St. Georges Day

Nothing like a bit of controversy on a Monday morning... But today over here (and in several different countries around the world) today is St. Georges Day. First off, I will be ignorant and state what I assumed today was about..

But St Georges Day is about being English, celebrating England, flying the flag and generally being proud of our heritage. I often ranted and raved at the schools on St Georges Day as they never taught the kids about it...

However.

On reading and educating myself this morning, the ONLY thing that makes St Georges Day anything relating to being English, is the St Georges Cross, that was adopted as our flag. NOTHING about St George is about celebrating being English...

First off, he wasn't English. Nor British. Not even from (what is now) the United Kingdom. In fact, he's not even European. Syria Palaestina. A Roman soldier no less, and a saint in three churches. And after reading and re-reading the historical background of his history, it would appear he never even came to England... The only reason we use the St George Cross for our flag is

The St. George's flag, a red cross on a white field, was adopted by England and the City of London in 1190 for their ships entering the Mediterranean to benefit from the protection of the Genoese fleet during the Crusades and the English Monarch paid an annual tribute to the Doge of Genoa for this privilege.

In short, we used it as a "We've paid the toll to come in here, please don't sink us" marker!

So why is he the patron saint of England, exactly?

I suspect it's because he is a venerated saint in the Anglican church, and that the royal family started using him as their patron saint in the 14th Century...

Which brings me to the next question... Do all the people that are Anti-Religion and Anti-Monachy know this? Do some of these fricking nutters like the English Defense League know this? These people are almost rabid racists, marching against whichever race they don't like each week... PLEASE let me be the one to tell the EDL that their flag belongs to someone from the Middle East that never set foot in our Country.

I am sure this entry will probably piss people off. I am sure people will pick holes in it. That's fine, go nuts. I'm not being anti English - I'm not being anti-ANYTHING in fact. If you want to make a point, go for it.

Pick 'n' Mix

For the benefit of those deprived not of this Country, I should explain the basics of a Pick & Mix, on the off-chance they don't exist where-ever you might be.

Imagine a row of small boxes, containers, shelves-with-containers, all containing a different kind of sweet. Aniseed Balls, Cough Candy, Eclairs, Love Hearts, Candy Peanuts, Mint Imperials, White Mice, Jazzies, Dolly Mixtures, Jelly Strawberries, Cola Bottles, Fizzy Bottles, Jelly Babies, Dummies... The list is endless.

As a child, I used to go from item to item, two of those, three of those, one of those - and put them all into a little bag. At the end, you got the bag weighed, and paid whatever it came to. Back then, it was fingers, but more modern times you have a small scoopy-thing to use.

Before they decided to lose all their money, the place everyone went for their pick n mix was Woolworths - a big chain of shops that sold everything from toys to clothes to sweets, CDs, Tapes, Videos, DVDs...

But they went bust a few years back now.

So - we have the basics of a Pick & Mix. It's not what you would call "Rocket Science"

Now, fast forward a few years. Dan is now a grown up pre My-Spine-Is-Fooked, I worked with some friends doing Shop Fitting. Fitting, not lifting.

This involved going to work in the early evening - usually travelling far and wide - arriving at a shop after it closed, where the staff had cleared all the shelves. We then waded in, and effectively smashed the place up. Everything had to be broken down, stripped out, floor lifted, walls cleared and ready to be rebuilt by the next crew.

And the main customer was Woolworths. Now, pulling down shelving that has been up for well over fifteen, twenty - even twenty five years in some cases - was always good for a laugh. We found everything, from clothing, money, rubbish, and dust.  Dust bunnies the size of dogs. Spiders the size of big dogs. Rodents. Vile looking stains that had grown their own ecosystem of moulds, fungi and weather systems.

In short, underneath old, unmoved shelving was completely gross.

Slap bang in the middle of every shop, we invariably got to the pick and mix stand. After the first few times, we LOVED this, because every time, we were so grossed out it was hilarious.

And every time, the same shit happened.

