Big Fat Congrats

I don't care if you don't read her blog.  I don't care if you have no idea who I am talking about, but none the less...

Laney, over at My Crazy Family, has just announced the fact she's been knocked up.  AGAIN.  This baby will be Child #4 at her house.

So all of you, waddle on over to her blog and send her your congrats.  Because once she starts getting massive, I will be heckling her in person and taking the piss out of her waddle.  I'm nice like that, really.

Congrats Laney and Mr Laney.  Hope you have a nice boring pregnancy.  With twins.  Twins are cool.  Big fat twins.

With big heads.

Peanut

Yesterday Tam had a blast. Gifts, cake, friends, cards... While I don't think she completely "got" it, she knew she was three. And showed everyone her fingers too.

We spent a while here opening everything and trashing the place, had lunch, built her bike, went out for a couple of hours... It was manic.

And she not only loved her bike to bits, but she picked it up really quickly...

Apologies for the crappy video quality.







Hopefully these videos work for everyone and not just me ;)

Happy Birthday Peanut

21st March. I can't believe how time has flown. Today is Tamsyns 3rd birthday. Of course, it goes without saying that today is another date that reminds me how long Bethy has been gone. Tam is 3, Bethy has been gone three years one month.

But that isn't what today is about.

I can't believe she is three. It doesn't seem that long ago she was this little squidgy thing that needed protecting from everything around her, and today, well, she still needs protecting, but she'll give it hell...

She's growing fast, and she is a complete little smart arse, but refuses to talk. I'm hoping that it's just her being lazy though, as she seems to have her own language. She uses lots of words, and every now and then comes out with something new that she refuses to repeat until she decides to do it again.

She is a complete Aries, strong willed, stubbon, has awful mood swings... That screaming child in the supermarket? That's my daughter.

But, even though she is a complete mummys girl, she is becoming more and more of a Daddys Little Princess. It's tough being wrapped around another little finger, but I can handle it. She gives the nicest cuddles, and when she's in a good mood, will do almost anything you ask, from cleaning up to running stuff up and down the stairs.

Tamsyn, my little Peanut,
I can't believe how beautiful you are. Clearly, you've not gained that from me, and that's a bless. You are a beautiful little girl, even if you are a monster some days.

Some days I wish you could chatter away with me and I wouldn't have to concentrate on your words. You have so much going on in your head, and I'd love for you to share it, for us to understand what point it is you are trying to get across.

Yes, I wish you weren't quite as much of a monkey as you can be, and while the wall art throughout the house will always remind me of you, I think the walls would look better without thick blue marker or similar designs.

You are going to be such a smart little girl, and I wish so much that you grow to be as happy as you are now, to enjoy life and to know all the best things that are out there - love, happiness, peace, fun, and to experience everything the world has to offer.

I love you so much, and know mummy loves you as much as me. Jaysen might get moody with you when you push his playstation off the shelf, but he loves you lots too. I know Bethy is out there too somewhere, suggesting things to you that drives you on to do or say the strangest things. I know she's told you how horrible my stubble is, but I'll keep it trimmed and shaved, I promise.

I love watching you grow, love seeing your eyes light up at something new.

I know our family is a strange one, but you will get used to it. Mummy and Daddy are still friends, and even though we don't live together, we both love you very much.

Happy birthday, my gorgeous little Peanut.

All our love,
Daddy and Mummy

And, as usual, here are photos of the little monkey through the last few years, in no real order. The last one, however, was taken yesterday.

Click any of them to embiggen them!

To A Special Angel

Today is a very special day in our lives. This time seven years ago, people all around the world were welcoming the birth of our new baby girl. For three months, people we'd never met were supporting us because of phrases we'd never heard affected our unborn baby. Over those three months, people offered help, support, answered my inane question, and even shared a laugh. A new mailing list was formed her in England to support everyone else that went through the same thing.

Friendships formed and grew. All because of on unborn baby.

When she was born, we expected the worst, and the team at the hospital were ready but cautiously optimistic. And we cuddled and hugged this little bundle we called Bethany. For a month, she was in hospital taking everything, and then on the 21st February 2001, she was sent home.

