Random Points

• Blogger In Draft users - it seems that publishing a post, then editing and republishing makes it become a Wall o' Text - and you have to enter HTML Breaks where you need them.
• I was a brave boy at the dentist and didn't get a lollypop.
• Nor a sticker.
• I've been seeing Kellie as official "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" now for four weeks today. YAY!
  
• My mouth hurts.
• My back feels pretty pants too.
• I've had lots of people tell me the New Template = Pants on a Stick... So guess what I'll be fucking er, I mean breaking changing this week...
• The weather has been REALLY pants all day - but I've hardly noticed.
• Not even when I got soaked.
• Facebook has been really unstable of late and it's pee'ing me right off!
  

When Spiders Get Big

Spiders, as a rule, do not bother me. I can grab a spider, and save it from the threat of a boot, bug killer, hungry cat or whatever else might be looking to have a pop at the wee little arachnid.

There are exceptions, however. I am scared of snakes. Big, Small, Fat, Thin, Long, Short - blergh, evil nasty things. But spiders don't bother me. They do, however, bother Ruth, and over the weekend, she asked if I could help her with her garden. Not mainly because it's a tough job, but because it meant going into The Shed.

Yes, I capitalised. The Shed. Because it is evil. It's light and airy, but the cobwebs in there are enough to catch, say, Me. Which make you wonder, what on earth spins webs that size.

Ruth is scared of her shed because of this sort of thing...




I promise that this photo has not been altered in ANY way. Nor did I use any special photography equipment - that's taken with my phone... If you want, you can click to embiggen those pictures. But that is just one of the buggers I noticed while in there, which got me to thinking. If that bastard is sitting quietly by the door, waiting to grab you as you walk in, what about the ones you can't see.

As he came out from under his shovel - which is where he lives - I swear I could hear his boots clumping and his sleeves being rolled up. "Wot ya doin' in me shed then?"

I'm not a girl, but I didn't want to hang around in there. Mower, Strimmer, gerrout.

Of course, I fully understand that the spiders of, say, Australia are bigger, nastier and suchlike, but I make do with what I have. That's not saying the spiders over here are rubbish. Gemma got bitten by a spider once when she was little. Screamed blue murder about it. And, being that I am such a kind, compassionate and very very caring older brother, I laughed and took the piss out of her mercilessly for months.

Until I got into bed and got bitten by a spider. I spent ten minutes wondering if it was one of the urban legend spiders that come over in fruit or plants and kill people. Spiders bite dammit, poisonous or not!

So next time you're heading to the shed, remember, Fred and his mates are watching you, just biding their time...

It's Busy Bunny Me!

Fair to say there has not been much in the way of actual, bona fide content here on the blog for the past week... Or two.. ish. Also, it would be fair to say that I've been pretty much out of the loop in regards to keeping the world up to date on my mental health (or lack of), my physical health (or lack of), nor my normal, averagely boring day-to-day crap.

The reasoning behind all this is because I've been so fricking busy. Or, as Cassandra would say, "Oot an' Aboot" Or something similar - I usually screw up the spelling, but I am sure she'll throw something at me from the States ;)

For those that enjoy reading doom, gloom and suffering, then this post may well be something you won't enjoy reading. See, despite everything that has gone on over the last couple of months, I am doing good.

No, scratch that. I am rocking, kicking ass, winning, smiling, grinning... Dare I say it, but life is... Good. And I can't even thank blame my Happy Brain Medicine because I am sloooowly weaning myself off it. Granted, I'm not actually OFF it yet, and where as missing a dose a few months ago would see me twitching and zapping like the energiser bunny shorting out, I am now going three days between doses. Three! It's going to take time I think, and I'm dealing with some very interesting side effects by the end of day three, but I'm manly, I can cope ;)

I've been busy as a box of frogs trying to escape their prison. Mainly, I've been helping Ruth with various stuff - not that she's been slave-driving me. I had to say that. I can't deal with her moaning at me again. I offer to help with her garden, kitchen, shopping or whatever. Of course, on top of that, I've also had to deal with my personal favourite pass-time... The Rumourmill.

I know I've said it before, but people, here's a little peek into my head. Ruth has been a friend for many years. No, we're not doing the horizontal mumbo. No, we're not secretly a couple. No, I'm not using her to look after me, and No no no, she is not using me to help her out. Yes, she is a girl. Yes, I am a boy. When I say "I am going to have dinner at Ruths", that doesn't mean "I'm going to shag". It may have escaped the attention of a few persons, but pretty much ALL my friends are girlies. It just happens that Ruth lives *over there*. Next time the Web Cam is on, picture the scene - the Blood Red House of Death - his back garden pretty much joins onto Ruths back garden.

I'm not naming names, pointing at culprits or anything like that. But next time you ask, I will tell you what you want to hear, and then mock you when it comes back and bites your bum.

Anyways.

Last weekend saw me travelling to what I considered to be a local warzone of dodgy people. I freely admit I was wrong. If there is a war there, it's all completely hidden from the average passer-by (me). A few months back, I managed to find an oooold friend on Facebook. Or vice versa. I forget which, but still. When my Mum and StepDad moved us into Blackmores, (Oooh can see my garden and mums car!) the family next door had a daughter, Kellie, the same age as me. Kellie, Jay and Myself were the oldest of the pack of youngsters that travelled the local area, and we grew up together till she moved away in her mid-teens. We carried on seeing each other till our late teens, then slowly scattered to the winds.