Step one: we would heft the shelving out the way.
Step two: we would be greeted with a miasma of vileness.
Step three: the staff would swoop in before we cleared the crap out the way and collect all the sweets laying on the floor amongst the shit.

I kid you not, dear reader. Before we could start to shift out the disgusting mess, the staff had to collect every single item that was a sweetie underneath the shelves, and sift through them. Stuff that was no longer on sale was dropped back onto the floor. Stuff that was still "current" was blown off, and added BACK to the pile of stock.

Fill your mouth with air. Purse your lips. Blow.  THAT is the limit of cleaning the sweets received before being placed back into active service.

Now, I need to elaborate on the levels of vileness that these sweets had spent an un-named amount of time sitting in. Aside from thick black dust, cobwebs like rugs, dead spiders and random fluff, we saw dead rodents, spillages that had not been cleaned, dirty rags, general rubbish that had blown under, dried out or even wiggling maggots, mold, damp, water damage...

The list goes on and on.

After calling the staff on it, we were told that it is common practise, not just among Woolworths, but LOTS of shops that sell pick and mix do the same thing as the sweets are sold per weight, so losing/throwing them away affects profits.

I am hoping with every fibre of my body that this "practise" no longer happens. I am hoping that as this was at least ten years ago, things have changed, and it no longer happens. BUT, I am not holding my breath - especially for the sole-traders and little shops out there that NEED to turn a profit.

So there we have it - when your favourite blogger is offered pick & mix sweets, he politely declines. Turkish Delight with hint of Rat Fur is not on my list of om-nom-nommy things to munch on.

And if you ever get a chance to see a shop-fitting happen, you should - just to see what accumulates underneath shelving after a few decades.

Things Aren't What They Used To Be #2 - Manners

Something that really bothers me while out in the wilds, is how people seem to think it's now OK to have less manners.

Back when I were nowt but a lad (in days gone by...) pretty much everyone said Please and Thank You, said Good Morning to people, gave up seats on the bus/train for the elderly, preggers or even just a lady without a seat, and offered help if it looked like it was needed.

Now, my kids aren't perfect (and the first person that claims they have perfect kids, I dub thee Liar Liar) and they do forget their manners every now and then, but for the most part, they are intact.  And, to be fair, a good majority of kids I know, friends kids and suchlike - they have manners too.  However, it would seem that most people of ALL ages have sort of given up.

No, I'm not going to single out the young shits in the world, this is across the whole spectrum of the population - kids, teens, young adults, proper adults, and oldies.

I don't know why, but I noticed so much of it today, I had to sigh and shake my head.  On the bus to school, a little old lady was struggling with her shopping trolley, so I jumped up and helped her with it.  Not a thanks, a smile, a nod, a grunt.  OK, fine.  Then on the way home again, a mum with a toddler was without a seat on a bus - so I got up and gave her mine.  She sat and didn't even acknowledge that I had given her my seat.  I suspect if I'd gotten up to pick up something, she'd have jumped in it.

The lollypop lady (crossing guard to you American sorts) that I chat with stood in the middle of the road today, holding back cars and trucks, letting a stream of young teens cross safely.  The only thanks she got were from Jaysen, Tam and myself.  She might as well have been invisible to the rest.

Sometimes, you really have to wonder at the mentality of people - even back in time and the various episodes I'd spend in London, people were so busy going about their business, rushing from A to B, that if you were in their way, you might as well have thrown yourself to the ground, because that's pretty much what they seem to want from you.  They'd barge past, hurrying along, even to the point of bumping you into the road.  Not a sorry, pardon me, excuse me, nothing...

Now surely... surely this isn't just because I am getting old, because EVERYONE seems to be doing it, young and old alike.  It would seem that we, as the human race, have suddenly decided "You know what, I'm going to be an asshat today" and just gotten on with their lives, looking out for #1 in all things.

