Just Me..

I imagine the few of you that still read my blog are the ones that haven't clicked "block" or "hide" or "mute" or whatever else on my social media profiles of late. And believe me, I know exactly how I sound a lot of the time... When it's not random stuff, it's me, moaning and fed up about, well, me.

And this post is not much different.

Once again, I'm struggling to sleep very much. And this is with medication to help me sleep. I've been put back onto Amytriptyline which I hate, as past experience has proven it makes me exhausted and spacey. Well, not this time. I took a tablet at 10pm,and another at half past midnight. It's now a quarter to two in the morning and I'm still awake.

This time I suspect it's due to a hardcore 24-hour migraine that hit me Monday lunch time. I flaked on the sofa, thinking a nap would make it bugger off, but no... At half five that evening I went to bed, and woke up again at 3am. Then 10am. Then midday. And 2pm...

I got out of bed at seven this evening, had something to eat, and went back to bed at ten. I feel shit even now... Still have a headache, and now I feel bunged up...

On top of this (seriously, I know...) I've got a bloody tooth ache. Thanks to a dentist visit which was filled with needles and drilling to prepare a tooth for a crown, as the filling in it was too big apparently... My tooth wasn't hurting BEFORE, but it is now.

I'm so sick of this. All this. Me feeling crap all the time and not sleeping. Me feeling crap physically and mentally. My body hurting or being exhausted, my brain being filled with crap and worries...

I ended up being discharged from care under the Pain Management Service, thanks to my piece of shit brain. I had an appointment, which I remembered wrong, checked the appointment letter which I read wrong, and ended up going to the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong day. So as I classed as a "No show" they discharged me. Back to square one, waiting for a re-referral. My brain sucks, I hate that it is so unreliable.

I CAN count on it to be paranoid. To over-think everything. To imagine the worst in every situation. To wind me up, stress me out and drag me down. I wish I had a period of quiet time, to chill out, recharge, run at my own pace and do my own thing. Every day just seems to be filled with STUFF and I struggle to keep up with it, so the next day has more STUFF, so I struggle more...

And on and on and over and over.

I'm tired, I don't feel well, and generally am sick of feeling and even looking the way I do. I'm sick of people telling me that "positive thinking" will cure me. I'm sick of people asking how am I as a way for them to tell me what's wrong with them without even acknowledging my reply. I usually just say "I'm OK" now, as people don't want to hear me detailing how my body feels trampled. I'm fed up being the one that has to message first to start a conversation, let alone writing long messages to people that only get an "ok" reply three hours later, or even better, no reply at all.

I probably sound like a whiny, moping brat to some of you, and that's fine... This being my blog and all. I just wish people understood how I feel 95% of the time. You don't even have to care that I feel like crap - just understand that I do.

I'm sure I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm just fed up of trying to make people get that I feel like complete crap most of the time. If you still don't get it or care, then I'm pretty sure you never will. And that's fine too - just don't roll your eyes and sigh when I moan about it here or anywhere else.

Life Is Manic

If you pay attention to some people on the Internet, you will see their online presence ebbs and flows like a tide. The more astute of you will know why, whereas some people - ie, me - don't tend to tell the world they are ebbing nor why.

Let me start over. As a few of you have noticed, the online presence of yours truly has been somewhat lacking over the last few weeks. And the main reason for this is... er... Well, just life I suppose.

Life in this house, that is.

Nothing is ever easy, nothing is ever straight forward, but things seem to be on an upward swing. And, if you pardon moi francais, it's about fucking time.

You will see from recent posts, with the exception of "Interesting News" (Drunk Driver), or celebratory news (Mothers Day and Tamsyns' Birthday) the general posts have been me feeling ill, or in pain, or some variation of a combination.

Well, I'm pissed to say, things didn't actually get much better. So last week, drunk driver disturbs my pain/headache induced sleep. I spend the next few days alternating between poorly and properly poorly. The kids came home Wednesday, and at that point, I was fighting off yet ANOTHER migraine.

Yes, I get them a lot. No, I don't know why. Nor does the doc. Stress? Maybe. Tiredness? Possibly. Just random occurrences thanks to my physiology being crap? Most likely.

So, Wednesday, Tamsyns birthday, she wants Chinese, so we get Chinese. Om nom nommy. Being that my head is splitting, not long after putting the squids to bed, I too go to bed.

And have a full-on crap night.

Now this might sound really silly, but on Monday or Tuesday, I bit my tongue. Hard. Proper grinding teeth through the side of the tongue. Ow. Over the next few days, it got VERY sore, I was using salt, cool stuff, warm stuff - I could hardly eat and even had to take out my tongue bar.

So back to Wednesday night - I had a really bad night, tossing and turning, my tongue was agony. I hardly slept. Just like old times in fact.

Thursday I felt proper rubbish. For one, I was sleep deprived, Two, my head was still trying to tear itself inside out. Three, my tongue was hurting, and finally, Four, I was in lots of pain. But, being me, I soldier on.

