Is This Thing On?

So, turns out poor old 0ddness has been a bit neglected of late. A lot late. But, with yesterday being a momentous occasion, I figured I would appear out of lurkdom and grace you with my presence.

Yes, I still think a lot of myself. Go figure.

(FYI: Long Post Klaxon!)

Firstly, I was indeed 41 years old yesterday. Of course, I didn't realise it was my birthday this weekend until Wednesday when someone asked me which day it was. And when asked how old I was, I had to pause, and do some pretty complicated mathematics in my head to work it out.

So, with the freshest thing first, I'll start with yesterday - in which I became older, no wiser, sexy as ever, and generally continued to grace the world with my presence. As mentioned already. As is usual, I don't make a big deal of my birthday - I'm not into the whole party-hearty because I managed to not die for another year. Yesterday was nice and quiet and chilled out. My gift from Poppy was me tripping over her potty, and splashing pee all up my leg, so that was nice. And warm.

In August, I finally bit the bullet and started looking for a new doggo. Since I lost Sally Dog, I wanted something small and stupid with a wanky obnoxious name - but have been putting it off and putting it off. First we needed somewhere bigger. Then we needed money. Then with Poppy, we needed her to be less... Baby. So, last month, Kellie made some phone calls (and aside from avoiding a rather dodgy situation with what later turned out to be some travellers and puppy farming!) she found a lady with a couple of Jack Russell puppies. We travelled over to see them, a boy and a girl, and set to having a play.

The little girl - as a typical female - was probably just having an off day, and didn't seem bothered by us. The little boy was an idiot, wanted to lick my chin and eat my stubble, and seemed to like having cuddles. He also like being near Poppy (kind of important with THAT force of nature) and on top of that, didn't growl at Kellie - so he can't sense evil.

We took him home there and then, and since then, the little idiot has been charging around like a mad thing. Naming took a couple of days (He was just "dog" to start with!) and we toyed with everything from Dave to Kujo to Jeff to Gobshite... Eventually, however, remembering a dog my Great Uncle had maaaaany years ago, we opted for Lord Montgomery II. Granted, we call him Monty, but everywhere he's registered, the vets, his microchip, his insurance, his name tag - he is Lord Montgomery. Which the vets find hilarious.

He's such an idiot. No sense of how small he is, can't navigate a series of three steps without tripping over at least one of them, can go through a baby gate in one direction, but cannot work out how to come back through... He tries to leap up onto the sofa - but takes off about three feet too soon, so generally hits the front of the sofa face first. As I write this, he is snuggled against me, on my lap. Oh yes, he's a lap dog.

Him and Poppy get on like, well, a toddler and a puppy. I should sell the idea to Disney for their next Princess. A noisy troublemaker and a puppy, systematically destroying everything they go near - but everyone still loves them. For some reason.

Anyway... With Monty being my early birthday present, I didn't expect to get presents yesterday, but low and behold, a large box was produced. I was genuinely not expecting anything, so to unwrap it and find a brand new spanking shiny gaming laptop inside, I was shocked into speechlessness. I expected it to be a box with a brick in it. Or something explosive. Or divorce papers.

You see, last year, I made the transition from a PC Gamer to a PS4 Gamer. The PS4 was my birthday present last year. My old Aspire laptop - while still able to run a lot of things - was getting a bit rickety. It survived the Great Kicking of Kellie in 2012, it was resurrected after the Dropping Off Of Screen in 2013, and even last year, it survived the Great Coffee Flood...

The Second Great Coffee Flood, however, proved to be it's undoing. All seemed well for a week or so, then, in the immortal words of the great Nanny Plum, it went BANG. Literally, BANG. Complete with the Blue/Grey Smoke Of Electronics Doom.

I have no idea what died, though I suspect either the power gubbins or the processor, but it was Dee Eee Dee Dead. And that, I am afraid to say, was that for the laptop. Within a fortnight, my old wheezy Medion PC System also gave up the ghost, and has since been sitting on my desk staring at me like a corpse glaring at its murderer.

But now, I am back in the world of the living. I am still a PS4 Gamer, but am also once again a PC Gamer. And, MOST importantly, I can now get many many Gigabytes of data retrieved from my old systems. See, having no computer to speak of meant the laptop and the PC have been sitting there rotting, their four hard drives holding tightly onto lots and lots of photos from over the years - including a multitude of Bethy pictures.

Thankfully, after doing the Medion hard drives, all the photos from the last ten years or so are safe and sound and YES I've already backed it all up. Thank you Google Drive & Photos. Of course, the anally-retentive Dan has spent the last three days sorting the photos and putting them into the correct Month & Year folders... Because why wouldn't you?!

I've not had a look at my laptop drives yet - I have to confess, I am a little nervous to do so, mainly because of the spectacular way it exited the mortal coil... As long as there was no surge in electrickery or, you know, fire, I think they should be good.

So, moving on from the most important thing (Yes, still me), I move on to the wee little troll that is Poppy.

She is growing like a weed. All the new stuff we got her for the summer is already looking a bit little on her. Not that it matters too much, as she is currently going through her "Nekkid Toddler" phase and hates to wear clothing. And runs around without a care in the world. She looks so much like Bethany some days,it pulls at my heart strings, and she is SO much like her, from the trouble making, to the putting herself on the naughty step after intentionally doing wrong, to hiding her dummies, so when you take it away from her, another one appears out of nowhere! She is gorgeous, funny, stubborn and bright as a button.

She's now entitled to her 15 hours a week of nursery, and so - realising both how fast she's growing and how little she is, she started three mornings a week at a little nursery near us. At first, she was, shall we say.... Less than impressed... She's never really been away from Mummy or Daddy or Siblings or Nanny - and the first few weeks she did to get used to it in August... They did NOT go well. But with the girls at nursery helping out, we persevered, and now she hates NOT going to school. She's still doing exactly what Tamsyn did was she was small and lovely, and refuses to speak except in her own language. Since starting nursery, she is coming on more and more.

For those of you that don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook or whatever, she also had her first proper injury in the summer - she gashed open her forehead beside her eyebrow. Typical guilty daddy moment, I looked away from her for a few seconds, and down she went. Because she was wet, the blood went EVERY-fooking-WHERE and she looked like Carrie. It was awful. It was touch and go for a while if she'd need referring to another hospital for the plastics team that rebuilt Jaysens hand as it was so close to her eye, but in the end, it was nice and clean and not too deep. Steri-Strips and TLC, and she now has a scar above her left eyebrow, but with copious usage of Bio-Oil, I'm hoping that it fades more and more over time.

As I mentioned earlier, she and the dog love each other, and are generally always running around together. Where one goes, the other follows. If she curls up for a nap somewhere, he usually curls up with her too, and it is exactly what we wanted - for them to grow up together and be best friends. They play with each others toys, play with each other, and literally bounce off one another. Until they both flake out and have a nap...

And it's at times like that, the rest of us can sit for half an hour, have a breather, drink some coffee, clear up the chaos, and wait for it to start all over again - because when one wakes up, the other wakes up.

As for the other morons children in the house - well, I say children... Dom is 19, has moved on from being one of the managers at McDonalds, and now works at some big financial place doing something... Financial. Jaysen is 18 (19 in a few months even!), still in college studying something with animals, while working at the Dogs Trust a couple of times a week - and now he's considering University. Molly is 15 and in her last year of school, getting ready for her GCSEs. Tamsyn is 12 (but seems older?) and is shooting up like a bloody weed as well. Both Molly & Tamsyn go to Army Cadets twice a week, and it's definitely doing them both the world of good.

Jaysen: Being Special

Molly: Probably Sulking

Poppys Other Great Passion: Water!