Now, nearly 15 years later, we started chatting again and catching up. I was there Saturday afternoon till Sunday afternoon, talking till 4am, and then carrying on after a few hours sleep. Bringing one another up to speed on our lives, drinking beer, coffee, Jack Daniels, and most amusingly, chatting about the crap we used to get up to.

After comparing notes, I stand by my previous comment of "I'm amazed I'm not dead"

The very very strange thing though... I was wandering through town heading to the bus station, quite happily listening to my headphones to block out the "You effin' wanker, bitch moan piss come-and-have-a-go" Chavtastic shouting, when someone leapt from the shadows. On my way to see an old friend I've not seen for nearly 15 years, I am attacked by an old friend I've not seen for 15 years. Cassie always was mental, and still is. And yes, she reads this, and I would like to see her deny it ;)

Another topic of conversation over the weekend with Kellie, was the possibility of getting the old crowd back together. Over the last couple of months, I think I have found pretty much everyone that I used to terrorise the neighbourhood with. And I think it'd be a bloody laugh to all head out somewhere with our own kids and have a massive BBQ session or something. See how much trouble we can get into, and see how the kids compare!

Sort of a "We Made It!" celebration... I'm sure we can arrange something amusing...

When I am actually home, I am clearing up the chaos left by Jaysen, Tam or even yours truly. I blame the animals ;) I can't remember the last time I actually cooked in my own home, but you know, that's neither here nor there ;)

Since getting back onto Facebook, I've reduced the amount of Outgoing Pokage that I was dishing out, but it's still there. I even gained a few friends from the Save The Dan group! hehe I've also become rather, shall we say, addicted, to Twitter. If you have a mobile phone or live at your computer (or, in some peoples cases, both), then have a peek.

As for being a Singleton, I am completely at peace with whatever power it is that has decreed I should live as such. I talk to Jo every day or two, see her every now and then, and there is no weirdness, no tension... As I've said before, we are and pretty much always will be friends. Even with everything "behind the scenes" as it were, things aren't strained. I've said before, I saw it coming, I knew it would happen eventually, and so we're making the best of it as we can. The kids are quite happy with everything, and the "schedule" we've fallen into seems to be working pretty well. I have Jaysen Sunday evening till Wednesday when Tam turns up. Then it's me and the kids till Friday evening, when Jo comes gets the pair of them, and returns Jaysen Sunday evening.

Of course, we're both flexible - last week, Jo had a rough time with various stuff, so I kidnapped Tam back so Jo could have some quiet time. This weekend, Jo is off to see Patch for his 50th birthday. I was invited too, but don't think I'm quite ready for socialising in that aspect ;) This means I get the kids for the weekend too which is a bargain - usually it's during school time, but with the weekend we can go do whatever the hell we like! I think the lakes are in order... Followed by home and showers for those that happen to fall in.

Saying no names, of course. I can neither confirm nor deny I may or may not be slightly clumsier than the average owner of two left feet with no sense of balance...

I think my mood has been helped by the sheer volume of sunlight that is currently battering the house and surrounding area. Sun is good. Well, aside for my face which has erupted in spots. Acne keeps you looking younger I suppose... Of course, you would think that being in England the weather sucks in comparison to, say, Australia... Ho Ho. I present to the court, an Australian, bitching and moaning about their crappy weather.

Our news report tonight promised rain and 18 & 19 degrees C for the rest of the week, yay us!! That means that there is a more than 99.99% chance that I am going to get wet doing the pick up and drop offs for school this week!

Poor Mel. She's cold, she's getting soaked, and it's making a certain feature of hers even worse. I won't mention it, though I DO have photographic proof...

So, aside from all that, I think what has helped me more than pretty much ANYTHING has been my friends. From those here that have to listen to me moan in person, those I've found once again, those that I catch occasionally on MSN, pester by mail or prod on Facebook - You've made me see what is what and pull me through this.

People keep saying to me "Holy crap, I can't believe how well you're doing" but it's not me. I've had help. So to everyone, thank you.

Even to random people that arrive on the doorstep, linger for AGES, and only leave when I point out they got a ticket on their car fifteen minutes ago... Yes, it's the simple things that keep me ticking over.

So, with stuff still to be done, I'm going to set about to using the funky "Schedule Publishing" feature. It's currently half seven, still sunny, and I'm blaring out music. Let's set posting for... hmmm... 11pm..

Why?

Why not.

Shower Musings

I tend to do some of my best thinking in the shower. It's the one place that for ten, twenty or even thirty minutes (if I am reeeally in a lazy mood) I can shut the door and just relax.

Now, when I say "best thinking" I am not talking about solving World Hunger, Global Warming, or anything quite so dramatic. But while washing my long brown tresses, my mind does tend to flicker around from random subject to random subject.

When the kids aren't here, sitting and "drying" is also another time for sitting and chilling out. I'm wet, I smell nice for once, and I can just drip dry.

