Words of Wisdom

Tagged: A Wad of Questions

1) Are you involved with anyone?
Nope. I got dumped dontchaknow

2) Would you take an ex back?
heh, nope. I have some very interesting ex's too.

3) Where do you wish you were right now?
5.47am after a rubbish night. You can guess.

4) What could you not go without during the day?
Texting people ;)

5) Would you share a drink with a stranger?
Depends on the stranger and the drink.

6) Have you ever lied about something important to your boyfriend / girlfriend?
Nope - I've always been very honest

7) Would you rather be in a serious relationship or play the field?
Me, "Play The Field" pffft... I'd struggle even if the Blind Desperate Housewives were in town ;)

8) How long ago did you hug someone?
About 12 hours ago

9) Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
Of course!

10) Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
I don't think I've ever lived anywhere that there are telephone wires available for shoe-throwing.

11) What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Oh shit just realised the time. I really hope that I didn't wake u up. I 4got the time & think coz im awake everyone is. Sorry, forgive me Xx"

12) Need to get something off your chest?
Just a few things, but not here...

13) How do you feel about your life right now?
Kicking ass, just wish it was a little easier to make ends meet.

14) How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Once, on my bike, and charged with riding in a pedestrian-only area.

15) What characteristics do you despise the most?
Greed and Look-At-Me-I'm-Great People

16) Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
If I am doing something I'm not supposed to be doing, there is a 114.7% chance that I will, in fact, get caught.

17) How's the relationship between you and your most recent ex?
Fine and Dandy thank you ;)

18) Anyone upset you lately?
Lately "last few months" hell yes.
Lately "last few days" not even an ickle bit.

19) Last person you talked to on the phone?
Erm, Ruth probably, when I realised I had left my other mobile phone at her house.
*hyperventilate*

20) Do you think you're dumb?
I know stacks of crap about fark all.

21) What could be done to make things better for you?
Lottery Win, Unlocking the secret to making females clothes fall off with just a glance...

22) How' s your heart?
It's had a hard few months, but it's pretty good and as usual, full of hugs ;)

23) Ever kissed someone with a name starting with a D?
My very very first kiss was with a girl named Donna. I was about six or seven I think and I still remember it!

24) Can you keep a secret?
I'm always laden with secrets, my own and other peoples, and never share.

25) Are you happy with your living arrangements?
Single with custody of the kids? Yep.

26) Do you have trust issues?
I think I do now ;)

27) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive, but I always remember why I had to forgive.

28) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Pfft, been there, seen it, done it.

29) Do you ever wonder what your last ex is up to?
I make sure she's OK, that she's happy and - oh wait, we talk every few days anyway...

30) Have you ever been given roses?
Yep

32) Have you ever been cheated on?
Not technically...

33) Do you believe that every one has a soul mate?
Holy Pants Filled With Ants I hate that phrase with so much passion...
"Awww he's my soul mate" *dumped*
"We're so in love we're like soul mates!" *divorced*
I like to think that there are people better for you than others, but aside from that, I WISH that people who claim they have found their soul were legally obliged to never see anyone after that person ever again!

34) What's your current problem?
Problem? Singular? Pfft...

35) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Do you actually READ this blog?

36) Had a long distance relationship?
"sort of"

37) Do you believe in this saying: once a cheater always a cheater?
I agree to a degree (!!) but like to think people can change.

38) Do you want to get married?
I have NO idea at the moment. It's not one of those things I've sat and thought recently. I got dumped dontchaknow!

39) How many times have you been IN love?
A few ;)

40) Who was the last person you held hands with?
Tamsyn

41) Do you believe in love at first sight?
Probably, but if someone says "it's love at first sight because you're recognising your soul mate" I'll murder them. Both, for good measure.

42) Have you ever gone out with the same person more than once?
Nope, once bitten, twice RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVES!

43) What was the first thing you thought this morning?
4am - who on earth is texting me now?!

44) Do you still like your exes?
Well, considering there are soooo many of them....

The Next Stage

After what feels like an eternity, Jo called yesterday and told me that finally, she had managed to get a house. This has been through no fault of her own, but it was pretty much the last big step that needed sorting.

She sorted out the paperwork yesterday, and can move in "any time from Monday" which is excellent. Excellent for Jo - she can sort herself out and get out of her parents. Excellent for the Kids - they can stay with her now in her own home, without that worry of breaking grandparents possessions. Excellent for Me because I can start clearing through each room and getting "her" stuff and "my" stuff sorted out.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problem with "her" stuff being here, but I can't really rip each room out without figuring who's is who's. The hardest part will be the seperating of stuff - over the years, WE bought stuff, or stuff for one another. Of course, there are things that are obviously the others, but we'll just sit and work through it.

