Thank You All

Yesterday was rougher than I thought it might be.  Granted, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I found myself struggling to stay focused, positive and on track.

However, one of the things that kept me going was all the support and help being sent my way.  Message after message on here, Facebook, email, text message.  People saying prayers, sending love, and making comments on how gorgeous my little Bethy is.

Kellie was there for me as she always is, listening to me prattle on about everything, holding my hand and being my shoulder to cry on and my rock.  OK, she's only tiny, so she was my pebble ;)  On the downside, she had to run off early as her son decided to go crashing down in the playground and bump pretty much his entire body.  Bless ;)

The afternoon before I got Jaysen, I hung out with Ruth, just chatting and putting the world to rights.  She had had Tam for me all morning - I didn't want to take her up to Bethys garden with me, and Ruth offered to have her.  For a couple of hours, I drank all of Ruths coffee, watched her make a stew and generall chilled out.

After the school run, Jaysen, Tamsyn and me piled back into our house and did some clearing up and tidying up before I set to doing dinner.  At which point my brain decided I wasn't quite done, so while frying some beef, I had another cry.  I blame Leona Lewis this time...  Her new song - which is a cover of a song I loved already - just seems to choke me up, and low-and-behold, it decided to come on.

Tamsyn caught me weeping - as she does, and I suspect was probably sent downstairs by her sister - and gave me a massive cuddle and kept telling me "it's OK" and "I love you daddy"  Of course, that choked me up too, so I just gave her cuddles.

After that, things seemed... I don't know - I've always been a firm believer in crying.  I'm not one of these manly blokey-blokes that holds back and grunts.  If I'm sad, I cry.

And I felt better for it.

After dinner, I felt positively more focused and with it.  Bathed the kids, got them to bed, rocked out to Dutch Trance!

So, again, to everyone - yesterday, and over the last eight years, thank you.  Thank you for being there for me, thank you for your words of encouragement, thank you for the support I've had.

But damn that Lewis woman for choking me up!




I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

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5 Responses to “Thank You All”

Lynzi said...

You made me cry again!, 2 mornings in a row, its not good for my street cred you know lol. Seriously tho, She is so precious and I cant imagine how hard its been for you, but I'm very proud of you, I've only known you for a short time but its been long enough for me to see what a top bloke you are, even tho you profess to be a manly man at times :-P I think we can all see how caring and loving you are, and Bethy couldnt have hoped for a better Dad than you.
Lynzi xx

Em's way said...

Huge Hugs mate, I am sure bethy did give her little sis a boot in the right direction when you needed her most, and am just as sure, that tamsyn was Bethys voice. bethy will always be an extra special little girl xxxxxx

debbie said...

you know honey,, no thanks is needed mate,, you have a very special angel watching over you, and that comes out in both your children,, i think you and jo (not forgetting anyone here) have done remarkably well with what the CHD life has thrown at you for the past 8 years,,

Bethy was one special little lady when she was here and even more so now she is an Angel,, she will always be missed by those who knew her and those who were touched by all she went through and never actually got to meet her ever,,

splodge said...

Thanks not required. It must be the hardest thing in the world to lose a child -I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like.

Crying is healthy - gets it all out.

Deni said...

Warm hugs from me,Dan,that song was so touching, I am still snivelling here.
You are a strong person and a wonderful Dad for for kids..you are a special kind.Bless you Peace Deni (from Canada)