• Being on a reduced dose of Paroxetine is interesting.
• Visual Disturbances is a good way of saying "the world went wobbly"
• I smell like a block of chewing gum (Mint shower gel!)
• Why do people arrive on the doorstep unannounced "for ten minutes"
• Why do said people stay for aaaages despite being told I am going out!
• I wish I knew who the traffic warden was so I could thank him for ticketing the person!
• I'm going to get murdered on Canvey Island
• If not, I will get lost
• I can't believe Canvey has it's own Wikipedia entry
• Some of these Facebook applications are sooo pointless...
• Why do I think I've forgotten to do something.

Seriously, I could sit here all day... But I can't.

To Sum Up...

Around midday today, Ruth called - she has her fella Paul down this weekend, and knowing I'm having a crappy weekend, she gave me a shout and offered hot cross buns for lunch, and a roast dinner this evening. Who am I to say no to her nurturing needs...

So instead of moping around the house, I headed over there and chilled out - though this time she only made me do her washing up instead of full-blown housework for a change.

Jo called while I was there, called me a banana for thinking the way I was, and for the first time in a long time, I spoke to her about my fears and suchlike. I was hiding down the end of Ruths garden so I couldn't be overheard, not because I don't want Ruth to know, but I was being a girl as usual.

Marvellous really.

Lack of sleep, compounded by wandering brain thoughts and just not being clear in my head all piled up, and I was at the end of Ruths garden crying down the phone to Jo about various stuff that I can't/won't share here. Nothing about Me and Jo, other stuff involving my life. She was able to help get my head clear, but I've still had a rough day.

I've been checking my mail on my phone to see if Facebook decided to reply - they didn't, but then, it is Sunday so no doubt they have better things to do that respond to people they have (apparently) banned randomly. Cass mailed me to let me know she had a random warning last week, and Deb also mentioned she had a couple of warnings, so *fingers crossed* this is something automated and erroneously random. By the same token, I'd not be surprised if there was something I've done unknowingly.

I was very surprised by a message from Emma earlier on this afternoon telling me she has set up a group to fight for my membership! Not sure what will come of it, but as of now (19:20) I have sixteen supporters! Em set up a group to get me back on, and Mand is on the sidelines with her pompoms out... Crazy girlies ;) Apparently the link to the left in the Cbox will take you to the group if you're a member... Well, if you're not a banned member anyway ;)

I got in a little while ago, have loud music on and am ignoring phones. To sum up: I'm still fed up (though feeling the luuuurve), I'm bored, I ran out of Twitter SMS Updates, so am sending messages but have to log in to see replies, I'm still banned on Facebook, and my laptop is still not coming on at all which has REALLY hacked me off no end.

Now to wait for Jaysen to come home, bribe him with an early (ish) night or else, and for me to try and sleep tonight. Of course, tomorrow is the start of a new week, which no doubt means all the shit will be starting over in less than twelve hours.

Can't wait...

To RSS or Not To RSS?

I am an avid blog reader. I read all sorts of blogs, from the various CHD parent blogs, general family blogs, a few tech blogs, random amusement blogs and adult blogs. I think my daily is something like fifty or so blogs that update frequently.

Yeah, I read a lot.

With my reading list so long, I originally used Firefox to open all the blogs I read, and went through them one by one, leaving comments, spamming tag boards and generally putting my oar in, regardless of it being wanted or needed. And then, I started pottering around with Google Reader, and using blogs RSS Feeds to read them away from the actual blog.

It was quick, easy and simple to use. It showed me what blogs had or had not updated, opened in one window, and meant I didn't have to sift or trawl through the unread blogs to find the ones with new content.

However, my issue with that is it's more like socialising with a friend over the phone that sitting in their living room. Bear with me on this one...

I create my blog to make my readers feel welcome. While I am always changing the template for ME, ultimately, you guys are the ones that get to see. There is stuff of interest on there for you - links to other sites, for example. There is also the Tag Board and Cam (when it's on) so you have a little more to do on your visit. With the RSS Reader, it doesn't matter how neat and tidy the place it - you don't get to see it.

So here's my bind. The Lazy Shit inside me wants to click one link and see all the content hand-delivered to me. Simple, lazy, ease of use. The Not So Lazy Shit inside me would rather go to each blog, see how nice it is, interact with you. Still simple, more personal.

When Packaging Attacks

Dan is bored. Here in Chez 0ddness, I have what I think might be the beginnings of a Migraine coming on, so not only am I bored, but getting cranky, and, trying to concentrate.

Which, in other words, means Dan is going off on one.

See, every month, I plod to the doctors for a prescription, then plod to the chemist to get my meds, then plod back home again. Last time I plodded, my chemist didn't have my migraine meds, so I said "I'll get them when I need them" and, having had a busy few days, I figured I would get them today.

Bear in mind, the Doc doesn't like to give me enough meds to kill an elephant, just enough to make it vomit. So imagine my surprise when - knowing full well what was in the box, I was given this little gem:


Now, that there is a box of pills, with a standard Shrek DVD beside it for sizing purposes. I couldn't think what else to use that is universal in size. What you DON'T see is that, according to Mr Measuring Tape, the box is just shy of two-inches thick.

"OK Dan-" I hear my bemused readers saying "-it's a box of your meds. Who gives a flying fu-" but let me stop you there with the following picture of the contents of said box:


All things considered, that is what I would call Over Kill on a massive scale. I mean, there are SIX pills in that little blister pack - and also remember how deep the box is. When you think about how much this country - and in fact, the world - are banging on about recycling, waste reduction, saving the environment and everything else, that's quite a large amount of packaging for six measly meds.