As we do ;)

It's not a massive panic either - one room at a time, nice leisurely going through cupboards, draws, units and what-have-you. Once she has taken her stuff from a room, I can be harsh and bin what I don't need/want, and job done - one room cleared. Rinse and repeat throughout the house, and hopefully it'll be done in time. Again, no rush, but will be nice to have less stuff in the house.

Less Stuff = Less Mess = Less Housework - and that's all kinds of good.

Before anyone starts jumping on the "Don't dump perfectly good stuff!" anything decent left over will be either given away, sold, or handed to those in need. The various items of "clutter" we have collected will probably get sent to the great Landfill in the Sky.

Once that is all sorted, then I can prepare each room for decoration. And then, by about Xmas time, the stupid-ass government departments sorting my money out will realise they are pissing me off and pay me so I can actually afford to buy decorating stuff. I also need to look into Laptop Repairs or, if that will be too expensive, a new laptop. SO angry that my nice one blew - thanks to Matt and Sam on Twitter, I'm going to check around see if it's a common problem with that brand, but I'm not holding my breath. I also - foooooolishly - don't have the receipt for it, so not sure if I call the makers if they will cover it under the warrenty. I miss my laptop. Pretty sure it is the internal power supply, but unlike a proper computer, I have no idea how, if at all, you repair/replace one. All suggestions and similar gratefully appreciated - I can't listen to music downstairs, I can't piss around online in bed, I can't sit on the balcony and blog, and the camera is now isolated to the lounge window. I can't even MSN or play WoW sitting on the toilet...

*cries*

Still, aside from that, things are still rosey - if a little painful physically from being so busy of late - but I'll get over it. Finally got a repeat prescription so I can continue self-weaning myself off the Paroxetine/Paxil under my own steam, so all is good really.

But I still miss my laptop.

Tagged: Open Mindedness

You Are 72% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded. Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line. You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Tagged: Sesame Street

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Makes Me Mad...

Seven in the morning, I'm half asleep, not done on my third coffee yet, and I hear the clatter of Mr Postman dropping a load through the letter box. I trundle down and collect up the crap.

I notice two Customs and Excise envelopes, one marked Important. Finally, could I have money I foooooolishly think to myself, and open it up. It's got Jaysens Medical Card in it, the ONLY item I could find with his name and address on it. The only thing I have to prove my son lives with me. "Thank you for sending the required documentation. If we require further evidence, we shall contact you."

Bonus.

So I pop open the second envelope.

Bear in mind, for those of you with Goldfish-like memory spans, what the previous envelope contained. This envelope contained a single letter. "Please fax Jaysens Medical Card to us in order to complete your claim" I looked the THREE INCHES to the left to see the card I had just received from them.

Date on that letter. Friday 2nd May.
Date on this new letter. Tuesday 6th May.
Both from the same person, my "case worker" as it were...

So, I've complied with every single bloody thing over more than two months, and now they return a document to me with a fax request. Could she not photocopy it - which she prolly did - and pretend the photocopier was a really big fax machine?!

And the next issue is... Who the fuckity actually owns a fax machine these days?! Does this mean I have to trundle into town with my £0.00 for the CSA, taking out the non-existent money in my bank account in order to use the fax that may-or-may-not exist at the library?

WHY did I post about how great things were yesterday? I should have left it till this morning... "Everythings great - but it's a pain in the arse."

So, thanks to these three branches of the government "supporting" parents...

- I've had two Child Benefit claims lost, and am STILL waiting on a third.
- I've had to send proof of my sons birth, of my sons existence AND that he lives here, and still Tax Credits aren't happy.
- I've had to deal with claims of Child Support against me, which went nowhere - and they forgot our other child.

On top of all this - Incapacity Benefit people will only pay out weekly instead of fortnightly if there are extenuating circumstances. Helloooooo?! Having fuck all money counts as extenuating, right?!

Oh I am going to be a bucket of JOY on the phone to people today.

*grumbles and mutters to the shower*

Edit: Not to mention, the bank will be taking money away from me in two weeks time because I spent money that wasn't mine. Yes folks, I will be charged for going over drawn by TWO PENCE.

Xmas?!

I seriously hope they just need to change the shopping trolley ads, and aren't starting just yet ;)

When Spiders Get Big

Spiders, as a rule, do not bother me. I can grab a spider, and save it from the threat of a boot, bug killer, hungry cat or whatever else might be looking to have a pop at the wee little arachnid.

