Playing Catchup

Oooh I am soooo punny today that it hurts...

Obviously - and due to the complaints I've been getting - 0ddness hadn't been updated for six days.  Shocking, I know, but I did have things to blog, I just never got around to doing it.

For one, I've been staying with Kellie over the weekend, and Thursday I was with her too for her dentist appointment.  Yes folks, someone more of a coward than me.  Before then, I was with Ruth on Wednesday, Kellie again on Tuesday, and...

You know, I'm not actually sure what I did on Monday.

This weekend just gone was really nice once again.  Friday we spent the evening at her local with her friend Kerry and her family...  We weren't there all night, as the kids were with us too (her kids of course, mine were sold off to a rich family in need of chimney sweeps) but had a great time.

And me as ever forced myself to talk and be social, which didn't actually take that long to get into.  I was greeting strangers, talking about pretty much everything, answering questions about me and my life... Oh, and me and Kerrys geek of a brother talked WoW for a while too ;)

Saturday day time we had a wander around town, shipped her kids off, chilled out (watched a chick flick!) and then got ready to go out for the evening.  All afternoon the girls were debating what to do, while me and Kerrys other half, Paul, pretty much nodded and agreed.  We opted for the cinema, and went to see Hancock which was excellent.  Think a fair amount of people didn't like it, but I loved it.

Up yours movie critics.

Sunday was spent lounging in bed till close to midday - watching politicians on the TV get asked a simple Yes/No question, and give a five minute rambling speech that didn't actually answer the question.  Then we showered, shopped, pissed around in the kitchen till I had to come home...

And here we have another pissy moan about the bus company.  As it happens, the last bus I keep missing - they changed their timetables a week or two back - but failed to update the time table at the bus stop.  AND the time table on their own web page.  The drivers were more pissed off than I was thanks to all the complaints they are getting!  However, after a bit of digging, I found a new timetable on a third party website.

So thanks First Bus.  You suck.

Anyhoo.  With Jaysen finishing school tomorrow, the summer holidays are so close I can almost taste them.  And much to the chargrin of the population of Canvey, I am spending the first week of the holidays there. 

Jo and myself have been chatting about the kids and the holidays, and we've worked out we'll pretty much be having both kids together at the same time for a week each.  So, on my way home yesterday I stole both monsters, and Jo will get them back next Sunday.  Easy Peasy.

Except.

Well, this week is going to be AAAAAALL over the place.  Jaysen is at school tomorrow.  Then once I have everything sorted and together, I'll be heading to Kellies.

With Jaysen and Tam
And a suitcase.
And a buggy.
And Sally Dog.

All on the bus.  Yes folks, I intend to get all THAT on a bus, AND to not have any problems.

Wednesday, Kellies kids are at school for their last day, so we'll be out an about.  Then in the evening we're at a kids birthday party.  Then we have to keep them occupied till Saturday - at which point, Kellies oldest is off to his dads, then my lot, plus Kellie and her little one, all my shite - BACK to Basildon, to mine, dumped off here, sorted out, then off to Gemmas for Zóés naming thingiemajigg... 

Yeah, it's exhausting me just thinking about it!

But that's not all - I've got to get the house as tidy as can be in the next fourteen nanoseconds as tomorrow... BUSY!  Up and out, school run, then to Sarahs to... Shave her dog.  Then it's into town and shopping with Ruth.  Then home, with as much clearing up and sorting out as possible before the school run...  THEN to Kellies...

Wish me luck on that...

And lastly, please raise your middle finger in salute to my local council for royally bending me over and inserting things into deep dark holes.  Thanks to them being the most unsympathetic people sitting behind desks, I've not got to sell a couple of kidneys. 

Thanks guys!

Big Brave Boy

As I might have suggested yesterday, I have a toothache. As strange as it may sound, with the exceptions of "Self Inflicted" toothaches, I've never had a proper, full-on tooth ache. I've never had an ear ache either, but still.

Last night, I had pretty much NO sleep. When you have a face-ache, trying to lay on said-face is not that easy. No matter how I laid, I hurt and felt sick, even with painkillers.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a tooth ache, but in true Dan Fashion, my entire mouth hurt. My teeth felt tight (I know what I mean), and my gums are sore, red, inflamed... I've never had mouth problems, so this was all new to me. I started brushing my teeth this morning, but the feeling of the brush scrubbing over the gums made me want to cry. So it was mouthwash only this morning...

Kellie called her dentist and made me an emergency appointment which meant I got to see her again today. Such a hard life I lead ;) So I poodled on over to Canvey, had a cup of tea with my purdy girlie, and then we jumped in a cab.

I don't know if I've mentioned it here before, but I HATE dentists. They are ranked up there at #1 along with Snakes. I had several bad experiences in my formative years, and that was that. But, I felt that bad this morning, I WANTED a dentist. Of course, I was dreading it completely, but was tempted to hammer by bottom jaw off at 4am, so figured the dentist would be a good alternative.

I fill out the paperwork, asking Kellie questions like "Do you think I could be pregnant?" or "Did my AIDS results come back clear?" and then sat waiting.

Mrs Dentist Lady was very nice. I made sure I wrote helpful medical terms on my paperwork like "A bit of a girl" and "Wimp" and "Needles make me faint" so she was well prepared. She poked around all my teeth checking them all out, putting me at ease by telling me she was just having a look. The fact I was sweating the special Fear Sweat prolly showed her I was a wee bit nervy.

After having a look around, she told me the toothache was thanks to a wisdom tooth living just under my gum, bottom-back-right. All my other wisdom teeth have grown through fine and dandy, but this fourth one was a little covered still. The gums had what she classed as a "nasty looking infection" but she wasn't sure why as there was no outward signs of nastiness - smells, seepage, open wounds. She asked if my tongue piercing was new, but as it is 8 years old, she was happy that it wasn't that. My teeth, bar one, are in a great shape - but the infection has prolly been made more painful because she thinks I brush too hard.

