Search Fun

If there is one thing that is guaranteed to make me chuckle and smirk, it's going through my StatCounter page to see how people have found 0ddness.

It got to the point in the past that I ended up setting up a separate tag for these posts - mainly so I could look back and shake my head at some of the terms. It has to be said, in the past, some have been amusing, some worrying and some just plain gross. Mainly, with the gross for some reason... Clearly my weirdo-magnet applies to the blog as well as me out in the wild...

But, there is very little that the human race can do any more that shocks, stuns or amazes me.

Over the last couple of weeks, here are some of the terms used to find me or my blog. Before I list them, for the uninitiated, these terms have directed people here because I've used all the words in the blog in general.

So for example. If I write a sentence like "I am so sick of this pissing rain, it's driving me nuts - it's supposed to be my chilled out summer!" in one post, and then in another post I write "I was in Asda, and all the grannies pushing and shoving one another on to the reduced items had me in stitches" then people can find the blog using the words "Grannies Pissing On My Nuts"

Because, you know, people are weird.

• argument you realize you're wrong
  Not entirely sure this happens to me very often ;)


• gassing rabbits
  Now, do they mean gassing as in "talking lots" or - more likely - they actually want to GAS rabbits?!


• something somewhere went terribly wrong wallpaper
  Erm, duh. Welcome to my life! Hope whoever you are fixed it ;)


• how many children have died from painkillers
  Seriously?!


• drunk girl wet pants
  This can only refer to urine. I seem to attract a lot of urine-fans for some reason!


• 4 ladies milking guy
  Um... Ew?


• emma from the only way is essex tits
  Ahhh see, I've mentioned That Program in the past, have mentioned a friend called Emma many times, and sure I've spoken about people getting on my tits... NO idea who they mean mind you!


• witch doctor sexy girls
  Er, I can't even.. I don't even... Huh?!


• sausage in different languages
  Someone is either A) touring the world and LOVES their sausages and needs to order them, or, B) is trying to make naughty references to their bits.


• justin bieber c**k in his mouth
  Eeeew!! And, once again, EEEEW! I mean, it probably won't be long till it actually happens, but I certainly won't be putting pictures of it on here!!


• white small dog...puts face in bowl...dirty face deviantart
  THAT is an oddly specific things to search the internet for...


• open the fridge and a bear punches you
  And THAT is probably the most random-yet-specific thing to search the internet for. I conjecture the person had a bad experience...


• pitsea adventure
  Yes, going through Pitsea - especially in the dark - can be an adventure. And you only have one life.


• girl pees
  MORE urine?!


• kittens saying hello
  Whatever you are smoking, put it down, open the window, breath fresh air...

So there we have it. Clearly 0ddness is a hub for porn and urine. And very very strange people searching for very very strange things.

Now excuse me, I have to force a bear into my fridge to punch someone...

Strange Ukrainians...

As mentioned earlier this week, I enjoy poking in on my StatCounter every now and then to see what's what, and how the crazy freaks of the world are coming to my little corner of the world. I am pretty sure it counts as some form of addiction** and while I don't get anything out of it, except maybe the occasional chuckle, I check it every few days

So this morning I plonk myself on the sofa and log into StatCounter and the first page that loads shows my a graph of the last week of traffic.  I don't get much traffic - anyhting from 10 to 80 hits a day usually, but a lot of people seem to read the posts from elsewhere - Google Reader or Facebook or whatever I think - but the graph is generally pretty steady around those numbers.

Except this morning.

Did it get broked?

Usually, I only see that sort of spike when I post on Bethys birthday or angel day. I checked my blog to make sure I'd not set something inflammatory to post Friday - I hadn't - but thought I should check anyway. I assume it's the same with other platforms, but on Blogger, I can write a post NOW, but set it to post at a certain Date/Time in the future.

But I was innocent. So had to delve deeper. 400+ hits in one day is very strange, but it wasn't even a case of there being new content on here... I started to go through Fridays traffic.

That, my friends, is Saturday midnight, going backwards till midday Friday. See the jump? Between 2000-2100, 0ddness was loaded 384 times. Clearly someone was REALLY interested in reading the blog. That's roughly one pageload every ten seconds. Speed readers, maybe?

Digging deeper into the traffic report, I went to 8pm and started to go through the traffic, but on closer inspection, it was very very clearly some bot/spammer jobbie.