Tamsyn: Not Actually My Son

My Classy Kellie

NERDS

Lucina (Doms better half), Molly (doing something with her fingers),
Kellie (squashed), Tamsyn (still a girl) and Poppy (trying to escape)

Tam & Mo with their detachment (Armed Forces Day)

Now, oddly, I cannot find any photos of Dominic that fulfil the following criteria. Firstly, I wanted a recent photo, and secondly, I wanted it to be of him fully dressed and not on the toilet. As it seems all the photos I have of him seem to be in his pants or on the loo, here's the next closest thing.

Dominic: Needs a Haircut

And so, after what can only be described as a wall of text and random photos (and a cauliflower) I will leave it at that... I can cover my medical rubbish any other time - probably at three in the morning when I feel shite, and all of Kellies medical rubbish is a blog post unto itself.

And yes, I am fully aware that while blogging has never been considered "cool", I still prefer it to most other forms of Social Media. And, while on THAT subject - while I might have things appear on Facebook, I do not actively go on there, and have not done so for a long time. Too much drama, bitching, politics, and what seems to be playground behaviour - so I continue to avoid that. I use Twitter now and then, and post pictures to Instagram occasionally. I am hoping - though I'm not making any promises - that now I am back with a screen and a keyboard and no danger of autocorrect, that I will manage to blog a little more regularly. Aside from that, if you play on PS4, feel free to add me - username is Danielson0

Until next time, you little crowd of nutters that made it this far!

Gamer Gaming

As I occasionally do, I like to stop what I am doing and take a minute to talk about my gaming habits. And, for a change, the list is quite different to normal. For a start, I'm not playing World of Warcraft, and haven't been online in ages.

Why? I got bored. It's all well and good discovering new areas, finding the cool nooks and crannies, running the interesting, intricate quest lines, and seeing stories unfold in different places... But Blizzard have dumbed the game down so much now, it's hardly worth bothering. There's only so many times you can run the same quests through the same places to get the same outcome.

You don't even need to read the quest dialog any more. Glance over the summary, run to the marked point on the map, got through the motions, run back. No more searching or hunting. No more figuring stuff out for yourself...

Dungeons & Raids never really held much interest for me, except when I were in a guild of like-minded crazies. THAT was fun. Now it's go to a dungeon with a group, and either steamroll through everything in 30 minutes, or die repeatedly and deal with others screaming and ranting at one another. Raids are even worse as they are bigger, take longer, and no one works out the tactics any more... Read an article, learn the moves, rinse and repeat.

And PvP holds no interest for me at all.

So it's either level a character, do the same stuff repeatedly and start again, or not play.

Which means I can't be bothered to play. Even the upcoming expansion doesn't make me go all giggly and think "wantwantwantwantwant" like it used to. I've not even seen the cinematic for it yet. Not interested.

I'm not playing Diablo 3 at the moment either, but that isn't a game I like to play in dribs and drabs. I don't like playing for half an hour then doing something else, and at the moment, I don't have the time to sit and play for a decent amount of time.

Games that HAVE sucked me in, however, are a strange mix.

Despite mocking Tamsyn and her love of all things Minecraft, I've somehow gotten hooked on Terraria. It's practically the same thing, but 2D and not 3D. I can't even explain what I love about it. Exploration? Crafting? Digging?! Whatever it is, I own it on both my PC and my Tablet. Both games are different - with randomly generated world's when you create a new game, it's ALWAYS different... Being able to play with others is sort of a plus, but the only person I played with was Jaysen. Who doesn't play often. And he sucked at it ;-)

Considering how much Minecraft doesn't hold my attention, I can't work out why Terraria does. Maybe I'm just fussy...

Next on the list of games that have sucked me in is The Elder Scrolls 5 - Skyrim. And I mean this game has all its claws in me and has dragged me in. I loved Oblivion and Morrowind (Elder Scrolls 4 & 3 respectively) but Skyrim has me even more so. I'm doing all the main quests at my own pace. I'm picking up all the miscellaneous quests I can find. I'm exploring every nook, every cranny, every cave, ruin, tower, dungeon, crypt, mountain pass, and whatever else there is. I'm making my gear better and better. I've adopted kids. I've become a werewolf (even though I forget I can shape-shift). I've saved vampires and murdered honest merchants. I've accumulated more wealth than I know what to do with. I've bought houses and built mansions...

And still I'm hooked.

I honestly think it's the open-world aspect of the game. I can go and do what I want, when I want, how I want. The play-style I use determines how my character develops his skills... I can sneak in and pick off the baddies from afar with my bow. I can go in blazing with magic in all directions. I can charge forth and let my axe splatter faces... I can be given a quest to go do something-or-other, and wander off in the opposite direction to go collect stuff so I can make some potions. Or go explore a cave. Or steal a horse. Or burgle a house.

Hey, don't judge me, I'm mostly good, but a locked chest MUST be locked for a reason, right? I can't NOT look...

In the world of Online Gaming, I am currently in love with Wildstar, a sort of futuristic sci-fi Western set on another planet. It's a very pretty game, and has a lot of undertones of how WoW used to be.

Think Star Wars meets Titan AE meets Firefly meets Warcraft.

But... My computer is old, and my laptop is, well, a laptop... There is only so much they can handle, and reeeally annoyingly, Wildstar is that one step too far. I can play it to a point, with all the details turned waaaay down to almost minimum, but it destroys the point. I like pretty games, I like games that look nice. And I like games that don't struggle when you have more than a few monsters surrounding you.

So now in order to play it, I have to save up for a decent computer, or really really decent laptop.

But I digress.

As for mobile games... Well, I've already mentioned Terraria. For some reason, I am also playing TWO farming types games, Township and Hay Day. Again, I have no idea why. Grow crops, produce goods, fill orders, build stuff, help friends... Strange, but addicting.

I'm also playing Dungeon Keeper, but that's more a five minutes here and there game at the moment. The developers have taken the idea of the original Dungeon Keeper game, and changed it to a game of "Micro" transactions. Doing anything takes ages. Unless you use gems. Which you find now and then, but you'll need more. So you have to buy them. Over and over. Same goes for the big powerful dudes, they cost gems. Which you can find. But you need more. So you buy them.

I refuse to spend money on it. So I am slogging away, taking my time...

I also have both The Tribez, and the sequel Tribez & Castlez. Honestly I prefer the first one, but it's a "build a town" game, and again, they push you to spend money... One of the "special" offers is a single building for more than £20! I'll pass.

I am getting bored of both those games... But I struggle with mobile games, trying to find something that holds my interest, doesn't cost money to progress, doesn't feel like actual work, and doesn't have a learning curve like a cliff-face.

My time has been all over the place this last month thanks to the house move, and that has definitely cut into my gaming time. But more than that has been how I feel...

Because of my useless brain and pointless body, I struggle with games, especially new ones. I really struggle to take in ANY new instructions, and learning a new game can take a while. Then I forget what I am doing completely which either results in a restart, or just me having a hissy fit at how thick I am, and just deleting the game.

If I am in pain, gaming sometimes distracts me away from it, and I can enjoy doing something. However, sometimes the pain wins out, and - the same if I am tired - I lose the plot, forget what I am doing, and make stupid mistakes that results in a Game Over or a Reload Y/N screen. Making stupid mistakes on top of stupid mistakes is the worst.

Running face to face with a handful of powerful critters is a stupid mistake that ends in death. That, coupled with the biggest stupid mistake of forgetting to Quick Save, well... That usually means an hour of slow creeping and assassinating is wasted.

And I just quit.

