In The Dead of the Night

There's one thing I never really managed to get to grips with in my life. Since my teenage years, I've never gone to bed and slept right through. Don't get me wrong, occasionally I will go to bed and not wake up till I have to, but most nights I take ages to get to sleep, wake up all night on and off, and then finally, when I need to get up, I don't want to.

Last night, however, I was pretty much blown awake by... Well, I don't know what. I was on the phone to my pretty little lady till late, and fell asleep fairly quickly - I was knackered. Then for no reason at all, I woke up with a shock.

You know when something is just wrong and you need to find out what. I didn't know if I had heard something out of place, if I had caught a strange smell, if I had had a bad dream... Something was wrong and not what it should have been.

So I ran up the stairs - literally ran UP to the kids rooms. Both asleep, snoring, quiet, comfy. OK, so not them. Checked their windows - not that I suspected someone to be tapping on the third story window of a house - but all fine. Plodded back downstairs - avoided the crazy driver on the landing - and checked all the doors and windows of the house. Nothing, all locked, closed (or open a bit for the small windows) and secure.

The dog was sound asleep on the sofa doing the Possessed By Demons shit with her eyes, rolled back into her head, so she'd obviously been asleep for a while. Dipstick was curled up on my chair and gave me a "What time do you call this" look. Bast was asleep on the dogs bed in the hall and just watched me go by.

Nothing in the house was wrong, strange, out of place... But the sense of foreboding I had was palpable. I very nearly picked up the phone and called a couple of people, but held fire. I hate my phone ringing in the dead of night - it scares me as it's always bad news. The last thing I wanted to do was inflict that on someone else.

I went back to bed and took ages to settle down again - half four, the last time I looked at the clock. I was waiting for something to happen, and nearly crapped the bed when Tam appeared at my door and wanted to get in bed with me at three.

I feel fine again this morning. Tired, knackered, but no bad feeling. Quite often when I get a bad feeling, there is usually a reason, so watch this space...

Crash!

Something I've noticed more and more of late is my energy levels, or, more specifically, how my energy banks seem to have a leaky valve somewhere. It's very hard to explain to people without sounding stranger than usual, but I think I need to talk to the doc about it.

There are three "periods" during the day that my body tries to shut itself down if I am not doing stuff. Late morning - half ten to midday ish; Early afternoon - one to two ish; and Late afternoon/Early evening from about four till half six ish. It's not every one of these times, and it's not every day it happens, but most days, you can pretty much bet that I will find myself literally crashing out. And if none of these, then I will drop while in bed, or while trying to stay awake in the night.

I can almost fight it off if I push myself up and do stuff, but more often than not it literally lands on my lap and I only realise it's happened when I am waking up. If I am out and about, it's not a problem, I just yawn a lot but I don't do any of this falling over asleep thing, nor do I nod off on public transport.

It might be that I am reading, I might be playing on the web, watching a DVD, even playing Warcraft. I've fallen asleep mid-text, mid-msn conversation, while blogging, and almost nodded off while chatting to people on the phone. Even if I am with company, sitting down watching or doing something, I can be using every shred of my being to fight off dozing off. When I was with Posh Totty a couple of weeks back, Posh, Mr Posh and myself were sitting watching a movie, and I kept doing the Heavy-Head-Jolt-Thing as I was nodding off. Same thing week before last while sitting at Kellies watching TV - I kept jolting myself awake - which was a moot point as she had already flaked on the other end of the settee, but still...

Now, I'm more inclined to believe that it's either a side-effect of coming off the Paroxitine, coupled with my Chronic Fatigue. I am 99% sure I don't have something like Narcolepsy or anything equally strange. With my life change, I am a lot busier than I was, so maybe it's just my body trying to catch a break. I'm up early, busy during the day, busy in the evenings, out and about at weekends... Maybe I just need my batteries recharged.

Thanks to Dr. Cassandra I'm on multivitamins and suchlike, plus I have pure juice each day AND, despite my previous "no no no" stuff, I have a daily probiotic thingiemajigg that I have with my breakfast. I'm not eating crap foods, and easily doing my "five a day" milarky as well, plus, with the amount of tea and coffee I drink in a day you'd think I would be jittering and vibrating like that rabbit... No, let me rephrase that... Like that Battery Bunny ;)

So, if ever we're chatting on some medium or another and I suddenly go silent, you'll know why.