To save you clicking to embiggening, EVERY hit was from the same source, Kiev, Ukraine. All from the "Private Joint Stock Company Datagroup" and every single time, loading the December 2003 archive - which is when this incarnation of 0ddness came into existence.

Yes, I know this is quite boring to a few some most all of you, but I am sure at least one person might maybe find it interesting. Maybe. Just ONE.


**Strangely, as I wrote the word "Addiction" a song came on by Janes Addiction. Spooky!

Ahhh StatCounter...

Long have I been a user and, indeed, fan of my StatCounter. I don't rely on it, I don't stress over the numbers of people visiting or not visiting my blog, but use it just to be nosy.

See, I like knowing where people are coming from globally, I like seeing employees for big companies looking at my blog, I like knowing that there's some person in the middle of nowhere reading, but most importantly, I like finding out HOW people find 0ddness.

It's no secret - there's a tag in the cloud over there specifically for this very reason.  Over the years, I've done posts on people finding 0ddness in the most disturbing manner, and have even occasionally slapped up their IP Address and location for the world to see what gross thing you are hunting for - and, for some reason - believe you will find it here.

But I digress.  A twitter conversation with @CharleighBest this morning prompted me to have a lookie-see at what's been happening in the wonderful world of search, and I've decided to just go BLAM and plonk out all the most recent search terms.  Some of them are quite boring, but some are - as usual - very interesting...  For your viewing pleasure, I've bolded the more interesting ones. As usual, there are LOTS of people hunting for Gimme Gizmo/DRW Ltd - that information will be back on here once I've finalised some hosting stuff.

Anyways, one list, for your viewing pleasure, with bad words "censorsed" a little bit.

dye for eye test
how longs does it take leek to spoil
drw ltd
wii sex toy
what size headboard bolts do i need
big hippo
gimme gizmo uk
federal ministry of works cantract award cer
chav scum
sore red penis do i need doctor
gimme gizmo head office
drwltd
red bumps in the palm of hands n sole of feet , it doesn't hurt what is it?
0ddness blog
person banging their head against a brick wall
kings nightclub canvey
m and d's theme park scotland
dali elephants
salvador dali elephants
dali elephants
how to fold your cat
amarjit nahal
rude christmas cards
gimme gizmo news
gimme gizmo
how+to+make+a+dirty+vimto
zombie soldier
f**k my mum illegal
God help me....I am becoming an avid fb poker
happy birthday to my little angel
tweenie shoes
in love with my gran
0ddness
contract completion certificate form
salvador dali elephants
funny verruca
TELL TALE OF TWEENIES
magazine article template
will i get money from ivory coast
list of all people in rockstar video
tarja turunen on vacation
"photobucket.com/albums" "cleavage" OR "bewbs" OR "boobs" "me"
gimmegizmo
wednesday butt crack bloggapedia
kanada's death part 2
Jenna Westerbeck sunbathing
sumatriptain
china take away
in love with someone i just met online internet marriage
SEX MUSEUM AMSTERDAM
girls vs boys quotes
big hippo
dan english essex
gimme gizmo wakefield
rhod gilbert
thingsthatgetyouwet
zombie soldier costume
rhod gilbert girlfriend
grany bastard
queen i want to break free
hippo big
dali elephants
how much to see your boobs
tagged questions
we dont just embrace insanity here
prodigy invaders must die
gimme gizmo head office number
yaris sr
things that get you wet
i don't do my paper round
girls vs boys quotes
salvador dali
mouthwash "powered by blogger" -blogspot.com
sony ericsson tube speaker w995
sex big booty ass
gimme gizmo employee
armin van buuren's banners
flow chart photocopier
bounty head
drug dealer basildon
weebls waffle shirt
what is the most boring job you can imagine
contract certificate
watchtower
award certificates pixar
broken washing machine switch
gimme gizmo
gimme gizmo staff
gimme gizmo complaints
girl vs boy quotes
gimme gizmo shutting down
example of flowchart in pop quiz
i took a blue  x tacy pill with a monkey  what are the side effects
boooooobs
thins that make you wet
fat tapeworm
doing a paper round
gimme gizmo shutting down
real boobies
Friday 13,2000
comedy and curry at the cliffs pavilion
Have Fun Go Mad - Tweenies
do you iron pillow cases
Comedy Magazine Articles
"Fw: Fwd: Fwd: fwd"
what time are you closing
dear genitals
We ask that you allow at least 72 hours for the case to be investigated and we strongly recommend to
big thick jumper

Now, SOME of these items are actual blog posts or content of blog posts I've made in the past, some of them are comprised from different things mashed together. OK, most of them are like that, that's how the search thing works. However, getting all these things together makes some disturbing results... For instance, people in love with their gran, people wanting sex with their mum, side effects of a certain ecstacy tablet... Just.. Wow...