I think that was the only reason I stuck with WoW for so long. I was so used to playing it, knew what I was doing, even if I made silly mistakes, I could get over them. I almost played on auto-pilot a lot of the time.

But I digress..

The only game I am actually looking forward to comes out in just over a week... A revamp of the original Gauntlet game. I've been watching the videos posted to Steam, and reading about the features and what not, and really can't wait for it to come out. The 20-something of this month. And assuming it'll run on my computer (which I am sure it will) I will be getting it!

I also intend to get both Oblivion and Morrowind again too, and replay those, to see if I get as sucked in as I have been with Skyrim. No promises on holding back on murder and burglary mind you ;-)

Lastly, apologies for any typos/wrong words or formatting weirdness... I am very tired, in pain, in bed, and posting from my tablet.

0ddness II - A New Beginning

For those of you living under a rock, or more specifically, that aren't on my Facebook (OR have me muted... I know who you are...) you will be aware that August has been, well, mentally manic at Chez 0ddness.

With it being Summer Holidays and all the kids being home, with Kellie working, it was decided that - what the hell - we'd sodding well move house too. Because why not?

We've been wanting to move for ages. Chez 0ddness is was beyond cramped. Granted, it was a three bedroom town house (ground floor, middle floor, top floor) BUT it was narrow. For a regular sized family, it was a little tight, but for the tribe...

Put it this way - our bedroom was in the dining room.

Finally, we found a house that we loved, and thus started the long process of acquiring said-house. It was lovely - big, open, spacious, big kitchen, big lounge, lovely garden, big living room... And finally, mid-August, we were given the green light.

And thus began one of the most stressful self-induced hellish fortnights of my life. I won't go into too much detail. It wasn't the move per sé, and it wasn't leaving Chez 0ddness exactly... It was the mess. The chaos. The disorganisation. The "Shit There Is So Much To Do But We Seem To Be Getting No Where" feeling...

My brain isn't wired for this sort of thing. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the loss of control, the upheaval, even the change... But I was a wreck. In agony and pushing through by day, sobbing in the dark by night.

People kept saying to me "It'll be worth it in the end" and "Think of how wonderful it'll be" and similar phrases. But they didn't help.

Being told those things, while literally surrounded by boxes, rubbish sacks, mess, dust and a list as long as my arm...

Quite how I didn't just run and hide I don't know.

Surprisingly, we were pretty much ready *cough*though not really*cough* in record time. The weekend of the 30th/31st August become Official 0ddness Moving Weekend, and all troops were mobilised. The kids were "helping", Kerry and James were slaving away, Mick from work helped, the 0dd Mother and the 0dd Mother-in-Law helped, Callum & Kathleen were beavering away with Dom & Molly...

Again, hell, chaos, nightmare, mess, disorganisation...

BUT by late Saturday evening, the new front door was closed, everyone had a bed, and all was quiet. We sat and ate takeaway on the living room floor. We could breathe.

We were in.

And thus begins a new chapter in our lives. Chez 0ddness is no more. Chez English is the in thing now. WE have a home. Kellie doesn't "live with me" any more. We live together.

Yes, we are still working our way through boxes. Yes, there is still plenty to do. Yes, I still want to run and hide and scream and cry. BUT there are no more deadlines. No more time limits. I cleared through a few boxes in the living room yesterday. Today, I might not do anything.

I want to thank everyone that helped out once more... Because without everyone helping, we'd never have managed it. Kerry & James were absolute troopers - Kerry had to drive the truck (I know, a woman driving a truck! AND there were ZERO deaths as a direct result of her driving!), and James was DIY Man (because I am still not allowed to use power tools). Callum & Kathleen (Kerry & James' two eldest) helped the kids sort their rooms. Our mums were amazing help - the 0dd Mother-in-Law was driving backwards and forwards, carting things around, buying food, and helping with the packing & clearing up, while the 0dd Mother sorted all the houseplants, made up big garden pots of flowers, and has been helping out with other bits as well. Mick from Work helped James with some of the DIY, and was brilliant at shifting and straightening heavy furniture. The kids were all great, helping out, carrying, lifting, clearing, tidying...

And for you that could see I was a mess, and keeping me sane via messaging, thank you... From convincing me not to kill anyone, for telling me murder is bad, and for keeping me as sane (yes yes, I know...) as humanly possible...

Thank you everyone.

I am aware that there is a distinct lack of pictures of the house so far... And I will remedy this as soon as possible. I was hoping to take pictures without boxes in frame, but suspect that might be a while away. So I WILL do pictures soon. Suffice to say, the house is like us. A bit strange, a bit 0dd, a bit weird, and the outside doesn't tell you anything about what's going on on the inside.

Welcome to Chez English.

When Tiredness Strikes

To say the last few weeks have been absolute f$cking sh!t a bit hectic is putting it mildly...

The details aren't all that gritty - first off, I've been running around like a blue-arsed fly most days just doing "stuff" - housework, kids stuff, cooking, cleaning and so on. On top of all that, I had my second Pain Management appointment where I actually got to see someone trying to help me...

Their plan seems a little arse-about-face if I am honest, but I can see their reasoning. One of my meds, the Pregabalin, is - in my opinion - doing sweet F.A, but in case it IS working, I am not allowed to just stop and change meds.

So to get me in less pain, we're starting by... reducing my meds... Marvellous.

Yes, I get why they can't just stop them (pesky stroke and risk of death and all that) but it isn't any fun for me as I am still in pain 24/7, am still sleeping very very little, and still a moody bastard that everyone hates.

On top of that.

Kellie decided to have one of her Heart-Attacks-That-Isn't-A-Heart-Attack sessions... The day before the Main Event, she was at work and went very wonky. Chest Pains, Left Arm Pain, crushing feeling on the upper body, going a lovely shade of Corpse Grey... Everyone in the office had a flap, plus she got a telling off for not having her GTN spray handy. But, at her insistence, she was fine and that was that, and gradually the pain went away.

Following a bad night, and feeling much much worse the following morning, she did it again. I don't know, maybe as I missed the events at work, she thought she would give me an action reply. Chest pains. Crushing feeling. Left arm pains. Grey ashen colour.

BUT she didn't want a lot of fuss - we've been told many times that it's not a heart attack (despite telling THEM we know it's not a heart attack, on account of her not being dead and all) so instead of dialling 999 and getting an Ambulance out, we opted for the NHS Helpline on 111.

As soon as the woman answered, I explained that we know that despite how it sounds, her symptoms are not her having a heart attack. OK she says. So I go through all of the above, tell her it's happened before, that we know it's not a heart attack, and that we just want a little advice or help or something.

Five minutes later, Mr Solo Paramedic turned up at the door. Oops. You could see neighbours having a nosey through their windows, but I let him in, explaining to him that it's not a heart attack, but here are all the symptoms. He wired her up to the ECG machine and Blood Pressure thingie, clipped on the glowy red finger clip of doom, and sat talking to her.

Funny thing is, she couldn't talk properly as her chest was crushing so she couldn't get her words out and breath very well at the same time. So she sounded like a breathy old lady having a heart attack.

Work with me here love, I'm trying to tell people you're NOT having a heart attack, don't act like you actually ARE.

Her blood pressure was quite high, her ECG was a bit wonky, and her sats were 86-89%.

Mr Paramedic radioed for backup.

Three minutes later, MUCH to my amusement and Kellies annoyance, a biiiig yellow ambulance pulled up behind the flashy-light paramedic car. Out jumped two lady paramedics, AND a trainee fellow, all with lots of kit in tow, and they came into the house under the watchful eye of the neighbours.

The old girl next door popped out, quite worried something bad was happening, so I had to talk to her and calm her down before she needed their help too - she's got a dodgy ticker as well.

