On The Meds

OK I'm kidding... mostly. See, while I am off my Happy Fun Pills, I am NOT off my "For-The-Love-Of-All-Things-Holy-OWIE!" pain killers. Unlike sadness and depression, chronic pain and missing-bits-of-spine don't go away.

Which is a shame, but still.

See, in my garden, I have a plant I've mentioned before. I'm not going into the SATAN of all plants, but if you're bored, have a google for Japanese Knotweed. I have that. Lots and lots of that.

I had to contact DEFRA (Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) about the plant after being bounced from council, environment agencies, departments for this, that and the other. DEFRA are a nice group - they are the ones that deal with the nice stuff, Foot & Mouth, Bluetongue, Avian Flu... All the good stuff.

Oh, and now, Knotweed.

I had to leave the garden while they investigated and looked into it as it's a bitch. Once you have it, you have it. Anyway, a nice lady called me this morning and said as long as I don't dump it, shred it, landfill it or anything else, I can rip that fecker up. Of course, to get to it, we had to get the tribe of pygmys to allow us to hack through the grass jungle. So me and the boy hacked, and mowed, and strimmed, and piled... Took us three hours, but we found various things, most importantly, the gravel and the lawn:


OK, to put this in perspective - the shed at the end of my garden was all but hidden. The metal washing-line-pole was missing. Of course, it's not tidy by a long shot yet. There's actually a PATH on my lawn but it's well grown over. And no, I still don't have a fence. And yes, the rear-neighbours do have a pool. And yes, the house on the right has a lovely garden. If you look carefully, that pile of GREEN next to my shed - that's the stack of knotweed that was covering the lower half of the garden.

And to give you an idea of this weed... See the fence panel on the left of my garden? See the green plant growing next to it? THAT, my friends, is knotweed. Mine wasn't quite that tall, but still - that is 5 weeks of growth. That's a seven-foot tall fence panel. Still not impressed? Go right, to the paved garden, and go to the end of their garden where it backs onto the people behind... See the green behind their shed and their neighbour? Yeah, that's it too. That's how far it's spread. It's two or three doors to the left and right, and one garden back.

Here is a detailed artist impression of what my garden looked like before we used MANLY skills on it.


Actually, I am quite impressed by the depth in that image. My art skills are clearly improving. But that pretty much summed up my garden. Sally could go out there and vanish in the grass. I had to wear my big clumpy boots incase I found a snake out there. *shudder*

But anyway, to the subject at hand. I am now sitting with fluffy-leg sensation, and am listening to very loud music and waiting for the Mother F'king pain to jump on the bus and get outta Dan Town. Head Meds - gone. Back Meds - My Friends.

The Next Stage

After what feels like an eternity, Jo called yesterday and told me that finally, she had managed to get a house. This has been through no fault of her own, but it was pretty much the last big step that needed sorting.

She sorted out the paperwork yesterday, and can move in "any time from Monday" which is excellent. Excellent for Jo - she can sort herself out and get out of her parents. Excellent for the Kids - they can stay with her now in her own home, without that worry of breaking grandparents possessions. Excellent for Me because I can start clearing through each room and getting "her" stuff and "my" stuff sorted out.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problem with "her" stuff being here, but I can't really rip each room out without figuring who's is who's. The hardest part will be the seperating of stuff - over the years, WE bought stuff, or stuff for one another. Of course, there are things that are obviously the others, but we'll just sit and work through it.

As we do ;)

It's not a massive panic either - one room at a time, nice leisurely going through cupboards, draws, units and what-have-you. Once she has taken her stuff from a room, I can be harsh and bin what I don't need/want, and job done - one room cleared. Rinse and repeat throughout the house, and hopefully it'll be done in time. Again, no rush, but will be nice to have less stuff in the house.

Less Stuff = Less Mess = Less Housework - and that's all kinds of good.

Before anyone starts jumping on the "Don't dump perfectly good stuff!" anything decent left over will be either given away, sold, or handed to those in need. The various items of "clutter" we have collected will probably get sent to the great Landfill in the Sky.

Once that is all sorted, then I can prepare each room for decoration. And then, by about Xmas time, the stupid-ass government departments sorting my money out will realise they are pissing me off and pay me so I can actually afford to buy decorating stuff. I also need to look into Laptop Repairs or, if that will be too expensive, a new laptop. SO angry that my nice one blew - thanks to Matt and Sam on Twitter, I'm going to check around see if it's a common problem with that brand, but I'm not holding my breath. I also - foooooolishly - don't have the receipt for it, so not sure if I call the makers if they will cover it under the warrenty. I miss my laptop. Pretty sure it is the internal power supply, but unlike a proper computer, I have no idea how, if at all, you repair/replace one. All suggestions and similar gratefully appreciated - I can't listen to music downstairs, I can't piss around online in bed, I can't sit on the balcony and blog, and the camera is now isolated to the lounge window. I can't even MSN or play WoW sitting on the toilet...