There are exceptions, however. I am scared of snakes. Big, Small, Fat, Thin, Long, Short - blergh, evil nasty things. But spiders don't bother me. They do, however, bother Ruth, and over the weekend, she asked if I could help her with her garden. Not mainly because it's a tough job, but because it meant going into The Shed.

Yes, I capitalised. The Shed. Because it is evil. It's light and airy, but the cobwebs in there are enough to catch, say, Me. Which make you wonder, what on earth spins webs that size.

Ruth is scared of her shed because of this sort of thing...




I promise that this photo has not been altered in ANY way. Nor did I use any special photography equipment - that's taken with my phone... If you want, you can click to embiggen those pictures. But that is just one of the buggers I noticed while in there, which got me to thinking. If that bastard is sitting quietly by the door, waiting to grab you as you walk in, what about the ones you can't see.

As he came out from under his shovel - which is where he lives - I swear I could hear his boots clumping and his sleeves being rolled up. "Wot ya doin' in me shed then?"

I'm not a girl, but I didn't want to hang around in there. Mower, Strimmer, gerrout.

Of course, I fully understand that the spiders of, say, Australia are bigger, nastier and suchlike, but I make do with what I have. That's not saying the spiders over here are rubbish. Gemma got bitten by a spider once when she was little. Screamed blue murder about it. And, being that I am such a kind, compassionate and very very caring older brother, I laughed and took the piss out of her mercilessly for months.

Until I got into bed and got bitten by a spider. I spent ten minutes wondering if it was one of the urban legend spiders that come over in fruit or plants and kill people. Spiders bite dammit, poisonous or not!

So next time you're heading to the shed, remember, Fred and his mates are watching you, just biding their time...

It's Busy Bunny Me!

Fair to say there has not been much in the way of actual, bona fide content here on the blog for the past week... Or two.. ish. Also, it would be fair to say that I've been pretty much out of the loop in regards to keeping the world up to date on my mental health (or lack of), my physical health (or lack of), nor my normal, averagely boring day-to-day crap.

The reasoning behind all this is because I've been so fricking busy. Or, as Cassandra would say, "Oot an' Aboot" Or something similar - I usually screw up the spelling, but I am sure she'll throw something at me from the States ;)

For those that enjoy reading doom, gloom and suffering, then this post may well be something you won't enjoy reading. See, despite everything that has gone on over the last couple of months, I am doing good.

No, scratch that. I am rocking, kicking ass, winning, smiling, grinning... Dare I say it, but life is... Good. And I can't even thank blame my Happy Brain Medicine because I am sloooowly weaning myself off it. Granted, I'm not actually OFF it yet, and where as missing a dose a few months ago would see me twitching and zapping like the energiser bunny shorting out, I am now going three days between doses. Three! It's going to take time I think, and I'm dealing with some very interesting side effects by the end of day three, but I'm manly, I can cope ;)

I've been busy as a box of frogs trying to escape their prison. Mainly, I've been helping Ruth with various stuff - not that she's been slave-driving me. I had to say that. I can't deal with her moaning at me again. I offer to help with her garden, kitchen, shopping or whatever. Of course, on top of that, I've also had to deal with my personal favourite pass-time... The Rumourmill.

I know I've said it before, but people, here's a little peek into my head. Ruth has been a friend for many years. No, we're not doing the horizontal mumbo. No, we're not secretly a couple. No, I'm not using her to look after me, and No no no, she is not using me to help her out. Yes, she is a girl. Yes, I am a boy. When I say "I am going to have dinner at Ruths", that doesn't mean "I'm going to shag". It may have escaped the attention of a few persons, but pretty much ALL my friends are girlies. It just happens that Ruth lives *over there*. Next time the Web Cam is on, picture the scene - the Blood Red House of Death - his back garden pretty much joins onto Ruths back garden.

I'm not naming names, pointing at culprits or anything like that. But next time you ask, I will tell you what you want to hear, and then mock you when it comes back and bites your bum.

Anyways.

Last weekend saw me travelling to what I considered to be a local warzone of dodgy people. I freely admit I was wrong. If there is a war there, it's all completely hidden from the average passer-by (me). A few months back, I managed to find an oooold friend on Facebook. Or vice versa. I forget which, but still. When my Mum and StepDad moved us into Blackmores, (Oooh can see my garden and mums car!) the family next door had a daughter, Kellie, the same age as me. Kellie, Jay and Myself were the oldest of the pack of youngsters that travelled the local area, and we grew up together till she moved away in her mid-teens. We carried on seeing each other till our late teens, then slowly scattered to the winds.

