Happy Birthday My Little Angel

In a true sign of time flying, today would have been Bethanys 10th birthday.  Ten years have passed since that day in Guys Hospital when a small pinkish-blueish wiggly baby changed my life.

Even from before she was born, the list of things she would had to have coped with was longer than most any adult would have a hard time dealing with, and once she was born, the medical team just kept finding things wrong.

But you know what, Bethy did not care.  She didn't give a monkeys.  Now sure, she knew that, if she ran around like a loon for five minutes, she'd find herself blue as a baboons backside and be wiped out for the rest of the day, but the difference is, she didn't care.

Bethy loved everyone.  Everyone.  Without pause and without fail.  She would talk to anyone that would talk to her, she would proudly show off her zippers to anyone that asked about heart surgery.  She didn't care what they looked like, she didn't care about their gender, their creed or their accents.  To her, everyone around her was a wonderful person.


The amount of love my little gorgeous showered upon me was incredible.  Even if she had to have something done she didn't particularly like or enjoy, she accepted it, took it in her stride and carried on.

And today, my little gorgeous would have been ten, and I still miss her every single day, and wish with every ounce of who I am that things could be just a little different...  I know they aren't and I know they won't be, but none the less...

To my little angel, Bethy...

Happy Birthday my sweet little princess.  I wish so much that you were here right now, just so I can give you a great big cuddle.  Ten years is a very long time, and I can't help but wonder how big you would have gotten.  Probably not very, you were always so very.. dinky.

Know that every day I miss you, every day I think of you and imagine you running around, not a care in the world, loving every minute of everything you do.  I am so proud of you my little angel, for everything you ever did, bringing people together across countries, raising awareness for other children just like you.  Not a day goes by without me missing you, thinking about you.

Jaysen still talks about you, asks questions about you, and now of course you'd have extra people to run around with.  I imagine you'd cause all sorts of trouble with Dominic and Molly as well as Jaysen at your beck and call, ruling over everyone with your sparkling eyes and your lovely little smile.  And Tamsyn is always talking about her big sister Bethy, though we did have an issue last year with Tam thinking Kellie was coming up with you.

Bless her, getting confused between Heaven and Devon.

I wish so much that you could meet Kellie.  I know that you would have her wrapped around your little finger in a heartbeat.  Just like everyone else in the world, she would love you to the very core and be taken in by those big storm-grey eyes, regardless of the naughty things you ever did.

Need I mention the drum of paint you and Jaysen "accidentally" smeared all over the carpet?  Or the exploding Bean Bags on TWO occasions?

So, to my wonderful little Bethy, Happy Birthday.  I miss you very much, and love you so much.  I promise to make up for all the cuddles we've missed, for all the kisses I've not given you and for all the stories I've not read you at bed time, but for now, keep dancing, my little princess, keep running, keep jumping and keep playing.

Happy Birthday Bethy.

And yes, I see you baby...