However, like any specialist - much like a mechanic - she had to find something wrong. One of my teeth had a very small cavity, and she said that while it was OK for now, if it gets left it could become a problem. "Would you like a small filling now, or make an appointment. I know you don't like needles, but it'll be over with very fast.

"Now, here's my bind. Had I made an appointment, I would likely have never come back. She was of course, asking me if I would like a needle to be rammed into my mouth, part of a tooth drilled out, metal forced into the hole.... Blergh... However, my girlie was in the waiting room, so I decided to be all manly, sucked it up, and told her to do it.

The fear-sweat was flowing rather well.

She used the kids cream to numb part of my gum, then jabbed me. I didn't faint. After a few mins, she set to drilling and filling, and after about ten minutes, I was all done, and clutched a nice prescription for some antibiotics, advice to get some antiseptic mouthwash and a new, softer toothbrush.

We went to the chemist, got my stuff, went to a little coffee shop and had a cuppa and a teacake, took my meds, and proceeded to feel pants all day. I got to sit with Kellie all day who looked after me, so YAY. Got home, grabbed my son and Ruths girls from school, and once there, she made me a cuppa and then decided she'd make me dinner. Good job really as I wouldn't have bothered, and then taken my antibiotics on an empty tummy. Which could have been interesting. And Kellie told me I HAD to have something to eat. I think she might have stomped a foot too...

So me and the boy got back in at about 7pm and I'm now on the sofa, laptop on my, er, lap... Music on, Boy in bed, feeling sorry for myself. My gum now hurts too from the needle. So I went to the dentist, she couldn't fix it right there, drilled a completely different tooth...

I have to say though, it was prolly my best ever dentist visit. She was lovely, looked after me, and didn't spray me with my own tooth shards or anything...

Edit: Ooooh I forgot to add - the antibiotics are the sort they give for STDs too! So at least I know I'm clean for a change! hehe

Busy Weekend

First off - if this post appears as a sheer WALL OF TEXT then I apologise... I think it might be a Beta thingie... This has been a rather fantabulous weekend, if I do say so myself. Friday daytime saw me and the Peanut whizz over to Canvey to see Kellie, where my pretty young girlie to us out to lunch at her local pub. Yes folks, being that I am a sad sad single father, she bought US lunch.

Who am I to argue - women want equality and all that ;)

As per usual, time whizzed by, and as I had to get Ruths girls from school too, we had to leave a little earlier "just in case" It's one thing doing the Bad Daddy thing and forgetting your son, it's a WHOLE new game to fail to collect your best friends kids because you're out schmoozing with a lass.

Friday evening I was babysitting Ruths girls. Being that I am SUCH a good person, I bought Ruth a ticket to see a psychic with her friend. As it happens, her friend Paul was down for the weekend, so he and I sat chattering, drinking beer and being bastards to the four kids in the house; Ruths two, Pauls one, and Ruths nephew.

Now, I HAD taken over the very very stunning movie Cloverfield to watch, but someone decided that watching Big Brother was a better option. A couple of texts from Kellie - who was out on the town with her friends - made me smile during the evening, and once Ruth got in, I headed home, popped some pills and flopped into bed. Tired and Achey, and a night to myself.

Half an hour later, I get a message from Kellie, and then till nearly 4am, I was texting and phoning her as her Fun Night Out took a turn the other way. But, as I promised, I won't mention that here... I think it was the police requesting not to talk about the case...

*ahem*

Saturday, my nieces birthday. Kellie rolled into mine around ten in the morning, we ran some errands (Well, I ran, she tagged along trying to wake up), before we popped on a bus, went to Jo's, kidnapped Jaysen and Tam, and then headed to Gemmas. We were at Amys party till seven that evening or so, and poor Kellie had THAT sort of afternoon...

Bear in mind she already knows my mum and Gemma, this was our first time out as "a couple" to a family thing. And, of course, the entire family turned up. She met mum, and Gemma, and my mums mum, then my dad, his wife, my half sister, my dads mum, and then my uncle and aunt.

The latter reads this blog, so everyone wave to my Auntie Di. Use big movements tho - she's partially sighted, going deaf, and all that other old-biddie-stuff.

Anyways, Kellie pretty much got thrown in at the deep end, and we stood off to one side, gossiping with the Aunt and Uncle. The Uncle that is a police officer. That Kellie recognised. Who also recognised Kellie...I think I need to investigate that avenue of fun ;)

We left, dragged my kids back to Jo who was at her parents - so Kellie then got to meet Jos mum and dad for good measure. We trundled across town, got on a bus driven by a man who wasn't sure what route he was on (Whooo!) and arrived home safe and sound.

"Wanna watch Cloverfield?" I ask? The affirmative reply meant shoes back on, and trundle to Ruth where I had left the DVD.

Ruth was home, Paul was still there, and Alyce (She of the Serpents of DOOM) turned up at the same time as us. We chatted, took the piss, had a laugh - and then the three girls started talking about shoes. Me and Paul compared socks...

Back home, DVD on, Kellie jumping like a girly girl. All good. Then, for good measure, on went Lee Evans Live in Scotland:


You can rummage through YouTube for more of it ;)

After that finished, we went off to bed... And there we stayed. Till FOUR this afternoon.Get yer minds out the gutter.

No kids, no plans, a few coffees... We literally spent the entire day in bed. Talking, messing around, snoozing... The only reason we had to get up was because the erstwhile Ms Kellie had to get home for her kids. She was out and on the bus at half five, and I've kinda poodled around since then.

Jaysen got back at 8pm, we in bed by half eight, and then I decided to blog.

Um... and that's that really :D

So how was your weekend!

Edit: Having a couple of issues with this post - typos not being noticed by spell checkers, bad grammar, and the formatting went mental a bit ago too :S

Apparently I Need Some...

