Today, I would like to say a very Happy Anniversary to two of our friends, Kelly & Kevin. I would like to say to them to have a great day, and here's to many more great days, months and years to come.
However. I will NOT be wishing or saying any of these things, because it is thanks to these two that I am in the current predicament in which I find myself.
You see, seven years ago, Kevin and Kelly got married. At this point, I didn't know who they were. I'd never met them, never heard of them, didn't know they existed. Kellie, however, did. She knew them, she was good friends with them, and she was at their wedding day.
I was not. I was not present. I was at home, alone, pondering my friend Kellie, a girl I hadn't seen since she broke my heart as a teenager, and had only recently started talking to once again earlier that year. The weekend before, I had stayed with my friend Mand, along with Jennifer, Becky and Lynzi. We had a boozy weekend of laughs, gaming, piss taking and after a few drinks, a slightly inebriated Moi told the four slightly inebriated girlies that I was pining for my friend Kellie.
"Text her how you feel" they said. "It'll be fun" they said. I played it cool. Well, drunk-cool. I told my friend Kellie that I missed her and that she should be up at Mands with me.
Cooooool ;)
But anyway. The weekend of the wedding.
Kellie is at the wedding. She's with Kerry (Kevin-the-grooms-sister) who is the equivalent of that little red fellow that sits on her shoulder telling you "What's the harm in just on more drink" in the same way that Kellie is the equivalent of that little red fellow on her shoulder...
We've kept in touch throughout the day. And as the evening wore on, Kellie got drunker and drunker. And she started being more and more open and honest in her texts.
It was about midnight that she admitted she too liked me in THAT way. Because of the wedding, however, she was staying at the hotel til Sunday, had to recover and get over the inevitable hangover... So we agreed to meet up Monday at the pub (?!) to have a talk.
Monday 9th June 2008, we agreed we should start dating, see what happens.
So thanks to Kevin and Kelly, with side-help from Mand, Jennifer, Lynzi and Becky, I find myself where I am today. Two days away from our "Together Eight Years" anniversary. A week away from our "Married Two Years" anniversary. Oh yeah, and there's the whole "Tadpole Will Pop Out This Week" thing too.
Damn people interfering with other peoples lives! Look what you did!!
It occurs to me that, despite having been married for over four months now, my blogging radio-silence sort of missed and skipped through the time we received our wedding photos...
Now, I am not going to post them all, just a few from throughout the day - otherwise, you will burn through any web/data allowance you might have by viewing this one post...
The total so far stands at 5Gb. Not too shabby.
Almost all of these photos I am posting were taken by our truly-amazing photographer, Sarah, of Prideaux Photography. Honestly, she was brilliant, more of a guest than someone working through the day (and she didn't just work, she slaved bless her). I am sure we will use her again for family photographs, but if you're in the area and need someone, contact Sarah.
Anyway, these are in a sort of chronological order, mostly by Sarah, some by me, some by James. We have literally hundreds of pictures too, but I'm not going to post photos full of everyone else, because you can bet someone will moan ;)
Effectively, this marriage has been in the making since I was 10 years old, when my mum said "We're moving house!" and moved into a little cul-de-sac called Blackmores. One of the first families we met was that of our neighbours, including a little blonde girl my age called Kelly.
Oh, and heads up - loooong post alert!!
And that, as they say, was where it all started to go downhill. We were friends through most of our teenage years, dated when we were 16/17 which ended in a messy fashion after a few months and a case of appendicitis, and from there we lost touch.
Well, I say "Lost Touch" but it was more of the "Never Spoke Again" fashion. Ah, teenage love...
From there, we moved into our own lives, meeting others, moving in, having kids, breakups - the whole shebang. And then, in early 2008, from NOWHERE came the following:
BOO!!!!
Hey Dan....
Hows you? It has been years and years... !
Needless to say, I was a little surprised to get a message from her, considering we didn't part company on the best of terms - but it was so long ago, we were just kids, etc etc... So we started chatting on Facebook, catching up, comparing history.
We went from chatting on and off, to chatting almost daily, then we exchanged phone numbers and started texting. Then we spoke on the phone, then we met up for lunch, then lunch became a regular thing. We met up in town one day and headed over to Blackmores - where the 0dd Mum still lives - had lunch, then wandered around our old stomping ground, taking photos and reminiscing.
We met up and spoke more and more, but nothing was going on. We were just meeting up as friends, no more, no less. Then our friends started noticing how much we chatted, how often we text, how we chuckled at something the other said. "Oooooh is that your girlfriend?" would be a regular comment thrown my way, and Kellie was getting the same thing on her side.