On The Meds

OK I'm kidding... mostly. See, while I am off my Happy Fun Pills, I am NOT off my "For-The-Love-Of-All-Things-Holy-OWIE!" pain killers. Unlike sadness and depression, chronic pain and missing-bits-of-spine don't go away.

Which is a shame, but still.

See, in my garden, I have a plant I've mentioned before. I'm not going into the SATAN of all plants, but if you're bored, have a google for Japanese Knotweed. I have that. Lots and lots of that.

I had to contact DEFRA (Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) about the plant after being bounced from council, environment agencies, departments for this, that and the other. DEFRA are a nice group - they are the ones that deal with the nice stuff, Foot & Mouth, Bluetongue, Avian Flu... All the good stuff.

Oh, and now, Knotweed.

I had to leave the garden while they investigated and looked into it as it's a bitch. Once you have it, you have it. Anyway, a nice lady called me this morning and said as long as I don't dump it, shred it, landfill it or anything else, I can rip that fecker up. Of course, to get to it, we had to get the tribe of pygmys to allow us to hack through the grass jungle. So me and the boy hacked, and mowed, and strimmed, and piled... Took us three hours, but we found various things, most importantly, the gravel and the lawn:


OK, to put this in perspective - the shed at the end of my garden was all but hidden. The metal washing-line-pole was missing. Of course, it's not tidy by a long shot yet. There's actually a PATH on my lawn but it's well grown over. And no, I still don't have a fence. And yes, the rear-neighbours do have a pool. And yes, the house on the right has a lovely garden. If you look carefully, that pile of GREEN next to my shed - that's the stack of knotweed that was covering the lower half of the garden.

And to give you an idea of this weed... See the fence panel on the left of my garden? See the green plant growing next to it? THAT, my friends, is knotweed. Mine wasn't quite that tall, but still - that is 5 weeks of growth. That's a seven-foot tall fence panel. Still not impressed? Go right, to the paved garden, and go to the end of their garden where it backs onto the people behind... See the green behind their shed and their neighbour? Yeah, that's it too. That's how far it's spread. It's two or three doors to the left and right, and one garden back.

Here is a detailed artist impression of what my garden looked like before we used MANLY skills on it.


Actually, I am quite impressed by the depth in that image. My art skills are clearly improving. But that pretty much summed up my garden. Sally could go out there and vanish in the grass. I had to wear my big clumpy boots incase I found a snake out there. *shudder*

But anyway, to the subject at hand. I am now sitting with fluffy-leg sensation, and am listening to very loud music and waiting for the Mother F'king pain to jump on the bus and get outta Dan Town. Head Meds - gone. Back Meds - My Friends.

On Being Banned

I wouldn't bandy the term "addicted" around very much usually, but I have noticed that I am rather... Well, bored. Usually when I get up, I check mail, stats, news, blogs, facebook. The last isn't just "checking", it's replying to messages, playing games, sending gifts, posting on walls, saying hi to friends.

I never had much in the way of applications unlike some people out there - my profile page usually loaded after a few seconds - but there were things on there I liked to do.

I'm still trying to think as to the why I got banned, and really cannot figure it out.

• I sent 15 Ann Summers gifts out
• I invited several friends to Owned and Scramble
• I SuperPoked everyone with the Poke of the Day
• I made nearly a million dollars buying and selling my friends
• I took two surveys
• I sent a half-dozen messages to my Aussie Stalker
• I posted on a couple of other peoples Walls
• I poked. As usual ;)

Now the ONLY thing that was different about yesterday was the poking strangeness and what I thought to be broken friend request. First, the poking. The only person on was Mel, discussing, er, stuff. I noticed that when I poked her back, another poke instantly appeared from her. I'm not talking with a few seconds delay, but instantly. The second thing was a friend request from Mels hubby. I clicked "confirm friend request" and went back to my front page, where there was a friend request from Mels hubby. Which I confirmed, only for it to get replaced by a friend request from Mels hubby, which I confirmed, and so on.

Typical bloody Australians get me banned it would seem ;) Wenches and Convicts the lot of em.