Thursday night, I stay up till midnight, get up at six Friday morning, and rolling out of bed, I feel horrible. Burning temperature, head screaming, tongue on fire. Kellie goes to work and isn't coming back till Saturday morning, so me and four kids. I manage the first school run, bumble into town and buy a few odds and ends, get home, put stuff away and flop out on the sofa. I sleep from about 11am till 2pm, and do the second school run. Of course, the sun is brilliant, the sky is perfectly clear - it's a lovely spring day.

At least, it would be if I wasn't trying to hold myself together from staggering, crying, puking or just sitting in the corner...

Tam and I get home, the boys follow soon after, and Mo turns up not long after that. I, however, can hardly move. I manage to give Jaysen my wallet and tell him to get fish and chips for the kids, and I proceed to pass out on the sofa.

And I do mean "Pass Out" I have no recollection of laying down, of Jaysen getting back in, of the kids having dinner... The next thing I know, my "Take your meds!" alarm is going off and I wake up to a cold dark house at 7pm.

Thankfully, the kids are all upstairs in their rooms - the girls watching DVDs and playing, the boys doing whatever boys do when zombied out on the pretty box with lights. I get the girls to bed with a film each, instruct the boys to sort themselves out, but don't be up till late. It's just after seven, I'm going to bed.

Kellie has had a long day at work. Because of the nature of her company (Asbestos) they have to be accredited by a professional body, and they have been in for two weeks. Friday, they were done, so the office went out to party hearty, so Kellie went back to Canvey with Kerry and they went out from there, and finished up there later that night. I had been texting her on and off all evening, but despite her saying "I'll come home if you need me!" I had no intention of dragging her away.

19:15 that evening, from the edge of our bed, I text her to tell her how rough I am feeling, that I feel like I am going to be sick at any minute, and am going to bed. I let her know the kids are all OK and sorted out. 19:20 I managed to take my painkillers and anti-migraine-meds (which have done jack-shit so far, but you know...) and fall backwards onto the bed, trying to work out how to take my socks of. 19:25 that evening, my head is in a bowl and I am being sick.

I should point out, I do NOT like being sick. Not just "I dislike it" but I really hate it. My body goes for the full gusto of tears and snot and nasal blockages... But the sound I make... It's like a bear being stabbed in the butt-hole with a burning poker, while simultaneously being punched in the throat. To date, Kellie has not had the pleasure, but the kids have... Jaysen has dealt with it on many occasions, and has helped me off the toilet floor in the past.

So, at the sound of the bear being physically abused, Molly comes running - her room is beside ours - and she wants to know what she can do. I can barely think straight, have a cup-a-soup making a repeat showing (with croutons!) and my body is retching like it's the new black.

Molly calls the boys, who come running; Dom armed with a glass of water, Jaysen armed with a loo roll.

Now, I KNOW I only had one cup-a-soup. One. So how did I fill nearly a whole bowl?! Baffling.

But I swill the water, blow my nose, dry my eyes, and the boys help me to the bathroom. I deposit my bodily fluids down the toilet, Jaysen washes my bowl out, and I brush my teeth and clear the "Nasal Blockage"

It smelt like crouton, but didn't look like it.

I am then helped back to bed, mutter about settling Molly, thank the three of them and... Well, I'm not sure what else. I woke up at 03:20, on the wrong side of the bed, with one arm inside my tee shirt. I seem to recall trying to take it off when I got back into bed, and seem to remember laying down in a huff, but that is how I stayed for seven hours. I hadn't moved, rolled over, adjusted the covers, nothing. Proper passing out once again.

I note that while my head is still sore, it's not about to explode. As strange as this might sound, being sick is usually the best remedy for a migraine. I also noted the main "symptom" of my migraines - that is, the constant smell of shit - had gone. I noticed a message from Kellie on the phone telling me if I am poorly she will come home, but I am glad I didn't call her and mess up her evening. She wouldn't have been able to do anything, I wasn't dead nor dying, she would have just had to run away from me puking, and then patted my unconscious body.

Fun!

So, Saturday morning dawns bright, sunny and... Hmmm... Tummy ache. The headache is "just" a headache now, but my tummy feels funny. I can only assume it's from the retching and doubling over being sick.

Thirty seconds later, I decide I need to go to the loo.

Exit stage downwards.

An hour later, Kellie texts - she too has an upset stomach. Great. Not long after that, she gets home, and we both feel rough, but luckily for us, the kids see we're both poorly and hide out. The girls play out, the boys do their zombies-in-the-bedroom thing.

Kellie and I alternate between the toilet all day, not eating, just drinking lots of water. At about three, we risked a bag of crisps, and wonder of wonders, they made us feel better... So we opt for a high-carb dinner of Fish & Chips.

An hour later, I feel right as rain. Still have a muzzy head, but meh. Kellie, however, is still poorly. She's hot, then cold, shivering, then sweating, aches and pains and all sorts of sore bits and hurting bits. She spends the evening alternating between snoring on the sofa, and reading her Kindle. I sort the kids and play WoW for a little bit.