With Kellie, three paramedics, me and the two cats wandering around, the downstairs was a weeny bit crowded. Kerry turned up for good measure as well as she was worried too, and Kellie... Well, she wasn't impressed. She felt like shit, and was receiving LOTS of attention.

The four medical people had a conflab, and it was decided that Kellie really really should go to hospital. They had given her GTN and Aspirin (like they do with heart attack and stroke victims) and that eased her symptoms (like it does with heart attack and stroke victims) but told her she really should be checked out.

However, she wasn't allowed to walk out to the ambulance. No, she had to be strapped into one of the special chairs for patients.

And wheeled out on display for all the neighbours to see. Kerry watched too.

Once in the ambulance, we had to sit for a little while so they could be sure she was safe to transport, that her symptoms were a little better, that her ECG wasn't wonky, and her Blood Pressure and Sats were improved.

All were a little better - sats were back into the low 90s, ECG was clear and BP was more normal. And off to A&E they took us. Checking her the whole way, monitoring her so she didn't die and so on.

Once in A&E it was the usual... Sit and wait for a doctor. Go get an Xray. Have a blood test. They also put a cannula in the back of her hand juuuust in case they needed to get quick access for drugs.

Yes, just like people having a heart attack/stroke.

We were in there for hours while she was checked, questioned, prodded, poked and bombarded with Xrays.

The only superpower she developed, however, was "pissed off with being checked, questioned, prodded, poked and bombarded with Xrays" And at no point when she was hooked up to everything and needing a wee, did I turn on the tap and leave the room.

After ALL that, she was given the verdict of "Well, we're happy to say it wasn't a heart attack..."

Er, yes, thank you for that Dr Obvious. "All we can suggest you do is just advise your consultant what's happened, keep your appointments for your Stress Test and Pulmonary Function Test, and go from there"

So once again, no answers, no help, nothing... No, I know, it's not their fault, they can only go by the symptoms - but it would be nice if they could be some help and try working out why this shit has been going on for five years now.

If any of you armchair doctors - no, NOT Dr Google - can explain to me why she gets all the symptoms of a Cardiac Arrest, without the actual Cardiac Arrest, the please let me know so I can go to the doctor, specialist, consultant or whatever and say "What about THIS" instead of feeling like they just throw random diagnosis out and then a few months later, they say "LOL, no, not that"

Anyway... Kellie ended up having the rest of the week off work (They didn't want her there!) and chilling over the weekend.

Which was lucky really as by the time Monday came back around, it was Dom's turn for stuff - even though this was pre-planned shenanigans.

Last year, Dom - being a spaz - hurt his leg playing football. I say hurt, it was a knee dislocation. Lots of pain and crutches and so on. He was checked, told to rest it. A few weeks after that, he did it again because, you know... Spaz.

This went on for a year or so with random dislocations of the left knee, an MRI was done, but nothing mentioned about it, doctors passed it on from GP to fracture to Xray to MRI to Orthopaedics... Eventually - almost a year to the day of its original dislocation - we got to see a knee specialist.

We were in there for a little while, and the only real option was knee surgery to reconstruct the broken ligament... Er.. Broken Ligament?

The MRI from eight months previous showed that Dom had managed to sever - not tear, but completely sever - the ligament that holds the knee cap in place, and also that prevents the joint dislocating at random intervals.

So surgery was booked in - but for AFTER all his exams.

Monday was the pre-op, and with that being all clear, the surgery was done on Tuesday morning. Now, I am not going to go into me vs. hospitals here. Dom, however, held up like a champ, only getting properly nervous when he was being wheeled into the theatre.

Kellie went in with him and was looking after him while he was knocked out, and after that, we had to go somewhere to do something to pass the time - so opted for the restaurant, drank coffee and ate cake, had a wander around, watched the world fall apart via the news on TV...

He was down in theatre for almost two hours - the surgery took just over an hour - and he was wheeled back in from recovery very whoozy and away with the fairies thanks to copious amounts of drugs. Apparently he was in a lot of pain when he came out of the anaesthetic, so they popped him with some morphine for good measure.

The rest of the day he was spent sitting at his bedside, chatting with him when he was awake, chatting to the nurses when he was asleep, reading, playing on the DS or Tablet... Just passing the time - which is a completely different time inside a hospital. Hospital Time is a strange phenomenon, and some of you will understand exactly what I mean!

Because Molly came up from school and sat with us for a while, we decided I'd take her home to get her fed, watered and into bed, while Kellie stayed at the hospital to spend time with Dom.

Within half an hour of me leaving, things took a bastardly but thankfully brief turn for the worst - all the drugs, the anaesthetic, the antibiotics, the three kinds of pain killers - decided to combine into a concoction that made Doms heart rate go through the roof, and to feel as though his lips, mouth and throat were swelling. Luckily, there was no swelling, but physiologically, he was affected, and his ECG, Blood Pressure, Sats and everything else went completely screwy for an hour. Luckily, Doms surgeon was on the ward, arrived and took control very quickly in a manner that kept Kellie somewhat calm...

After all that, Dom went to sleep and was fine for the rest of the night. Kellie got home and was a nervous wreck, and I feel shitty that I wasn't there when things went pear-shaped... BUT he was - and still is - fine. So no harm done.

The following day, Dom was hurting, tired but otherwise OK, and by lunchtime, the wheels were in motion for discharge. He met his physiotherapists, and started doing his various exercises - painful but necessary. His leg has some bolts of some kind in it, holding his new synthetic ligaments in place. The road is going to be a long one, apparently, with lots of physio and rehab for his leg - even now, it's taken him a week post-surgery just to lift his leg.

The wound itself is pretty... Disappointing... He has two, actually, both covered with a dressing the size of a large-ish plaster.

These two pictures show the site of the surgery. The arrow on his shin was done PRE surgery so they remember which leg to poke holes in, and what leg to NOT cut off. The blue lines are anatomical, showing the kneecap, femur, tibia/fibula (spell check update - the bones are Tibia and Fibula. There is no such thing as a Fibia. Apparently, it's an amalgamation of Fibular/Tibia, and MAY refer to the lower-half of the leg, but it not a recognised word. Thank you Spell Check & Google), and where there are and should be ligaments. Probably showing the team what needed to be done...

The next picture is when Diane - the 0dd Mother in Law - came to visit the other night. Dom, who is living on the sofa at the moment, is playing through the new Tomb Raider game. Nanny wanted a go... So Nanny sat trying to control Lara through bad-guy-infested areas involving cliff edges, gravity, rocks and dying. A lot.

I snapped this picture just after she fell to her death again, and Dom is giggling like a school girl... The look on the old girls face is one she shoots me a lot... Sort of.. Dragonish...

So, all in all, the last two weeks have been shitty. I've not really had anyone I can talk to, so been sitting and dwelling and worrying and thinking and OVER thinking and so on... Hence the blog post - I needed to get it all out and deflate. It's helped a bit, but... I don't know.

No, I am not going to go into me or my issues (pain clinic notwithstanding) and am just trying to get on with everything.

Kellie is better - still getting chest twinges - and she's trying to get hold of her consultants secretary to bring her next appointment forward... Dom is slowly on the mend - still on the sofa, still making funny groany noises when he moves, still getting lots and lots of care and sympathy from me... *ahem*...

Other than that, there have been Parent/Teacher meetings for Jaysen & Molly (both very bright, both very smart, both prone to chatter, both could push themselves harder, etc etc). Tam is doing very well too, reading at a higher-than-normal average, but still trying to play the whiny little girl card when she doesn't get her way...