Other than that, I have NO clue what I could have done to earn myself a ban. That list is what I do pretty much every single morning. Then I am on and off facebook during the day as and when I get a chance. I'm still getting the "Your account has been disabled by an administrator" message trying to log in. No reply to the three emails I've sent them. Emmas group has started getting lots of members - I was in bed last night texting her names of people I could remember on there, but having NO head for names or anything, I was struggling. I was texting her names, she was hunting them down and sending them messages...

Only to get a warning for being a spammer! hehe

My StatCounter has shown that the group has doubled the traffic to my blog yesterday - from 80-100 hits to just over 200. Not too shabby really.

But I am bored. I don't play WoW all the time, and I've read the internet. Usually an evening unwinding would involve kicking arses at Scrabble or Word Twist, but not last night. If it gets too bad I might have to resort to drastic measures...

*gulp*

I might have to turn on the telly.

Hiding Out

While Monday was "ok" here - as you could prolly tell from the blog being busy - I was keeping busy for my own reasons. That reason was mostly Tuesday.

Tuesday was Jo's birthday, and my head was all over the place. Now, most people couldn't understand why my head was in such a mess, but it wasn't just that it was her birthday, it was also the fact that it was the anniversary of the day I proposed to her many years ago.

It hurt to think that I'd gone from being happily engaged, to being a single parent. It was just another of those "dates" that stuck in my head.

On top of this, I didn't know what - if anything - I should have done. Should I have gotten a gift, a card? As it was, I didn't do either - I wished her happy birthday by text, and it killed me to do so. Jo's parents got the kids stuff to give her from them, and I remained hiding out.

As you know, I was out Friday night. I was out Saturday daytime too. Then I spent all day Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday hiding out with Ruth. She's been looking after me, cooking my dinner and generally letting me rant and mope as much as I needed. I've helped her with her shopping, I've done a bit of babysitting for her (yesterday for 90 mins, today for a few hours) so she can sort various stuff out...

But, for the most part, I've been at hers almost the whole week.

I think today is the longest I've been here since Friday. And on the plus side, the two terrors are home today as well. Jo is out over the weekend, so I've got them for a couple of extra days, and thankfully (finally!) Jaysen is back at school on Monday. Part of me thinks this break has whizzed by, and the other part thinks "OMG come ON!"

So, hopefully with my head being back on track (again... again...) I will be a little more productive. The house is tidy which is something, but there's still lots needing doing. I've gone from being busy has hell to bored out of my skull.

Lemmie find that happy medium, and I will be sorted!

On top of being out, being busy/bored, I've been suffering from Insomnia from Hell. I'm talking "Bed At Midnight" and being awake till the wee small hours. My brain needs a mute button. Or just an off switch.

And having spent a couple of days off the meds, I'm zapping like a bitch too!

Tiredness Is Bad

I hate being tired. Not because I have no energy - I don't have that luxury any more - but because when I get tired, I get paranoid, worried and, especially, my head wanders to bad places.

I can't help it. Before all this, when I was tired, I would sit and think back to the hospital with Bethy, but now my mind flashes me back to all the good times me and Jo had, and how it is now, almost like it's mocking me.

"You lost it, you idiot"

I can't help it. I sit here and my mind just decides to take me back to something, triggered by who knows what. I've always had a very good head for memories, and remember lots of things vividly. Added to this, the Behind the Scenes stuff I don't talk about here - they mount up as well, and sometimes it kills me. I can't understand how I am supposed to press on, I just want to curl up and let the world pass me by.

And then I think of the kids. They are now my biggest priority, and I have to hold it together for them. I worry how this is really going to affect them, if there's some sort of underlying damage being caused.

I just feel like the world is spinning, and I am struggling to keep up with it all. Tiredness just makes me feel defeated. I talk to Jo and hear what she is up to, and look at what I am trying to do here. It's just that she is better able to move on that I am at the moment. It's something she's had time to prepare for, steel herself against and get settled in her head.

But I have to deal with it.

I just want to sleep.

On Crap Nights

Some nights I can go to bed and just lay there - nothing really playing on my mind, but no matter how tired I feel, I just cannot get to sleep. Other nights I drift off, only to jolt awake, then drift off to jolt awake, ad infinitum.