So today. Today I wake up, no headache, no tummy ache, no need for running to the loo, nothing. Kellie dawns bright and bleeeeergh. She is not a well girl. Were she snotty and coughing, I'd pin it on a flu bug (not ManFlu, obviously) but she is not healthy. As seems to be the case when Kellie is ill, I convince the kids today is a good day to exit the house, and we do just that and head over to the lakes. For several hours we wander around, watch the newts in the pond, annoy the geese, piss off the fishermen, skim stone, and play in a stream.

With a leech. But that's another story.

After several hours well spent, we trudge home - wet and muddy - get changed, then I have to take Jaysen & Tamsyn back to their mums, so the three of us trudge across Basildon, I drop them off, then I trudge back again, via the shop for bread. I get home and am DEAD. I have felt like hell all week, but now I am back to my usual Hellish Nightmare Of Pain. Legs, back, arms, hands... No, I don't like the pain, but at least these pains I am used to.

This evening, we got Dominic & Molly to bed early, and finally, after a shitty hell of a week, Kellie and I got to sit together quietly and watch a film. She's still poorly, still insistent she's going to work tomorrow, but she's spent most of today alternating between sleep, feeling sick, feeling rough and, er... No, that covers it actually...

So there we have it. At the risk of putting the mockers on it, I have no headache and my tongue is better. This evening is just my usual pain and hurty bits and aches - which means tomorrow I will feel like crap, but it's controllable crap. Even if Monday IS a shitty busy day.

There are more posts to follow - I was going to catch up with everything in this one post, but decided it was already too long, rambling and puke-filled.

Yes, I am alive (again or still...) and hopefully the crappy stuff of the last few weeks will finally do one.

I'm Not Dead*

You may be forgiven for thinking that your favourite blogger has fallen down a deep dark well and shuffled along to a slightly warmer, more lava-and-demon-filled existence, but you would be wrong.

That is not to say, of course, that I feel like I've been splattered at the bottom of aforementioned Deep Dark Well. This week has been, for want of a better word, shit. Nothing in particular has happened, but physically - and as a knock-on effect, mentally - I've been a bit crappy.

Sunday, my last post, I had had a busy week, over-done it and was suffering. If Sunday I felt like death, by Monday lunchtime, I had died, been risen in a voodoo ritual, and then stomped to buggery. I could barely function, my brain was doing it's own thing, I had a bastard of a migraine brewing, and it was all I could do to have a sandwich at lunch.

I'm never off my food.

By the evening, Kellie gets in and sends me to bed. 7.15pm, I am told to go to bed and to stay there. I lay down, feeling like hell, but fully expecting to not sleep. I don't remember much. I woke up at half ten the following morning.  I still felt crap, and my head was still splitting, but fifteen and a bit hours of sleep had improved me a little.

However, by Tuesday evening, my head was ripping itself in two, but with Kellie off at her mums again due to the continuation of the re-plastering, I put the kids to bed early, and then I went to bed to chill out and read.

Wednesday morning I felt horrible again, migraine still in full effect, shipped the kids off to school, and stayed on the sofa. I managed to do some laundry, and I managed to get some housework done, but ultimately, I stayed put. By the time Dom & Molly were in from school, and Tam & Jaysen were bought home, I could hardly walk and talk. I managed to give one of them some money to get dinner from the chip shop, and I passed out on the sofa.

Next thing I know, it's half six and Kellie is home. My head is a little better, but it turns out Kellie has a blinding headache too... Very strange... We've both felt on and off the last few days, so can only assume it's a virus or something that is making us feel worse than usual.

Thursday I was still a bit fuzzy headed, but by Friday, the pain was gone.

Thank f$ck.

Physically, I am still hurting and properly tired. All-over-properly-tired, but I've been doing my best to push through it. I popped into town yesterday to get five items, but ended up meandering around like a leaf on the wind for an hour. There were lots of noisy people, all pushing and barging, and I couldn't concentrate on going from A to B, so was out for ages and knackered myself.

And now, tonight/this morning, my body clock is being a bastard. We went to bed just after midnight, but then I woke up just before three after shitty dreams. I couldn't get back to sleep, so half an hour later, I am on the sofa reading for half an hour... I go back to bed, still can't sleep, so half an hour later, I am dressed and back downstairs.

We've a busy few days ahead of us now, so hopefully I will continue to function... Hopefully!


*Yet

Migraines...

I am a migraine suffer.  Most people know this, some have even seen me when I am suffering.  For the last couple of years, I've noticed they've been somewhat less and less, but in recent months, they are definitely making a come-back.

Usually I know when they are coming on - sometimes I can have a couple of days notice.  I can feel them building, and the sure-fire way to tell, is the stench that my brain tells me I am smelling.  Excrement, no less.  The aroma of shite.  THAT'S how I know they are coming.