Another One Down

Apparently, cats have nine lives. Wikipedia even has an entry about it... Well, a paragraph on an entry. But none the less, you'd be hard pushed to find someone that had never heard the saying.

People, in most cases, have one life. Sometimes something happens, and people think that person was very very lucky - surviving accidents or similar situations that, invariably, would have killed most other people.

I have a sneaking suspicion I am part cat. Or several cats. Because today, I used up another life. It's a good job I'm a gamer, because I either use the save-game slot all the time, or I have accumulated enough points to gain an extra life over and over again...

Tam was just in the bath, and I turned on the shower to do her hair, and the RCD Unit kicked the power off in the house. "Hmmm -" thinks your wily blog author, "- must be some water or something on the connectors" So I trundle out of the bathroom and get my screwdrivers.

Tam is bathed, hair washed and drying on the sofa. The bath still has water in it, and the power is still off. So, standing in the bath (of water), I open up the shower (with my trusty screwdrivers) and spy straight away that some water had gotten onto the connectors from a little pipe that was working loose. So I reattach the pipe, take the connectors off, dry them and reconnect them. I then poodle downstairs and put the power back on. All good, no more tripping out.

So I head up, and turn the shower back on. It runs, no cutting out, but what's this I spy - the little pipe is working loose again! So, I get into the bath, leaving the shower still running, pull the pipe off, trim it down a little, reattach it and voilá! The leak is no more. I press the off button of the shower...

And it occurs to me, I'm in an enamel bath of water, prodding a live, running shower, with a metal screwdriver that has already cut off the entire house of electric through a wet electrical connection.

I get out the bath, dry off, shut the door and think no more of it. Well, aside to share with the world what a complete nubcake I am. I really really need to come with my own warning label or something...



Edit: I got in trouble :(
It won't happen again, I promise

A Wee Bit Owie

If I didn't know better, I would say that last night, I was set upon by a wild, rabid donkey. Now to be fair, I was very busy yesterday - the fact I had very little in the way of rest was, in hindsight, a Bad Thing.

When we got in last night, I popped some meds and sat on the sofa with the laptop, but could not get nor stay comfortable. I then had to force myself to stay awake so I could take some more meds later on. Last night, I didn't so much sleep, as was medicated out. My bed this morning was pretty much as it was when I went to sleep, which shows I stayed in the same place, in the same position all night.

Ruth had to ring to wake me up this morning too, twice, as I was A) Doped up still, and B) Owie and didn't want to move.

None the less, I've forced myself up, up and away, and have eaten some cereal in an effort to wake up some more. I was going to shower, but can't actually get my leg up into the bath - so that can wait till a little later. The Ruth has offered to take The Boy in to school (Hmmm, who is still in bed, I note with a huff), but I'm going to get dressed and get out.

On the bright side, after Kellie and her kids stayed over during the week last week, me and Jaysen are off to hers tonight after school, only to come back tomorrow morning in order to get The Boy to school Wednesday. It's not too hard really - just means getting up a little earlier and getting a bus for half seven/eight in the morning.

I get to see Kellie, so I don't care ;)

And on a final note - if this fricking cat keeps meowing over and over outside the window, I will skin him, dip him in vinegar, lightly salt him, and throw him to the Very Big Dog a few doors down.

Infanticide

Jaysen is currently wandering around the house, getting changed...

Whistling "Jingle Bells"

Someone stop me before it's too late ;)

In other news - haven't bloody stopped today - it's half three, I'm now sitting down eating a bowl of breakfast cereal I started this morning at 7am. Today I have showered, school-runned, mowed a lawn, strimmed the edges, attacked brambles with a saw, backed up an old computer, installed a new computer, added all the stuff needed to a new computer, school-runned...

And now the boy is getting changed to go to a party this afternoon, with me, while I help where I can... Then get Sally from Cel, head home, shower the boy, shower the Me, put the boy to bed and... Finally...

Relax.

Yeah, I'm completely knackered, I'm in all sorts of pain, I managed to slash my arms on one large bit of bramble, hit myself in the leg with the saw, and managed - somehow - to catch myself in the leg with the strimmer... I look like I've been wrestling with bears.

And now. I just poured my breakfast over me. Marvellous...

Too Much Good?

My life tends to have a theme. It's not a very complex theme, but, none the less, it's there, and it's so bloody obvious to anyone that knows me. When ever something good happens in my life, something arsey appears elsewhere.

Now, some people will say it's Karma, Causality, Cause & Effect - whatever, but I am fairly sure that the sheer volume of Bad that I've had, I should be entitled to a relatively long period of Good.

This weekend was fantabulous. Me, Kellie, no plans aside from "spend the weekend together" Jaysen and Tam were, as usual, with Jo for the weekend, while Kellies were either with parents, grandparents, out with friends or "around". Friday afternoon we sat together chatting, before having a long walk along the beach. Saturday we got up late, then went into town and had a wander, and Sunday, we got up even later - like, Lunch Time! - then spent the afternoon together before I had to go home.

So, lots and lots of good.

I get home to a little pile of mail that Cel (who was house sitting the cats again because she's so damn great) had stacked on the side for me. Now, a couple of bills I knew were coming, that's all good. Bills, while I don't like, I expect and understand.

However, because I don't work, I usually get my rent and council tax paid for me. Last week, I received a very friendly reminder *cough* that I hadn't paid my rent.

Since November.

So a flurry of calls, and they send someone around to sort it out with my paperwork. Now, the backdate-to-November is still being looked at, but my current claim has really pissed me off. Now according to the government, because of my back, my depression, my "pyschological" issues and what-not, I am on Long-Term Incapacity Benefit. Basically, I'm not sick enough to count as "disabled" but too sick to be "looking for work". As well as this, I get about £60 extra a week for having a wee sproglet "in my custody"

But NOW, because I got an increase in my Incapacity Benefit, I am making "too much money" and my surplus income - a whole £27 a week - doesn't allow me to gain full housing/tax benefit. So I have to find £30 a week for my rent, and an extra £65 a month to pay my tax.