Then one fateful weekend, Kellie invited me over. Dinner, watch a movie, have a drink... And everything everyone said over the past months came flooding back. I was a nervous wreck, and started questioning everything, and came to the conclusion that I was, in fact, falling for this slightly bonkers woman.
Uh oh.
So, we had dinner. We had some drinks. We watched a movie. We listened to music. We chatted into the early hours of the night...
Yes yes, I see it NOW...
What Kellie wasn't aware of, was that every time she left the room, I had a mini-meltdown, and was texting Posh Totty. "OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod such-and-such is happening! WHAT DO I DO?!" was the general gist of my messages. I was questioning everything, from how we were sitting, to how we were talking, to the music that was playing.
Oh course, Ms. Posh was very supportive. Her replies ranged from "HAHA LOLOLOL!" to "PMSL look at this funny image!"
Yes, I still have those emails, you funny f$cker
I was a nervous wreck, and needed to get my head on straight. Sit down with myself, calmly discuss with my brain what I was thinking, where my head was at, where my heart was at and so on. A nice, quiet, chilled out weekend.
Instead, I went to stay with Posh Totty. Along with three other slightly deranged women, Jenny, Lynzi and Becky, as well as Mr Posh and the Posh Son.
And instead of sitting and thinking calmly, we went to a pub opening. And had lots to drink. And the more alcohol I was plied with, the more I thought about Kellie. And the more I missed Kellie. And the more I text Kellie. And then, with more alcohol, we decided to head, not back to the Posh Palace, but to a club.
Where I was plied with MORE alcohol. And text Kellie even more. And realised I really missed her. And, of course, being with a gaggle of drunk chicks, they were all ever so supportive. "Tell her how you feel" and "Go on son!" and similar comments, ranging from a Kentish accent to some strange Yorkshire accent. And, of course, Posh Tottys very very snobby accent.
We went back to the house, all rather tipsy - I even managed to drop half a cheeseburger directly onto my phone - and I carried on texting Kellie. I told her I was quite drunk. That I think I liked her more than just a friend. That I missed her. That I wished she were here too...
Uh oh.
Then, it struck. I came down with a full-blown case of ManFlu. And to prove there was no feelings other than "Just Friends" and by doing what any other "Just a Friend" would do, Kellie should have text me a "Get Well Soon" and maybe sent my some sympathy via Facebook. You know, what any other normal friend would do.
That is what should have happened. However, Kellie decided to get on a bus, trek over to my house, and sit with me all day while I was coughing and spluttering and feeling very sorry for myself.
Yeah, just friends...
I was so ready to tell her exactly how I felt. But the germs must have scrambled my brains, because instead of saying "Look, Kellie, I like you, and you seem to like me, why don't we go out on a date" what actually came out was... Err... Nothing. Instead, I sat beside her on the sofa. We watched Cartoon Network together.
All. Day.
I decided enough was enough, I'm going to make my move! But the germs and stuff messed with my muscular system, because instead of moving my body towards her, I moved... My pinky finger. And placed it on her leg. And I just... Sat there. I was touching her with my finger, and maybe gently moved it against her thigh.
She didn't pull away. She didn't slap me. She didn't tell me to not do it.
So I stayed there.
And when she had to leave, I watched her walk down the street till she was out of sight.
Oh shit.
The following weekend, Kellie should have sat down, and placed her thoughts in order, tried to work out what she wanted, worked out the different signals from her brain and her heart.
Instead, she went to a wedding. Where she was plied with booze. And during that evening, I was getting progressively-drunker texts... Texts that seemed somewhat... Familiar... That she was drunk, that she missed me, that she wished I was there, and that she think she liked me more than just a friend.
And little did I know that on her side, she was being egged on by her supportive friends... "Tell him how you feel!" and "Go on love!"
So, once she sobered up, we decided to meet up on Monday and to go for a drink, to sit and to chat. Work out what we were doing, what we wanted and all the rest of it. Thus commenced the longest Sunday/Sunday Night/Monday Morning of all time.
Well, except for last Friday that is. But I digress.
The journey over to Canvey - a journey of about 40 minutes - took about three millennium. I was hot, sweaty and clammy. And it had nothing to do with the weather. I knocked on her front door, we said our hellos, and we headed to the pub. Just in time for it to open.
We then sat in the pub garden for three hours, talking, comparing notes, admitting that, yes, we did in fact have feelings for one another, and that, yes, there was something there.
We left the pub holding hands.
And I had received a sun burnt face. And had a girlfriend.
