTV playlist! Hmph!


Anonymous said...


errrrrrr correct me if I am wrong... :-) as hysterically, almmost perfectly correct as your post.... is I feel I must point out some parts were factually incorrect ;-)

1.I was a manager, your joint manager and I never got to sit upstairs... I too had to sit by the pissy toilets lol so you werent alone!! :-)
Aside from that day I tried to score a 10 by coming down the stairs without using them...

2.I used to call monitor you too... not to find ways to sack you.... (which was pretty good since I seem to remembering being the one to help get you the job he he ) nooooo more so I used to ear wig your calls for random humour reasons in an otherwise boring heap of manure lol. ( read, flirtasious offers of carnal activity as opposed to "yes my set top box is working, thanks darlin")
3. I used to give you a lift to work when I could.... (read when the red car didnt require pushing, shoving, or ther services of the AA) I STILL laugh about how we abandoned it in the snow on what we thought was the pavement, only to discover the next day was half way across the blind peoples bumpy crossing!! ;-)
4. This song doesnt remind me of that as much as it remindsme of Rob Claxton and Claire's knowlingly loving glances across the office...
5. I soooooo much prefered our C.S days whiling away the time in Bianca's smut shack whilst you pretended to be wearing stripy sexy satin underwear lol lol ol
6. I know it asks for a name lol but if you need it you really are getting old ;-)