So, by now you are jumping up and down in the shock of such a revelation. I can tell, I'm psychic. You're shocked, angry and offended at such a waste, but there's MORE.


Look at that sad pathetic little pill. Yes folks, those blister packs don't hold tablets that are large enough to be used as horse suppository, they in fact hold a tablet not much larger than the nail on my ickle pinky finger.

In the grand scheme of things, the six tablets together are about the size of a fairly large postage stamp, yet the come in a blister pack capable of holding toddlers, which in turn, come in a box able to house a small family while their own home is fumigated.

Now, when I am REALLY bored - which is, frankly, a dangerous state of mind for me - I believe I will open the box up and measure it's area because...

Well, just because.

In The Dark

Another day has drawn to a close - well, another week, finally.

I'm sitting at my computer, a little tired as I had a crap night, but surprisingly I feel a bit... good? I can't really explain it, but I've felt fairly good all day - positive, focused, thinking forwards and, more importantly, thinking straight.

I think the reasoning is simple. No matter how bad something is, it could always be worse. I've always always maintained that, and here I am once again living proof of it. I'm still friends with Jo which is important to me. The kids are understanding and more importantly, Jaysen seems relatively unaffected. Jo is happy, which is always a plus in my book, and, like I said, I have plans and am plotting my rise.

Now, I am not for one nano-second thinking I am "over it" by any means, but if I can sit here and realise I am feeling pretty damn good, then so much the better.

A part of it is the blog, as I tend to keep to myself (much to the chagrin of friends and family) this place is my outlet. THIS is where I rant and rave, this is where I talk about all the shit hitting the proverbial fan. You guys are my ear. I can sit here and rattle off all sorts of reasons why I am up, down, busy, tired, hurting, and I know if anyone can help they will offer.

If I tried to talk like this in person, I'd be all over the place.

Of course, the biggest reason I think I am feeling positive today and this evening is my friends. I've had emails, and texts, and voice mail messages (still not up to talking thanks!) and all sorts to say "Hang in there, you can do it" and once again, I have. I've had offers of a place to hide out literally the length and breadth of the country, from the south, to the west, the east and way north. I've even had a couple of offers of visiting the States and staying with friends over there. I've had invites for a day or two, a long weekend, as long as I want... It's pretty amazing.

The last couple of days I've felt a bit more "normal" which, as you know in this house, isn't much of a judge. "Normal" is very flexible in Chez 0ddness. But I've felt more like me. Yes, I am still hurting, and yes I miss Jo like it's going out of fashion. But I am coping, dealing and even feeling a bit more like the piss-taker I was.

I've even made new friends! Go me! If you're on Facebook, join Human Pets - it's a giggle and you do get chatting with people.

Still, I stand by what I've said since this all started; the very last thing I am looking for is a replacement, a girlfriend, or anything of the sort. I think that's something that will come with time, patience and a heck of a lot of personal growth. For now, I need friends and people to take the piss when I am mean to them.

Not that most of you need telling twice, of course ;)

Movie, Blog, Camera... Stuff

Last night, with the kids well drugged put to bed, me and Jo sat down to watch a movie - seems like a while since we managed to sit and pretend to be adults, but sit we did and pretend we did. We even had snacky food without it getting stolen!

We ended up watching Run Fatboy Run which has one of our favourite actors, Simon Pegg. The movie is a borderline chick flick/rom-com, but because it's Simon Pegg, we can overlook that part. Plus, we love Hank Azaria as well, so it was all kinds of funny. Well worth a watch and lots of laughs.

Otherwise, I've had a fairly lazy day... Feet up, relaxing and fighting sleep around lunchtime. Otherwise, those that are looking for it, the webcam is off for the time being while I wait for my new one to arrive - still no sign of it. The company that sent it are checking the tracking but it's not looking good, so I could have another in a few days. *touch wood* Anyways, Jo has stolen my other camera (which had Vista issues anyway) for her Skype needs.

And on the Skype front, I've gotten around to A) Reinstalling, and B) Putting a link to it up there top-right. If you have Skype, clicking that link should start a call. Maybe ;) Anyway, I've rehashed that "Find Me" part of the page so it should show my EMail, MSN, Skype, WoW and Facebook. For those that don't know, Skype lets you phone other users, and if you add credit, you can phone landlines/mobiles. Makes international calling cheaper (In the case of the relatives in Brunei) and makes those that gossip spend less (In the case of those that natter on the phone constantly)

Anyway, with the weather being so sunny today - me without a coat and all - I've been in a really good mood for most of the day. A few snarky comments that have threatened to piss me off, but otherwise, all is cool.

Now you'll have to excuse me, the girls want to straighten my hair...

Dear Mr Alcoholic

You were nice enough in the shop,heaven knows it makes a nice change to have someone chat to you about random things. Granted, you were only making small talk to pass the time, but you seemed like a nice enough chap.

But I ask this. Did life get so bad that you were waiting for you money in order to spend it all on three bottles of cheap vodka? You're probably not even aware of the fact you reek of cheap booze, and your yellow eyes probably mean you've done too much damage to your liver by now.