The rest, as they say, is history. Twenty Six years after meeting that little blonde girl, I married her, and can now officially call "The Girl Next Door" "My Wife"
To say the words "Thank You" to everyone that came along for the day and the evening seems do it a complete injustice, but honestly, from the bottom of my heart: Thank You. Truly.
Contrary to popular belief regarding weddings and the drama that is present at them, everything - every single thing - went perfectly, according to plan, and like clockwork. Sure, Kellie looked like she was about to burst into tears and/or puke/pass out, but she didn't.
Barely.
The morning kicked off after a completely pointless night of "sleep" and I ended up just getting up at 6am. Had to leave at ten, so no point in getting suited up till at least half nine... And thus commenced the longest morning in history.
In. History.
Every time I checked the clock, thinking "Must be time now, its easily been half an hour!" it had been about four seconds since the last time I looked.
James turned up to help out (because I knew I'd need help getting dressed!) so we stood around - him in a suit, be in a towel - chatting, drinking coffee, eating bacon sandwiches, waiting for the morning to piss off.
Finally, half nine rolled around, and because I'd been waiting all morning to shout it, I ran around screaming "SUIT UP!" much like Barney from How I Met Your Mother.
Simple things...
With one minor wardrobe malfunction, in that Jaysens shoes didn't fit, we were sorted, ready and out the door.
Looking damn fine, I might add...
The Studly Groom
Team Dan, aka, The Dream Team
And thus proceeded the longest journey in the history of journeys... Now, Brentwood is not THAT far from home, but it would appear some little f$cker was changing every traffic light to red, putting traffic on every roundabout, and plopping every member of the International Drive Like A Snail Car Club directly in front of us. One dick in a blue car decided to do HALF the speed limit. FIFTEEN miles per hour!
I didn't burst too many blood vessels on the way, but I may have been screaming at the driver. And noticing how many old ladies were waiting for buses.
We arrived, and to prove how damn STUDLY I am, I will add the following. The following is NOT made up, AND I had many witnesses!
We headed into the Registry Office, just to make sure everything was OK, discovered the wedding before ours was LATE (Grrr!) and as we were leaving, someone in the office said "See you in there soon!" to which I made a comment along the lines of "Assuming my bride turns up!"
Three women in the office laughed and replied:
Woman #1: If she doesn't, I'll marry you! Woman #2: No, I will! Woman #3: No, I WILL!
Propositioned thirty minutes before getting married? Huzzah!
And so, we waited. Guests started to arrive, the four-person wedding before ours rushed in fifteen minutes late, and we stood around, twiddling our thumbs. Kellie and her procession were due to rock up at quarter to eleven.
A time that came, and went. Ten to eleven went. Five to eleven went. The previous four-person wedding rushed out. Eleven, time for me to get married, but there was no bride. The registrar called us in. No bride. I went inside with a couple of others, and as I stepped into the building, I head someone call out "Sheeeee's heeeeeeeere!"
OK, it may not have been in that voice, but you get the point. She was late. Shocking. Brides Prerogative, I'm told.
We finalised our paperwork, paid our fee, and had everyone filter into the chambers. Everyone in, I rocked in with a face that I could feel was split with a stupid grin. If I could have bottled the feeling I was feeling, I could cure global depression in an instant. Euphoric. Ecstatic. Over-The-Moon.
And so I stood, waiting. "Please Rise for the Bride" came the voice, and in she stepped.
Kellie leaving the hotel
Holy. F$cking. Shit.
She looked so gorgeous. Her dress - that she had had made specially - was black and white, and proper medieval-style dress. The bridesmaids - Molly, Tamsyn, Amy and Zoe - all looked gorgeous, but my eyes were fixed on Kellie.
Kellie, I should add, who was on the verge of a panic attack. Her hands were cold, her breathing was coming short and quickly (which, I should add, made her boobies bounce), and her eyes were on the verge of bursting into tears.
Reassuring hand squeeze, smile and wink.
I was worried I was going to be the wreck, but seeing her like it, I calmed instantly and just wanted her to breath and relax.
The Registrar had to ask, legally, if any person here has a reason why we should not be married... I had to turn. I had to look. So many times, over the years, I've threatened to stand up at other peoples weddings, and in the run up to ours, everyone was threatening the very same thing. There was much chuckling, several people gave nervous coughs, but no one was brave enough to face the wrath of the Bride ;)
We gave our declarations. We exchanged rings. We gave our vows. I didn't f$ck up at all. Kellies voice was threatening to burst into tears at any moment, but she got through it.
"I now pronounce you man and wife"
Cue much applause. Cue Kellie squeezing my hand as we kissed. Cue this idiot to turn around and throw his fists into the air in a victory cheer!