Life is ticking over with what feels like extremely regular speed bumps, but I'm doing my best to push through it and just carry on... I think I need a break from everything to stop it getting on top of me.

Oh, snail...

I feel like I've been doing this post all day - thanks to Dom (aka, Spaz) needing guiding in Tomb Raider... Anyway, this morning while watering the house-plants, it became obvious to Dom and Myself that I am waaaay over-tired, and waaaay in need of getting out more.

The watering can - which was kept in the garden - had a snail on it. A fact I only realised while halfway through the watering. He was sliding around the outside of the can, drawing little trails as he meandered in circles.

And I was talking to him. Chatting away, apparently. Asking him questions... Dom thought I was definitely strange at this point. By the time I was done and put him back in the garden, "the snail" and become Mr Escargot. Yes, I named the snail. And made sure he was released somewhere cool, damp and shaded.

When I came back upstairs, I was talking with Dom... Considering how weird a snail looks - with his eyes on sodding great stalks, those two strange feeler-stalks, bloody great shell on his back, sliming everywhere - what must WE look like to them?

And then I went on to mime a snail, doing a human impression. Dom laughed till he nearly pissed his pants. Me, a human, pretending to be a snail, pretending to be a human.

I'm either very tired, something has snapped in my head, or I need medical attention.

Apparently.

Hi-Ho Silver, Away!

So, after what feels like eternity, I am finally getting my arse back to that lovely place that we refer to as "Devon"

Ok, so it is actually called Devon, but my statement is technically correct.

None the less, in less than three hours, we will begin the trek to the South West. A gorgeous, beautiful place that... Oh, is about it face the brunt of a massive storm.

Should be fun.

We're going for a week, and this time we're taking ALL the kids. Yes folks, I will be trying to control Dom, Jaysen, Kellie, Molly and Tamsyn into London, then on to Devon.

You see why a hurricane-force storm is no bother to me now, right?

I'm using the rule of thumb that an 80% survival rate for them is pretty good, but I'm willing to let that number drop, depending on how good they l are...

Plans for the week include "not much" "very little" and "sod all" but I also want to explore parts of the moors, eat copious amount of Steak & Stilton baguettes, sample the local breweries, and generally be out and about. Pain & Energy Levels permitting.

Usually before I travel for any real distance, I like to take it easy for a few days in the run up, as travelling and me do NOT go well together. It hurts, it exhausts, and it stresses me out of my brain. This week, however, I feel like I've hardly stopped, and even after being in bed for several hours, I'm in effing agony.

With drugs, I should add.

Saturday was a manic bloody day :-(

And to add to my misery, the clocks went back last night (I say last night, I've been awake since half three, it's now half five... "Tonight" would be more accurate) and while people say "Oh this is the GOOD one, we gain an hour" it's actually horse crap if you're an Insomniac. Forward or Back, it sucks when you can't sleep.

Back: You aren't sleeping, it's all shit. And you watch the clock go Midnight, 0100, 0200 then clicks back to 0100, then 0200, 0300... ANOTHER hour of not sleeping!

Forward: You aren't sleeping, it's all shit. And you watch the clock go Midnight, 0100, 0200 then it clicks forward to 0300, then 0400, 0500... An hour GONE that you will never get back and have lost sleep.

But I digress.

As is usual when in the wilds of Devon, phone sign is, shall we say, a bit naff. Inside the cottage and it's three-feet-thick walls, there is zero signal. Zip. Nada. Outside it comes and goes, depending on where I am on Dartmoor. Luckily, inside the cottage, I will have WiFi, so if you want to chat, install WhatsApp.

Side Note: Do not bother with BBM for Android. It's rubbish, slow, doesn't run well, doesn't actually communicate with every BlackBerry user (which is a joke really) and generally sucks. Honestly, if you want something like it on either iPhone or Android, install WhatsApp or Kik Messenger. BlackBerry needs to realise they are past it, over the hill and crap. There's a reason it's popular with kids... Because they should be counted as a toy.

Anyways, yes, Devon.

I'll probably post the odd photo on my blog or through Instagram... I'll have my laptop too so if I'm indoors vegging out, I may even play some Warcraft or Diablo.

Assuming the storm doesn't knock out the power down there which is quite likely, apparently. Sitting in the quiet, by candle light, with nothing to do except read or talk? WOW the kids are in for a shock!



(Posted from my Sony Xperia Z - excuse typos, strange formatting and similar oddities)

It's About Time

You are correct. The time-stamp on this post is indeed around 0430. Not only am I awake, but I am also showered and dressed. I've even done my hair. And I've been awake since just after 2am.

Which sums up this post, which was going to be a "So, how am I doing" kinda post.

From sleeping, to daily life, to getting on with life, to doing normal life stuff - everything is a bloody struggle.

My insomnia is still kicking me three ways to Sunday (and I don't sleep Sunday either) and I get more and more tired, until I crash out mid-afternoon on the sofa, get woken and put to bed in the early evening, and sleep right through till mid-morning the following day. The last couple of nights, Kellie has been having nightmares, fidgeting around, muttering in her sleep and generally NOT sleeping well - which has, in turn, made me sleep less-well.

I highly believe she is giving me a taste of my own medicine, but she claims not to be... But the jury is still out.

Pain-wise, my patches are kinda sorta working still. I say "Kinda Sorta" in that I am still in pain, but it is mostly manageable, providing I don't do very much at all. Which is to say, I still can't not do very much at all. Things need doing, stuff needs tidying, housework needs ploughing through, people need feeding... The "Don't Do Much" rule is so difficult to enforce, so I just sort of get on with it.

Which sucks.

Moods are still all over the place, some days I can be happy and cheery, sometimes completely paranoid, other days I just want to kill someone, and others I just want to sit in bed and sob - which I can't do, as I don't have the time to just sit. For the most part, I put on my happy face and go through life as normal... Unhealthy, maybe, but I can't just fall to bits in a corner.

Obviously at this point, it goes without saying that clearly my therapy is not working. I am also refraining from being completely honest about my physiotherapist and his plan for me, but needless to say, from second one of meeting him, he did not like me, spoke down to me, treated me like something he had stepped in - so all respect for him and everything he had to say went straight out the window. His Gradual Exercise Therapy plan can shove itself up his arse, frankly. I've tried it, it made me feel like complete shit, but if he's not willing to listen and just disregard me, then so be it.

Lucky for me, the few people that have stuck by me through the moods, the moaning, the miserable days - those that haven't just disappeared or decided we can't be friends for whatever reason - thank you. I know I am not the easiest person to get along with some days, and I know that my behaviour or actions might seem like I am just being a complete dick sometimes, but those that put up with it, listened and understand, they are the ones I want around me anyway.

Quite how Kellie puts up with it is beyond me, if I am honest. Quite often, she gets in from work, and because I'm having a shit day - either physically or mentally, or both - she ends up having to sort the kids out, cook dinner and look after me too, all after a long stressful day at work. She's my little star.

And it doesn't stop there... Because MY medical stuff isn't all she is dealing with... No no, she has her own fun mixed-bag of crap going on too, which has also been stressing me out...

You may recall her being ill in the past. First off, her chest/heart going wonky, causing some of the symptoms of a heart attack. Secondly, you will probably remember her Triglyceride milarky - the different kind of cholesterol in your body... Well, back then a "normal" reading was around 2.0, and hers shot up to 21-point-something. Oops, bad.

She was thrown onto all kinds of medication, some of which made her go all strange and odd and funny, so they changed it, and over the following months, her Triglyceride levels slowly came down.

Then - because she's a woman and knows best - she decided she was cured, and fixed and better, and stopped her medication.