When Jo isn't around, it's even worse, and when I am hurting, it's becomes even less fun.

Last night, my body was fighting sleep through till the early hours. I was up till gone midnight, and then laying in bed till nearly 3am, awake but exhausted, before finally falling asleep. Only to have no reason what so ever to bolt awake at 4am. I bolted up, awake and completely with it. Still totally knackered, but unable to sleep.

So I got up and watched some cartoons, mature as I am. Then my alarm went off at half six, so I've been doing morning things since then.

I'm cold, tired, aching - but at least it's Friday. Tam is being taken by Jo's mum, Jaysen is going to school, and there's a risk of people coming over this weekend which means I need to work my arse off and clean up this pig sty of a house. On an hour of sleep. Then it's get the boy from school, sort dinner and... well, assuming visitors don't arrive till tomorrow, I might just try to sleep.

I can't stop yawning, my eyes look like piss-holes in the snow, and I am cold all the way through by body, even fully clothed. But the world carries on around me...

Feeling Off

Yet again, last night was a crap night. I went to bed hurting, took what felt like forever to get comfortable and even longer to fall asleep, only to be waking up too hot, too cold, hurting some more, feeling shit... Last night seemed to last forever.

When the alarm finally went off, I just lay there and hit snooze. I never hit snooze. I just lay there trying to find the oompf to get up. I hit snooze again and didn't get up till nearly seven, paced around the house trying to work out what the hell I was doing, till I finally got in the shower.

Once I got out, I kinda just... Sat. No drive, no energy. My get-up-and-go has emigrated. I feel sad, even though the sun is out. I'm tired, but dozing during the day just makes me feel like arse. Jo went out to get the stuff to make Wife Soup to cheer me up, so while she was peeling and grating, I washed up.

I ended up having Ruth take Jaysen in this morning, and I'm not sure if I have the energy to get up and get him from school - I think I'll try bribing Jo to get him so I don't have to get up.

I can't place what's wrong - lots going on in my head, compounded with being completely knackered doesn't help matters. I can't be bothered with WoW, with Hellgate, with Facebook... I've poked through various sites and blogs this morning, but am now just watching a DVD with Jo.

Think I need more tea and a good nights sleep!

Back To It

With me having felt rough all week - the week Jaysen is off school no less - and doing nothing but fight the powers of daytime TV and falling asleep on the sofa, we decided this afternoon to head to a friends for dinner. Nothing fancy, but the kids played in one room, we had "adult" conversation in the other. My week off from school runs, early mornings and cleaning school uniform was replace by feeling pants.

Ugh.

I still don't feel great - though, of course, eating that tub of Amaretto Ice Cream certainly didn't help matters - but we came home early in order to get an early night. We had company all weekend, and now the house is quiet again, it's nice to drop my jeans, put my feet up, and burp foamy almond burps.

Damn ice cream.

Of course, having to get up at the arse-crack of Monday morning should be interesting, as I've been dealing with evil insomnia once again. Well, partly it's insomnia, partly it's napping during the day frying the poor body clock. But I've been dozing during the day and up from about midnight till some silly hour, either playing games, reading the internet, hassling people on MSN or, er, playing more games.

Last night I was up till gone five in the morning, the night before was 4am, and the night before that was 3am. To add insult to injury, I've been getting up against at around half eight, just a few hours later.

I can't say it's doing me any good, what with the date that is up coming, not to mention random stuff that I don't blog about getting into my head. When I am tired, I dwell on things, I replay events over and over in my head until they are completely different from the actual event, and, in general don't do myself any favours.

So, tomorrow morning I should be up early, get Jaysen sorted and get out to pay bills and buy some of that pesky food stuff the kids seem to need every day or two. I am hoping that by keeping busy I will be knackered but stay up, have another early night and get the body clock back onto GMT-London. Which means I am going to bed early, like, in about 10 minutes. I am so manly.

And I must buy some more ice cream tomorrow...

Marvellous

I stood up and could smell hot plastic. A quick glance around showed the TV was on and fine, my laptop was on and fine, Jo was using her computer... I looked at my monitor and it was off - which is strange. Then I noticed the power light was flashing - which usually means No Signal.