In short, the government, the council - who ever - have said, "Awww poor Mr English, here, have some money" and then with the other hand said "Oh you skiving bastard, gimmie" and are taking the money they gave me PLUS a little more for their trouble.

Just when I thought I was actually getting somewhere, clawing my way onward and upward out of this dark little hole, someone has to come along with their dirty great boot and stomp on my fingers. Some days, I just want to chuck the towel in and say "that's enough, you win" because it sure as hell feels that's what someone, somewhere, wants me to do.

Up yours, whoever is trying to bring me down. I'm not happy, but I'll survive. Again.

Normal service to resume... At some point.

In The Dead of the Night

There's one thing I never really managed to get to grips with in my life. Since my teenage years, I've never gone to bed and slept right through. Don't get me wrong, occasionally I will go to bed and not wake up till I have to, but most nights I take ages to get to sleep, wake up all night on and off, and then finally, when I need to get up, I don't want to.

Last night, however, I was pretty much blown awake by... Well, I don't know what. I was on the phone to my pretty little lady till late, and fell asleep fairly quickly - I was knackered. Then for no reason at all, I woke up with a shock.

You know when something is just wrong and you need to find out what. I didn't know if I had heard something out of place, if I had caught a strange smell, if I had had a bad dream... Something was wrong and not what it should have been.

So I ran up the stairs - literally ran UP to the kids rooms. Both asleep, snoring, quiet, comfy. OK, so not them. Checked their windows - not that I suspected someone to be tapping on the third story window of a house - but all fine. Plodded back downstairs - avoided the crazy driver on the landing - and checked all the doors and windows of the house. Nothing, all locked, closed (or open a bit for the small windows) and secure.

The dog was sound asleep on the sofa doing the Possessed By Demons shit with her eyes, rolled back into her head, so she'd obviously been asleep for a while. Dipstick was curled up on my chair and gave me a "What time do you call this" look. Bast was asleep on the dogs bed in the hall and just watched me go by.

Nothing in the house was wrong, strange, out of place... But the sense of foreboding I had was palpable. I very nearly picked up the phone and called a couple of people, but held fire. I hate my phone ringing in the dead of night - it scares me as it's always bad news. The last thing I wanted to do was inflict that on someone else.

I went back to bed and took ages to settle down again - half four, the last time I looked at the clock. I was waiting for something to happen, and nearly crapped the bed when Tam appeared at my door and wanted to get in bed with me at three.

I feel fine again this morning. Tired, knackered, but no bad feeling. Quite often when I get a bad feeling, there is usually a reason, so watch this space...

Almost One of Those Days

My life has been very tranquil of late. Mainly because there is very little that is actually getting to me, thanks to walking around like a grinning idiot for the most part. My life has become this really strange - in a good way - thing that I barely recognise.

I have a tan for heavens sake! NOT monitor burn, not lightbulb poisoning, but a real, bona fide Sun Tan.

Today, however, has kinda pushed my limits just a teeny bit. Nothing bad has happened, but it was borderline to me standing up, arming myself with a cricket bat, and fighting the zombie hordes in those around me.

I should have know it'd be a good one when one of the kids left a rather sharp-and-pointy toy car on the landing last night. I stumbled out of bed, and was subsquently run over by the afore-mentioned car. It got off relatively unscathed, but me, the pedestrian, suffered serious damage to my ego. Oh, and a cut toe. Ouch. Not the best way to wake up.

Then I couldn't understand why the kettle wouldn't boil for a coffee. I kept clicking the switch on it, checking it was seated correctly, checked the socket was turned on, checked the water level wasn't too low. Fifteen minutes it took me to figure out the plug in the socket was for the tumble dryer, and that the kettle plug was sitting on the work top waving at me.

Then the school run was fun, as Ruth couldn't leave at the same time as me... So I had to do the school run with a 15-16 year old brother of some of the kids, but for the most part, I was in charge. Jaysen and Tam. Ruths two girls. A friends girl that had to be taken in by us. The twins in Jaysens class. Their sister. Me, eight kids. You can imagine, right?

Then, finally, the chaos ebbed, and me and the Peanut jumped on the bus to Canvey to see Kellie. Except the driver had no idea what I meant when I asked for a "Canvey Rover" ticket. Every other bloody driver knew what I mean what I asked before now, but no no... So I had to explain I wanted a rover ticket, that let me travel TO and FROM Canvey Island.

The journey was dull and altogether too slow. Tam was good as gold for me, and we sat playing. I had Kellie stay at hers too - usually she has to meet me in order to guide me through the rabbit warren to her place, but I have solved it. So the first I saw of Kellie this morning was her greeting us at her front gate.

All that stuff - which I will gloss over to protect you lot - was very very good. The only downside to it all was she has germs. A sore throat, to be exact, and while she pressed on, over the day she slowly got more and more icky. So the germs had me all growly too.

Then Father Tim, the old bastard, decided to speed up the course of time so the hours and hours we had together lasted for around about seven microseconds. So, we left her place in plenty of time, she escorting us to the bus stop so we could say bye bye as I left. However, due to gravity and Tam wearing the worlds most diabolically evil shoes we had a minor mishap that resulted in a scraped knee, a really scraped elbow, and Daddy (In his new white tee shirt) getting covered in blood. But, with time still to spare - ten minutes - we arrived at the bus stop. Even told someone arriving after us that no, they had not in fact missed the bus.

I HATE when a bus is late. Even more so when it just doesn't show up at all leaving me watching the clock tick closer and closer and, indeed, closer to School Finishing Time. When it became apparent that I, the bad father, would not be at school in time, I got Ruth on the case so at least my son wouldn't be abandoned at the school gates. The next bus told us that the previous one was stuck a ways back... Out of petrol. HOW?! Surely the little arrowy-gaugey thing says "Fill Me Up Please!"

