Mother Nature: Confuzzled
Ask most people over here at the moment, and they will agree that the weather really needs to make it's fricking mind up. In the space of a week, we've had snow, wind, rain, fog, sun, and even "mild" weather.
However, last weekend, the silly bint lost the plot on a massive scale. See, for some reason, she couldn't decide what she wanted it to be. And I don't mean in a regional way either.
As is usual when I am on Canvey of a weekend, Saturday is when Kellies eldest child has his football practice. Rain or Shine, we head on over to the fields behind the sports center and watch a dozen kids and a couple of adults run about for a couple of hours.
This saturday, we woke up to a fairly thick fog, a freezing fog no less, along with snow, frozen everything, and snow drifting out the sky. We headed to the fields carefully, the kids slipping and falling all over the place, our lower legs getting covered in snow, our feet freezing in the ice. We couldn't see very far ahead of ourselves, and the snow blowing in our eyes made it even more amusing.
When we arrived at football and the boys all started charging about, pretty much the whole world appeared as such:
Chilly, and then some. You will need to click on that picture to see the sheer BRRRR factor - though one of the kids, in his wisdom, was wearing shorts... Mentalist. You can't actually see the snow coming down in any of the photos I took, but still, it's there!
While we are standing there shivering our proverbial bits off, Kellies mum messages her to ask how things are. Kellie jokes that she's freezing cold and suchlike. Her mum - who lives a few minutes away - asks why, as it's not that cold.
Eh?
So Kellie says something like, "you know, in the snow and fog" to which her mum comes back with "what snow and fog?"
To reiterate... Eh?
A minute later, a picture message arrives on my phone from her mum, taken out of her front door.
No Ice.
No Snow.
No Fog.
Not even frost.
Canvey Island is flat. Flatter that week-old road kill. There are no strange weather systems above it. There is no geological feature to mess with the wind - which, I should add, usually howls across the flat little place in the Thames Estuary.
To give you an idea of how close the two places are, here's a pic from Google.
Mr Google tells me it's 2.1 miles between the two points, via road. Taking into account a one-way system and twists and turns, you can pretty much bet it's not much over a mile and a half between the two points in a straight line.
So, Mother Nature, please. Get a grip. And send us some nice weather. Pretty please.
However, last weekend, the silly bint lost the plot on a massive scale. See, for some reason, she couldn't decide what she wanted it to be. And I don't mean in a regional way either.
As is usual when I am on Canvey of a weekend, Saturday is when Kellies eldest child has his football practice. Rain or Shine, we head on over to the fields behind the sports center and watch a dozen kids and a couple of adults run about for a couple of hours.
This saturday, we woke up to a fairly thick fog, a freezing fog no less, along with snow, frozen everything, and snow drifting out the sky. We headed to the fields carefully, the kids slipping and falling all over the place, our lower legs getting covered in snow, our feet freezing in the ice. We couldn't see very far ahead of ourselves, and the snow blowing in our eyes made it even more amusing.
When we arrived at football and the boys all started charging about, pretty much the whole world appeared as such:
Chilly, and then some. You will need to click on that picture to see the sheer BRRRR factor - though one of the kids, in his wisdom, was wearing shorts... Mentalist. You can't actually see the snow coming down in any of the photos I took, but still, it's there!
While we are standing there shivering our proverbial bits off, Kellies mum messages her to ask how things are. Kellie jokes that she's freezing cold and suchlike. Her mum - who lives a few minutes away - asks why, as it's not that cold.
Eh?
So Kellie says something like, "you know, in the snow and fog" to which her mum comes back with "what snow and fog?"
To reiterate... Eh?
A minute later, a picture message arrives on my phone from her mum, taken out of her front door.
No Ice.
No Snow.
No Fog.
Not even frost.
Canvey Island is flat. Flatter that week-old road kill. There are no strange weather systems above it. There is no geological feature to mess with the wind - which, I should add, usually howls across the flat little place in the Thames Estuary.
To give you an idea of how close the two places are, here's a pic from Google.
Mr Google tells me it's 2.1 miles between the two points, via road. Taking into account a one-way system and twists and turns, you can pretty much bet it's not much over a mile and a half between the two points in a straight line.
So, Mother Nature, please. Get a grip. And send us some nice weather. Pretty please.
2 Responses to “Mother Nature: Confuzzled”
only a brit could find something to complain about every day in a week that contained EVERY type of weather imaginable.
You're brave to venture out in that lot! We had the same here in Orpington.
It reminds me of standing on a hill in Africa (yonks ago) and watching a small rain cloud move towards us, drench us and move away, in the space of about twenty minutes. My friends in a car thirty feet away were untouched. Never experienced anything like it since.
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