The computer was ON, but no signal. Forced shutdown, fiddled with graphics card - still dead.

I've got such a headache I just cannot deal with it at the time being, but I have a suspicion something has died on a massive scale. Ho hum. Fingers crossed I can repair it, otherwise, it's laptop only for me.

Grey

While I am generally an up person, there's something about December to March the just makes me feel... Meh. Flat. Pah.

I think the fact it's Bethy birthday in January and her angel day in February, these dates don't help, and the current period - the end of January till the 21st February - just make me think of our stay in hospital and the various dates where things went to shit. What really doesn't help is the weather. There's something about England that is, frankly, just grey.

I get up for a school run and it's still kinda dawn, but grey. By the time we're out the house, it's lighter but still grey. Then throughout the day it's grey. Then it's school run #2 and it's still grey. Jaysen gets in, we potter around and it starts to get dark.

Being tired as well doesn't help matters, and the last couple of weeks have been Insomnia City which has driven me mad. Laying in bed and trying to fall asleep for ten hours before giving up and having another day...

As you can tell, I'm tired, I'm fed up, the weather is pissing me off and I'm just feeling deflated. I hate this time of the year. No doubt be prepared for gaps in my posting for a while...

Exhausted!

This week, I have mostly been battling with insomnia. I've been going to bed like a good boy, I've even managed to fall asleep fairly quickly (despite Jo stealing the duvet, or Tam appearing in our bed and kicking me in the head) but the trick seems to be actually staying asleep. Within an hour or two, I am not only awake, but prowling the house, checking doors, windows, kids, email and everything else. Then I go back to bed, toss and turn for a few hours, get a drink, read, watch a DVD or something, and then finally, sleep kicks in... I drift off to sleep, warm, comfortable, peaceful...

In time for Mr Alarmclock to make his presence known. And the day starts all over again.

I wake up for apparently random reasons. Usually it's because I'm hurting, sometimes I need to wee, or Tam has woken me, or Jo has woken me, or I have just woken up for no reason.

Anyway, the offshot of all this, is that when I am tired, I get down in the dumps. When it's grey and wet, I get down in the dumps. So I've been either ignoring the world and playing Warcraft, or I've been curled up on the sofa with Tam and my laptop playing stupid games.

Hence the lack of blog posts, and lack of my comments across other blogs.

Of course, getting drunk texts from people all hours of the day and night keep me amused, as does various confessions from various people, not to mention hearing about myself through the Gossip Grape Vine. That always makes me chuckle too.

So, last night wasn't much different - drunk chicks texting, lack of sleep, house prowling... My eyes feel like pissholes in the snow, and of course, considering which country I live in, it's cold, grey and wet. To WoW or Not To WoW, that is the question...

The Sofa

It's nearly midnight here in Chez 0ddness, and yet, here I am, pissing around on my blog. The reason is simple - I am on the sofa tonight.

Thankfully, I hasten to add, it's not one of those "YOU can sleep on the sofa tonight" instances, but me, being the perfect gent that I am, have given up my bed for our friend Lane.

Yes, there are two women in my bed tonight... But I am still the gentleman here ;)

Lane is having what you might want to term "A Bloody Awful Time", and has spent the day here alternating between crying, laughing, chasing the kids, and chilling out. She even got to see Migraine Dan pass out on the sofa and bury himself under a stack of sleeping bags. She's been through a lot in the last few months, and it's all coming out on our shoulders.

She's also the person that "helped" me get our replacement washing machine in. She's even started to blog a bit, I've added her to the blogroll. Her blog is Phoenix Is... so poodle on over and say howdy.

In other news, well, we've got a replacement washing machine after our other one was repossessed. We got a letter today telling us it was going to be taken. Great, well done - would have been handy a week ago.

My arm is sore and bruised from the Needle of Doom.

I've had a bitch of a headache for the last couple of days.

Hellgate London is an excellent computer game. I've been waiting two or three years for this game, and it was worth the wait. Swords, guns, demons, undead - great stuff.

Firefly still kicks ass. Anyone that didn't enjoy what there was made of that show should be pushed out of their country and sent to somewhere strange. Like Australia.