A few weeks ago, her chest was going mental again, really screwing around.. So the GP sent her for more blood tests, and that very same day the surgery called, she had to get there NOW. After work, she trundled to the doctors, and low-and-behold, her triglycerides had shot up again, breaking the 21-point-something record, and now at 27-point-something-else.

Oops, MORE bad.

So, a rushed appointment to a lipid specialist was booked, and we sat down to see her and work a plan of action. So we're sat in the hospital, and the following conversation takes place:

Doc: We need to get this down now, because quite how you've not had a stroke or heart attack is beyond me.
Kellie: Ah.
Me: *glares at Kellie*
Doc: And you know, being diabetic makes this worse too.
Kellie: *blinks and looks at me*
Me: *blinks, looks at Kellie, is about to go off on a "Bloody hospital has the wrong notes" rant*
Kellie: *cutting me off* But I am not diabetic.
Doc: *flicks through the notes* Yes. Yes you are. Your blood tests show it.
Kellie: Ah.

Basically, we've gone into hospital with a list of problems, and she has left with additional problems.

And more medication.

She also got told off for taking herself off the medication. Long story short (too late) the meds she is are, she is on for LIFE.

I am also quite sure and of the opinion, that the fact such a high level of stuff in her blood can cause heart attack or stroke, I suspect this is the reason for her wonky heart stuff. The doc has put down the Triglycerides as a Familial problem - even though no one else in the family has it, as the doctor said, it has to start somewhere. So a genetic cock-up is to blame.

Which also means Dom & Molly need to be tested too.

 Yes folks, it is all fun and games in this household. Today and tomorrow, the six of us are getting our eyes tested too... Place your bets on how many additional people will require glasses by the end of the week.

Cloudy

I have no idea what is going on, or whether it's an after-affect of being so happy following the wedding, but things this last week have just seem... hard.

To start with the positive, the painkilling patches I have been on seem to be working quite well. They are called BuTrans, and the main ingredient is Buprenorphine. Reading the literature and information about them makes them seem a little... scary... BUT they are working. I'm no longer taking Co-Codamol which is something.

The side-effects are manageable, and nothing new to me really. Cotton-Mouth, stomach problems, hot-to-cold flushes, plus various other issues - not to mention my skin flaring up under the patch - which has to be worn for seven days. Because I'm a big fat fatty, and because I seem to be doing stuff all the time, I get hot and sweaty which makes the patches peel a little, so we've been experimenting with different kinds of tape to hold it in place. The best so far seems to be a tape called Transpore. Everything else peels off within a short space of time after re-fixing, but the transpore holds for a day and a half at least.

My pain levels are more manageable, back to being below my levels of Functioning/Non-Functioning.

Other than that, everything feels like it's on top of me at the moment. I can't put my finger on any one thing, but lots of things bother me, piss me off, upset me. My energy levels are still fluctuating, so some days I can't do anything where-as other days I can potter around and do whatever I can - till I crash and burn.

Different people have upset me or pissed me off, and part of me wants to rant and rave about it, but I won't. I've kept myself busy, or my brain as occupied as I can when I am feeling crappy, but even then it wanders off and I end up pissed off.

So, I've been doing my own thing, ignoring the people bitching at/about me, not reading through Facebook or Twitter, not posting anything on there, even neglecting my blog - which I am hoping to stop doing. You will even notice the webcam is back on, pointing out the window, watching the world go by...

All in all, I am doing my own thing, trying to keep up with the kids, trying to keep up with the house, trying to get my brain focused and off of things that bring me down. I've spent this morning re-installing Jaysens laptop, while watching Star Wars, while waiting for a delivery (new battery for my laptop! Woohoo!) and debating if I can be bothered to eat or not.

Yes, I am alive, I'm here, and pottering around as best I can.

Chaos in the House

You will be forgiven for thinking that when it comes to Chez 0ddness, Chaos is a given; part of the wood-work, part of daily life, part of the very fabric of the home.

You'd be wrong.

See, there is chaos-chaos, and there is Chaos. Obviously, I am talking of the latter. Chaos-Chaos is kids, pets, woman, housework and general shenanigans. Chaos, however, is when there are strangers in the house, power tools in the house, building, repairs and bomb-hit-it-appearances that cause me to stress out.

First off, as the wise man Hubert Farnsworth once said will say - Good News Everyone! After over seven years, we have a fence! When it first went plooey, I started chasing for it to be repaired, then it got worse, and I had to chase for it to be replaced. I was fobbed off, jerked around, lied to and generally messed around. I gave up after a while, chasing it every now and then until late last year when I finally snapped - and sent a properly shitty email to them.

Within a week, I had a case worker who was very interested in not only the fence, but any and all issues I had with the home. So I asked her for a week, and at the end of that week, she was presented with a laundry-list of every little issue I had with the place. Cracks here, peeling stuff there, missing that, broken that, and so on...

And to her credit, she did not once tell me where to stick it. She went through it all item by item, and over the last six weeks or so, I've had a bloke turning up, fixing something, buggering off, then coming back a week later, fixing something else... Over and over.

But finally, the two bigger items... The Garden Fence, and the Downstairs Banisters.

Now, as I write this, the banisters are still a work in progress - I am sitting here writing this blog post in an attempt to distract me from the sheer volumes of stress going on behind me.

The fencing, however... The fencing is done. I was so excited that it was getting done, and the weather has been so nice this week, I didn't take into account what makes Britain so... British.

The rain.

Last night, it started to rain, and carried on and off through the night, and was pissing down this morning when the contractors arrived. I have no rear access to the house, so they had to take everything they needed through the house, and were in and out as they progressed through the building. Each trip delivering more and more mud, clay, gravel and dust onto the floor. The first two hours saw the dust sheets soaked through and sort of pointless.

By about 1pm, they were done...

From this:

Guys on site

To this:

Finally, privacy! Kellie I can now sunbathe topless!

Of course, the downside to this is the mud and crap throughout the downstairs...

This is currently the state of my downstairs hallway/back room. Made worse now, by the added layer of several inches of sawdust.

And I kid you not about the sawdust. When he first started cutting up wood - on the middle-floor hallway with open banisters - it started to snow through the banisters and downstairs. And now, he's cutting wood downstairs as well...

That is just the start of Sawdust Hell 2013... It's even worse downstairs.

Of course, with all this sawdust, plus the carpenter in and out to the van still, I can't sweep/hoover/mop the downstairs. For one, he's still making more sawdust. For two, it'll just stick to the wet floor anyway. So I have to wait until he's done. Until then, he's still using his circular saw, hammer, power drill, hammering more...

It's going to take Kellie me hours to clean this mess up.

And now - the kids have started coming home.

When Insomnia Strikes

Usually with my insomnia, I can find no reason for it to happen. I don't lay in bed stewing on things, I don't lay in bed planning my life, I don't lay in bed dwelling on the past... But sometimes, I DO find things that keeps my brain rattling in the skull...

As you may have guessed, I am writing this during a bout of insomnia. And as you may have also guessed, I can place the reason for it...

I'm dwelling on all things Wedding.

No, I'm not worrying about it, just have lots of things running around in my head. Have to do this, have to figure this out, have to arrange this, can we afford this... Most people seem to think the Groom's job is just to turn up on time, but as Kellie (who has been snoring beside me ALL night long) and I are planning and arranging everything ourselves, I have slightly more to do than just show up.

Our original wedding plans came to a grinding halt in December, when we were hit with some big bills. No, we didn't publicise it, and no, we weren't going begging. Financially, our planned wedding was looking very unlikely. On top of all our health issues, it was too much, and we set about canceling it all together. I was pissed off and miserable, and tried to go about my business.