What happened in your life to make you turn to the bottle? Was there no other solution?

I hope you see what you are doing to yourself, but suspect you know but don't care. I hope you pull yourself out of it before it's too late and you become another statistic for the government.

But maybe it's too late already...

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

The Truth Revealed!

Brace yourselves here folks. Men-Folk, I have gone against the natural order of things and once again, given an insight into the true workings of that bizarre of creatures, the most devious, sly and notoriously-difficult beast to work with...

The female.

If you cast your minds back, I entered the Pit of Oestrogen in 2006 and dispelled that mighty of myths, the "Oh Woe Is Me, I'm On And Can't Do Anything" Yes folks, my faithful hound assisted me in the disproving of that special little myth, and the females tried to rally against me and silence me, but I went into hiding while the storm settled.

And now, through the powers of investigation and prying into their kind once again, I bring you the answer to that age old question, that question:

"Why do women go to the toilet together"

Over the years, scientists have theorised it was their Pack Mentality, a trait discarded by men as useless. Others have said they have heard whisperings of secret rituals, or initiations, or rubbing oil on one anothers chests...

However - and at great danger to myself - I bring you this, wormed from the grip of an actual woman:

Click to Embiggen
There you have it, conclusive proof that they go to the toilets in packs in order to hold one another up so none have to sit on a possibly dirty toilet seat. Clearly, a survive technique passed down through the generations, preventing them transmitting germs, regardless of them going to the loo and then clinging to a friend...

Unlike the superior Male of the species, who just stands, points and aims. The women might make mention of "splashing" and "missing" but that is simply part of marking of the territory - which is why the women have to mop it up, due to feeling threatened....

Manly Skin

Being a man (Hey! I AM a man!) I do what most men do on a daily basis, but I do it every now and then. I shave. Of course, when I say "I shave" what I actually mean is I drag blades across my skin, rip off the hairs, make my skin red and sore, and then leave it for several days before I do it all over again.

Now, a few years back, I had a goatee, which I hate to say, was the source of much comedy. Mainly because most men can grow facial hair. Most. Not Dan. My lack of facial hair was (and still is) a source of much amusement, even to she who claims to love me. I hate to admit this, but at one point to make my goatee stand out a little more.......

I used mascara on it.

It has to be said, the goatee - while I like it because it hid a couple of my chins - was not the most universally liked item of my person. When Bethy was in hospital, I used to rub her hand on it and she's smirk even though she was heavily sedated. I shaved it off for her in the long run, and promised I'd not grow it back. But I digress.

Now, some guys shave in the morning, and by the late afternoon, they get a proverbial five o' clock shadow. I too get one of these, but it takes several days to be noticeable.

Anyway, this morning I shaved, and looked like I'd been slapped in the face. With a beetroot. And I have to say, I've tried almost everything. I've always had crap skin, and even today at a manly 31 years of age, I still get acne. As a teen, I tried everything to fix it but failed. Including a Chinese remedy which contained swallow droppings.

I think the guy sold it to me just to see if I used it.

I've tried blades, electric razors, the round philishave types, I've tried moisturisers, creams, sensitive this and that, a shaver that dispenses cream while shaving... And yet, here I am with a sore face. Again.

So next time you women moan that our skin is "a bit prickly" or "you look like you've been lost in the woods" remember - it hurts some of us!!

And if you have any ways of preventing this, lemmie know - and don't say "grow a beard" because I won't!

On Keeping Strange Times...

Yes folks, I'm up at silly o' clock once more. I'm not entirely sure why I am awake (again) at half two in the morning, but I'm no longer surprised when I look at a clock and see some god-forsaken hour when the rest of the house is asleep. It's not so bad in the winter, as it's pretty much always dark when you look outside, but in the summer... That's when it drives me nuts.

I've not actually been to bed yet... Lane came over after church this evening, and we ended up watching Gladiator while gossiping. She decided that 1am was late enough for her, and half an hour later (you know women, bye doesn't mean bye) she left. I shut the door and am still awake. Pah.

Also, what isn't helping is the fact I woke up this morning with that feeling in the back of my nose and throat again. The sore, hurting feeling of Mr Germ tapping on my head and telling me "Pssst, you're going to be sick for a week!". For goodness sake, I only just shifted this bloody cold - how the hell did I get it back so soon?!

I figured for a change of pace to start with, I'd address some people I know and their own "insomnia".

"I often lay in bed reading till 3am"
No, not insomnia. You're just engrossed in your book.

"I wake up for a wee every night at about two!"
No, that's just your bladder needing emptying.

"I'm just so tired all the time"
Well, maybe, but probably more to do with disturbed sleep.

"I wake up at half five every morning without an alarm"
Good for you...

These are pretty much all random comments I get from people when I mention being up and about at silly hours of the day or night. For example - I just finished doing two days of washing up and cleaning the kitchen. People that have bad sleep vs insomniacs, this is the sort of thing I am talking about. I'm now sitting here blogging. As coherently as normal at nearly three in the morning.