Yesterday afternoon, I kept catching the smell, and despite knowing what it was, I still tried looking for the source.  Both kids confirmed there was no gross smell in the room - nor in every room I walked into.  I drank a load of water just in case it was a touch of being dehydrated, and went to bed hoping that it's pass over night.

It didn't.

I woke up this morning with the left side of my brain feeling like it was trying to push out the side of my skull.  Great, I thought.  I was hoping to take the kids up to Langdon Hills for the day, but that plan soon evaporated.  Luckily, I'd not told the kids we were going out - I told them today was a lazy day.

I tried to focus on other things, listening to music, watching a DVD with Tam, but it built and built until the sweats and the shakes started.  I resorted to my Sumatriptain, my anti-migraine medication, but it didn't even remove the nausea.  I felt like hell.

I took a couple of Paracetamol & Codeine, and flopped on the sofa, where I promptly passed out.  The kids have seen me like this before, I told Jaysen what was going on, and he put on his "I'm In Charge" mantle.

An hour later, I was in the loo being sick as a dog.  It was all I could do to walk back into the lounge, collapse on the sofa and pass out again.

Next thing I know, it's nearly four in the afternoon, the kids are sat eating Ham Sandwiches and watching a DVD.  The headache is still there, but now it's just a headache and nothing else.  My stomach feels all hollow from being sick, and I feel quite woozy from having not eaten today, but the thought of food is not that appealing at the moment.  Both kids are so good for me when I'm poorly.  They're quite, they don't run around shouting, they don't do noisy things, they literally sit near me and entertain themselves.

Though, I HAVE noticed a pile of glitter on the back door step... Wonder where else it might be!

So, that's my fun-packed day so far.  If anyone knows of any decent meds to fight migraines, I am open to suggestions.  I've been on Sumatriptain which should stop them building, and if not, they should reduce the effects.  No joy with them any more.  I've been on Atenolol which is a blood pressure medicine, which is to try stop them happening altogether, but still no joy.  Paracetamol & Codeine (Cocodamol) don't really do a lot either, but then, they're for my back and legs.

Suggestions please!

Under The Weather

This week, I have mostly been feeling sorry for myself, but not in a wallowing "Woe Is Me" way (for once ;) ) but more a "Bleeeergh" kind of way.

Tuesday evening a headache landed plonk firmly in my lap.  Not the worst thing I've ever dealt with, but still.  I assumed it's be gone by the time I rolled out of bed Wednesday, but alas, I was wrong.

All day Wednesday it lingered.  Wednesday night/Thursday morning it hung around, keeping me awake and I'm sure triggering some very strange and yucky dreams.  It wasn't quite as bad as the previous day, but I still felt like crap.  Friday it was still a bit less, but again still remained - and here, Friday night, it's still here.

Drugs haven't really done a lot, I even resorted to my Migraine meds.

The downside to it (not that headaches actually HAVE an upside) is that I've not had much sleep, so I am shattered too.  All good then!

In other news... Erm, well considering I've been feeling rather rough this week, there isn't really much to tell.  My cinnamon buns seem to have been a hit with everyone, so next week I might make some more.  Get me the bits for it, and I'll make you some too :D  I love to cook, but haven't done it properly in a long long time, but since being with Kellie and watching her cook (and seemingly able to create meals with nothing more than some fluff, something from the fridge, and whatever that herb/spice is in her cupboard!) has given me the urge to play about in the kitchen once more.

For those that were asking, the recipe I used for the buns I stumbled across at This Site, so go take a peek and have a bash.  They are soooo bad for you it's astounding, but then, the nice stuff always is ;)

I'm sure there was something else I was going to discuss... But my head is firing off randomly - so another time then :D

Marvellous

I stood up and could smell hot plastic. A quick glance around showed the TV was on and fine, my laptop was on and fine, Jo was using her computer... I looked at my monitor and it was off - which is strange. Then I noticed the power light was flashing - which usually means No Signal.

The computer was ON, but no signal. Forced shutdown, fiddled with graphics card - still dead.

I've got such a headache I just cannot deal with it at the time being, but I have a suspicion something has died on a massive scale. Ho hum. Fingers crossed I can repair it, otherwise, it's laptop only for me.

For The Record #432

Waking up with a stonking headache is not a good way to start the day.
Still, sunglasses are hip and happening. Apparently.


-Posting from a mobile...

In The Wee Small Hours...

Earlier today, my head started doing it's thing. That strange tingling sensation when - unlike Spidermans Spidey Sense alerting him to danger - mine alerts me to an incoming Migraine. Added to that, my constant *sniff sniff* "You smell that?" was a pretty good give away.

I managed to fend it off mostly in order to be both social with Lane, and to do the school run. Around five, I nodded off on the sofa, was woken up by everyone telling me it was dinner time, picked my way through dinner feeling more and more icky, only to find myself waking up in bed at about half one this morning. Apparently, I flaked on the sofa again and was put to bed.

