With everything going on of late, I've not really spoken about Bethy. A few new people in my life have asked about her, and I've pointed them in this direction. Obviously I still miss the little madam something crazy, but I don't sit and cry all the time. Another sure sign coming OFF the meds is working out for me.
However, yesterday... You knew there was a but coming, didn't you!
While Jo and Steve were here collecting some more of her stuff, Jo came down with Bethy's doctor coat that was in the cupboard in the bedroom:

We both looked at it and smiled, I said she could take it back to hers with her, and that was that. Spent a little while thinking about her, but then soon carried on with my day.
About an hour later, Jo sent me a message saying that she was fine with the coat, but obviously Bethy had eaten while in it, and she found some food marks on it - and THAT is what set her off. So Jo was texting me in tears, which set me off. Not sob-sob, just a quiet little cry.
Within 30 seconds, my music shifted to the next track on my playlist, and off ALL the tracks on my computer - nearly 3000 - it happened to be Evanescence - My Immortal. Bethy's funeral song.
THEN I was sobbing like a baby. It doesn't help that I am tired, run down, and the weather yesterday was shite but not long after I had a cry, the sun came out, and I felt better again. Ruth called, asked what was up, and I ended up going over there for a late lunch before the school run.
It was almost like my little lady was up there looking down getting my attention. And now, blogging about it, I feel fine - a little sad, maybe - but otherwise OK.
Hope you're having fun up there my gorgeous.
x
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Name: Dan English