In fact, people that try to sympathise with something they have NO idea about... Please, if you've never been in someones shoes, try to understand, but realise you really don't know what is happening, and piling on the overload of care is too much for some of us.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Plus, this is also a good time for random thoughts. For example, through the joys of Facebook, I've slowly slowly been coming back in contact that I grew up with - I'm talking people I first met twenty years ago, hung around with, played games, got in trouble. One of these has come back, and while we've not spoken yet, it's stirred up some strange memories I had forgotten about. There was a point a few years ago when I wanted to grab this person and shake them and ask what the hell they thought they were doing... But now, I don't know...

Not that all my thoughts are deep at this time of night. I once lay in bed for hours trying to work out why blue Fairy Liquid was blue, and if it now kills germs, what did it do before? And if the speed of light is 299,792,458 m/s (yes, I checked), what does that make the speed of dark - and does it mean dark is faster? And what is dark?

Which then led on to - and hold on to your hats here - the fact that light/illumination is FALSE and that darkness is NATURAL. Here's my thought on this. For any kind of light, there needs to be some sort of reaction - usually chemical or a side effect of something else, while darkness is normal. The sun - chemical reaction of burning gasses. The moon - the reflection of moonlight off the surface. Light bulbs - electricity heating wires to make them glow OR a current running through a gas. Candles or any fire - the chemicals and fibre of the wick burning. Kerosene lanterns are just burning chemicals. Glowing fish or animals are chemicals reactions. (see footnote) And then my mind went on to the Good vs. Evil / Light vs. Dark argument, and wondered if my very thoughts shook the core of the Vatican. Which I doubt, but still ;)

Ahem.

There never really was any point in that train of thought, and people still look at me like I'm a loony, but to be fair, I'm not wrong :D Oh, and for the record, when I wrote to the Fairy Liquid makers, they explained that old Fairy cleans better than most brands, but the blue antibac Fairy kills the germs on the sponge as well as the stuff being washed. And it's blue because apparently blue represent cleanliness and clinical stuff. Plus they gave me £10 worth of vouchers to buy their stuff.

I didn't ask what they thought of when they saw Green Fairy. All I thought of was boogers, bile and mold.

So now, with stupid thoughts running through my head, I've had my cold "remedy" which I know is just flavoured water with paracetamol in it, I've had a throat sweet which I know is just a boiled sweet with gloop inside and some menthol to make you think it's doing something, and I'm going to try to sleep.

"Try" being the operative word of that sentence.

Footnote:
I FULLY expect some smart ass to come by and explain for me. I actually expect that person to work for NASA. Saying no names of course. But don't try the whole "Darkness is just an absence of light milarky!

It's A New Year

So, finally, we're out of 2007 and into 2008 proper. How do I know this? The fact the boy is back at school. Yes folks, three days in, and he's back in education. On a Thursday, no less. Two days of school, then it's the weekend - which, as you can tell, has me slightly bemused. The school says it's to get the kids "back into the routine of school". Of course, it's more like they want to improve their numbers for the powers that be.

Anyway.

With germs being rampant in me through Xmas and into New Year, the cold has finally left. Of course, others out there aren't so lucky. Lane was sick all through Xmas Week, and spent New Year in her PJs. Mand was ill New Years Day and ended up in hospital. Jo spent most of New Years Day in bed (self-induced, no less). Steve has developed Man Flu. Amber and Pete have stinking colds. Plus a few friends out there had some real hassle with family, friends, partners...

But hey, *I* don't have germs!

Of course, the last two nights have been so restless it's not even funny. Having to carry Someone home does wonders for a dodgy spine. Yesterday and today my back is giving me some serious shite.

But anyway, with it being a new year, I'm aiming to be a little more upbeat. Flicking back through the crapfest that was my blog in 2007, there just seems to be so much whining and whinging and "woe-is-me" rubbish, I hope this year is a bit better. I'm feeling pretty good at the moment - things going on in life that make me smile, staying positive and suchlike. The last few years, December through till March have been shit to the extreme. January and February are usually massively depressing - missing Bethy, her birthday is the 15th of this month, and she became an angel on Feb 21st - not to mention Xmas, New Year and all the stupid things I remember on certain dates.

So while it is usually crap, I'm a lot more focused and positive this year. I don't doubt for a minute that there will be shit days, but it's getting different. Not better, it will never be better, just different.

Aside from the alteration in my frame of mind, I'm also aiming at shedding a junk load of weight. I've set up another blog that is currently empty, that will have a track of how well I am doing in regards to become less of a person ;) Other than that, I don't do resolutions. They are too easily broken. I just WANT to lose weight.

And of course, I aim to make the blog a little more interesting. I'm not sure how yet. I am holding off as well as I can with messing with the template. I can handle it. I am still refusing to put ads on here of any kind - no google ads, no popups, nothing. Sure I might make money with it, but I don't want people to read my blog in think I am doing it for commercial reasons.

Of course, if someone wants to buy me a spanky new laptop or even a macbook, then who am I to complain ;)

Maybe I should make a resolution to become a toyboy to an ailing millionaire heiress and become a kept man.

Back on track, mind out the gutter. I am contemplating working on some Audio Posts or even Video Posts for the blog. I have a semi-decent webcam, which has a mic built in, so I might be able to manage that. There is, of course, the whole "EEEEEK" aspect of it - I hate my voice and especially hate my physical appearance so I need to deal with that first :D

Anyhoo - stick around, enjoy your stay, I'm sure something will happen at some point...