If you find yourself bored and want similar shenanigans, then I suggest installing StatCounter and having a blast (Like I do!)

Well, Helloooo...

Having received a phone call this afternoon from my hosting company, I have been forced to remove all posts relating to DRW/Gimme Gizmo.

They will be posted elsewhere, but from a legal standpoint, there's not much I can do. Interesting to see how a personal site can be considered DEFAMATORY and SLANDEROUS and required to be removed.

I am angry.

-Dan

It's All About The Keys

Over the years of blogging, and thanks to the Powers The Be - which I affectionatly call "StatCounter" - 0ddness has been found by many different (strange) people looking for many different (strange) things.

It got so amusing after a while, that I started to occasionally publish the strings that "found" me, and in the case of the occasional really strange one, I identified them for comedy value.

I'm a little bit sad to admit, that over time, things have been somewhat more mundane.  No crazy people trying to find me, no mental cases looking for weirdness...

I still check my StatCounter most days, and today I seemed to have received a couple of peculiar returns.  Not up to my usual standard of mental, just strange...

Better than nothing, I suppose ;)

 

My favourites:

Boobs/Boobies/Cleavage/Breasts (and variations there-of): Because everyone loves them ;)
YouTube desperate girls pees in drain: Yeah, I bet you're looking for it for Research Purposes
Email directory of Germany engineers: I suppose someone has a German-Based engineering emergency...
Dan Loves Boobs: Yes... Yes he does...
Kerb crawling in Essex: Find a kerb, start crawling.Not sure that I'm much of a spokesman for the scene tho
The various "Pirate" related searches always make me smile too

Have to laugh really...

The Demonstration Has Another Effect

Saturday saw me banned from Facebook.
Sunday saw the girls start the Save The Dan demonstration group on Facebook.

So YAY really ;)

Otherwise, I've had a manic day, shopping, cleaning, drinking white chocolate hot chocolate, shopping more, cooking, school runs... Not even 20:00 and I am knackered. BUT I'm not going to go to bed yet - I'm going to leave it a bit so I am TIRED when I go to bed!

Maybe tonight I'll sleep!

Otherwise, I've had a pretty good day, head is clearer after sorting through some stuff rattling around in it. People keep offering to help me go through it all, but... There's always a but, and this time, I can't go into it really. Very strange situation I find my head putting me in.

Cryptic I know, but who knows, one day I might get it sorted enough to blog.

Ahem.

So, good day, head in a good place once again and lots going on. But still banned from Facebook and still no contact from them. Pah.

On Being Banned

I wouldn't bandy the term "addicted" around very much usually, but I have noticed that I am rather... Well, bored. Usually when I get up, I check mail, stats, news, blogs, facebook. The last isn't just "checking", it's replying to messages, playing games, sending gifts, posting on walls, saying hi to friends.

I never had much in the way of applications unlike some people out there - my profile page usually loaded after a few seconds - but there were things on there I liked to do.

I'm still trying to think as to the why I got banned, and really cannot figure it out.

• I sent 15 Ann Summers gifts out
• I invited several friends to Owned and Scramble
• I SuperPoked everyone with the Poke of the Day
• I made nearly a million dollars buying and selling my friends
• I took two surveys
• I sent a half-dozen messages to my Aussie Stalker
• I posted on a couple of other peoples Walls
• I poked. As usual ;)

Now the ONLY thing that was different about yesterday was the poking strangeness and what I thought to be broken friend request. First, the poking. The only person on was Mel, discussing, er, stuff. I noticed that when I poked her back, another poke instantly appeared from her. I'm not talking with a few seconds delay, but instantly. The second thing was a friend request from Mels hubby. I clicked "confirm friend request" and went back to my front page, where there was a friend request from Mels hubby. Which I confirmed, only for it to get replaced by a friend request from Mels hubby, which I confirmed, and so on.