*cries*

Still, aside from that, things are still rosey - if a little painful physically from being so busy of late - but I'll get over it. Finally got a repeat prescription so I can continue self-weaning myself off the Paroxetine/Paxil under my own steam, so all is good really.

But I still miss my laptop.

Dirty Chav Scum

There are few things in this town that I disdain more than your average Run-of-the-Mill Chav Scumbag. For the Uninformed/Americans (oooh low blow!) a Chav is, well, read this. And this. And this.

So, now you are educated. There are plenty of Anti-Chav sites out there if you want to know more, or if you are based in the UK, then there is always ChavTowns for more information. The Basildon write up is very interesting as, it has to be said, we do have a very large population.

Now, I might bandy around the term to my friends and people I am on a wind up with, but only as a joke. The fact is, they are icky people and I hate them, especially the Basildon Variety.

And my reasoning for this post? Well, I just had a knock at the door at half seven this evening, and there is Mr Policeman. Not a toy policeman, a real, bonafide policeman.

Complete with Stab Vest. I didn't blame him, not in this area.

Turns out the people opposite - you know the ones, in the Blood Red House of Death. Well, turns out his car was damaged and broken into this afternoon. At 3pm this afternoon, in broad daylight. The worst part of it is, everyone probably knows it was their next door neighbour and his mates that come around, but who is going to say that? On their doorstop. To the police.

In the last year, he's had paint thrown over his car, his garage door graffiti'd, rubbish dumped on and around his house, and gets abuse hurled at him fairly often. All from the same sources.

And that seems to be how it is of late. You act shitty and threaten everyone, and everyone just closes their doors and curtains and ignores the world outside. All because of the asshats in their burbury (or however you spell it) strolling around like they own the place.

I feel quite bad because I sit on an upstairs window, looking out to the BRHoD when I am at my computer. And I didn't actually see anything - I think I was actually downstairs with Tam clearing up the kitchen before the Boy came home from school. Had the DanCam been on it would have seen it all.

We all live together, next to, on top of, opposite everyone in our area, but none of us ever see anything, and even if we do, we daren't say anything. I told the policeman the guy living in the BRHoD gets a lot of shit from certain elements, but he didn't really want to know. Just wanted to know if I saw anything.

He was really unhappy when Sally (white) said Hi and brushed against his trousers (black).

At least he had his stab vest on.

Lounging

Me and the Wee One had an early night last night. She fell asleep on me at around 6pm despite my best efforts to keep her awake. She was comfortable, snuggled, and the white noise of the hair dryer put her to sleep.

I got her onto the sofa and left the hair dryer running to keep her settled while I poodled around on Facebook and the internet, winning at Scrabble (a lot!) and trading in the lives of people in Human Pets and Owned.

Nothing more relaxing than buying pets from strangers in the world.

At around 9pm, Tam started to wake up. Not good. If she woke up properly, she would stay that way till, say, all night.

No, not good.

So I rushed around doing the night-time stuff; threw the dog out, dragged the cats in, sorted the washing machine and tumbler, locked doors and windows, dragged the dog back in, de-caked her muddy paws, fed the critters, grabbed two drinks, turned off lights, ran upstairs, put drinks down, had a wee, ran back downstairs to check the doors and windows were locked, also checked the smoke alarms, ran back upstairs...

And she was snoring on the sofa.

Well, I figured I'd get her into bed anyway, but she woke up as I tried to get her into her bed and did the clinging-on-the-neck thing, so I put her in bed with me.

I am such a soft touch.

She dozed and wanted to watched the laptop, so I put on old faithful, Samurai Jack. It engrosses her, I can't understand it. I mean, it very well made, but she just watches it quietly.

Stil, she started to doze and I started to doze and we were both asleep before 1030pm that night.

Of course, half six she woke up this morning, but laid with me cuddling till half seven when she decided that was enough of that, and we got up, got breakfast, got washed and dressed and, well... Aside from a few meal breaks, visitors, drinks and toilet breaks, we've done nothing today.

And Samurai Jack is still on!

We've sat and done some reading, we've played with some cars (she's such a tomboy), and we've done our own things as well. But generally, neither of us have had a pressing need to do anything.

Of course, breakfast was fine, as was a mid-morning snack, lunch and various drinks during the day, but the bad daddy award was presented to me at 7pm when i realised I'd forgotten to do dinner. Oops.

She's forgiven me, and I will attempt putting her to bed in about half an hour or so. Well, in theory. Chances are she will mosh around till my bed time, or thereabouts.

It's strange not having anything to do, and Tam is being a good little Peanut for me, so it's all good. I feel like I SHOULD be doing more around the house, but for today, I am doing nothing.

Focus

Jo was over yesterday. We sat talking for an hour or so, again apologising to one another, a few weepy moments (me, as usual), but otherwise just talking. We moved on to the bills and stuff we owe money to, sorted them into current bills, debts, who's is who's and such like.