...And A Happy New Year

So, without too much hassle *cough*lies*cough* Christmas is over. Done and Dusted. El Finito. Felt like it was forever in coming (almost a year in fact!), lingered for ages and then finally, it's gone.

Now, the final hurdle of the season is New Years Eve. The year is over, hooray yay etc etc. And for a change, we're off to a fancy dress party. But, me being me, I'm not a partier. No doubt once I am there I will be fine, but the threat of being surrounded by people and having to be social... I don't know. Jo is a partier, and no doubt she will be burning up the dance floor, having laughs and fun, while I reacquaint myself with my good friends One Warm Beer and Mr Corner.

But anyway.

Unlike the rest of the world, I won't be making Top Ten Lists of anything. Best movies of the year, best song of the year (or even, All Time Best *anything*). Strangely and mostly, I don't think I can think of ten of the best movies, songs, TV Shows or anything else. I contemplated ten best blog posts, but most of my blog posts are me whining and moaning about something!

Can you tell I'm tired this morning ;)

Anyways, with everything still poodling along here, kids still hyper and mental, I'm not sure I will be posting before next year (hehe), so will take this opportunity to wish all my readers, regulars and newcomers alike, a very happy new year. Here's to 2008 being slightly less....

What's the word I want here.... Ah yes,

Shit ;)

And New Year Resolutions? I fully intend to become a lot less........ FAT.

Boys Night, Take Two

So, last night = wash out. Today, Jaysen has been playing on the computer quietly as he knows I was poorly. He keeps asking if I am ok and if I need anything. "I'm fine little man, you have fun" seems to be my mantra for today.

And I'm not totally sure where "today" went. I've eaten some porridge and some chocolate. I've had lots of tea and water. I've just prepared two more culinary delights - curry for the boy, southern fried chicken and chips for me. His just smells, mine smells lovely - I don't like premade curry. Has to be proper curry, and even then, I need to be in a mood for it.

Anyways, tonight I fully intend to crack out the booze and have mucho fun without the puking. I currently have music blaring, my food still smells good, and a glass of absinthe next to me.

Rock on, indeed.

And something about this comic just makes me laugh. I think it's me with someone Jo...


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Very amusing comic strip - if you've never read, go look. Some of it is shocking, some of it is mildly amusing, some of it is actual LOLworthy.

Censoring Yourself

For the most part, I blog on an almost daily basis. I say "almost" because I tend to skip a few days here and there, take hiatus of a few days/weeks, but with multiple posts a day, I tend to post daily. And, it has to be said, when I post, I am not shy what the subject at hand is. My own misfortunes, the mishaps of others, happiness, sadness, fear, humour - whatever is on my mind, things that have happened - I tend to post it all.

But - as has been pointed out on more than one occasion - I don't talk about everything that goes on. Everything is a broad subject, and to be honest, I don't think people want to read about my every moment of a day in minute detail.

Imagine the loo breaks, for example... Exactly.

But there is stuff I do skip, brush over, or completely don't discuss. Politics and Religion are the two biggies that I don't/won't discuss and, as mentioned elsewhere, I don't do the former as it's a very localised thing, and I don't do the latter as, well, I simply don't believe. But added to this, these two subjects can be the biggest flame bait of them all, and I don't want that.

Aside from that, I like to believe that every thing on the blog is as real as it gets, but I know for a fact I censor myself fairly often. I change names to protect those that might be surfing for themselves. I skip some material because I know it's not something everyone wants to read. I also know that some members of both Jo's and my own family read the blog, and know that some things might cause, shall we say, issues. And, there are things that are generally private.

Yes folks, believe it or not, I have a private life.

And it got me to thinking... Of all the other blogs out there, I wonder how many of them are complete photocopies of someones life, or if, like me, they've edited themselves for the sake of friends, family, decency, work or whatever. Even the adult blogs I read, some are anonymous, some talk only about their adult life, most use false names. So even they censor themselves.

I sat with a pad and pencil this afternoon, and wrote a list of the general stuff I discuss on the blog, and along side, a list of the things I don't discuss. I'm not talking about the size and consistency of my last crap, but real information about me. I found the list of "Public" and "Censored" items were identical in length, and was a little surprised.

Our of all my friends, my family, my close relatives - out of everyone that visits this blog (and excluding Jo), I know of just two people that know pretty much all there is to know about me. Everything. And I'm not sure that is a good thing or a bad thing. Is it good that I have a life that people don't know or understand away from everything else, or is it bad that I only trust two people with the secrets of ME?

So, bloggers that read this, whether you've commented before or not, have a quick vote. Think about your blog, and the things you could put on it. Do YOU censor yourself, and if so, how much? Do you find yourself editing your posts all the time, checking over to make sure there's nothing that other would recognise? Do you occasionally change names or post something then edit out the juicy bits? Do you post all the gore, but change a few items at the last minute, or are you brave enough to post every facet of your life? Vote, Comment - anonymously if you like - I'm just seeing what is what out in the world.

Do you censor your life?

Select an option:

All the time
Sometimes
A few minor details
Not at all

Plus I am tired and headachey and getting ready for bed.

Where'd The Week Go?

I'm not entierly sure where the last week has gone. I DO know that is has dragged something awful, and the weekend could not arrive soon enough. And while it's been chaos and hectic, I'm not sure what has gone on.