Typical bloody Australians get me banned it would seem ;) Wenches and Convicts the lot of em.

Other than that, I have NO clue what I could have done to earn myself a ban. That list is what I do pretty much every single morning. Then I am on and off facebook during the day as and when I get a chance. I'm still getting the "Your account has been disabled by an administrator" message trying to log in. No reply to the three emails I've sent them. Emmas group has started getting lots of members - I was in bed last night texting her names of people I could remember on there, but having NO head for names or anything, I was struggling. I was texting her names, she was hunting them down and sending them messages...

Only to get a warning for being a spammer! hehe

My StatCounter has shown that the group has doubled the traffic to my blog yesterday - from 80-100 hits to just over 200. Not too shabby really.

But I am bored. I don't play WoW all the time, and I've read the internet. Usually an evening unwinding would involve kicking arses at Scrabble or Word Twist, but not last night. If it gets too bad I might have to resort to drastic measures...

*gulp*

I might have to turn on the telly.

Coming Down The Tubes

One of my hobbies has to be browsing through my StatCounter. Sometimes, I am met with all kinds of weird and wonderful search terms of how Mr Smith-McWeirdo managed to stumble upon my blog, be it obscure porn references, or just down right peculiar stuff.

Sadly, this isn't one of those posts. I know, I miss them too, but I think people have stopped poking around for Nan Porn and stuff... Either that, or they got sick of seeing their IP Address emblazoned for all to see!

My Boobs post from October still generates traffic which I am pleased with - it's amazing how many people find me while looking for breasts. What can I say, everyone loves boobies. If I put my mind to it, I could also find out which pair generates the most traffic to see who has the best pair, but I think that's something I should judge in person really...

No, this post is in reference to a conversation I had with Gemma while busting her hubby as to how much he visits my blog while "working". Now, most of us have our ISPS - Blueyonder, Virgin, NTL, BT, Verizon, Comcast - but those that work for large companies have their OWN ISP Register thingiemajigg. For instance, one of the bloggers I read and in turn, reads me, works for good ol' NASA, and appears on my "visiting ISP" list as "National Aeronautics and Space Agency" which is cool to see.

"Look Ma, NASA dun been here!"

Now, contrary to what I reported Pete's visiting to be at, he has actually dropped a few points from #4.


And for those that don't know, Mr Peter works for West Ham United Football Club, as represented on the list at #7. Out of the last 500 visitors to my blog, he ranked in at 7, with seventeen visits. To put that more into perspective, #6 on the list is BT-Central-Plus, and covers 11 individuals. #5, NTL Luton is 4 different individuals. Granted, Tmobile is 1 person also bored at work checking up on me by her mobile phone. Even #8 on the list, Netspace, is made up of 6 different people.

So there you have it Gemma, when Peter says "I had a hard day at work" what he means is, "I had a hard day playing on the internet, where's my dinner you pregnant wench". I just checked his log, and it works out to about 5 or 6 visits per day.

Must be very hard working for a Premiership club...

Anyway, have a look through and see if you can "spy" yourself or anyone you know ;) Bear in mind, that is everyone with two visits or more, and it only saves the last 500 on my log.

And more importantly, Google Inc have been here too! Hi Google! Send me a supercomputer please and I will love you forever and talk about how great you are! hehe

And Push And Breathe

OK, this is a post for Gemma. Well, to help Gemma. See, she's preggers. She's well preggers and is waddling around Basildonia like a whale on two legs. She was due on Saturday, but this baby is refusing to come out.

Yes, it's a girl.

She is trying everything to start herself off - walking, bathing, spicy food, lavendar and thankfully she told me, sex. "Peter Longley Has Sex" That should be interesting if he is ever Googled. I should point out, he's the least busy person I know considering he is #4 of the "Most Repeat Visits" on my statcounter.

Do some work you lazt git.

Anyway, if you know of a way to entice a baby to wiggle out that little lardy sack, now is the time to share. Come on people, think of Pete her - he needs a couple of weeks off work!

Wheee Stats!

Things have been a little bit wheeee-whoooo over the last couple of days. Busy, mostly - finishing the Christmas shopping, house working, school winding down (he's off now till new year), plus finally sorted the internet problem.