What can I say, I was so so happy!
We then had to sign the register, with our much-practiced-over-the-last-few-weeks signatures, and then we had a breather as our wedding certificate was signed.
Signing the Register
Cue me, whipping out my phone to take a photo of the Grooms Eye View. I HAD to upload a photo, I HAD to share with the world that we were, in fact, married.
Friends and Family (couldn't get the whole room in!)
The registrar even tried to get me to put it away, but not till I hit upload!
Out we went, into the daylight. I should add at this point, 6am was brilliantly sunny. 9am it went very grey. 1030am it was overcast, windy and threatening to piss down. By 1130am, the sun was back out!
We stood around outside being congratulated, showing off our rings, thanking everyone, calming Kellie down, posing a bit... Sarah - our exceedingly-brilliant photographer for the day - then led us across to Brentwood Common, which is very green, very picturesque and even had ducks!
The next hour was spent getting different groups of people together for pictures. After they were all done, we got rid of the entire guest list, and sent them off to the restaurant, while Sarah took pictures of us together.
After that, we got in our very nice car and headed to the restaurant together, spending the first time together since the day before.
Man & Wife
Once at the restaurant, we mingled, schmoozed, had some drinks (pushing the boat out with Diet Coke!) and chatted to everyone. Some more pictures were taken, but we had to be social, pose some more for people again, let the kids (of which, an army was present!) chill out a bit before the meal, and generally let the anxiety drain away a bit.
The George & Dragon in Mountnessing is a gorgeous restaurant, and the staff could not have been more helpful. They were brilliant and accommodating and we cannot say thank you enough. Our guests were ushered in and seated, then we went in (to applause again I think!) and sat while starters were sorted. There was much chatter, much socialising and getting along. It was so nice to see our two families and closest friends sitting together and having a good time.
The meal was absolutely gorgeous, and neither Kellie nor I managed to spill any down our fancy clothes. From start to finish, the food was amazing. James was thrust into the limelight when he had to give a toast which was nice, though for an awful minute before he stood up, I thought I was going to have to stand up and say something.
*shudder*
After the meal, we went out into the garden. The sun was shining, the kids were bored, so fresh air and more photos were just the ticket. Sarah had us all posing, standing around looking cool and even pulling faces at one another. Again - she was brilliant. We cannot wait to see the photos.
We spent the entire afternoon at the George & Dragon, and at about five, everyone bar us and Sarah left again and headed to the hall for the reception. We then sat and had a drink together, enjoying the peace and quiet of rural Essex, just chatting and chilling out while waiting half an hour for our car to arrive. We chatting, discussed the day so far, and generally took a breather.
Once the car arrived, we finished our drinks, and were whisked off to the leisure centre in Pitsea for the Paaaaar-teeeeeeee!
Upon arriving, we were greeted by a small crowd that had already arrived, and looked at the hall that had been decorated before we got there. It looks absolutely amazing and wonderful. There were piles of food, balloons, banners, confetti, and we had our own specially-decorated table with extra balloons and stuff. The guest book was laid out, along with pictures of Bethany, Kellies Nan, and Nan & Grandad, and the DJ was playing background music.
And thus started the evening. Family, Friends, even our old couple living next door came along, kids, new partners... It was brilliant seeing everyone there. The music went up, and people started to dance pretty quickly, drinks were bought, and the evening went perfectly.
We cut the cake, posing for pictures holding a very sharp knife. We had our first dance to Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up
Which went so well, I should add. We both teared up, and the day became very real in front of all our guests. We held one another close, ignored the world, and just... Danced.
The rest of the evening went by far too quickly. Like the rest of the day, it started, then, suddenly, it was rushing by. We kept stopping to take stock, to live in the moment, to think about what was going on around us, but all too soon, it was time for us to leave.
Reception
We said our goodbyes, had another slow dance, thanked everyone for everything, and the now-officially 0dd Mother-in-Law drove us to the hotel. We said our goodnights, and went to the room.
Which, of course, had been decorated.
By this point, we were both running on fumes. I had to help Kellie out of her dress *nudge-nudge* and she had to help me our of my suit *wink-wink* A quick shower, then we literally fell into bed. Well, after clearing the presents, chocolates and confetti off the bed first.
When I say, we were exhausted, I mean just that. Completely and utterly dead. What a lot of people don't realise, is that that morning, Kellie woke up with a very sore throat, and had spent a lot of the day sucking on throat lozenges. By 1am, her voice was pretty much doing the off, and Saturday morning, she sounded like the Emperor from Star Wars.