Guess it's the whole "Christmas is Looming" thing.

In fact, out of the whole week, only three "occurances" spring to mind; a bitch of a migraine Friday daytime (and sleeping pretty much all afternoon), getting a bit tipsy Friday night (and staying up till 6am gassing), and being invited to become a guest author at the site About:Blank that I visit most days.

The migraine - nothing to report. I started to make itself known around 11am Friday morning, and by 1pm, I was out on the sofa wanting someone to just remove my head and flush it away. Aside from an interlude of inviting Jaysen in (worlds noisiest child), it was gone by about 7pm, leaving just that dull "I've had a cramp in my brain" ache.

Later that evening, someone turns up, and we all sit together having a laugh, getting drunk and talking the night away. One person flaked around 1am, the next one flaked at 3am, leaving me bored and wide awake. So another drunk a million miles away in some dodgy town in Bedford kept me company. Until I fell asleep mid-conversation at almost 6am. Oopsie.

No, amazingly, it wasn't the booze. I had Jack Daniels, Beer, WKD Blue, even Absinthe, but I was fine. I was, however, very very tired, even though I got up a few hours later at 11am. And no, I didn't have a hang over. I wonder if my migraine meds helped fight it off.... Hmmmm...

And yes, me. Guest Author on a proper webpage. I've been visiting About:Blank for a good while now, and occasionally even post stuff I find there on here. I submitted a link during the week, and the site owner replied, has been here before and apparently I post some "great stuff on my site"

Me? On this site? hehe So here I am, wondering what I could post on a site with half a million visitors, knowing that whatever I post will be seen by a lot of people. More's the point, aside from you lot here, who on earth would both read AND enjoy what I write? Would my very presence be the iceberg to the good ship about:blank?

This is why I don't act - I get up on the stage, the spotlight hits me, and I babble before either passing out of taking off like a greyhound after a fake bunny.

So, anyway, while I consider that - tomorrow is Jaysens 9th birthday. That's scary (in that I've not murdered him before now) and makes me feel older than I am. And by the weekend, we should (all things being "normal") have our Xmas Decorations up. We need a new tree as our last one was destroyed by the joint brute-force attacks of kittens, toddler, kids wanting chocolate, gravity, and a large fat guy sick of Xmas almost bending it trying to get it down last year.

Oops.

So, new tree, new decorations... We shall see.

The Sofa

It's nearly midnight here in Chez 0ddness, and yet, here I am, pissing around on my blog. The reason is simple - I am on the sofa tonight.

Thankfully, I hasten to add, it's not one of those "YOU can sleep on the sofa tonight" instances, but me, being the perfect gent that I am, have given up my bed for our friend Lane.

Yes, there are two women in my bed tonight... But I am still the gentleman here ;)

Lane is having what you might want to term "A Bloody Awful Time", and has spent the day here alternating between crying, laughing, chasing the kids, and chilling out. She even got to see Migraine Dan pass out on the sofa and bury himself under a stack of sleeping bags. She's been through a lot in the last few months, and it's all coming out on our shoulders.

She's also the person that "helped" me get our replacement washing machine in. She's even started to blog a bit, I've added her to the blogroll. Her blog is Phoenix Is... so poodle on over and say howdy.

In other news, well, we've got a replacement washing machine after our other one was repossessed. We got a letter today telling us it was going to be taken. Great, well done - would have been handy a week ago.

My arm is sore and bruised from the Needle of Doom.

I've had a bitch of a headache for the last couple of days.

Hellgate London is an excellent computer game. I've been waiting two or three years for this game, and it was worth the wait. Swords, guns, demons, undead - great stuff.

Firefly still kicks ass. Anyone that didn't enjoy what there was made of that show should be pushed out of their country and sent to somewhere strange. Like Australia.

Anyways, I am sooo glad tomorrow is Friday. No doubt it will be spent doing the worlds supply of washing up and clearing up generic chaos. I might even post the rest of my Whinefest ;)

So, with a Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers (who are no doubt doing family stuff and far too busy to read blogs, I'm going to try and fall asleep.

Edit: Oh, the template. So, it turns out that the problem is to do with new code being viewed on out of date software. You need to upgrade to IE7 or Firefox in order for the poor little sidebar to appear in the right place. I tested it on an old computer a couple of days back and see the problem, upgraded to Firefox and it was fine. Otherwise, just grin, bear it, and wait for the next template rehash ;)

Blockage!

Do you ever have those days where you really aren't sure what you should be doing, let alone what you want to be doing. Today is such a day here in Chez 0ddness. I should be doing some housework, but can't be arsed. I could be playing WoW, but haven't paid my subs this month.

And, of course, being Monday, I should be doing a Musical Monday, but have, er, Musical Monday Block. I've got a few songs I could use but aren't grabbing me. I have a couple of posts I should be working on, but don't have the oompf to finish them.

I hate it when I get a case of the Can't Be Arseds, and it seems to strike more this time of year. I blame the weather - that's a British thing to do. While the sun is out at the moment, the sky is getting grey and gross-looking. It was raining all weekend, and the rain hammering on the window kept me aware.

Whine bitch moan piss.

Lucky for me, misery loves company, so I am helping out one of my sexy friends with a game because they had a crappy weekend. I'm search a good person!