Now, nearly 15 years later, we started chatting again and catching up. I was there Saturday afternoon till Sunday afternoon, talking till 4am, and then carrying on after a few hours sleep. Bringing one another up to speed on our lives, drinking beer, coffee, Jack Daniels, and most amusingly, chatting about the crap we used to get up to.

After comparing notes, I stand by my previous comment of "I'm amazed I'm not dead"

The very very strange thing though... I was wandering through town heading to the bus station, quite happily listening to my headphones to block out the "You effin' wanker, bitch moan piss come-and-have-a-go" Chavtastic shouting, when someone leapt from the shadows. On my way to see an old friend I've not seen for nearly 15 years, I am attacked by an old friend I've not seen for 15 years. Cassie always was mental, and still is. And yes, she reads this, and I would like to see her deny it ;)

Another topic of conversation over the weekend with Kellie, was the possibility of getting the old crowd back together. Over the last couple of months, I think I have found pretty much everyone that I used to terrorise the neighbourhood with. And I think it'd be a bloody laugh to all head out somewhere with our own kids and have a massive BBQ session or something. See how much trouble we can get into, and see how the kids compare!

Sort of a "We Made It!" celebration... I'm sure we can arrange something amusing...

When I am actually home, I am clearing up the chaos left by Jaysen, Tam or even yours truly. I blame the animals ;) I can't remember the last time I actually cooked in my own home, but you know, that's neither here nor there ;)

Since getting back onto Facebook, I've reduced the amount of Outgoing Pokage that I was dishing out, but it's still there. I even gained a few friends from the Save The Dan group! hehe I've also become rather, shall we say, addicted, to Twitter. If you have a mobile phone or live at your computer (or, in some peoples cases, both), then have a peek.

As for being a Singleton, I am completely at peace with whatever power it is that has decreed I should live as such. I talk to Jo every day or two, see her every now and then, and there is no weirdness, no tension... As I've said before, we are and pretty much always will be friends. Even with everything "behind the scenes" as it were, things aren't strained. I've said before, I saw it coming, I knew it would happen eventually, and so we're making the best of it as we can. The kids are quite happy with everything, and the "schedule" we've fallen into seems to be working pretty well. I have Jaysen Sunday evening till Wednesday when Tam turns up. Then it's me and the kids till Friday evening, when Jo comes gets the pair of them, and returns Jaysen Sunday evening.

Of course, we're both flexible - last week, Jo had a rough time with various stuff, so I kidnapped Tam back so Jo could have some quiet time. This weekend, Jo is off to see Patch for his 50th birthday. I was invited too, but don't think I'm quite ready for socialising in that aspect ;) This means I get the kids for the weekend too which is a bargain - usually it's during school time, but with the weekend we can go do whatever the hell we like! I think the lakes are in order... Followed by home and showers for those that happen to fall in.

Saying no names, of course. I can neither confirm nor deny I may or may not be slightly clumsier than the average owner of two left feet with no sense of balance...

I think my mood has been helped by the sheer volume of sunlight that is currently battering the house and surrounding area. Sun is good. Well, aside for my face which has erupted in spots. Acne keeps you looking younger I suppose... Of course, you would think that being in England the weather sucks in comparison to, say, Australia... Ho Ho. I present to the court, an Australian, bitching and moaning about their crappy weather.

Our news report tonight promised rain and 18 & 19 degrees C for the rest of the week, yay us!! That means that there is a more than 99.99% chance that I am going to get wet doing the pick up and drop offs for school this week!

Poor Mel. She's cold, she's getting soaked, and it's making a certain feature of hers even worse. I won't mention it, though I DO have photographic proof...

So, aside from all that, I think what has helped me more than pretty much ANYTHING has been my friends. From those here that have to listen to me moan in person, those I've found once again, those that I catch occasionally on MSN, pester by mail or prod on Facebook - You've made me see what is what and pull me through this.

People keep saying to me "Holy crap, I can't believe how well you're doing" but it's not me. I've had help. So to everyone, thank you.

Even to random people that arrive on the doorstep, linger for AGES, and only leave when I point out they got a ticket on their car fifteen minutes ago... Yes, it's the simple things that keep me ticking over.

So, with stuff still to be done, I'm going to set about to using the funky "Schedule Publishing" feature. It's currently half seven, still sunny, and I'm blaring out music. Let's set posting for... hmmm... 11pm..

Why?

Why not.