And slowly but surely, she grew. She went from a little baby to a slightly bigger baby - as babies are wont to do. Over the weeks and months, she endured tests, checkups, scans, xrays - but she always smiled at the people around her, always had a hug or a kiss for a nurse. We raised her as best we could, and she never had a bad word for anyone.

Her first surgery, on her older brothers birthday no less, was a great success, and she was home before Christmas. It wasn't long after that she started walking and developing even faster. She loved life.

No, she loved everything. Several people often said she was a new soul, experiencing everything for the first time, filled only with good.

Again, time passed as she grew, she loved playschool, she loved her friends - she wanted to marry Ethan, and have two children, Polly and Samual. She would play and laugh, only to stop to catch her breath and have a rest.

Just after her 4th birthday, we got the letter. They wanted to operate on her as soon as possible. She knew what was happening - we always told her - and she was so excited. She was getting her heart fixed, and would be able to run more and play more and dance. Always to dance.

But, her body couldn't cope with the surgery, and four weeks after they did it, at 12.21pm on February 21st 2005, she left the hospital once again, but not with us.

People say that time is a great healer. It's not; it get's different but never better.

I dream about Bethy some nights, and I swear it is her, coming down to see me. We always sit in the same place, and she cuddles me in the way she always cuddled me, and we talk. She tells me what she is doing, that she is having such a good time, and that she is dancing. And we sit and we cuddle until I wake up.

My gorgeous little Bethy,

Happy birthday darling. I can't believe it's your seventh birthday, and I am just sorry that you can't be here to have lots of presents and cake. I am sure you are having lots of fun with all the other little Angels up there, running and dancing without running out of breath. I'm sure you enjoy giving all the grandparents lots of cuddles when you do decide to stop!

We all miss you down here so much, but now you're not in pain, now there are no more needles or checkups or anything else, I am sure you love it up there.

I normally feel like I have to apologise to you; for not doing more, for not pushing the doctors for other options before the surgery, for not seeing the problems after and especially for not visiting your garden more. But I won't apologise this time because I know there is nothing I could have done.

But I kept the beard off gorgeous, just like you asked!

I'm sure you've had words with your little sister too - she hates the stubble on my chin and makes yucky noises when she touches it. She draws on the walls in the same places you did, and she claims that Bast is her cat, just like you did. She loves to dance - I'm sure you've taught her your moves.

I hope you are having fun baby, I really do. I wish I could give you a huge cuddle, but I know I can't, not yet.

Keep shaking your ass for me. Everyone here still thinks of you and that song.

I see you baby,

Daddy
x

Jo has also posted on her blog, Here

Cake

Happy Birthday Little Man!

Time Flies. Apparently, and especially, when you're having fun. A little while ago, I sat as my first child, a son, was born. We had already decided to name him Jaysen. I remember the fun of the birth; Jo being induced, the monitors, the nurses, the constant won't be long now from the consultants. I remember them deciding baby needed to be delivered NOW in the middle of the night, thanks to them waiting and waiting and waiting.

The baby was getting distressed. Whip him out, get him out, before things go pearshaped. I remember Jo, high as a kite, singing along to imaginary songs on the imaginary radio. I remember them bursting her waters, and the torrent that hit the nurse square in the chest. I remember them making her walk to the theatres with me lugging the cannister of Gas & Air as we walked down three flights of stairs.

No porters, no insurance for the nurses to rush us down there, lift too far away. Makes sense, apparently...

I remember them getting Jo ready for the caesarian, the doctors, consultants, the sort that had gone from being called "Doctor" to "Mr". Monitors showing heart rates, pressures, resps... It was all very intimidating.

I remember the slopping sounds from the other side of the sheet as they cut into Jo, and vividly remember the pool of blood and goo forming around my scrub-shoes as I sat next to Jo, trying to ignore the small stream of ick flowing down onto the ground.

I remember his cry as he wanted to get back inside. It was chilly. Then nurses checking him, counting digits, checking weights and measures, then the little wrinkled thing handed to me. Mine, my son.

And then without warning, he turns nine years old.

Nine years of him growing, developing, learning. I hope we've done the right thing by him, teaching him right from wrong, manners, and will grow to be a good person.

Jaysen, I love you so much little man. I hope you continue to grow and impress everyone with how much you know, and that your capacity for knowledge grows with you.

Here are some random pictures, in a random order. Click any to embiggen.