The headache is still there, but no where near as bad as it was, but of course, after dozing/flaking for several hours, I'm wide awake. I tried laying in bed for a couple of hours thinking I'd nod off, but something was bothering me. I could not for the life of me place it.

So I set to prowling through the house. Had a moment of panic when I couldn't see Tam in her room, but she had turned around and shifted to the other end of the bed. Restarted her Spongebob DVD, turned it down, checked on the boy. He was curled up fast asleep - uncovered and shivering - on one of his Horrid Henry books. Covered him, removed book, turned his music down.

Checked the middle floor. Rats needed some water, so refilled their bottles. Various bits of crockery; glasses, cups, bowls, cutlery all around the lounge, so collected that all up and took it down stairs. Plonked it in the kitchen - which was a state - emptied the tumbler, reloaded it, filled the washing machine. Still, something felt wrong. Garden was empty. Front door.

NOT SHUT.

Now, it wasn't open a huge amount, and passing by the house in the dark, it might have appeared to just be a shadow instead of open. But none the less, the front door was ajar.

So, now it's 4am and I've cleaned up the kitchen, put away the drying up, put things in to soak, tidied up the front room, messed around a bit on WoW, and as they are doing a server restart, I figured I would blog.

And I am wide awake, with a head ache, feeling a twinge of paranoia at the what-if's.

Still - I knew there was something wrong...

Bleeeergh...

It has to be said, Boys Weekend is off to a less-than-auspicious start. For dinner, I created the culinary masterpiece of "Microwave Sweet and Sour" for Jaysen, and "Microwave Duck in Ho Sin Sauce" for yours truly. While the little mans dinner was cooking, it smelt marvellous. I love chinese food at the best of times, and I love duck, but his Sweet and Sour smelled glorious.

While mine was cooking, I wondered for a moment if I was microwaving the cats toilet. OK, it probably didn't smell that bad, but none the less, it wasn't a "oooh I can't wait to eat that" smell.

So I cook it, serve it and think "doesn't look as good as Jaysens" but, none the less, I take my plate and my manly glass of milk upstairs and sit at my desk eating. Jaysen inhaled his dinner and said how nice it was.

Mine wasn't quite that good. The rice was almost powdery. The duck was full of bone, gristle and "bits" and tasted like microwaved ass. Whatever that tastes like, but I think it was a pretty good approximation. I managed to "eat" just under half of it before giving up. I complained to the management, but he didn't listen.

Sally enjoyed it, after I picked out the rest of the boney bits.

An hour or so later, from nowhere, a migraine arrived. If I didn't know better, I was being house-invaded and was smacked in the head with a lump of solid matter. It literally came on from nowhere. Ugh. So, shit dinner, and now I felt like hell. I flopped on the sofa, told Jaysen "bed in half an hour" and stayed there trying to remain Conscious and... well, actually, that was my only goal. I got myself some water and had a sip here and there.

Jaysen was great - he let Sally out for her bedtime pee, locked the back door, turned off the lights, and went to bed. I was minutes behind for bed. When Jo is away, he sleeps in our bed with me, and was reading. As I stumbled into the room, he apologised for the light being on (he was reading) and clicked it off for me, and I collapsed into bed, pillow on my head, brain feeling like it's trying to push its way out my eyeball.

An hour later, the crappy duck and rice put in a repeat performance, only in reverse as my migraine dragged me from bed, put my head in the toilet, and emptied out the rubbish dinner. Better out than in I suppose.

And it didn't smell much different either ;)

The headache subsided drastically after that, I had some more water, was able to check my mail, and finally flopped into bed and slept, finally falling out of bed just after half nine this morning. The head is fine this morning - fuzzy from meds, and a dull ache inside which is nothing in comparison, so I'm officially restarting Boys Weekend with a bowl of porridge.

And hurrah for Saturday Morning blogposts containing vomit! At least it wasn't booze-orientated vomit I suppose!

Busy Bee

In the true styles of a certain lasagne-eating cat, yesterday was a constant crapfest. I had to face the town, so the less said about that the better for all. We didn't get back in till gone half two in the afternoon, which gave me 15 minutes to put shopping away, grab something to eat (a doughnut), and then run out again into the Arctic Wilds of Basildonia to grab the boy from school.

The house is a tip, we've got Cel stealing out laundry so we don't run out of the necessities - I mean, do you WANT me walking around naked, plus we're trying to deal with Xmas and everything else. Joy.

In other news, Jo's foot is now officially on the mend and she can walk about without much hassle. On the other hand, while she was at the erotica show on Sunday, there was a woman looking for volunteers to demonstrate a new tongue-piercing technique. Guess who now also has a hole in their tongue.

Some people just can't think of their own trend to follow.

Where her tongue is a little swollen she sounds like she has a bit of a lisp, but on the bright side, it's making her form her words properly so she doesn't sound like a common old trout for once. She sounds like a real Essex Girl most days, but for the time being, she is actually pronouncing words correctly.