All that remained was to take one last picture (minds out the gutter!) and hit the lights...
Exhausted
The day was totally, completely, utterly, one-hundred-and-ten-percent perfect. It was so amazing and wonderful, words really do not do it justice.
To everyone that helped out and did something for us, a huge massive thank you. I am sure I have probably forgotten someone, but it is NOT intentional!
- Kerry, the maid of honour. Thank you so much for doing EVERYTHING for Kellie. I'm sorry that our very secret love affair, involving whispered conversations, late-night text messages, and secret gift-giving, has come to an end. But you did so much for the both of us, thank you.
- James, for being my anchor in amongst all the crazy, for taking me to London to geek out for the day, for your toast, and running me and everyone else around. Can't wait to see the pictures!
- Jaysen & Dominic, for being the best Best Men a Groom could ever ask for!
- Molly, Tamsyn, Amy & Zoe, for being the most beautiful of bridesmaids.
- Toby & Harry, for being the most super-cool Page Boys.
- Diane, the 0dd Mother-in-Law (officially), thank you for being there for us both, during every minute of every hour of every day. For getting the Bridesmaid dresses. For running people around. For keeping Kellie sane.
- Sarah, our photographer, of Prideaux Photography. Thank you for being an extra-special part of our day. You were more a guest than "Just a photographer" and you were totally brilliant. We are so looking forward to getting the pictures, and honestly loved having you with us.
- The staff at The George & Dragon, thank you for catering to such a rowdy bunch, for the amazing food and drink and the brilliant, flexible service.
- My dad, John, for arranging the car and driver for the day. And what a car!
- Sue, Kelly and Hayley, for decorating the hall.
- Gemma, the 0dd Sister, for running me around when needed, for all your help, advice and information you collated for us!
- Grandad Jim, for giving Kellie away.
- Nan Oz, for buying the cake.
- Ed & Les, for letting us use your home like a storage locker!
- All our guests, for the day and that came to the evening, thank you for celebrating our day with us, and making it absolutely perfect.
- And finally, to Kellie... For being there for me, through everything, suffering through my quirks and nuances, my mood swings, helping me through the days and nights when it's all I can do to get out of bed, for helping me through the times when the pain is winning, for being there, through thick and thin, for being my rock, my love, and most importantly, for being my wife.
With the wedding just *hurk* a day and a half away, I am now under orders to slow myself down, to stop "helping" (I use the term helping in the slackest possible sense) and to take it easy.
See, this week has been somewhat manic. Despite all the "big" stuff being sorted, Her Highness is finding little things to do everywhere she looks. The house looks like someone detonated a Wedding Grenade in most of the rooms, and I have it good authority that the 0dd Mother-in-Laws house, Kerrys house and parts of Kerrys parents house look much the same.
And so, with a list longer than my, ah, arm, she's still doing stuff even now - at nearly 10pm - and has a metric arse-load to do tomorrow. MY job list tomorrow consists of "Change Sheets" and "Iron Shirts"
That's. It.
All that remains is to send out a few emails to people with directions to the various places of interest (like the wedding, for example), to assume people that have been sent invites but have NOT returned the RSVP are coming, and to ignore the fact a few people surprising members of the guest list have decided to cancel.
I'm not naming names, but I am sure you will find out soon enough once you arrive.
As it stands at this moment, I am exhausted. Properly, physically and mentally drained. So bad is my head today that - as my status update alluded to - I completely and utterly forgot my computer password, and had to *cough* circumvent it.
And here's the rub with being me. I want to be running around, helping, doing stuff, arranging things, lugging things around with Kellie... But the simple act of carrying my suit around town yesterday lunchtime killed me. I had a crappy night of sleep last night due to being in lotsnlots of pain, and today has been a properly knackered-out day.
I know I am not alone. I know of other CFS/ME sufferers that have done the same thing and gone through the wedding... And it didn't beat them, so I am sure as hell not letting it beat me. I just need to do nothing for the next 30 hours and I should be good to go.
I'm not entirely sure I'll be up to much cop Saturday, but I'll do my best.
Who knows, I MIGHT manage a cheeky "Holy Shit, I'm standing at the Altar!" blogpost on Friday morning, but we'll see.
No, I am not nervous. No, I am not worried. No, I am not having second thoughts. Anything that is not finalised by this time tomorrow, we will do without it.
It'll be a perfect day regardless of things missing, things not being quite right, and certain people not showing up.
I will admit from the start, this is not so much as a "Things She Says" but it is kinda close... Think of it more "Things She Does" this time around...
But I digress.