The Little Man, this morning at 7am with his small stack of (mostly geeky) presents!

Jaysen the toddler, threatening to run up the stairs.

One of his attractive "faces", squished against a view-hole in a travel cot.

My Blue-Eyed Boy.

His "Evil Boy" Impression

Happy. What more could I ask.

Hells Angel ;)

My son posing in a Belgian Forest.

And again with Belgium, this time a Belgian Lake, while daddy feeds the Belgian Ducks.

This last image is a screenshot from WoW. We all play Warcraft in this house, and Jaysen is constantly surprising our guildmembers when they find out he is only eight years old. A few members don't even believe us when we tell him. This image is a message I received from our Guild Leader after he spent a couple of hours running around with Jaysen in Outlands...


Bear in mind, the guild is all adult members, some of which have kids themselves.

Happy Birthday Jaysen, my little man.

Oops

So, after my post yesterday, I am texting Jo, wishing her happy birthday, giving her love and pity this is her last year as a 20-something, when she calls me on her mobile. "I AM NOT 29!" she exclaims at me. Me, however, being the slightly-more-than-stubbon-than-most butthead that I am refuse to believe her.

So for quarter of an hour, I juggle numbers around, she has all her friends there shouting out mathematical solutions to the fact she was 28 yesterday, not 29. Here at Chez 0ddness, I should write an apology and retract my statement.

But it's too funny.

Especially when you consider on various forms and paperwork I've filled out in the last year, I've put her down as 28. tee-hee

Happy Birthday Baby

Today is Jo's 29th birthday! Happy Birthday my love!

Of course, I can't actually tell her in person, as she is currently somewhere in the wilds of England battering the pants off people with swords, maces, axes, tree branches, table legs, and whatever else happens to be to hand. Yep folks, she's away for her birthday. Tam is at her nans, so it's me, Jaysen, MSN and WoW all weekend baby! Well, it's mostly Spring Cleaning, Laundry and entertaining the animals, but still...

Today is also the day we were engaged maaaaany moons ago, on her 18th birthday. One Knee, Ring, people around going Awww. I miss my love.

Anyway, I have it on good authority that her chums along side her in the afore-mentioned wilds are keeping her well entertained. Being that it's the Easter Holidays over here (ie, no school for two weeks) and that it's a long weekend here in England (Friday and Monday are both Bank Holidays, which means no work for anyone except, well, a lot of people, but still) the game she's at is a long one - Thursday till Monday. However, because a couple of friends drive a HUGE distance out of their way just to get her, they grabbed her a day earlier, and she'll be home a day later - Wednesday of last week, till this coming Tuesday.

So, Tuesday afternoon she comes home, not doubt knackered and exhausted, chills out Wednesday and then - THEN - Thursday she's off again! Zombie Bloodfest, a game she originally created is kicking off the following weekend!

Ahhh the crazy life of a bachelor and/or single parent! hehehe

Happy birthday Jo. I hope you have a great day, and I miss you loads.

Happy Birthday My Sweet Angel

Today - January 15th - Bethany would have been six years old. She's be in school, be talking, be running around, be doing homework, but most importantly, she'd still be loving life.

This time six years ago - just after 9.30am - Bethy had been born by csection, and we were sitting in the theatre at guys admiring the little moo before Jo was whisked off one way, and Bethy was whisked off the other. In her first five days, the diagnosed her heart issue, added to her heart issue, discovered cancer, discovered the malrotation, and suffered a series of strokes. At two weeks of age, she had surgery on her stomach to untwist it, and to remove the cancer from her adrenal gland. Despite all these problems, she came home after five weeks. The date of her discharge is also one that haunts me. February 21st. The same day she left us.

While she never really grew and was always a tiddler, she was full of love and energy for anyone around. She would cuddle anyone, smile to anyone, and never let anything get in her way. Even when puffed and out of breath, she still had time to smile. The following December aged eleven month - and on Jaysens 3rd birthday she had her first surgery, which gave her something else to show off - her special zipper.

Then, aside from constant appointments with cardiologists, neurologists, oncologists, dieticians and any other specialist that wanted a look, she grew and developed and learned to walk and crawl and generally get on with things, and never ever did she let anything get in her way. Not once did she complain about her meds, having blood taken, sitting still for a scan or anything.