And last night, in celebration of Lane getting a new job, the girls went out to Bas Vegas and partied. Which left me with the moody kids. Again. *huff*

Once again, I had issues coming up with a Musical Monday song, but I hope to fix that shortly with a bit of creative date editing and posting something. He says, hopefully.

Aside from all that, I've been dodging a migraine for the last few days - it keeps looming behind my eye, and I pop enough pills to push it back, but I can feel it building a while later. I think I might let the bastard just come out, get it over with...

The Sofa

It's nearly midnight here in Chez 0ddness, and yet, here I am, pissing around on my blog. The reason is simple - I am on the sofa tonight.

Thankfully, I hasten to add, it's not one of those "YOU can sleep on the sofa tonight" instances, but me, being the perfect gent that I am, have given up my bed for our friend Lane.

Yes, there are two women in my bed tonight... But I am still the gentleman here ;)

Lane is having what you might want to term "A Bloody Awful Time", and has spent the day here alternating between crying, laughing, chasing the kids, and chilling out. She even got to see Migraine Dan pass out on the sofa and bury himself under a stack of sleeping bags. She's been through a lot in the last few months, and it's all coming out on our shoulders.

She's also the person that "helped" me get our replacement washing machine in. She's even started to blog a bit, I've added her to the blogroll. Her blog is Phoenix Is... so poodle on over and say howdy.

In other news, well, we've got a replacement washing machine after our other one was repossessed. We got a letter today telling us it was going to be taken. Great, well done - would have been handy a week ago.

My arm is sore and bruised from the Needle of Doom.

I've had a bitch of a headache for the last couple of days.

Hellgate London is an excellent computer game. I've been waiting two or three years for this game, and it was worth the wait. Swords, guns, demons, undead - great stuff.

Firefly still kicks ass. Anyone that didn't enjoy what there was made of that show should be pushed out of their country and sent to somewhere strange. Like Australia.

Anyways, I am sooo glad tomorrow is Friday. No doubt it will be spent doing the worlds supply of washing up and clearing up generic chaos. I might even post the rest of my Whinefest ;)

So, with a Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers (who are no doubt doing family stuff and far too busy to read blogs, I'm going to try and fall asleep.

Edit: Oh, the template. So, it turns out that the problem is to do with new code being viewed on out of date software. You need to upgrade to IE7 or Firefox in order for the poor little sidebar to appear in the right place. I tested it on an old computer a couple of days back and see the problem, upgraded to Firefox and it was fine. Otherwise, just grin, bear it, and wait for the next template rehash ;)

Da Flu

Don't you hate it when sneezes become a cold, a cold becomes the flu, the Flu becomes ManFlu, and then - THEN - it has the audacity to develop into the dark pits of Migraineville. I've felt rough as crap all week, and Thursday I woke up with "that smell" that usually says Mr Migraine is coming for a visit. I spent Thursday and Friday pretty much out cold in bed, not getting up till the crack of 3pm.

On top of this, Jaysen has had a stinking cold, and Jo has been complaining about her foot or something. I think she's still trying to milk that particular sympathy cow, but alas, Mr Dan has been too ill to notice. Lucky for us, one of our friends have been waiting on us hand and foot (heh) so it's not been too hellish. And think of me what you will, but Cel is (to use the P.C term) "a member of an ethnic group", or (to not be P.C), she's black. And I give her such a hard time. So to have Cel cooking dinner or cleaning up, I get to make comments about her needing her chains, or to shine my shoes. She knows it's all in good fun, and she'll play along too. Especially in public which cracks me up. At one birthday party or another, my family was over, and I introduced her as my personal housekeeper.

Yeah, I'm a bastard.

Anyway. Mr Tim, I've tested the template in IE and FF, and it seems to work fine and dandy, and you are the only person with an issue (I think)... Perhaps come to the new age and use IE7? And the link bar across the top is indeed part of the template. I think the site I use (which is in another language!) convert WordPress templates to Blogger.

So, with my germs on the way out finally - we're back down to Defcon Stinking Cold - I'm hoping things are going to get back to normal. Ish. Whatever normal is in this house.

Oh, and in my search for a post image, I tried "ManFlu Virus" as a search string in Google Images. Amazingly, it provided one porn site, and, well, take a look - third row, third image...

Clicken to Embiggen, but there we have it, an image of the ManFlu virus. And for those that don't know what I'm talking about, click here.

Oh, edit because I forgot - congrats to those of you that twigged the header image on the blog is "Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll". Took me minutes to make it ;)

Germs and Life

So, last week I got poorly. It started in my nose and spread from there, making me feel, well, icky as hell. My nose was blocked but running green, by eyes were bulging and watering, I ached and felt like crap. I carried on as best I could, but otherwise just sort of curled on the sofa feeling sorry for myself.