Anyways, I am sooo glad tomorrow is Friday. No doubt it will be spent doing the worlds supply of washing up and clearing up generic chaos. I might even post the rest of my Whinefest ;)

So, with a Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers (who are no doubt doing family stuff and far too busy to read blogs, I'm going to try and fall asleep.

Edit: Oh, the template. So, it turns out that the problem is to do with new code being viewed on out of date software. You need to upgrade to IE7 or Firefox in order for the poor little sidebar to appear in the right place. I tested it on an old computer a couple of days back and see the problem, upgraded to Firefox and it was fine. Otherwise, just grin, bear it, and wait for the next template rehash ;)

Crappy Days

With Jaysen being back at school, I have noticed something has cropped back up. Pain and Tiredness.

Trying to get back into the routine of "Get Up, Get Sorted, Get Out, Get In, Get Tidy, Get Fed, Get Re-Sorted, Get Out, Get In, Get Dinner..." It's bloody never ending, and I'm finding less and less time to do anything. This morning I struggled to peel myself out of bed, hardly had the energy to shower, let alone wash and dry my hair.

THEN once I was sorted, and Jaysen was sorted, it was a case of fight the old buggers in town milling around every fricking aisle I needed. The old idiots walk even slower than me and act like they own the world. Yes I sound ageist, but none the less, please, when someone appears to be in a bit of a rush, don't stand there and glare at "the rude young man" just get out his bloody way!

Don't even remind me how close Xmas is...

And now, I've managed to eat some lunch, take my meds (late) and am trying not to fall asleep on this ever-so-comfortable sofa. I'm hurting, the pills aren't taking the edge off anything, but I can't fall asleep as Tam is maurading and Jo is asleep. Plus I am smelling evil stinky something, while no one else can, so it's time for headache pills as well!

So don't be surprised that posting is sporadic over the next day or three ;)

Oh, and in reply to the previous comments, I didn't put the spoon in the socket on purpose, I didn't decide to do it on a spur of a moment kinda thing, it just "happened". No Darwin Award for me, but that's no great loss. The post Tim mentioned in regards to the broken glass is Here. And that was only February!

It's Gonna Be Busy...

OK, so last night was a shite night. Could not get comfortable, hurting all over, the Tam joined us in the bed as well, so I was cramped and hot.

Yes, this is going to be a pissy, moany post.

Anyway, this house has more pets than we did. Dog (Plus Sally as well), army of cats, ducks, fish, chinchillas, plus the garden to water and hose down. Plus Tam is into everything in this highly non-child-proof house. What is it about grandparents that get everything as appealing to toddlers, as fragile as possible, and put everything in such easy to reach places.

I could literally moan all day, but I won't. For a change of pace ;)

Luckily, I've not been playing WoW for a couple of weeks now, so not missing out on that, but still, all my stuff is in my house, but here, it's someone elses stuff, which just doesn't entertain.

Here's hoping you lot are having a good time!

Pain

Today, I will be mostly suffering and hurting. The last week of being busy has caught up with me - well, it caught up with me last night in bed. But regardless, I am in fricking agony today. Added to this, somehow I have forgotten to take The Meds for the last two days, so not only am I twitching and zapping, but I'm trying to keep my mind occupied and OUT of the hospital.

Anyway, I've managed to get almost dressed. I managed a washing load. I managed to plug my laptop in on this side of the room.

And that's it.

So, no doubt you can expect mucho-spammage from me today. And no webcam - it'll either point at unkempt Dan, or Cartoon Network!

Yuck

I'm tired and can't wake up.
I had a pants night sleep.
I'm hurting like buggery.
I have exactly zero get up and go.
So, here's a gangster-dancing Yoda.

Hectic

These last couple of days have been constant, non-stop go-go-go style days. What with having to buy stuff, sort stuff, fix stuff, kid stuff, pet stuff and everything else, I've not had fifteen minutes to sit down, put my feet up and think "Ahhh peaceful". Even now, with Tam sitting quietly, Jo out and about, and Jaysen at school, I am trying to type with Chuck Norris beating seven bells of crap out of my keyboard and mouse.

If you find any typos or random characters/letters in this post, I have photographic evidence as to why:


The mighty hunter indeed. The mouse is bigger than he is.

