All Over The Place...

Warning: This post is long, moaning and whiny.

You may have noticed, that, aside from a couple of stroppy moaning posts, 0ddness has been fairly quiet for a goodly amount of time.  I DO have excuses, I am moody, angry, pissed off, sad, busy...

When I say "We've not stopped of late" I am so NOT over-exaggerating.  Everything has been a constant had graft for the last few weeks, and it was either a constant stream of pissed off or depressing blog posts, or to just step away from it and take a breath.

Things are STILL all over the place, but none the less...

The biggest shitter of the moment would be the loss of Arwen, the little cat I had gotten Kellie a couple of years back.  We were sat curled up on the sofa watching TV one night a few weeks back, when someone knocked on the door and asked if we owned a little black and white cat.  I knew what was next, and looked past her, and saw her lying in the road.

As Kellie put on on her status, she might not have been the full ticket - just search "Arwen" on here and find pictures of her being an idiot - but she was a wonderful cat, quite probably the most loving one I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.  She grew up on Canvey, and the road she lived on, the traffic stopped for her.  Long Riding is a busy road, and it was dark, and, well, I dreaded the day.

I KNOW there are those of you out there that are thinking to yourself "It's just a cat" and that might be true.  But she was brilliant and will be very missed.

Just a week before she died, we were talking about getting her a little friend, but weren't sure what we should do - obviously we didn't want to just "replace" Arwen, but the house just seemed strange without her running about doing cat-things.  A week later, I went out to look at a few litters of kittens, and through no fault of my own, returned with *cough*two*cough* kittens for Kellie...

We WERE going to call them Katrina & Gustav, after the hurricanes that hit the USA, but they just don't seem to be sticking...  So, currently, they remain nameless, but ARE very cute:

So, that is that section of the interesting things...

On a personal level, I am having lots of problems, thanks to both lack of sleep, and an abundance of pain.  I am constantly very tired, cranky, I feel sick, I have a near-constant headache, I've got a sore throat (I suspect I've got a cold kinda sorta trying to push its way out), my hands hurt, plus the tiredness is making me paranoid and worry over the most stupid of things.  I find myself questioning everything, but when I try to vocalise it, I just sound like a whiny little boy, so don't.  I do what I do best, put on a smile, suck it up and try to just get on with life and put a shiny façade on the outside.

Ideally, I need to get back to the GP and tell him that, while I didn't have too many issues on the Amytriptyline, they stopped doing anything after a couple of weeks.  No pain relief, no help sleeping, nothing.  So on Friday morning, I am going to phone Mr Doctor Man and get an appointment.  Jaysen & Tam are going back to their mum Thursday, Dom is going to his nan Thursday night, leaving Molly here.  Kellie has Friday off (hopefully, assuming her boss/friend in work is in with her broken wrist!) so I can pop out and not worry about bored kids being, well, bored.

On the work-front, Kellie has had some good news, which is something.  The place she currently works - which is owned by Kerrys dad - is having a jiggle... Kellie was there while Kerry was up the duff and then dealing with a newborn, but at the beginning of September, she is going back to work, meaning Kellies job would be over.  However... And bare with me on this... Christopher, one of the asbestos analysts, has taken a job elsewhere.  Kerry recently passed her asbestos-analysis-type-exam, and so she is going back to work but in Christophers place.  With the system they work on being overhauled, Kerrys job, which was full-time, is now going part time.  Kellie was saying a few weeks back that she loves the job, but isn't sure she loves full time work as she misses the kids... But now Kerrys job is part time, and Kerry is changing, that leaves her job open - which means Kellie can carry on what she is loving, flexible part time, with the people she loves working with.

Clear as mud?

In short, Kellie is staying in her job, with less hours (that we want, as I miss her too!) and doesn't have to go through the rigmarole of job hunting.

Flowing from current jobs to previous, Gimme Gizmo, you will be happy to hear, will see all their blog posts back, as I have found a new host thanks to James, hosted in Germany.  And you know what they do?  They PROTECT free speech AND their customer.  So as soon as the Domain is shifted away from Namesco - who do not support their customers - and to the new company in Germany, then all the original Gimme Gizmo/DRW posts will return to the world.

A boost to my ego/confidence today, however, came from my diet.  I know I have the diet blog, and I admit I have been lax in updating it of late thanks to how busy everything is... Last week, thanks to a combination of eating out, a take-away, and feeling poorl, I had my first weight gain since starting the diet.  Granted, it was only a pound, but it pissed me off, and made me work harder this week.

Perhaps I worked a little too hard maybe, as even with a pizza I NEEDED during the week, I managed to take off seven and a half pounds!!  Needless to say, the girls at Slimming World threatened to push me down the stairs (all in jest, I should add), but I was very chuffed.  Today, I reached my two-stone-lost goal, and have now officially lost 10% of my starting body weight.  In ten weeks.

Not too shabby.

Otherwise, there is all the stuff I am not posting on the blog.  Other stuff that is hitting the fan and just causing stress and stuff, that I am not posting so they can't throw stuff at us.  Not yet, anyway. Depriving them of ammunition, would be the best description.

The WORST part of this shit-storm, is the negative affect it is having on Kellie, and the fact that I am can do precisely nothing to help her.  I HATE feeling useless, I HATE not being able to do something to make it better, to fix it... So Kellie is having a shit time of late, and all I can do is hold her hand and be there for her.

I know that everything seems worse as I am so damn tired, and I am sure some of you are reading this thinking "Well, there are worse things..." but it's all just on top of me right now, so hopefully by blogging it out of my system, I'll be able to put things into perspective a little more and get my arse into gear.  Give it a while, and I will get my arse into gear and start blogging on a regular basis once again.

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