Just before her 4th birthday, we received news that she needed surgery, and at the end of January, just after her birthday we were given two days notice for her operation. Four weeks after her surgery, it was too much, and we had to make that decision...

My love for Bethany has never lessened, diminished or changed, even with her gone. I miss the sound of her laughing, and saying "Meeese!" instead of please, the smile she would give me when I entered the room, and the sheer amount of love that came from her, unconditional and without price. I miss every single thing about my beautiful little girl, and feel sorry for those that never got to meet her, and never got to feel her love radiating upon them.

We miss you, our beautiful little angel. I still see you shaking your ass, every day that we're apart.

Bethy, I love you loads,

-Daddy

The site hosting Bethys magazine article seems to be down at the moment. If you want to read it, you can view it here

And for those that wonder why I always say something like "I See You Baby..." this is the song Bethy used to sing and dance to...


I see you baby.... Every single day...

Some Pictures

For those that wanted them, here are some pictures! Click the image to open a larger version :)

Jaysen and Amy

The Birthday Boy Himself

The Cake I made

Tam, who somehow managed to stay clean!

It is worth noting, at this point, that Jaysen and Tam have Devil Red Eyes, while Amy does not... Hmmmm...

And In Other News

Yes, that is Jo's back, yes, it's a tattoo, no, it's not finished and needs more work and olouring, and yes, it most certainly hurt her. Karma's a bitch ;)

My Little Man

Yes, I am playing catchup. Cue the flurry of posting activity!

Monday saw Jaysen hit eight years old. Seriously, where the heck does the time go? It doesn't seem that long ago that me, him and Jo lived in our little flat, and the little monster wouldn't sleep, so Baby Jay and Daddy spent many a night on the sofa, dozing quietly so mummy could catch some Z's.

I can say with 100% honesty that I am proud at how good a kid he is turning out to be, unlike others in his school. He is kind, friendly and helpful, and has a good outlook on life - despite the things he's been through over the last few years. I can't ask for any more than that. He is loved by the family, and well liked by his friends. Don't get me wrong - he can be an infuriating little wotsit, or appear to be as smart as a boiled ant, but I dare any parent to tell me their child does NO wrong!

So, to Jaysen, my little man. I hope you continue to grow and develop as the perfect little boy. We both love you lots, you little klutz you.

(And I will be posting photos a little later!)

Organisation

Without harping on too much, yesterday was a long, hard and stressful day - not through anything really bad or particularly interesting, but I got moody because of it. It was Jo's nans 90-something birthday. 93, I think it was. The day before, a spur-of-the-moment meal out was arranged, which prompted a pickup from school just in case we were late. However, everyone was doing their own thing yesterday, and the "pick up for meal at 1pm" became "pick up when we get to you, then going to nans, then going out..." which drives me nutty.

Luckily, Cel didn't mind having Jaysen, but we didn't even get out meal till gone 3pm. It was just one thing after another, and Jo cheered me up last night (get your mind out of there!) with a toffee liqueur hot chocolate. It's the simple things.

Of course, Tam was the star of the day as usual, and to keep her quiet she had some stuff to do at the dinner table otherwise she gets bored and goes to greet the strangers all around her. Jo gave her a Tweenies comic, and she was very interested in it...

And there she sat for a while, flipping through the pages, looking at the giant puppet things in great detail!

Of course, once we got home, everyone was tired, we'd eaten a big dinner, the house was warm, and Jo popped out, Tam stole her chair. It didn't take long, but after a long day being cute, she flaked out in the most uncomfortable looking position...

She is sound asleep there, and stayed like it for almost an hour before mummy banged into the house and woke her up!

Last night me and Jo chilled out by playing computer games - neither of us played Warcraft, which was strange - and we both played different games, which was equally strange!

Bed time, Tam was refreshed, so a bit of "Monster chasing her around" was in order. If I wasn't tired before, that exhausted me, but the squeals and giggles of mock fear were worth it! She actually fell asleep cuddling me in my bed last night which never happens. I didn't have the heart to put her into her bed, and aside from a fight outside at midnight, the house was quiet through till 6am, when I decided enough was enough and got up.