Kellie is currently at work, and I have just phoned her to have a chat, see how her day is going and suchlike. She's tired, aching and generally running on fumes.
Me: Is it busy in the office? Kellie: A bit, but I'm going through my re...*muffled voice* *SLAP* Ow Fu... *Line Goes Dead*
Not entirely certain what is going on, I ring her back, and she answers the phone giggling.
Me: You OK gorgeous? There was a strange noise, you started to swear, and the phone cut out...? Kellie: Yeah I'm OK, I went to change ears with the phone, and slapped myself in the face instead, which hit the End Call button...
Usually with my insomnia, I can find no reason for it to happen. I don't lay in bed stewing on things, I don't lay in bed planning my life, I don't lay in bed dwelling on the past... But sometimes, I DO find things that keeps my brain rattling in the skull...
As you may have guessed, I am writing this during a bout of insomnia. And as you may have also guessed, I can place the reason for it...
I'm dwelling on all things Wedding.
No, I'm not worrying about it, just have lots of things running around in my head. Have to do this, have to figure this out, have to arrange this, can we afford this... Most people seem to think the Groom's job is just to turn up on time, but as Kellie (who has been snoring beside me ALL night long) and I are planning and arranging everything ourselves, I have slightly more to do than just show up.
Our original wedding plans came to a grinding halt in December, when we were hit with some big bills. No, we didn't publicise it, and no, we weren't going begging. Financially, our planned wedding was looking very unlikely. On top of all our health issues, it was too much, and we set about canceling it all together. I was pissed off and miserable, and tried to go about my business.
By mid-March, we decided to change the plan somewhat... Granted, we couldn't have the big wedding ceremony we wanted, but we could still get married at a Registry Office. This, of course, meant completely reworking the wedding guest list, and a serious culling occurred. Then we've had to look at alternatives for the meal, the evening Reception, the venue, caterers...
As well as this, Kellie now has just under the months to sort out her wedding dress, I've got to work out my outfit, then the boys and girls with us need clothing as well. Then there's the rings, the cake, the cars, the entertainment, not to mention the invites we've got to get made up (by us!) then posted, then sort the RSVP's.
The list is seemingly endless, and all I can do is think about things that need doing. Which means despite my best efforts, sleep is currently a big No-No. I've tried everything this night, but to no avail - the grey matter is running hot.
And I need to get my hair sorted!
I'm sure that as the days tick by, things will fall into place and can be crossed off the lists that are slowly building up... Hopefully the basics will be covered, and anything missing, meh, so be it. We're doing our day for us, with minimal drama and politics. If people don't like it, so be it - the exits are clearly marked.
Watch this space for future episodes, including "Shit, These Trousers Don't Fit" and "Oh My God I Ordered The Wrong Type Of Voulevant" and my personal favorite "I Look Hideous In This, I'm Not Going"
For the first time in almost a month, we are no longer living behind bars. I'd like to say we committed some heinous crime and were banged up for a time, but sad to say it's nothing so fancy. Over the last month, we've had our roof replaced, and where there are men working on high, there is scaffolding.
And where there is scaffolding, there are layers of planks of wood, and company boards and all the rest of the crap that goes with it. Suffice to say, despite it only being wood and bars, the house was reeeeeally dimly lit. Eight feet of shade from the top of the house (on either side) meant that it was gloomy throughout the house.
But today, after several weeks of random footsteps on the roof, of crashing, banging, a gentle rain of roof scraps and a near-constant smell of tarmac bubbling away, the men came and removed all the poles and planks and banners and crap.
I can actually see where I'm pissing on the floor now to boot!!
Other than living in the dark ages, we've been busy bees over the last few weeks. Kellie of course has been working, leaving me to resume my role of Uber Housewife. Of course, I've also restarted on the Amytriptyline, which has been interesting to say the least. The first few days I was sparko for hours at a time, and did very little. I've had lots of random side effects too, ranging from the world cascading from my bottom, to near-constant vertigo, shooting pains in my extremities, to zoning out at random. Some weird dreams and some sicky feelings have rounded it all off, but I am coming to grips with them I think.
However.
With a view to NOT killing myself, I've only been taking HALF a dose. So all this has come about from taking just one of my two bedtime tablets. I'm going to take the other in a few days I think, just to see what happens, but I HAVE been functioning somewhere... It's taken me a while to get into gear, and to focus on one job at a time, but I've been doing it no sweat. Kellie has had to help out quite a bit, especially for the first few days, but I think I'm getting there.
Bonus, I'm kinda sorta sleeping a bit better, but downside, it's taking me ages to get up in the morning, let alone to engage the brain. We shall see how it goes I think.