So anyway - we had a school assembly to attend yesterday morning for Jaysen - 50 adults packed into a little hall to watch about seven minutes of 35 eight year olds forget their lines and pull faces at one another. Joy. Last night we spent an hour with our friend Jim, who fitted me out with a steel backplate for when I go Roleplaying next month - so that should prevent some major ouchies. Yes, it's a safe hobby, but accidents happen.

We've been shopping, Tam has been moody as hell over the last couple of days, plus where people keep "popping in" unannounced, the house looks like a bomb has hit it.

Of course, lack of sleep and being so busy has taken it's toll, and today I could not wake up, and can hardly move. Seriously, I feel like I've been hit by a truck and can hardly move, so it's veg-out-and-hope-for-the-best today.

So now I have to go feed Tam (who still has the hump) and try to finish this post with a kitten attacking the keyboard and the mouse pointer on the screen. Ugh.

Still Tuesday?

So, nearly 10am, and I've seen every minute of Tuesday so far. And I don't mean I've been in a corner dozing off - I actually took Jaysen to school, I've had breakfast, and I am functioning. Well, sort of - my eyes are sore and I am wearing sunglasses, but I am still awake, and not going to sleep again till bedtime - which is twelve hours or more away. Yikes.

I almost considered going back to bed, or at least, the sofa, but decided in the long run it was too bright, and I'd probably feel worse for having just a couple of hours of sleep. I managed to be both coherent AND safe while walking to school, remember everything and didn't get run over or anything. I did, however, hurl abuse at the Lollipop Lady as we crossed with her as usual, reminded her Xmas is half a year away, and that her hair was frizzy.

I like to make peoples day a little more surreal.

Anyway, I was dressed and had eaten breakfast before 5am, which is around the time I resigned myself to being up and awake. Now to just stay awake for the rest of the day...

*thud*ZZZzzzZZZzzz

Edit: For those of you having problems with the posts appearing half-way down the page, I am suspecting it is an Internet Explorer 6 hiccup somewhere, and am looking into it. Granted, there are only three of you affected, but you know what I'm like!. Anyway, it's a fix-in-progress. With no sleep. This could be interesting...

Tired... Slow... Ugh...

Do you ever get that feeling that everything is just sooo slow? Yesterday, my entire day was spent feeling like that. I was tired to the point of exhaustion, I felt heavier than I usually do, I felt icky, and spent most of the day on the sofa, nodding and dozing.

The dogs laid on me most of the time, with the occasional guest appearance from Tam, but I kept finding that I'd close my eyes, flick them open, and an hour or two would have vanished, only to repeat it a little while later. Today I still feel icky, I still feel heavy and still feel tired, just not as bad as yesterday.

Apparently, after speaking to Ruth, this is part-and-parcel of the Chronic Fatigue/ME stuff and happens fairly often. I know I can get tired from doing very little, and some days I just want to die, but daaaamn.

In other news, we got a call a few days back on our mobiles from another operator - would we switch to them, get a new phone, contract instead of pay as you go, free calls, free texts, etc etc... Not thinking we'd pass the credit check, we said yes, and low and behold, we got new phones!

Jo wanted the black one, and I love my white one. Sony Ericsson W850i, with 1Gb memory for MP3s as they are Walkman Phones as well. All very spanky, shiny and swish. Obviously, it means we have new phone numbers, so if you DIDN'T get the text from us, drop me a mail and I will let you know them :) I considered putting them on here, then realised what a fantastically stupid idea that would have been.

After all, I'm so horrible to some of you, I'd end up getting hate mail ;)

Anyway, this means my old Motorola L6 is knocking around for anyone that wants it. It doesn't have a charger with it as it broke (and I used the computer/USB to charge it), but I might be able to dig out the hands-free stuff. You can probably get a new charger on Ebay, and accessories at boot fairs. The battery lasts a fair while, it's got a camera and stuff on it, bluetooth and what-not, and while it's originally a Virgin Mobile phone, it's unlocked to all networks. If it doesn't get an owner, I suppose I could post it to Tim in Australia to chuck into his charity box.

I might even remove the nekkid pictures of Jo from it too........

Edit: Actually I might leave the pictures on there - see if some bare skin will generate more money in an auction!