So the journey back to Basildon took forever. Then all the shitty school kids got on and pissed around. Shouting, yelling, effing and blinding (I'm allowed to swear on here, this is MY blog!) and pressing the stop button over and over. Me and Tam evacuated and headed to Ruth where my son was being held. I'd like to say he broke down when I arrived back, that he missed me, and was upset I had forgotten him... No, he sat eating his ice pole.

Ruth made me a coffee and the kids played. My two, her two, plus one... Then plus another when Alyce arrived with one of her, like, forty three kids ;)

Five of the PM rolled around, so we left for dinner, with the kids chattering at one another which became moaning, then whining then all-out fisticuffs. So Shouty Daddy had a moan and they cheered up. Salad, nibbly bits and tuna mayo for dinner, most of which got eaten. Then the scraps got knocked over. Sally won't clear up salad.

Pathetic mutt.

So I cleaned that up, went downstairs, washed up, came back up to find a previously unexploded mine had detonated under the kids toys, showering the entire lounge - desk and sofa included - with toys, dolls, lego, games, bits of bits, bits of bobs...

We spent an hour clearing up, only for Jaysen to "find" that the bin in the bathroom was humming. And I don't just mean it stank to high heaven... No no, it was breeding little flies. I have been seeing them in the bathroom for the last couple of days, but just assumed it was the damp curtain "bringing them in" but it turns out my delightful son has been hiding food he doesn't want in there... I pulled it out and nearly gagged.

Seriously, it smelled like a corpse under all the tissue and stuff he had padded it down with. Blergh. So that bag rapidly went THE HELL OUT, the bleach came out, the air freshener came out... I can still smell rancid grossness. I wouldn't mind if I could smell it before hand, and I am sure had Kellie noticed it day before yesterday, she would have said something.

Bed time then could not arrive fast enough, and once they were tucked into bed, I stumbled downstairs, exhausted...

And got hit by that fucking car again.

All Stations: GO!

Some days my life is fairly quiet. OK, when I say "some days" I mean "Rarely, every now and then" On the other side of the coin, other days are what you might call, a wee bit busy.

And then there are days like today where there probably aren't quite enough minutes in the day in order to do everything you need to do.

Before you say it, yes I know I am sat on my fat arse blogging, but a boy needs a break. And a coffee. Or a vallium. A vallium latté to go, maybe.

Seeing Kellie as much as I can at the moment has been a case of weekends, plus Mondays and Wednesdays. However, this week, yesterday I had to go into Lakeside with some short chick to get hooked up on Orange mobile broadband, so was out pretty much from half ten onwards, and didn't get back till gone two - so that blew our Monday hookup. Wednesday Kellie usually has college, but as she finished last week, it was a case of arrange for one of us to go see the other. Before we made any proper plans, she and her best friend arranged to go out.

Of course, there's no way I'd come between a girl and her bestest best friend. Sod that. I've seen them together sober and that was scary enough ;)

Which of course, meant that I left Kellies Sunday, and wouldn't see her now till Thursday - however, that's the day me and Ruth go shopping to restock. And as I am going to Kellies at the weekend, it would have been Friday afternoon till I saw her.

Hmmm, this rambled longer than I thought it would :D

So with a lot of re-arranging and jiggling times, dates, people and everything, we've had a new plan. Kellie and her kids are jumping on a bus there after school today to come here. Then I am feeding them all, they are staying over, and leaving at Silly-o-Clock in the morning to get the kids back to school, so Kellie and her friend Kerry can have their girlie day out.

Exhausted from just reading it?

So, this means that with three extras coming over, and me going into panic mode regarding dinner, I had to rush out this morning and buy food. Let's just say YAY for various salads and fresh stuff that I will be making - as suggested by Ruth this morning as she held the mask over my face to prevent the hyperventilating ;)

On top of feeding them, I actually need to have a quick clean up - which isn't that much, but none the less, it's housework. Which, coupled with the fact I have someone over this afternoon... Manic. Because my claim for housing benefit and tax benefit has been significantly altered, they are sending out an inspector to make sure I am not committing fraud. I assume, by not housing a boat-load of immigrants or something equally strange.

This inspection is due between 12-3, despite me warning them I am out from half two on school run. If he turns up then, I'll be pissed. So I have to clean, while waiting for Fella McBlokey to turn up, while doing some washing up, while preparing dinner, while doing a school run, while making sure the beds are made, that the kids rooms are tidy (ish, I'm no miracle worker) and generally not having a breakdown.

**Mushy Alert**

Of course, the fact that I get to see Kellie again is aaaaall kinds of good, even if it's only going to be for a few hours. Doesn't matter how much stuff I have going on, I'm still all fuzzy and smooshy and stuff.

Ya'll can just live with it or read elsewhere

Lé Weekend

I had an extremely great weekend. The kids had a great weekend. We chilled out Friday, Saturday was manic with football practice, walks to the beach (and subsequent wet kids), walks home, then Kellies best friends kids were over for the night. Kellies eldest boy went to his dads, which put the household on two adults, my two kids, one of Kellies kids, and three of Kerrys kids. 3, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10 years of age.

Plus me and Kellie.

Still, they had a great time, were fed, staggered bedtimes starting from eight in the evening ranging till ten. Then it was adult time time for us to chill out. I wrote "adult time" then realised how it sounded... Ya damn pervs!

Sunday morning was even more amusing - six kids plus me and Kellie to get sorted, all needing food, then a rather "Had One Too Many Last Night" best friend needing a coffee. I was all sweetness and light and didn't make any loud noises or anything... *ahem*

Then it was off to the fair with everyone, meeting family and friends and extended family, food, drink... Oh and a close shave with Sun burn ;)

As much as we hated to go, we left around five ish, and went straight to Jo's parents so I could drop off an exhausted Tam, then me and the boy had the grand plan of walking home.