By mid-March, we decided to change the plan somewhat... Granted, we couldn't have the big wedding ceremony we wanted, but we could still get married at a Registry Office. This, of course, meant completely reworking the wedding guest list, and a serious culling occurred. Then we've had to look at alternatives for the meal, the evening Reception, the venue, caterers...

As well as this, Kellie now has just under the months to sort out her wedding dress, I've got to work out my outfit, then the boys and girls with us need clothing as well. Then there's the rings, the cake, the cars, the entertainment, not to mention the invites we've got to get made up (by us!) then posted, then sort the RSVP's.

The list is seemingly endless, and all I can do is think about things that need doing. Which means despite my best efforts, sleep is currently a big No-No. I've tried everything this night, but to no avail - the grey matter is running hot.

And I need to get my hair sorted!

I'm sure that as the days tick by, things will fall into place and can be crossed off the lists that are slowly building up... Hopefully the basics will be covered, and anything missing, meh, so be it. We're doing our day for us, with minimal drama and politics. If people don't like it, so be it - the exits are clearly marked.

Watch this space for future episodes, including "Shit, These Trousers Don't Fit" and "Oh My God I Ordered The Wrong Type Of Voulevant" and my personal favorite "I Look Hideous In This, I'm Not Going"

And a word to the wise - send back the RSVP.

Playing Catchup

As has been noticed by one or two of you, Chez 0ddness has been rather... quiet... of late. Don't worry, no, it isn't you, it's me.

Usually by the middle of March, I am feeling better and cheerier and more "me" after my Winter Gloomy Pants... This year, however, I have not bounced back as much as I had would have liked. Facebook has been ignored, 0ddness has been collected dust, Twitter has been smouldering in the background - even my WhatsApp has been somewhat ignored.

February was, to put it mildly, rubbish. I can't go on Facebook because - and take this however you want to take it - but I cannot abide seeing everyone posting photos of their heart child laying in ICU with pipes, tubes and wires covering them. It's a bridge too far for me, so I have to stay away. There is little worse than scrolling through peoples updates, and suddenly having one of those kinds of pictures emblazoned across my screen.

But I digress...

On top of all this, I've been attending my Therapy and Physio appointments, and I have to say, despite the fact I am trying I can't see the point in them. The Physio is trying to get me to "Normalise" my day, and my Therapist keeps getting me to do flow charts and stuff for "bad thoughts" which just make me end up more confused than when I started.

There seems to have been a constant stream of "stuff" going on in the house this last six weeks - probably longer if I'm honest - but it's all slowly coming to fruition. Those of you that have been reading 0ddness since the Dark Ages will remember that the storms in 2006 blew the living piss out of my fence, and it has been in pieces since then - despite chasing the landlords to get it sorted, and for them to suddenly announce "Not our responsibility any more" I've been chasing them since December... Last week, I snapped, and sent them a long email telling them exactly what I thought of them, and to make matters MORE interesting, I pointed out every little flaw in the house that has been pissing me off - dodgy woodwork, dodgy floor tiles, peeling ceilings - they got it, and then some.

That was Friday. On Monday, I had a phone call from one of the Managers there, all apologies, booked to come to the house to discuss ALL my issues (with the house!) on the following Thursday... And they turned up! I was half expecting them to not to bother, but gold stars all around, a senior manager and her boss spent an hour and a half listening to me rant and rave, point out everything that is shit, and they agreed with me - on everything.  I waited for the catch, they emailed to confirm everything I said was in need of rectification, and a phone call the Monday after that confirming all works would be carried out throughout April.

Including the fence repair.

In other news, this weekend - in an effort to have a little break and chill out - we're heading to Kellies brothers place, 1 A Cottage, The Middle of Nowhere, Devon. You may remember my posts about this place when we helped James move in, not to mention the Helicopter Crash in their garden, and the Earthquake... See here for those posts!

But yes - tomorrow we head into London, then off to Devon for five days. So so can't wait.

On top of this, as has been alluded to on Facebook, I have a new phone! Actually, we both have a new phone each, but thanks to the 0dd Mother in Law, we have shiny new Sony Xperia Z's. And yes, we have new mobile numbers - if you need them, just shout.

And again, yes, I will do a proper review-type-thingie once I've had time to play with it and fiddle around with it. So far: It's massive, gorgeous, and fast!

I'm sure there is more and plenty of stuff I've missed, skipped, glossed or downright ignored... It may or may not come to me, let alone appear on the blog. But, I am alive, and following the wise words of Dory.

Kellie: Still Not Dead (Somehow)

For those of you that have been listening/reading to me prattle on for the last 24 hours, you will know that this morning, Kellie has had yet another medical appointment in regards to her Cardiac Shenanigans. And her Triglyceride Hilarity.

For the previous instalment of "Limited-Days-Of-Her-Life" feel free to read the mini-update in the middle of this post here, or additionally you can see more of her nastiness going on in this post too.

After dragging myself from the bed and into the shower, out again, getting dried and dressed, we trundled out into Deepest Darkest Basildonia. Full of Basildonians it was, too. But we got to the hospital forty minutes early. A nurse called her in and did some preliminary bits, and then they wanted her to have an ECG... For which the nurse made her get completely topless.

Not that I am one to complain, of course.

That done, we went and sat back in the waiting room for ten minutes, and the doctor called her in. At least, *a* doctor called her in. Not the man we were expecting to see, but an SHO - which, of course, was unsurprising. Seeing your actual consultant when it comes to medical things is a rarity at the best of times - as Kellie was walking, breathing and talking (and talking and talking...) she probably didn't hit the flags for seeing the man named on her letter.

The doc we saw (and his two students) was nice enough, and very thorough... However, little dingly-dangly bells were sounding when, despite us being there for Cardiac Arrhythmia, Cardiac Palpitations, and being in the Cardiac Department, the first thing he wanted to know about was...

Her cholesterol?

So - as is the normal for anything long-term-medical in this country - we had to explain what was going on, the last 2-3 years of medical history, things that have happened, doctors and procedures she's been through... BUT, as we pointed out several times, we were here for her cardiac stuff, not her Triglycerides.

Now, I will digress from this point, and go out on a limb and suggest that her Cardiac stuff, and stupidly-high-triglycerides are somehow related. I don't know how, and I am not entirely sure I am certain, but they have been two problems together from around the same sort of time - it was her cardiac stuff originally that prompted a blood test, and that blood test is the one that came back with the numbers through the roof: Her blood test showed her Triglycerides to be 21.6, which, in US terms is (apparently!) over 1900. A "Very High" rating over here is anything over 6.5.

Hence the blood test lab calling the GP directly.

Back to today:

So we tell the doctor about all the Cardiac stuff, and he actually does appear to listen and understand what we're saying, our worries and concerns and everything else. He flicks through the (worryingly) small pile of notes, none of which appears to show the fact a Paramedic attending one of her worst cardiac events, nor did it show that another of these events prompted me to drag her to A&E where the doctor there was more worried she was having a heart attack.

He goes over her ECG - which is, as usual, normal, because as we've told them over and over - her problems are intermittent, not constant - and he agrees with us, and proceeds to order a seven-day cardiac monitor to try and catch it.

At one point he did try to, shall we say, press her into going back onto Statins. Now, I may have mentioned it elsewhere, but not long after Kellie started on these statins, she changed. It's hard to explain how, but she lost interest in things, in family, in friends, in hobbies... Now, despite there being no official link between statins affecting a persons character, a quick search of Google will show countless reports of people suffering the same side-effect. They start the drug, their personality changes, they come off the drug, they slowly come back to normal. We managed to get her off the statins a while ago, and onto Ezetimibe (like a statin, but NOT a statin, and just as good apparently), plus high doses of Niacin which is also very good for combating lipids/triglycerides/cholesterol, and high-doses of Omega-3.