Today I've been pottering around, dismantled a couple of wardrobes, cleared up, moved stuff for the workmen to take the scaffolding through the house, cleared up after them, done some laundry, and have dinner on now, and I am sad to say I am exhausted. I am completely done in. It's been a long weekend, so I've had Kellie with me helping out for the last few days, but thankfully, it's only one child at the moment. Molly is here with me, Tam and Jaysen are back tomorrow, and Dom isn't back till Sunday.
In wedding-related news, after speaking with the family, Kellie has asked her Grandad to give her away. We went over there on Saturday and had lunch with him, and after a good old chin-wag putting the world to rights, Kellie asked him if he would be willing and able to give her away on our big day. He was very impressed and after being sure her dad didn't mind (we spoke to him earlier in the week, and he was fine!) he said yes.
Kellie has now bought a wedding planner kit, and is going through it with "oooh we have to do that" and "ooooh we have to do this" and colours, seating, flowers, bridesmaids, page boys and on and on. I'm in "Yes Dear" autopilot mode, so it is quite likely I've agreed to me wearing a very pretty dress. Not that people would be at all surprised I'd imagine... Two years just seems to very far away. Who knows, maybe we'll win the lottery and bring the date forward*
So, after a busy day, my body is giving me a good and proper telling off. I'm tired, sore, fed up of being tired and sore, and I have a headache to boot. So it's Jack Daniels and Coke tonight! Wheeee!
Now, if you will excuse me, my sausage casserole and roast potatos are nearly done.
Considering that we've not even sorted the Engagement Party yet, we keep thinking about little details about our Wedding... Don't get me wrong, we're not rushing about saying "Must do this! Must do that!" but every now and then, Kellie or myself will think of some completely random thing relating to our day...
We've looked at Venues (three times I wrote that as Venus!) and are trying to work out budgets and things. Tomorrow we're opening a savings account to start throwing money into in a hope we can actually afford it when the time comes.
But the little details... What should Jaysen & Dominic wear? What sort of rings should we have? What colour flowers? What about the cake?
The most recent quandary has been pretty difficult to be honest. Kellie and I love music, and while we have the same taste in a broad sense, some of the music she likes doesn't do anything for me, and some of mine just makes her roll her eyes... But what about our first dance as a married couple?
"Our Song" as it were has never really been sat in stone. There are songs we both listen to that make us think of when we started dating, but the one that always crops up isn't really a First Dance kind of song - Rihannas Take A Bow was dedicated to me by Kellie once, though by accident... She was trying to send it to her best friend. I got the dedication, listened to the words - about a guy being caught cheating and lying and being a complete arsehat - and thought "Hang on a second...?"
So far, the only song that we can both see us dancing to (Well, Kellie dancing, me shuffling along with her trying not to panic attack over everyone watching me "dance") is a song called Heaven... The version Kellie played for me is not in my head at all, and the version that I find that ISN'T the dance version sounds about right - but I'm not sure...
See, a very nice, pretty song that is quite soppy to boot. But no doubt we're going to sit and spend hours going through songs, listening to lots of them, Kellie listening to the words to make sure they're nice, me listening to the music because I'm a bloke ;)
Now, like I said, we're not running around panicking over anything - in fact, just the other day we agreed we'd not get stressed over as much as possible, and that she is NOT to turn into a Bridezilla... No sir, no thanks!
This last week has been, shall we say, a wee bit hectic with the "things" front.
Let's be honest, getting engaged is waaaay up there, and the amount of congratulations we've received has been astounding. Comments, Emails, Text Messages, Phone Calls... Pretty much most of my known world has dropped some sort of congratulatory message my - sorry - our way. To everyone that has sent messages, thank you. Really, Thank You.
Despite my lack of interest in the human race in general, the people I know always disprove my reasoning... I am beyond lucky to have so many friends out there rooting for my - sorry, our well being and good stuff. And those two silly little words - Thank and You - seem so... Inadequate?
I've had people I've not spoken to since school, people I've worked with, people I've not seen in years appearing on Facebook or here, sending me - sorry, us, congratulatory messages.
So again, to everyone that sent a message of some kind, we are both so grateful and appreciative to know that so many people are happy and sending us love, prayers, support and everything else. Thank you to everyone, and I hope that reading about the plans and stuff in the coming year or three isn't going to bore you to tears!
After two years and three months of not being killed by being with Kellie, we have some news!
Short Version: Me and Kellie are officially ENGAGED!