For the record and for you nay-sayers, the issue turned out to be with Virgin themselves and NOT me, king of the fiddlers. So raspberries.

Anyways, I checked my StatCounter yesterday, and was greeted by the following image:


Impressive eh? After a quick peek, it appears someone submitted by site to StumbleUpon, which basically, someone posts "Hey, check this!" and so they do. In droves. Whether or not any of them are still lingering around reading I don't know, but to any new readers - Hi, welcome and feel free to stick around!

Tomorrow, I might actually post something with, like, content ;)

The Stats Bring Them In

As is usual when I've been tired/busy/out/lazy or all of the above, the blog suffers, and the content ends up crap. Beyond crap, at that. Ordinarily, I'd apologise, but I don't have the energy - plus, you don't have to be here :D

Now, assuming you're actually still here and haven't clicked off to another blog, I figured I'd do the other thing I do when the content is shit lacking. StatCounter rubbish!

Because admit it - you all love it really ;)

I'm actually on the StatCounter beta version, which gives a bigger log, so I can see more of who is coming and going, how they are finding me, who is referring them, and what link (if any) they leave from. Instead of the last 100 visits, I get to see the last 500. Not to shabby.


First thing to note - there are a LOT of Xmas Song searches listed on there. Well, tis the season, plus my Christmas mp3 List brings people here. People, if you want music, download Limewire and away you go. If you really really HAVE to have one song, email me, comment, or contact me and I will mail you that song.

But anyway, the bulk of searches happen to be Christmas Music or Boobs/Breasts. That's thanks to my marvellous Boobies Post from October, and my Christmas Music post from November of 2006. And, aside from the Xmas Music/Boobs, there have been some other interesting searches:

• "0ddness": People, please, learn the URL ;)
• "Hoovering Boobs": Erm... as in, vacuuming?
• "oops her stockings showed pics": hehe they did?
• "sween tattoo": Sweeney or Sween in the Bean? Because they are both bloggers you know ;)
• "full frontal nerdity 12 days of christmas": I link to the comic, so assume there's something else out there.
• "constant queasy feeling": Go see your doc, don't ask me.
• "how to gas meter cheat": Sorry, I still don't know.
• "prostitution scotland kerb crawling": Why don't you just kerb crawl instead of look on blogs?!
• "flu porn": Certainly the strangest fetish I've come across in a while...
• "dan english 0ddness blog": hehe some people are soooo funny. Learn the URL!
• "emma webcam": This could be either Emma or Other Emma... I await your link ;)

The Internet Is For...

It's no secret that I use StatCounter, and, mores the point, I love reading who is coming from where, and how people find my blog on the tangle of tubes that is Teh Internets. Over the time I've had it installed, I've often posted snippets of what keywords will flash my blog up, ranging from the YAAAR of LazyTown's You Are A Pirate, to Jenny's Wolf Crotch, to various crazies searching for various craziness.

Yes, the Internet IS for Porn.

So here we have a few more interesting people in the world finding my blog for reasons other than what they are looking for...

• Perv Boobs: Yes, I posted lots of boobs. Is there any other kind of boobs aside from the perv kind?
• Gas Meter Cheat: I've noticed a few of this since posting about the broken meter. Seems a LOT of people look on Google for ways to swindle their gas meters. Naughty naughty.
• What Does It Mean To Keep Bleeding Love: Erm... what? I'd phone a doc, ASAP. Either that, or it's song lyrics you're looking for.
• 0ddness: The amount of people that google 0ddness is interesting - it's not like my URL is that difficult to remember people!
• Boobs Enormous DD: While DD is pretty big, I am sure there were bigger ones on my list last month. Leave your phone number, I'm sure a woman you find hunting for large breasts online will be more than happy to meet you ;)

Of course, by posting these, I'm just making Google route more crazies my way! hehe

Oh, and to the person that searched for "Dan English Basildon www.0ddness.co.uk" the other day - I hope you've learned the url this time...

Hunting Me

People come to this blog from all over the place. While I can't boast a huge amount of traffic per day, I am more than happy with the numbers of people that visit, either repeatedly or new comers.

That said, I've always enjoyed finding out exactly how people have found me. Some hit the blog randomly, coming from the "Next Blog" button, some have me bookmarked, some follow a link on someone elses blog or page, or, they find me via the search engines. Usually, people find me in a completely innocent manner - places I've mentioned, medical issues, or a random string of words.