A couple of weeks back, we sat talking with James (who, incidentally got the Bronze in the MAI Kickboxing Championships - go say Hi!) in Kellies living room, talking about the attitude of the world today.  Everyone wants everything, and they want everything now.  No waiting, no patience, gimmie it all this instant.  It's like someone's introduced the genetic code for a spoiled toddler into the water system.  Fast Food, Broadband, Games, downloading what I want when I want where I want how I want, no time for exercise or diet, I'll just get surgery and strap on some electrical shock device to train my muscles.  TV in Demand, Movies on Demand, Pause and Rewind Live TV, Record entire TV shows and watch them...

Manners, it would seem, have been pushed out and left by the wayside. 

And the next time an old coot rides over my foot in her mobility scooter, I smack them across the wrinkled arse if I don't get a sorry!

Things Aren't What They Used To Be #1 - Kids

In what I envisage to be the first of a semi-regular posting, "Things Aren't What They Used To Be" aka "I'm Getting Old" I will take stuff from when I was growing up and compare it to the same sort of thing in this fangled day and age.

Now, don't get me wrong, but I am fully aware that there are things NOW that are better than THEN.  So don't jump up and down on that aspect.

Anyway, this is a rather broad umbrella, comparing the Kids of old with the Kids of today.  Quite often I'll talk with people around my age that are at a loss with the kids now.

Again, I know there is stuff that we had better back in the day, but still ;)

Firstly, you get lots of "health experts" discussing how kids are eating junk food, and are fat and unhealthy.  I've already solved it - it's the implementation that will be hard.  Get Junior OFF the Playstation, the Xbox, the Wii - whatever - and get them outside in the fresh air.

As a kid, me and my friends - Kellie included - would get up early on a Saturday, and make subtle banging sounds in the house so the parents woke up equally early.  We'd have breakfast, get dressed, shout out "CYA!" and run out the front door.  And the parents would hardly see us till dinner time that night.  We'd climb trees, build camps in the bushes, run around playing tag or run-outs or seeing how fast we can run around the block...

If the weather was shite, we'd still be out, maybe in the alleyway (which isn't as dark and dreary as it sounds!) or in a friends house - or even with all the friends invading your own house!  We'd be playing with Star Wars figures or Lego or Meccano.  The thought of seeing what was on the TV never even entered our minds.  And those of us that were lucky enough to have computers, it wasn't worth putting on a game as A) It took too long to load, and B) There was no such thing as Multi-player back then!

On top of this, we had respect for everyone living around us.  Sure we didn't like certain neighbours, and there were grumpy old men nearby - but if they said "stop making so much noise!" we'd mutter about the grumpy old man, but still quieten down or move off elsewhere.  Our friends parents could tell us off.  If we were misbehaving, your friends mum could tell you off, or give you a clip around the ear or - worst of all - use the phrase "That's it, I'm phoning your mum"

If we misbehaved, we were fair game - and at NO POINT would we consider putting in their windows or stabbing someone.

Mum always used the saying "No matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, there is someone that knows you watching" and it was true.  Even when in the middle of a forest attempting to build a camp fire, we'd get home and get the third degree.  Not that we ever got a fire going.  "There's no smoke without fire" is a complete load of rubbish.  We could get a pretty decent smoke going.  At a push, we could get a smoulder, but never a fire!

Of course, you go home smelling of wood/grass/paper smoke, and as far as the parents were concerned, we'd built a conflaguration and destroyed the known world.

Lastly, kids back then were so much tougher.  You'd fall, graze yourself, cut yourself, bruise - even break something - and for the most part, after a random parent was summoned (using the age-old tenent of "who is closest!") you'd get splashed in something that stinks and burns the cut - but go back out and play.

Showing off the latest cool injury of course!

And at no stage would someone use the words "sue for compensation"  You fell over, you were being a twat, you brushed yourself off, you moved on.  No suing the council for the uneven path.  No suing the neighbour over the branch  overhanging their fence, no suing the person who's tree you fell out of.

So, kids of today.  Go out and play.  Socialise with your friends in person.  Trip, fall, get muddy, get wet in the rain or a pond, ask your mum for a biscuit, and take one for yourself, and one for the dozen friends outside - but when mum questions you about it, tell her "but you said WE could have a biscuit!"

Life is much too short.