Long Version: Wheeee where do I start?! Things are excellent wonderful and great, and after a rather - shall we say, hectic - summer, Friday night was the first night we managed to have time to ourselves, minus kids. In a novel stroke, we decided to head out for the evening - dinner and a movie. All very grown up - or at least, as grown up as things can be with me around!
So anyway, we were sat waiting for our meal, and Kellie gave me a little card - the size and shape of a credit card - with a little poem about how much she loves me. Very sweet and very lovely - even if I did feel like a bit of a spanner because I didn't get her anything... So we had a very nice meal, and relaxed and had a few drinks chilling out without kids. Very nice.
After our meal, we had a wander through the town to the cinema, and while sitting in there munching on popcorn, she handed me another card - a normal sized one this time around. Again, a card telling me how much she loves me and similar mushy stuff. Again, I felt like an idiot because I still didn't have anything for her. I read it, told her how much I love her too, and we sat and watched a movie.
All in all, we had a lovely night out, didn't get in till late, and the following morning, Kellie had to go to work. I spent the day pottering around, and when she got in that evening, we were in the kitchen chatting, when Dom came in and tried to open the card to read it. Kellies expression was one of pure, abject panic. "Gimmie the card gimmie the card!"
We thought it was highly amusing, but Dom surrendered the card, and Kellie went about her business. My curiosity, however, was very much piqued.
That night, before bed, I nipped downstairs under the guise of "letting the dog out" and checked the card. Opened it up, and there was nothing untoward. Examined it a bit closer and low and behold, I found a secret message:
Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I've been thinking about proposing to her for a few months now - it HAS been over two years that we've been together after all!! However, she not only beat me to it, she gave me the card and I didn't see it hidden back there!
DOH!
So, being that I didn't just want to saunter up stairs and say "Yeah, alright then..." I took a picture of the message, and said nothing.
The following day - now Sunday - afternoon, I decided I needed to do something, so nipped out to "buy some cooking oil". And I walked. And walked and walked. I couldn't decide what to do - not that I was going to say NO, however, but how I was going to say YES. I thought about blogs, facebook, a return secret note... In the end, I opted for sending the picture of the message BACK to her, but simply put "Very much yes!" underneath it.
Of course, Mr Phone did NOT want to cooperate at this point. I pressed Send Message, and it failed. I hit retry, and it failed. After a half dozen attempts, I stripped my phone, pulled all it's bits out, reassembled it, and turned it on - Set Date and Time!
I wasn't actually sure WHERE or WHEN I was, so asked a passer by what time it was. He gave me the time, and when I asked what DATE it was, he gave me a funny look. Fair enough.
I hit sent, the picture went, and I grabbed the oil (finally) and headed back.
Halfway back, my phone beeps and her reply was "You sneak! When did you do that?!"
MWAHAHA I caught her off-guard, so fair was fair. When I got to hers, I knocked on the door, and she opened it - hiding BEHIND the door. Aw bless, she was all shy... Her first words to me after I stepped in, our first words as an Engaged Couple?
"I hate you!"
Bless...
Turns out, she was going to tell me about the message on Friday night, but being that she's as brave as a very unbrave thing, she chickened out...
No, we've not made any actual plans yet, not decided what's happening, where nor when, but probably looking a two or three years time to give us time to save up and get everything sorted. And we are all gross and kissified and smoochy smoochy which is probably gross and disgusting, but we don't care :D
Obviously you will be able to track the progress of everything on here, and I am sure that I will find plenty to talk about :D
For the newcomers amongst you, this blog is one of my little corners of the web where I generally spout rubbish, rant and rave about minor things, share music I love (and can't stand) and generally put the world to rights from my little corner of the web. I might talk about something I've watched, my family, my aches and pains, an upcoming movie, the news... and then switch to the weather, the crazy idiot I met in the street and the speed of a cat when running for its life.
You don't have to agree with what I say or think, you just have to be polite in your discussion!
Aside from posting here (I would say on a regular basis, but it's mood/brain dependant of late) I also post photos on-and-off on my Tumblr page. There is literally nothing but photos I've taken via Instagram on there, and I am by no means artistic - I just like some of the pictures I take.
You can also visit my Last.fm page to see what I've been listening to while banging around the house. If you think the Musical Monday section is a very random mix of tracks, you ain't seen nothin' yet!!
And if you have eyes, you will also see that you can find me on Facebook (as well as the blog having its own page) and I randomly appear on Twitter just to moan or whatever.
Lastly, a common question I get is "How do I comment on your posts?" On the top of each post, there is a little speech-bubble icon with a number beside it. Click that number to enter "Comments" and away you go!
Name: Dan English