Some searches are so specific it worries me who the person is looking for, well, what they are looking for... To get an idea of what I am prattling on about, type "statcounter" into the search box on the right there and look at some previous mentions.

So, today, I have two interesting search strings that led someone here...

Yes folks, someone is searching for "Dan in underpants". I don't know if that's me they are looking for, or just people named Dan wearing their pants. Which also leads me to wonder... Did they find what they were looking for? Also, that last one - are they looking for young people pretending to be grown ups, or are they looking for adults that are playing together?


Well, someone around Basildon must be poorly and lonely. Burping sick and looking for the red light district in Basildon. Not sure any ladies of leisure would be too happy to service someone that is burping up vomit. But then, maybe they are trying to find someone into that ;)

And yes, I have used another scantily clad girlie. They need more exposure ;)

I Love StatCounter

I love my StatCounter. I'm not so much interested in the number of people coming to visit me (though it is nice!), I like to know about HOW they came to be here, how they found me - either clicking a link elsewhere, or using a search engine - and I like to see where in the world people are coming from.

My favourite feature has to be the Keyword Activity, that is, what people entered into Google/Yahoo/MSN and so on before finding me. In the past, this had lead to some interesting results, from "Tweenies having sex" to "Date knife wielding psychopath" to "Dooleys sex toy" and "Gays in Brunei".

So, this morning, I checked as usual, and this is what I found:

Have to wonder why people like #5 on that list use search engines sometimes. And I wonder in turn if they realise everything they look far is recorded in at least one place, usually more.

Bric-a-Brac Posting

Once again, Friday is upon us, and for some reason, I feel like I have not stopped all week. Of course, this didn't stop my body clock from kicking me awake half an hour ago saying "DAN! Wake Up!" So, I dutifully poured myself out of bed, shuffled around getting coffee and clothing and washing and suchlike... I've not stopped yawning yet. I believe I've actually woken up tired.

But it's Friday. That means that tomorrow, I will be up at the arse-end of the morning once again, but not have to worry about getting dressed. Yes, usually Saturdays are made for sleeping in late, but not for this chap, no no. I'm taking bets on me falling asleep at some point before bedtime today - probably while half-way through doing something!

Anyways, once again the StatCounter amuses and amazes me with it's junk. One search result last night actually disgusted me which is a very rare occurrance. I've had to send emails to my ISP, StatCounter and Verizon to let them know about it. It might be innocuous, it might be some bastard that needs a good castrations/vinegar scrub combo, but what the hell goes through peoples minds with this sort of shit? More info when I get it.

This morning, I've had another good search return that makes me chuckle. I've always been very careful what I use as search terms, because of this very reason - you never know who will see you:

Woot! Search result #2, please take a bow! Of course, if you know how search engines work, and how they search, it's not a big surprise that they come here. It's also the reason Jenny might find some veeeery interesting search results on her StatCounter...

Moving on... The PodCast is slowly coming together. I am having to do it in stages for various reasons, the first being that I can't form a sentance without putting my tongue between my toes and pulling. Seriously, I sound like my tongue has been removed and stapled to my forehead some days. So, I am recording the cast in sections, which means, once I nail the bit I want, I save it and move on to the next. And no, you don't get the "outtakes" as they are heading for the great Recycle Bin in the sky. Hopefully, I will get the cast out over the weekend.

Assuming I can decide on what to call it. Either p0ddness, or p0dd-cast. Meh.

If you have anything you particually won't me to talk about, let me know! And no, I won't say things like "Gawd Blimey Guv'nor! It's Mary Poppins!"

Tomorrow (I think) we might actually have the coveted "BabySitter" and will be heading out to get drunk with Ruth and Paul, which should be amusing. Usually we end up drinking far-too-much and rolling in at 2am, but not before either attempting to cook something, or playing on the computer first. Which means, if we DO get a babysitter tomorrow, and we DO get drunk, then you could be treated to a Drunken Post.

I apologise in advance!

Last but not least, I can finally vouch that Laney is a real person! Yesterday morning outside the school, our eyes met across the carpark, and it was heckle-at-first-sight. Course, I was having a bad hair day and had my shades on, so I looked very cool ;) With the exception of Jo (Duh), Stuart, and The Other Emma, Laney is the first blogger I've met in the flesh!