Half seven we got in last night.

Tiiiiired much!

Still, I am chalking this weekend up to "Full of YAY!" and hobbling the boy to school...

Just, Yum

To off-set the ranty-rantness of the previous post, I feel I have to post a somewhat pointless entry.

I've not been eating very much of late - a sandwich here, picking at some food there, but while sorting out a bag for the weekend, I decided I needed a sandwich. So I was going to have tuna mayo. Then oooh cucumber. Oooh tomato. Lettuce. Cheese. Onion...

What I ended up with was a sandwich worthy of a medal. And/Or an orgasm. Whichever deity you pray to, He/She made animals very tasty :D

So here I sit, scoffing the Worlds Greatest Sandwich, while Tam eats her salad and stuff beside me. I WAS going to take a picture of the Holy Food Item. But it got et.

That is all. Nom.

Anyway, I'm off to spend the weekend with Kellie, with both my kids in tow, while Kellies son is off on Saturday morning, this will be the first time the kids have been together since Kellie and myself became "a couple". All of them older than Tam have given us their Seal of Approval, which is always good :D In the coming weeks, we've also had invites as a couple to various "things" which is rather... erm, fuzzy-inducing ;)

A Mixed Bag o' Stuff

Today has been... erm... a little bit up and down, really. I'm not sure about the rest of the world out there, but over here, it was Fathers Day. Now, I think I might have touched on it before, but it's really not a day I associate with good times. Firstly, I don't need a day for my kids to tell me they love me, that I'm great or anything else - it's like an annual review... If I were a bad daddy, would I have been fired today? Would I have been put on probation and demoted (to mummy....!)

Anyway, without going into all the detail - those who know, know - my main reason for not liking Fathers Day is the fact that it is made abundantly clear that I am missing one.

Despite having been up on cloud nine for the last couple of weeks, today loomed, and marched inorexibly forwards till I woke up this morning and thought the most profound of thoughts.

"Arse"

So, with Ruth having her family down, I called her to make sure she was up and at 'em. Then I rolled out of bed, sorted myself out, threw on some clothes, and left the house. I only had one place on my mind. Bethany's Garden.

I walked there which in itself is a fair walk, but I NEEDED to do it. I've been thinking about it of late, and since the split knew I would have to go there. For ME, before anyone asks. So, I didn't tell anyone because I knew people would say things like "Good luck" and "You can do it" and other messages that would make me NOT want to go. I didn't plan it, simply because if I knew I was going on Day X at Time Y, I wouldn't go.

I even turned my phones off.

Walking there with my music, no problem. Lovely day, all was good. Got up there and went straight to her garden, where I knelt and felt sad but wasn't crying. Thanks to the rather mental weather, the grass up there has had a mental spurt and was growing through, so I pulled up a load of grass, emptied some dead flowers out and stood up little toys that had been knocked over. I sat up there for a little while, talking softly to her, before heading out.

And that is when I lost it. Not the going. Not the seeing. Not the talking to. But turning away from her and walking from where she is. Just like the day I lost her. I didn't hide my tears - I wasn't going to make excuses to anyone for them, and got to the gates, where I called Jo to let her know where I was. We had a little chat, and she told me her plans to redo it in the coming weeks.

I finished chatting to Jo and felt a bit more with it, and sent a couple of messages off to Kellie - she was out with her extended family-that-isn't-but-none-the-less having a party, so I didn't call her. Then I noticed the texts received, missed calls and voice mail alerts.

Turns out just after I left the house, Ruth tried to call - I was supposed to take my big pan to her as she was feeding the five thousand, but had forgotten and was out. Of course, Dan not answering one of his three phones, not responding to text nor voice mail, and, as far as the world knew, still at home.

Yeah, you can see where this is going.

So I panicked Ruth, who in turn woke up Cel (who has a key for dog-purposes) as Silent Dan is pretty much unheard of. So I had to speak to her and apologise for being incommunicado. Panic over, though it did make me smile a little. Especially as I knew the main bolt was on my front door, so Cel's key would have done precisely nothing - well, aside from make the girls actually urinate in their undies.

On the way home - walking, still - I had a few texts from Kellie which made me smile and cheered me up a bit more. By the time I got in, I was pretty much OK, just a bit sad still. Sad is better than batshit mental ;)

I grabbed some food and headed to Ruth with my pan, having someone tell me en route that I "looked like a bit of a mental" to which I replied "No, it's OK, I'm just a pot dealer" and wiggled my very large saucepan at him. Got to Ruth, sat down for a coffee and her tribe arrived. Then they left and I quickly mowed her lawn (which, I should add, had also gone f'king mental from this weather!) which I did a stunning job of. Then we had a chat and I went back home.

Once home, I sat and watched the last of House, Season Three (Oh, and thanks to the writer to include a little blonde girl that needs heart surgery, suffers a stroke, and her fav. toy is her stuffed bunny), while drinking coffee and chilling out. Oh, and hearing from Kellie on how her day was going - short description might be "mad house". Then, early evening, the boy came home and we chilled out together for a while, sharing weekend stories as we do, till he had a shower and went to bed. Well, just before he went to bed, Lane turned up to see how I was doing. She started trying to go depressive on me, so I beat her up a bit and kicked her out of the house. With Sally not sure if she should be attacking me or attacking the stalker... So she covered both bases before Lane drove off.

And finally, after all day of both of us being all over the place, I finally managed to get Kellie on the phone, and we sat and talked, and grinned, and giggled and sat quietly... Ahhh shuddup ;) It was my longest phone call since... erm... wow, ever I think! Just over two hours we talked. Can you tell I miss her.

Rhetorical question ;)

After that, I fiddled around on Plurk for a while - if you don't use it, learn, because it's great. And then, while laying here trying to sleep, I decided I needed to blog.