No, this wasn't ManFlu - that is a much worse disorder. This was just a cold, and I did stuff around the house and what have you. Of course, in the process, I managed to give it to Jo who is now dealing with her ManFlu. She's such a wimp ;)

So, aside from feeling grotty all week, I've been really tired, and the weekend with Emmas news, I've been kind of deflated the last few days. I've been keeping busy and trying to keep the head occupied, but it's not working the whole time. I just wish I could give Emma a big hug, tell her it'll be ok.

And since last night, my head has started pounding. Great.

GAH!

I'm in town, tired, aching and still fighting off a headache, but i SWEAR if one more pensioner pushes me, bumps over my foot or glares at me for playing with Tam...... Suffice to say, I will become famous and be splashed on every paper in the country!

Head From Hell

Now, yesterday can officially be put down as a Really Shit Day. It wasn't bad enough that every part of my body hurt, but around lunchtime, I started smelling things. Icky, nasty things that no one else could smell.

I had a migraine coming.

Now, sometimes it gets to the stinky-smell stage and hangs there or fades. However, yesterday, it rapidly went from stinky-smell stage into headache stage. And it built rapidly from there. By four in the afternoon, everything was too bright, everything was too loud, and I felt like shit.

Skip forwards to 11pm, and I'm laying in bed, headache still building, nothing touching it, and it progressed to the "being sick2 stage which I hate. After half an hour of being ill, I somehow stumbled into the lounge and collapsed on the sofa. No pillow, no covers, I just flaked. 6am, I wake up, no headache, back screaming, and made it back into bed.

Half one this afternoon I manage to wake up and get up. No headache, just lots of back and leg pain. But that I can deal with - I'm back on the sofa, armed with laptop and kids TV. I've even put the webcam on!

Thankfully, it was last night I felt rough - tonight, Jo's mum has the kids, and we're going to Ruths to have a boozey evening.

Yay to be adults for a change!

Edit: I think I'm being a bit thick, but I can't get my webcam to connect to the web on my main PC, so no cam :)

Oopsie

So, the journey here wasn't too bad - most connections were straight there and no faffing, no delays. There was a security alert one station from us, but it was fine and dandy and nothing came of it.

We spent the afternoon sitting and chatting and having a real laugh and talking about everything. We had a near-perfect lasagne for dinner and carried on chatting into the night. Rolling onto 9pm my head felt funny, then crappy, then bad, then just plain awful. Finally, just after 11pm it developed into a full-blown migraine. It was awful, and I ended up having an early night, being a complete party pooper.

Booo!

Anyways, I crawled out of bed just after five and have sat here playing WoW with them! And - shock horror - Jo is up before 8am!

Hell Hath Frozen Over!

OK, OK, I'm Here!

If there is one way to get me to post on my blog, it's to pester me. And a few of you have pestered me, so here I be. On the bright side, nothing particaully bad has kept me away, just what I define as "stuff".

First off, the ManFlu/Flu-Monia has been and gone, and while me and Jo are dealing with the tail end of it, we can breathe through noses and roll over in bed without gloop inside shifting around. The kids escaped it too, so it's a win for us.

Next on the menu is the "Dan Nearly Killed Himself" section. As mentioned before I have a citrus allergy, mostly to lemons. I can use bottled lemon juice if it's a low concentration, but otherwise, it's nasty stuff. So last week, we're eating pancakes and I am merrily slapping around the lemon juice when I kept clearing my throat, then cough a bit, then choke, then Jo started running around. My neck and throat ballooned, breathing was a mission, and she had to pour antihistamines down my throat. It took a few minutes, but did the job. Of course, coughing with enough force to hack my lungs up was very painful on my back, and then a migraine kicked in from nowhere.

On the back front (er, huh!) I've had several days of a lot of pain, it's been horrible. I've actually been skipping wearing socks as I just can't get down there. And on the migrane front, I've done my month supply of pills in just over a fortnight. Guess I need to try another sort!

And to add to the "Doom and Gloom" - Jo's monthly visitor has arrived, so I am typing this from my nuclear fallout bunker.

It has, however, been half-term this week, so Jaysen has been off school. Of course, Monday morning, Jo's mum picked him up so he could stay the night there, and he come home Saturday afternoon.

And the best news of all is better explained via a single photo.

Yes, that is Tam, and yes, that is Tam using the toilet. She's pretty much potty trained now, but refuses to use an actual potty. No no, everyone else uses the loo, so she has to use the loo. It's taken us a grand total of... Ten Days. Ten days to potty train an ickle girl that isn't even two yet. Go Tam.

Everything here is pretty much quiet though, and with it being this time of the year, we're tending to ignore most things (such as blogs) while we work on the whole "keeping busy" thing. No doubt I will post on Wednesday, as that is the anniversary of losing Bethy, but the last couple of weeks have been filled with dates that send us back. Not fun.

Lastly - Early Valentines Day worked fine ;) I decided not to celebrate it on the 14th as it's another of THOSE days, so we did it early. Have some pressies dear, yes yes, there you go. Now shush. hehe

Oooh My Head

Here's how out of it I've been of late... Bear in mind I usually post when something even as far from interesting as you get happens, I've missed a few key moments of late.