Musical Not-Monday - These Arms of Mine

OK OK, I skimped on Musical Monday. I had three emails AND two text messages about my lack of song this week - well, lack of song, and the fact it was a repeat. Plus Cass, it's a GOOD track to make you feel good :)

However, even though I will draw everyones attention to the fact that last week I posted no less than SEVEN songs, SEVEN! I will still attempt to make amends this week.

Ya dirty ingrates.

However - Otis Redding: These Arms of Mine is a classically old love song. I love it. I hadn't heard it for aaaages, till it was on over the weekend while I was out and about jaunting through the countryside. Kinda. But anyway - it is a great song from days of yore, not rocky, not punky, electronic - this is back in the day when songs were made by people that could sing ;)

These arms of mine, they are lonely,
Lonely and feeling blue.

These arms of mine, they are yearning,
Yearning from wanting you.

And if you would let them hold you,
Oh how grateful I will be.

These arms of mine, they are burning,
Burning from wanting you.

These arms of mine, they are wanting,
Wanting to hold you.

And if you would let them hold you,
Oh how grateful I will be.

Come on, come on please let them.
Just be my little woman.
Just be my lover.

I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right.
I need your arms, loving arms to hold me tight.

I need your, I need your tender lips, to hold me,
To hold me together when I'm around you.

Tagged: Natural vs. Fake?

Pretty much everyone in the world loves boobies. Let's face it, they're great. And I don't mean just us blokes. No no, girlies love them too - and why wouldn't they, they get to play with them as much as they like under the pretence of "adjusting the bra" or "having an itch"

Don't give me that look, you women sigh at us when we adjust ourselves for "adjusting the boxers" or "having an itch", fair is fair. We itch and adjust, so do you.

But I digress.

The debate here is Real vs. Fake. Me - fake seem OK as long as they aren't the size of a beach ball, and don't look like they've had the worlds water supply injected in them. Or, in other words, I like boobies.

The question is, can you tell the difference between Real Ones and Fake Ones? This quiz - and it's for grown ups - shows a video clip of a pair, and you have to decide if it is a real pair or a fake pair jiggling in front of you. If you don't like boobies, don't click the link ;)

Me, I scored 22 out of 30. Of course, I am more "Hands On" as it were...

Click Me or Click Image!

While we're on the subject of Breasticles... Have a Poll! Not done one for a while ;)

Real Boobies or Fake Boobies

Select an option:

I'll only have them Real!
I can handle them Fake!
I'm not fussy at all
I don't like boobies

Help The Homeless

Help the homeless
Originally uploaded by Balakov

Tagged: Which Year?

You Belong in 1956

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

SEE! Innocent. And all you nay-sayers out there believe I'm a bad rude boy...

Musical Monday Repeat! Zocalo

OK, if the world explodes today, then I will accept FULL blame. If life as we know it ends, I will stand up and say "Oopsie, my bad" and accept whatever punishment the cockroach overlords dish out.

However, if it doesn't destroy mankind...

I've posted this track before. I love it. I'm in a really good mood. I'm in a good place, the sun is shining, and this is cranked up LOUD. It makes me think of summer, sun, good times and good stuff. There aren't any words, it's just music.

Put it on, think of the sun and being chilled and relaxed, and enjoy your day. If you hate, it... pffft..

Oh, and a further selling point for those that are interested - sexy dancing girlies wearing very little..

World Ended? No?
Phew...

*gets his boogie on*

Shower Musings

I tend to do some of my best thinking in the shower. It's the one place that for ten, twenty or even thirty minutes (if I am reeeally in a lazy mood) I can shut the door and just relax.

Now, when I say "best thinking" I am not talking about solving World Hunger, Global Warming, or anything quite so dramatic. But while washing my long brown tresses, my mind does tend to flicker around from random subject to random subject.

When the kids aren't here, sitting and "drying" is also another time for sitting and chilling out. I'm wet, I smell nice for once, and I can just drip dry.

• Being on a reduced dose of Paroxetine is interesting.
• Visual Disturbances is a good way of saying "the world went wobbly"
• I smell like a block of chewing gum (Mint shower gel!)
• Why do people arrive on the doorstep unannounced "for ten minutes"
• Why do said people stay for aaaages despite being told I am going out!
• I wish I knew who the traffic warden was so I could thank him for ticketing the person!
• I'm going to get murdered on Canvey Island
• If not, I will get lost
• I can't believe Canvey has it's own Wikipedia entry
• Some of these Facebook applications are sooo pointless...
• Why do I think I've forgotten to do something.

Seriously, I could sit here all day... But I can't.

Poorly...

She was sick last night, is hot today, and not a happy bunny.
Well, she wasn't till I gave her some medicine - she's currently attacking Jaysen..