If I find any of you crazy Americans outside the school one morning, I'll be worried ;)

Yay! Pervert Searches!

I was about to head to bed. I'm tired, I'm hurting, and my head feels like it's doing that pushing out from behind the eyeballs thing. I need sleep - not that I will sleep past 4/5am, but you never know. Before bed, I thought I'd check my blogs, comments and StatCounter one last time.

You know, because I am an addict and all that.

So, I wandered through the blogs, commented, was about to check my comments, when I thought "Stats!" - which are almost as addictive as the rest of it. I like to see what wacky, weird and wonderful methods people use to find my blog. The best one to date had to be "Grandmas having sex" which still crops up (even though I swear I've never mentioned such things. Well, I have now, but you know), but today, we've either got a new leader, or a very close contender.

Tweenies having sex?! For the laugh of all things puppet like and for kids, what drives some people to search for these things. What, you may ask, is a Tweenie? Thank you BBC:


They are kids, for all intents and purposes - L to R, Bella, Milo, Fizz and Jake. There are also a couple of dogs, and two teachers (they are in playgroup/nursery). Kids love em, but crap on a stick, sex with them?! So, thanks to the powers that be - ie, StatCounter - I'm showing the world who would search for such things, leaving everything uncovered aside from the IP Address. Which, if you know what you're doing, you can uncover anyway.

If you know someone from this part of the world, online at that time, with that ISP, then who knows - you might know them!

So, now I am really off to bed, with 0ddness on #8 at Google for the search string, Tweenies Sex Photos. I'll reply to comments in the morning when I can focus!

I Am Somebody!

'Twas a cold, wet and windy morning at the end February when it happened. After wandering around the web pressing buttons, He finally found it, entered the Mystical Money Giving Number, and as if by magic, he arrived where he wanted to be.

Or, in other words, I bought a domain name this morning. www.0ddness.co.uk now belongs to me, and I am waiting for some junk to catch up with everything and then, Whammo! Aren't I the clever little potato. I've been toying with doing for a while, and decided this morning that I would go for it. I've only gone for the name and not the space, so this is all still living on Blogger (because I am lazy, mostly), but in a couple of days, you can get to me with the friendlier URL.

According to the WHOIS database, I am official now:

- Domain name:
0ddness.co.uk

- Registrant:
Dan English

- Registrant type:
Not supplied

- Registrant's address:
xxx
Basildon
Essex
xxx
United Kingdom

- Registrant's agent:
Namesco Limited [Tag = NAMESCO]
URL: http://www.names.co.uk

- Relevant dates:
Registered on: 28-Feb-2007
Renewal date: 28-Feb-2009

- Registration status:
Registration request being processed.

I know I harp on about it, but remember, the word 0ddness starts with a Zero, not the letter "O". Because people still Google "oddness.blogspot.com", which is a blog 5 years out of date.

And speaking of googling to find me...

Jenny over at Flawed & Disorderly has a lot to answer for with her Wolf Crotch. Bless. I imagine that keeping ones personal life personal is something she is learning this week! hehe

And yes, the weather this morning sucks. I got soaked and my hair got all windswept. Stupid weather. Now I've got to brush it again!

Approaching The Big 3-0

It is with some nervousness I approach this "landmark" number. To be honest, I never in the least expected I would make it this far or this long, and the fact I have made it just makes me smile. "Go Team Me" and all that. I'm not having a party, I'm not going to make a fuss - aside from this post here, and probably another when it happens - but it is impressive to me.

Some of you are probably scratching your heads right about now, thinking "I am SURE he turned 30 last September" and you'd be correct. But I am not talking about how old I am, I am talking about how many visitors I've had. See, this started out as a place for me to just ramble on waffle on, and I never knew people would actually visit me, let along visit regularly! Checking my counter this morning, I was very impressed to see the counter clicking over 29,000 visits, and well on the way to the Bog Three Oh, Oh Oh Oh.

If you have NO clue what I am talking about, scroll down the sidebar, and there, right at the end under various buttons and stuff, you will see a teeny little counter. That's how many visitors I've had since adding the counter on there.

