There's An Election On...

And, more's the point, I am sick to the back teeth of it all.

I have several "issues" with it, the first and foremost being - and I am not ashamed to admit this at all - I really don't GET IT.  As far as I am concerned, if there is a vote, the person with the most votes wins.  THAT is what I think Democracy is all about.

However, with this election - and every single one before it - I've had jargon and terms and all kinds of crap thrown in my general direction, and my main thought has been "What shall I do for dinner tonight" or "What IS the difference between off white and eggshell white..."

It has gotten to the point where I simply DO. NOT. CARE.

"But Dan!" I hear you cry "This is your country, democracy in action, people died for you to have a vote, people sacrificed everything so you could vote" and that may be true.  But our forefathers and their forefathers probably didn't want to know about The House of Commons Swing or Key Constituencies and all the rest of that crap.

If Man-In-Suit-X gets the most votes, then that means the most people liked his spouted rubbish.  So let him be Prime Minister.

"If you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain" others will say to me.  Actually, yes I will.  In fact, I have MORE right.  See, if you vote in Man #1, and he ends up doing a really shit job (like, say, every other PM before him), you can't complain because YOU PUT HIM THERE.

It's like the prats that shower with the hairdryer, then sue the company.  You bloody did it, accept the consequences.

And bugger me sideways, if one more news article reads "Poll Suggests THIS!" I will cry.  Like a baby.  These polls are working out where the country stands.  Yes, of course it bloody does, by interviewing 1000 doing their shopping, they can tell how the WHOLE bleeding country is going to vote.

"Let's combine all these polls!" the news teams cry, so then you get the Poll Of Polls!  Which is five polls of 1000 people each.  And every time someone has stopped me in the street and said "Who you voting for?" I say either A) The first bunch of idiots that springs to mind, or B) I look in the other direction.

What's even MORE annoying is the gits that rush up to you in the street wearing their pretty coloured ribbon things, and say things like "Hi, I'm Mr or Mrs Lying Git from This Party, can I count on YOUR vote?!" and I will always smile and say "Oh Hi, yes, I was voting for you anyway!"

Take that into your number crunching you dicks.

The thing is, every party is saying they will do This, That or The Other, and that The Other Party will do This wrong, or That incorrectly, or cut The Other into oblivion.  But you know what.  Whoever we vote for, whoever gets into power - they'll do exactly the same things as all the others.  Promises will become targets that will become goals, that will get bounced and bumped around until it doesn't resemble anything like it did when they were campaigning.  Within 6-9 months, people will be moaning about everything the new government is doing, and not long after that, the other smug parties will say "Well, we told you so"

And then it's years later, and we vote in another bunch of spanners.

So yes, you can have my vote.  In fact, sod it.  Me for Prime Minister.  I can't do much worse a job.

Though I struggle to lie.

Please, keep your leaflets, your posters, your promises/lies of a better future, your slogans and booklets, your pretty graphs of statistics, the news channels spouting that He kissed a baby, and He said this about Him, and He dismantled Their promises,  and everything else.  Whatever happens, it will be wrong. 

But I still don't get it.

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2 Responses to “There's An Election On...”

Posh Totty said...

Oi Dan, Gedoutofmehead!!!! ;o)

Anonymous said...

put the queen back in charge