Like I said, he tried to get her back on statins, but she refused - we're not willing to go through that again. So instead, he's stopped the Ezetimibe and Omega-3, and started her on Fenofibrate... And while we're not officially dieting any more, we're going to be back to "more mindful" of what we eat. However, since being back on Slimming World, I do tend to cook most things from scratch anyway - just going to increase the amount of vegetables and oily fish in her diet.

Simples.

All in all, it did go quite well, though I think Kellie was hoping more for "This is what is wrong, this is how we're going to fix it" even though I did sort of pre-warn her this morning to not get her hopes up and that they may not have answers after an Xray, ECG and Echo.. BUT hopefully now we have a doctor that is A) Understand, and B) Paying attention, coupled with C) our GP who is very good anyway, I am pretty sure that we are getting somewhere... YES, it is taking a while, but if this medication reduces her levels better than the Statin or the Ezetimibe, that's one thing... If the reduced triglycerides seem to have a positive affect on her in a cardiac sense, then that shows the two are hand-in-hand. Lastly, the seven-day monitoring she will have (aside from being HILARIOUS for me, and I am sure, for the blokes at work) I am hoping will show the events that she suffers with - the arrhythmia, the palpitations, and what it is - if anything - that is triggering them, then even better.

I'm hopeful that, finally, she's on the right track, and that the meds and monitor and the doctor will make a difference. As a sign that they're not worried about her (like, worried-worried) her next appointment isn't for six months. At least, it SHOULD be six months - however, the clinic doesn't have any appointments till...

July 2013.

Guess who's going to be calling up every few weeks to pester for an earlier appointment!

Big thanks to everyone that messaged in some form or another to wish her well and all the best, and for those of you that have kept me entertained - it's that or have a nervous breakdown!

To Coin A Phrase (Sorta) Pt. Four

OK, yes, another month has kind of skidded by, leaving me stood at the side of the road, covered in dust, wondering "What the buggery just happened?!"

First off - and most obviously - yes, the 0ddness WebCam is back and broadcasting. It'll be on most of the time, probably poked out the front window watching the (boring) world go by. I might - for a bit of variety every now and then - move it elsewhere. No idea where, but you get my point ;)

If you can't get it to work, there is a good chance you need a plugin for your browser. Click on the Camstreams link under the video, go to their FAQ/Support section, and you'll find a download link.

So what else has been going on? Well, for a change of pace... Chaos, mostly. Weekend before last, Kellie had this really good idea of switching our room with the living room. A good idea, as it meant more space in the family room, a good idea, as it meant I don't have to fight with stairs during the day.

However.

When Kellie first moved in, the original plan was to have the living room where it is NOW, and our bedroom where it is NOW. I say NOW because the furniture has all been moved around, and it was hell on earth.

Hell. On. Earth.

Had Kellie listened to me in the first place, etc etc.

The Saturday & Sunday it "happened" was a bloody nightmare of moving stuff, cleaning stuff, hoovering, sweeping, sorting through junk, lugging stuff up and down stairs - it was complete and utter chaos.

Which, let's be honest, seems to be the theme here.

It took both Saturday and Sunday to get some semblance of order, and it wasn't till Monday that I had the network rewired and back up and running. On the plus side, I now have my own little Man Corner in the house where I can get up to all sorts of shenanigans should the mood take me.

Yes, I have a broken chair. No, I don't have a new one, but I'll survive - it's not like I spend that long sitting there anyway. Mrs Laptop & Myself spend a lot of time together on the sofa...

Rude.

Other than that, the house is still recovering from the big reshuffle, so there are random items in random places all over the house. For instance, the laundry basket to the left of my desk...

The kids are all doing brilliantly now they're back at school - the boys both worked the school open evening, and the girls have both settled into their classes - Molly in the last year of Juniors, Tamsyn in the first year of Juniors...

Scary stuff.

And me... Yes, well... The less said the better really. I'm doing my best to stay positive, keep my happy face on and keep pushing through everything that is thrown my way, but I can't help but feel like I'm being punished for something I've done in a previous life. I keep thinking I'll turn a corner and see that things are brighter, but each corner I turn seems to have more crap hiding behind it, and it's wearing me very thin...

Still, I'm not throwing in the towel yet.. As a wise woman fish once said, Just Keep Swimming...

To Coin A Phrase (Sorta) Pt. Two

(Part The Second) So, aside from Heart-Attack Sherlock doing her thing, what else has been going on in Chez 0ddness? Well, as a small point, it has been the school Summer Holidays here, which can only mean one thing. Well, two actually...

One, Kellie suddenly finds more overtime to do at work, and Two, the kids are present for six and a half weeks, full time.

Are the two linked? I believe they might be, and if memory serves, the same phenomenon occurred last year too...

Hmmm...

So anyway, this year wasn't quite so bad, in that I didn't actually get blinded by my son. All good so far. In addition to this, we were down one child the whole holiday - on Day One of the holidays, we took Dom into London and threw him on a train to Devon, where he was met at the other end by Kellies brother. This wasn't just an exercise in child abuse, no no, Dom had arranged to work in their pub for the duration of the holidays to get himself some cash.

Because he's a tart that loves him some brand names on his pants or something.

But I digress.

With Dom safely left in the care of a stranger driving a large lump of metal, we decided that us (Kellie and I) would take the remaining kids (three) and the 0dd Mother In Law to see the relatives of the latter... Or, rather, we went to the natural history museum to look at the dinosaurs.

Now, on our list of "Things That Are Probably Not That Smart" this ranked in quite highly, mainly because we were in Jolly ol' London the weekend before the start of the Olympic Games.

Oops.

To say it was "a weeny bit busy" was an understatement, and as the day wore on, more and more people seemed to arrive not only in London, but within the vicinity of standing on my feet.

The tubes were packed (much to the joy of the walking panic-attack that is Kellie) and the museum was heaving with people (it took 45 minutes just to get in!), and apparently everyone wanted to see the relatives of the 0dd Mother in Law as much as we did. And most people seemed to decide that using my FOOT was the best way to get a good view.

I admit, I nearly threw some people into the jaws of the dinos.

And that was just the first weekend!

During the holidays, we alternated between one childs (Molly), or three childs (The aforementioned Molly, plus Jaysen & Tamsyn), and every now and then, one would be off elsewhere, or two would be off out... Throughout the entire six-weeks, we had ONE child-free night, and that was on the last weekend!

Otherwise, we did plenty... We went to nature days at Wat Tyler, we spent time at the lakes, we played at our stream, we wandered over Langdon Hills, we went to see friends and family here and there, we had a few nights out too...

Time, however, was just not on our side, and everything we wanted to do was just not possible... Between me having to make sure I was able to do stuff, or Kellie conveniently working, or - and the biggest hurdle of them ALL - the weather being completely and utterly shite... Our to-do list, while having many things crossed off, was not completed once again.

The weather was f$cking awful though - it rained pretty much the entire time, dry days were actually just "It's going to rain at any minute" days, and while we DID manage a few nice days, they were few and far between.

O-o-oh! And we had a couple of barbecues, during which I was in charge of the FIRE each time. And NO ONE received any medical help, bandaging or anything... I didn't even set fire to myself.

Though, I did get an awful burn on the first weekend, but that was a pan handle left over a flame that I grabbed.

Ow.

And there you have it, another manic summer holiday for us lot... I won't cover the mosquito bites, the exploring dark tunnels, the "we're not lost, we just don't know where we are" walkabout, or any other shenanigans that might have occurred...

Not in this post, anyway ;)