The Worlds Most Boring Job?

There are some boring jobs in the world.  I should know, I have trained as an accountant, and I've even attached the discs to the front of computer magazines in a warehouse.

But then, there are jobs that you think might be cool, only to realise after a few nanoseconds of thought that, in all actuality, are boring enough to make you want to throw yourself under a train.

Which is ironic, in this case.

Last week, as you may recall, we had to go to the hospital to have my eye checked.  On the way back, we jumped on the first train we saw, and - obviously - it was the wrong one, so we had to change at Pitsea.  Pitsea is a station known for being grotty. It's old looking, it has lots of dark nooks and crannies for murderers to lie in wait, and generally, needs the kiss of life, let alone the remodelling which is it currently undergoing.

So, we're sat on a bench waiting for our train to put in an appearance, and I notice a man on the next bench along.  He's wearing full-body High-Visibility clothing, so screaming to be noticed. Added to this, he's wearing a hard hat.

Ten feet from where we are sitting.

At the very very far end of the platform - which is a pretty fair distance - are similarly-dressed men doing whatever it is they are doing on/beside the tracks.  I assume the man on the bench beside us is on a break. He's sat but kinda stretched right out like he's about to go to sleep at a forty-five degree angle, hands up behind is helmeted-head, a tool-belt discarded by his feet, and has a newspaper sticking out of his pocket.

Fifteen minutes later, the train on the opposite side to where we are comes around the corner in the distance. The Yellow Man springs to action.  Well, I say springs. He reaches down and from his tool belt pulls out a horn (not of the animal variety) and proceeds to let off a long toooooooooot. At the same time, he waves a little flag in the air.

Then it hits me.  He's watching out for trains to warn the other Yellow Men that they're all about to DIE.  Now, consider that the trains are once every thirty minutes, this man is sitting still for 29 minutes and 45 seconds, then toooooooooting his horn and waving his flag.

It was like the worlds shittest parade.

Surely, honestly, in this day and age, when there are so many electrical, intelligent, data-collecting tools and gadgets out there, the need for a man with a horn and a flag are gone?! I refuse to believe that there is nothing that can do a job in the same manner.  If we're all so willing to let traffic lights direct us not to crash, alarms to tell us we're about to die of some poison or another - not to mention the countless items that can be used to keep people alive and what-have-you, surely there must be a better way than have a reeeally bored man do fifteen seconds of work every thirty minutes?!

As an aside, you also have to chuckle at the Health & Safety aspect of it as well - the fact he was on the platform with the rest of us Normals, yet had to wear High Visibility clothing AND a Hard Hat, AND work boots.  It's the same for the bus drivers at the main station down the road.  When they get off their bus, they have to wear High Visibility vests... While walking through the bus station that the rest of Basildonia is currently walking through. 

Yes, the strangest things make it as blog posts.  My brain is an interesting yet complex machine.


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3 Responses to “The Worlds Most Boring Job?”

James said...

LOL Dan, you can tell you have never worked on the railway. For ANY job on the railway that involves trackside work, yes I do mean any, including, well sitting there doing nothing, you have to wear full High-Vis clothing including a hardhat. As for the guy tooting and waving, I do believe there is a system in place to warn of approaching trains. Despite the racket they make and the fact you can hear them coming and the vibrations. But even with electronic gadgets, nothing beats the old fashioned pair of eyes. Even if they do fall asleep now and then. I mean you wouldnt trust your life to a windows operationg system would you? Oh hang on a minute..... ;o)

Dan said...

Can you imagine me working on the railway? Honestly?

Adullamite said...

Indeed the man with a flag and a toot from the train is the safest system on the railways! That is a job I would happily do, whatever the weather. Watching out for a train, blowing a horn, waving a flag, even I could manage this.