Word of the Day

For this fine, wonderful, glorious grey, flat, drizzly summer morning, allow me to give you a definition for the day.

Todays word is "Futility"

We (and by "we" I mean "Kellie") are slowly decorating our way through the house.  I told Kellie when she moves in, that she had free reign, to go nuts, and to tell me "This is how THIS room is going to be"  You may mistake me for being a lazy man, but as long as it's not green or some bright, outrageous colour, I am quite happy to have the rooms whatever colours.

So, at the moment, she is alternating between doing the bedroom, and doing the living room.  Yesterday, the bedroom had Furniture Change Around #5.  In seven months.  The lounge was redone a couple of weeks back too, and I think that was #6 or so.

Anyway, bedroom is going to be dark - slatey type colours - and the lounge some sort of redish colour - terracotta, maybe.  But I can't remember to be honest.  So we'll just leave it at Terracotta and be done with it.

Today, Kellie is at work, and asked me to pop into town for a couple of items.  Namely, items of certain colours for their specific rooms.  Bedding for one, curtains for the other.

Now, you may think that being told "Get THIS and Get THAT" would be easy, however, you may recall that yours truly is colour blind.  So, as backup, I took Molly with me.  Being a girl helps as they "get" colours, and especially NOT being colourblind is a bonus.  My seeing-eye-child, as it were.

Terracotta Curtains, Slate Bedding.  How hard could it be*

There were four ports of call in town for me to check for said-items, so we opted for the one furthest first, then headed back through town until we were done. Easy peasy.

First shop, sod all curtains, the closest to terracotta being Porn Red.  I'm talking so RED I could see they were RED.  On scale with the Blood Red House of DEATH across the road from me. I'm thinking "Plant Pot" colour as invariably, plant pots are terracotta.  Apparently.

First shop also had zero bedding items in Slates/Greys etc.  They DID have black, but I was under orders for Slate or Grey.  Remember that.

Second shop DID have deep red curtains, but at £127, I didn't think they were THAT nice.  They didn't have anything resembling Slate nor Grey, but again they did have black.  But I don't want black.

Third Shop - Asda - and I'm now losing heart AND interest. Everything I look at I have to say to Molly "What colour is that" only to be told it's red, or brown, or blue... I'm also supposed to be getting Clear Varnish which I am also failing to find.  So, I call The Boss and whine.  I can't find this, Molly saw this, I can't find that..."

Mollys find, however, was a set of brownish curtains with dark red flowers on them - and on describing them to Kellie, she said they sounded nice.  On telling her the price tag, she decided they were NOT so nice... As for the bedding, Kellie had a brainwave.  "Get black, and get some extra grey pillowcases!"

Yes, black would also be acceptable to her, despite seeing LOTS of black bedding thus far today.  While I'm bitching, I also spot the clear varnish.  In the motoring section, of course.  "Oh, can you also get some nice hooks and some other hooks please" she asks me in her sexy You'll Do It For Me Because I've Got A Sexy Voice voice.

"Yes dear"

So, I grab some "nice" hooks and some "other" hooks - strangely, ALSO in the motoring section - and head back to the bedding, and get a black set which I now notice is reversible... The other side?  Grey!  I am a shopping genius.

With my items now in my possession, I rapidly pay and get the f'k out of dodge and back home, and proceed to collapse on the sofa.  I had a very VERY busy day yesterday, and am suffering for it today.  I'm also typing this with a kitten firmly attached to my right forearm.

As I stated at the front of this post, todays word is Futility: Sending a colourblind man out to buy colour-based items to match a colour-based room, neither of which he has much clue about.

Doghouse Diaries summed it up very well with this chart that you will have to clicky to embiggen:

Now, you will have to excuse me. I need to eat, I need a coffee and painkillers, and I am expecting James to phone at any moment when he realises that he has been mocked in the comments of TWO blog posts.  Yes, for those that used to read his blog, he is back blogging again - this time as a cross-dressing panicky new father!



*very