The Weather:
Yes, England had snow, and while the north got a fair few inches, the rest of us got a mere dusting. Once again, in True Brit fashion, the country ground to a halt. Cars abandoned, roads closed, train services and airlines not running... Oh, and all spread across the front pages of everything. It didn't even stay on the ground for more than 36 hours!

The Telly:
Celeb Big Brother and it's racism row. I don't watch it at the best of times, let alone when it's the celeb version. But it's all that the press has been squealing about of late. Bless.

Tamsyn:
Has used the potty. Has also started coming out with occasional words that you can hear mixed in with the babble-blabble.

Me:
Got a call last week from the surgery - seems the optician was worried about my constant headaches and very-regular migraines, and wanted me referred to the Neurological Unit in Hospital. Yikes. Doctor wanted to see me first, see what was what, and I went today...

Lovely woman, filling in for my current doctor who is on suspension for "Out of date practices". Woot. Anyway, I went into great detail about my headaches, how they start, how they go, how they last, what happens, etc etc. Seems I have a extra-high rate of Migraine with Aura, and we're starting on yet another kind of medication that could help, and if not, we try another, then another, and maybe a preventative instead of a curative. All very interesting stuff, and has answered a lot of questions, especially the "Aura" part, which are something else that comes along as sort of a warning sign.

So I can rest easy and not worry about what's happening inside my noggin. Now when I get a Migraine, I have to pop a Sumatriptan tablet, and if it doesn't help, another 2 hours later. If that doesn't help, tough - no more for 24 hours!

Jo had another meeting with her bereavement councillor this morning and I was there with her, sort of out the way while I read the info on my head. Woman is lovely, and after a while, she started chatting to me. I felt like I was intruding, but both Jo and her were happy for me to be there. I spoke about some stuff, and we discussed a few bits and bobs that seem to make sense, but I will leave that to Jo to post about. Needless to say, we spoke about some more hard stuff once again, but I can understand what she was talking about.

And lastly - I've been saving up all the Meme thingies from the last month to hit out in one fel-swoop. While Christine has done one, Cass has been a busy (bored!) little bunny and done a load. So the post after this one is VERY long winded!

And as a side note, has it ever occured to anyone that these Meme things could be used for nefarious deeds, such as burglary or identity theft? If you read enough from one person, you can put together a pretty good picture of hours they keep, where they go and who they are with, personal family information, what you have of value, important dates and anniversaries...

Or is that just my paranoia striking? Give it a thought ;)

Just, Stuff

Holy crap is this week dragging... Is it really only Tuesday? Pah.

Anyway - had my eyes tested yesterday as my doc thinks these constant headaches and weekly migraines are due to my glasses not being strong enough. It's true, without that I can't see much at all, and with them things are still a bit fuzzy. The optician was very nice yesterday and very thorough, eye test, retina scan, also checked to see if there was any underlying problem that could be causing the headaches. All seemed OK, aside from something odd in my left eye that I've heard about before.

Several years ago, and again yesterday, I was asked about surgery on my left eye, as at the back, this chap and the one before both saw what they consider to be "surgical scarring" on my retina (the bit at the back). I don't recall ever having surgery or even injuring an eye. I called my mum, and she said all she can think of is an episode of Dan-Down-The-Stairs when I was three, and had a black eye for several weeks. But no idea really.

I collect two pairs of glasses tomorrow - normal and sunglasses. Both are very nice and kinda wide rectangles, but hard to explain. £75 a pair, extra for tinting and so on - but because I am partially broken, we get a discount! Yay!

Been pretty busy the last couple of days and the nights have been strange - Tam is once again refusing to sleep, and is up till stupid time in the early hours - she was pissing around till 1am this morning, 3am the night before, so me and Jo are knackered.

Been watching movies again to pass the time as everything seems pretty quiet of late. Fellowship of the Ring again, Payback again, Shanghai Noon again, Gone in Sixty Seconds again... All good movies. We also watched Kingdom of Heaven night before last, and while it was a good epic-on-a-large scale movie, it kinda jumped and farted around. Not bad, but not up there with Gladiator.

And as for the popup issue that people are reporting, I've found the culprit. The Cbox has a popup clause for it's free boxes, but will only serve one per person, per day. I'm looking for a way around it, but might change the software to something else. Again, if I hosted my own page, it'd be easier.

Tim, to answer your question - the counter covers hits, not individuals :)

So, another day, another school run. Not sure if I am going to have a gossip again this morning like I do most mornings - if not, I'll be back in a couple of hours to irritate the world!

Headache

OK, not funny. After messing around on WoW for something to happen - the only person that was talking to me had to go for a while - my head decided to start pounding. I'm not going to call it a migraine as I hate that word - people use it all the time without knowing what one is.

But anyways, I'm going back to bed. Cam is on for the world to see. Later