So, as you can see, as is usual for Chéz 0ddness, it's been a bit of a strange day really. I think I covered a good range of emotions! But even with ALL that, with everything going on - I'm still off the meds!

And in other news, as a side note, a PS or addendum... I've added a couple of new blogs to the side bar you should go read!

Geek Mama: Does as it says on the tin. She's a mummy... That's a geek.

OK, erm... *blush* the other two appear to have NOT saved - so I will add them to this list in the morning! Oopsie... I'm tired, sue me! Otherwise, I am feeling good once again. Really good. Me and Kellie have spoken about a lot of stuff that I've had in my little "Bag of Stuff", but she accepts I'm a bit of a mixed bag, and is quite happy with that. I know there are times I can be a bit... or, rather, a lot... Dan. I'm not what I would consider a normal, stable person, but she seems to like me for me, which is the most important part. Thankfully, we agree this is me:


Thank you Mr Shrek, for describing me perfectly ;)

Crash!

Something I've noticed more and more of late is my energy levels, or, more specifically, how my energy banks seem to have a leaky valve somewhere. It's very hard to explain to people without sounding stranger than usual, but I think I need to talk to the doc about it.

There are three "periods" during the day that my body tries to shut itself down if I am not doing stuff. Late morning - half ten to midday ish; Early afternoon - one to two ish; and Late afternoon/Early evening from about four till half six ish. It's not every one of these times, and it's not every day it happens, but most days, you can pretty much bet that I will find myself literally crashing out. And if none of these, then I will drop while in bed, or while trying to stay awake in the night.

I can almost fight it off if I push myself up and do stuff, but more often than not it literally lands on my lap and I only realise it's happened when I am waking up. If I am out and about, it's not a problem, I just yawn a lot but I don't do any of this falling over asleep thing, nor do I nod off on public transport.

It might be that I am reading, I might be playing on the web, watching a DVD, even playing Warcraft. I've fallen asleep mid-text, mid-msn conversation, while blogging, and almost nodded off while chatting to people on the phone. Even if I am with company, sitting down watching or doing something, I can be using every shred of my being to fight off dozing off. When I was with Posh Totty a couple of weeks back, Posh, Mr Posh and myself were sitting watching a movie, and I kept doing the Heavy-Head-Jolt-Thing as I was nodding off. Same thing week before last while sitting at Kellies watching TV - I kept jolting myself awake - which was a moot point as she had already flaked on the other end of the settee, but still...

Now, I'm more inclined to believe that it's either a side-effect of coming off the Paroxitine, coupled with my Chronic Fatigue. I am 99% sure I don't have something like Narcolepsy or anything equally strange. With my life change, I am a lot busier than I was, so maybe it's just my body trying to catch a break. I'm up early, busy during the day, busy in the evenings, out and about at weekends... Maybe I just need my batteries recharged.

Thanks to Dr. Cassandra I'm on multivitamins and suchlike, plus I have pure juice each day AND, despite my previous "no no no" stuff, I have a daily probiotic thingiemajigg that I have with my breakfast. I'm not eating crap foods, and easily doing my "five a day" milarky as well, plus, with the amount of tea and coffee I drink in a day you'd think I would be jittering and vibrating like that rabbit... No, let me rephrase that... Like that Battery Bunny ;)

So, if ever we're chatting on some medium or another and I suddenly go silent, you'll know why.

The Questions Keep Coming!

I was a little taken aback by the number of comments, emails and messages I woke up to this morning. I had to chuckle at the sheer amount that said pretty much the same thing, "Duh, we knew!" or "About time too!"

Now, technically, I've been seeing Kellie for a few weeks now - but it's been just that. I've been going to hers, meeting for drinks or lunch, or she's been visiting here but that's all. We've both been fending off questions and comments from friends and family that have shown an interest from the outset. It wasn't till the weekend that we both realised something along the lines of "You know what, I think they're right"

The other bulk of questions were the questions; who, where, when, how... Well, Kellie isn't a random person I met at a random place. In fact, we go a loooong way back - she was literally the girl next door. When Mum and John moved into our house at Blackmores when we were kids, the next door neighbours were Kellie and her family. Even more technically, but not going into detail, me and Kellie were "seeing" one another in our late teens.

But now we're adults, have had our own lives and everything else. She is several months younger than me, has two kids aged 10 and 6, and lives a few miles from here. We've shared and compared lives, and pretty much discussed the missing 15-or-so-years. I had left Blackmores to live with Jo, she left Blackmores for her life, and then out of nowhere earlier this year, she added me as a friend on Facebook.

As for a picture, well, in time ;) Don't want to plaster her pics all over 0ddness without her say-so. See, look at that - ME showing restraint!

For those worrying, please don't. I've had lots of stuff running around in my head, have worried about people thinking I'm on a rebound (I'm not!), that I am going in with blinkers on (I'm not!), or that I'm wearing rose tinted glasses (I'm not!)... I've never been one to rush in anyway, I'm not the rebounding-kinda-guy, and I am aware that while I have a lot of baggage, that's just who I am, and Kellie knows that.

I've even spoken to Jo about it, and she's chuffed for me too - has also been asking all the questions, but still ;) We were chatting on the phone this morning, and pointed out how much happier I am, especially over the last couple of months. She is happy for me too which, strangely, makes me feel good that she's happy for me. I am certain all this has been a helpful factor in getting off the meds too - my mind is in a good place, and aside from the occasional emotional burp, I'm doing good. Even the shitty weather hasn't put me off or anything!

For those of you that already knew (which, to be fair, is pretty much everyone!) congrats. You could have a gold star if I had any left, but I've been too busy handing them out to people that have spelling issues ;) Some of you can put "Super Sleuth" on your CV/Resumé if you want to.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a lunch date with someone special...