Of course, I'd like you, The Reader, to help me out here. Everytime you visit, check the counter. I want to know which of you is my 30,000th visitor. If you log on and it is exactly 30000 (or as close as dammit), take a screen shot and email it to me. Why? Why Not! I might even offer craptastic prize ;)

To take a screenshot, have the screen open where you want it, then press the Print Screen button (it's on the top row, far right). Then open up Paint, or whatever art-software you have installed, and press the PASTE Button (or hit CTRL V), and save the image, then email it to me at my Gmail Address. I don't want 29,xxx, I want the 30,000 or as close to as possible - 30,000-30,010 range maybe :D

It's early, I am bored...

Interesting Visitors

With the exception of stupid, misguided idiots, I love to know who is visiting my blog, where they are from and what they did (if anything) while here. Which is why I love my statcounter down there. Not only does it tell me how many people are poking through 0ddness, but the numbers get broken down for me elsewhere so I can so the general Who, What, Where and When.

Every now and then, I check the list of ISPs visiting, and here and there you can see the people that are visiting from a work computer. Naughty naughty, getting paid to read my ramblings while you should be crunching numbers! Over time, the list of actual companies on the listing has increased. Usually there is a "West Ham LAN" which is Pete - and even though he works in London, it always tells me he's in Manchester. But anyway. A fair few of them I can look at and know who they are, but the company ones always make me wonder.

So I am checking through today, and figured "What the hell", so copied, pasted, highlighted and, here we are! For your viewing pleasure, the companies that view are highlighted in Yellow. The really interesting one is highlighted in Blue.

Yes folks, NASA have been and read my blog! hehe As for all the others - well, I actually have NO clue who they could be, but most of them are usually on the list. I think the one in Ireland is probably Alan, but then, it could be anyone. PriceWaterhouseCoopers is a large building in London right next door to Guys Hospital. The rest, no idea.

And just for laughs, the most common visitors here at the top, with 17 from Las Vegas, and 14 from Rancho Cucamonga are actually three or four people. The Las Vegas two are Joansy and Terri, the Rancho two are Christine and Karin. The rest, well, I've got pretty much all of Australia covered, but can only think of Tim and a couple of heart mums out there. Telewest in Edinburgh is probably Minge, while Telewest in Basildon could be one of four or five people. Everyone else - not a clue! hehe

Random Musings

Wow, is it seriously Christmas is just four days? You know what, I am actually sort of looking forward to it this year. Generally, I've never been much of an Xmas person, especially since being an adult, but fingers crossed this is going to be a good one.

All is cold and frosty here in Sunny Basildon. At least, I assume it is, as the fog is preventing me seeing much. Needless to say I got out of bed to go to the loo and shot downstairs to my friend the thermostat. Less Brrrr, More Ahhh. I was up at six this morning, wandering the web, checking mails, doing my usual daily rituals. However, I didn't need to perform said-rituals, as Jaysens last day at school was yesterday. That, and his grandparents kidnapped him last night so he could stay at theirs. They were over last night, and upon leaving at 1130pm, Jaysen went with them.

Buh-bye now, cya later!

So, with no school, I could have slept in till ten, eleven this morning. But that's the realm of women-sorts. Us long-haired manly men are up with the, er, rooster (guess which word I almost used there!) playing on our computers, drinking tea. And building barns. And stuff.

Checking the StatCounter this morning showed someone searching for "badger minge song video", not to mention "Yaar Har Fiddle-de-Dee!" seems popular again. Not sure what I am dribbling on about? Well my friend, educate yourself.

StatCounter has also been showing me something interesting over the last few weeks. The site that is referring me more than any other is... Other Emmas Cbox? Sometimes Joansy gets close, and occasionally Mark or the old blog URL, but it is ALWAYS that particular Cbox at the top. Very 0dd.

Also in the World a la Dan, this bloody great desk is doing my head in, so we're shifting it off to a friend over the weekend and getting me a new, smaller one. I want to see out the window, mainly, but this desk block a third of that and it's set too-far back. Fussy eh? hehe

Now I just need to shift this absolute bitch of a headache sometime soon. Bloody thing won't leave me alone.

Oh, forgot to add. For you American-sorts: Boxing Day. Usually the day after Xmas Day, but as for it's origins, it seems we don't know ourselves... I found a Wikipedia entry for you to read over, but some of you English/Convict sorts might want to check it too, to see why we get an extra day of Christmas!