Yes, I had a shitty night again! hehehe

HB2me

So. Wow. 30 today eh. Go me :)

Being a rather difficult child, it is something to see that I made it this far. I was not the most "stable" of children, and while I wasn't the most mentally stable of kids, I am talking physically. The ability to walk without falling, to climb without falling, to run without falling. OK, yes, granted - a lot of the time I would be running across the top of a wall, or walking over a stream on a log, or climbing up a stupidly high tree, but none the less, I had an aversion to gravity. And sharp pointy things.

It seemed to love me, where ever I went, pulling at me with more force than anyone else. I could be on the smoothest of playgrounds and go crashing to the ground. And I never just bumped to the ground. I'd *crash* down, either breaking something, slashing something open, or ending up with a concussion.

Bikes, Swings, Climbing Frames, Electricity, Physically-Non-Moving Objects, Wild Animals - you can bet I'd be there. And then there was the hazards - broken glass, brambles, nettles, trees, walls - I either went into them, over them, through them, or they ended up through me. I keep debating on getting my hospital file, just to see everything I went though, just to tally up the broken bones, the number of stitches, the cases of concussion, the hospital stays.

I look down at myself and see all the scars, or when I am feeling my head I can feel the scars and lumps, and the various breaks that have long-since healed. I can place almost all of them, from the sharpened butter knife, the cannon, the bike-with-no-brakes, the fence impalement, the milk bottle, the zip line, the scramble net, the brick wall, the rusty iron hook, the dirty pizza knife, the blow torch on epoxy resin...

Just for laughs.

And then there is the fun stuff. Downing a bottle of medicine, hanging on the window from a second story building, deciding to go "exploring" then spending six hours lost in a strange forest miles from home, and I'm not even going to mention the Loo-Bloo-Plus-Sister Incident. She still cringes when she sees the stuff.

And now today, I made it to 30. Older, yes. Wiser, probably. But then, I still have accidents. Granted, they are fewer and further between, but between electrocution, blades, solid objects and everything else, I'm not much different than I was as a kid. Except NOW I do something stupid and can look back and think "Yeah Dan, you're a dick." instead of the eight-year-old Dan "I didn't do anything" or "I don't know how it happened".

And then I look at the kids. Jaysen is a klutz of a similar kind, and while he's not been quite as fun as I was, he's had his fair share. That boy can trip over his shadow. Bethy was always in and out of hospitals, a stay here, a checkup there, so I know how mum felt on that level. And then there's Tam... Thankfully it's too soon to decide where her path lies - I think she's developed Gemmas moodiness.

People look back when something happens - an event, an anniversary, arriving at a new place - and using hindsight can tell what-caused-what to happen. Defining Moments, some people call them. My life was filled with them, from bullying to abuse, coming from a broken home to getting my first place, the joy of having a child to the pure pain of losing one. But what made me who I am today? I abhor bullying of any kind. I hate liars. I can sympathise with people in pain. I understand the concept of pure grief. I know what it is to love, to lose love, and to BE in love. And of course, I like to laugh. I LOVE to laugh. If you can't laugh eventually, then what's the point?

It's what you do, and who you know, that defines you.

So to the people that were around me as I was growing - mum, dad, step dad, step mum, sister, friends, relatives - thanks. I made it, you can have a gold star.

To my parents. You both made me who I am today. For one, you didn't strangle me. Two, you kept me alive, and Three, you taught me well. Don't ever regret not doing something, or doing something wrong. I love who I am.

To my sister, Gemma. I'm sorry. I never meant to be so mean, and I hope you don't hate me for the things I did to you. I'll always be your big brother, and you can ask for anything. You might not get it, but you can ask ;)

To my friends past and present - thanks for being there. If it was playing on your computer at a weekend, or hanging at your house while the kids are at school, or those of you that I've never physically met - thanks to you too. You've made me who I am today.

My kids - all three of you - you've made me proud. I love you like I've never loved anything, and you've made me who I am today. With one of you playing elsewhere, I know how big a part of my life you are and always will be. Play, laugh, smile and love who you are becoming. Carry on Shakin Your Ass where ever you are.

And to Jo. Thank you. With all my heart, I love you. Here's to the rest of our lifetime together.

Now then, where's the beer? And the gifts. Beer and Gifts. Gimmie. It might be 6am, but I like to celebrate in style.

-Dan