After going through the paperwork, we're not as in debt as we first imagined, and I think the perceived debt was worse than the actual debt - which is now split in half. With the gas, electricity and water, where we'd run up large bills, Jo is going to help me out with them as well. She called the companies that were in joint-names and had one or the other name removed and arranged final bills/new accounts and such like, so that's another hurdle dealt with.

After all that was dealt with, she sat in the kitchen with me while I cooked lunch for us, and we all sat and ate together, just chatting. Jo's not been eating either, so even though we only had a little bit, we sat and ate.

Jaysen went back off with Jo last night, and Tam stayed here with me. After Jo left and Tam "helped" clear up, we went to the park for an hour or so. It was cold and windy, but we had fun - she was climbing and swinging around, and I was occupied with her.

When we got in, she helped with some laundry, I made her a cold dinner and as with every silver lining, I found the cloud. All because of corned beef. I had to ask Jo is Tam liked it - no big deal, but then started feeling like a complete arse. I should know what she likes, what she eats and suchlike.

I text Jo with my usual depressed rambling and she called, and we spent an hour on the phone, her reassuring me that I'm a good father, a good person and such like. I had this fear - right in the pit of my stomach - that everyone around is watching me, just waiting for me to fall apart, to fail and have everyone nod, lean back and utter those fateful words... "Told you so"

After chatting with Jo, I felt much better. Again. So set around sorting Tam out for bed. Half seven I tried her in her own bed, but that was just NOT happening. So I tried her in my bed. Sat with her, read her a story, tucked her in, gave her her teddy... Ten minutes later she was running, bouncing and being a monkey. Tried on the sofa with the TV off, but again, no chance.

Just before nine *I* went to bed and took her with me. Plan was to sit with her with a cartoon on, get her to sleep, then go on MSN, Blog, Email... She made it through one-and-a-bit episodes of Samurai Jack before flaking out, snuggled against me. I thought "I'll just watch the end of this episode" and the next thing I knew... 3am, screen saver running on the laptop on my legs, Tam curled against me, Sally laying by my feet, Dipstick in a ball beside me.

I managed to move the computer before nodding off again, and then it was seven in the morning. I slept. Without painkillers.

Sadness is exhausting.

But anyway, we got up this morning, watched some TV, sorted out some little jobs, bathed Tam, I had a shower, fed and now, here we are. Again, I am focused and looking forwards, and while I don't doubt I will have my shit times, I'm thinking better now.

Of all things, I've been thinking of the decorating; paints, papers, curtains, even pictures and suchlike. Obviously it's going to be a long-term work in progress, but small steps...

Home

You will have to bear with me on this, because it is likely to be a rambling post. I went to bed with Jaysen last night around 8pm. I was so tired, and ready to drop. I sat up just relaxing as best I could after a long stressful day, when the phone ran - it was Jo. No, don't think what you're thinking.

We had a long conversation about, well, everything that needs to be sorted out. It has been filling my head and I could tell it was filling hers, but she managed to do what I hoped she would be able to do. As far as she is concerned, she left me, not through any of my own wrong-doing, not through any fault of mine. Personally, I think it takes two to tango, and I can't let her take any of the blame, but still.

As she left, she has decided that I will have custody of the kids, and I will have them here, at the house. Our house is now my home.

I know - I know - it must have been so hard for her, but we are still friends. It's hard for us both at the moment, but no one knows me like she does. One know every facet of one anothers lives, and will always have to be friends.

So, the kids will be here for the weekdays - Sunday evening till Friday evening or Saturday morning, when they will stay with Jo, where ever she is. Obviously, and we discussed it completely - she can come over when she wants because they are as much hers as mine, and we spoke about Tam because she is the younger of the two. She needs her mum and Jo needs her - she is her little girl, after all. She more than likely Tam will be alternating between the pair of us more regularly than Five Days with me/Two Days with Jo.

We spoke about the legal aspect, and both agree that we will share the legal rights (Parental Rights) of the children. We can take them abroad, make medical decisions and such like - like I said, she is still their mummy, and I am their daddy.

Things like School Holidays, Birthday, Xmas I assume we will play by ear. If Jo wants to go away for a weekend, then I am here, and if I want to go stay with people for a break, the same applies from Jo's point of view. With us still being friends and getting on - and I don't mean in that strained way you often see - I suspect Birthdays and Xmas will be something we share somehow. The logistics of it at 4am at a little out of my comprehension at the moment.

Anyway, for the time being, Jo is with her parents, Jaysen is here with me, Tam is with Jo, and she is over Saturday to sort out paperwork and whatnot. I'm still going to help her get a place, saving up a little money here and there, maybe see if I can get a loan of somekind to help out.

Anyway, I've slept, not for a huge length of time, but I HAVE slept, but bolted awake at half three for no reason and my mind was running in circles since. I'm hoping that a bit of blogging clears it and lets me sleep - but considering I am up in just over two hours, I doubt it.