For Those Not On Facebook

Off The Meds

Usually this would mean something bad, being "Off the meds" however... Not in this case. As I think I might have mentioned a while back, I have slowly been weaning myself off my Brain Medicine.

That'd be my Anti-Depressants.

My doctor wasn't particularly helpful when I suggested a while back I wanted off them, but I KNEW I wanted - and needed - to be off them. So, with his prescription clutched in my hand, I decided to do it myself. I considered Cold Turkey, but paroxetine - or Paxil, as the American readers will know - has a lot of very screwy side effects.

I've mentioned my zaps before, a horrible thing I suffered from a lot, and people that know me often ask why I suddenly gasp or whatever while doing, well, whatever. Yeah, that'd be the zaps. Search the blog if you want to know more.

Anyway, I reduced my dose, the timing of my dose, and put up with some of the side effects that tried to blind side me. But I'm a clever banana, I was ready for them. I had the meds to stop the stomach upset and the polar opposite of not going at all. I've had meds to stop me puking. The visual disturbances and hallucinations I've dealt with by keeping notes of important things I do/say so I don't get confused. I've made myself eat just a little even if I couldn't face food.

I went from one pill a day to one every other day. Then tried skipping a couple of days, but it didn't like that. I then took half a pill each day, then skipped a day, then took it for a few days in a row, then skipped two days - and so on. Like I say, I've been dealing with side effects, but I HAD to do this. Not for you, not for him, for her, for them, but for ME.

It's now been seven and a half days since I took my last one. I've had a few funny turns, but thankfully having ManFlu has been a godsend (and probably a side effect!) as I've been able to sleep through most of it all. Downside is my sleep patterns have been wobbly thanks to sleeping day and night, but it was worth it.

Having done my reading, I know the zaps will probably carry on for a while. Months, according to some sites. But I can handle that. Let's face it, I wasn't the smartest banana at taking my meds on time, so have been a little zap-bunny for a while anyways.

How do I feel? Actually, I feel pretty f'king good. Despite everything that has gone on in my life of late, I am taking life by the ears and doing what I like with it ;) I'm happy, but I don't mean I was UNhappy with Jo... I've already spoken to her this morning about some stuff, and she said she's impressed and proud of me for how I've dealt with everything, and that it's nice to see the old me back on the streets.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying "Yay! I'm CURED!" not by a long chalk - the meds were a crutch for me, they helped me through a bad time in my life, but with my life changing drastically, I don't want that crutch anymore. I have people I can lean on when I DO need help, and last week's Bethy moment just shows I'm not going to be all tinkerbells and la-la land happy. Life, at times, sucks the big fat floppy one. I know that - I've lived through that, but I've lived through that. I don't know what the future holds for me, but for now, I love my life, and that crutch can piss off.

Just another step on the road of getting back to be the normally-deranged Dan.

Back Foul Beast

While me and Jaysen have been wandering this deep, dark tunnel that is know as "Poorly Boys" we've woken up this morning and can actually see what appears to be a light around the next corner of this germ-ridden tunnel. It has had a lot of twists, turns and pitfalls, but I do believe we're almost over it all.

Last week I felt like arse. On a stick. And Jaysen joined me. I decided to keep him with me over the weekend, save him sharing his yuck with grandparents or Tamsyn. Thursday, the school phoned me to let me know he was sick, and to come and get him from school. They let me know just as I was leaving to get him from school anyway, and allowed me to take him out a massive FIVE minutes early. After investigation, turns out they sent him, his germs, and his puke-bowl, back into a class full of 9 year olds.

With the way that school harps on about their targets, numbers and everything else, you would have thought they'd have NOT put the vomiting kid back at his desk. So no doubt everyone will get a turn of that little fun-ride.

Anyway, I got him home, dosed him up, and he flaked on the sofa while I dozed in my chair. He then started being sick which I put down to his temperature, swapped his duvet for my summer one and he's not popped since. We've been coughing in unison, taking meds at the same time and generally doing nothing.

Yesterday morning we got up and felt a bit better, but last night one of his ears went red and he was crying with an ear ache. Joy. More paracetamol, and off to bed - I woke up at eight this morning to find a perky little boy with a bunged up nose, feeding and watering the rats, dog and cats.

He even made me a cup of tea. Clearly the alien got through his eardrum and took over.

So, on the grand scheme of things, he'll be back at school tomorrow, and has only had one day off sick. Well, one day PLUS five minutes.

He's still got a blocked nose, and I've still got a cold, but finally, we're exorcising the ManFlu demons.

The power of vicks compels you. The power of vicks compels you.

Aversion to Talking

When you consider how much of my life I share, people are often surprised when they find out something else about me. I've mentioned before that despite how much I talk about, there is a lot I don't talk about. I censor myself, and often have a hard time sharing alot of things.

In the world, I can count on one hand the number of people that know a lot about me. The background stuff that doesn't get shared to the world. And yet, here I sit with things on my head that - while not bad by any stretch of the imagination - I've not spoken to anyone about. I'm not dwelling, stewing or fretting, nor am I worried, scared or anything else negative.

I just have this very strange aversion to opening up, sharing, telling people what is what. It's not even a by-product of me and Jo going our seperate ways, it's something that I've always done, and now I am blogging about it, I know of... three people that will shout at me for not sharing.

Lucky for me they are all girls, and thus hit like themselves.

I'm not even sure why I am blogging about this. A vague blogpost talking about me... Not talking about stuff.

Suffice to say, my head is jumbled all over the place - not in a bad way before anyone starts on the "oooh what's wrong" and I can see exactly what is happening, but I've not told anyone, and I don't get why. A psychologist would prolly say something like, Trust Issues, Fear of Hurting Others, Fear of Rejection... So apologies for the random, rambling blogpost. Hopefully in the next day or two I will have spoken to my inner circle (or a shrink!) and will have my head a little less weird.