Predators

Sometimes, Kellie says things that tickle me.  The sort of thing that she stumbles into and makes me chuckle.  Quite often, she says something that just makes me wet myself. And then proceed to use against her over and over again until the knife-drawer is opened.

Once she's out of arms reach, IE, at work, then she's fair game again.  The "Things She Says" series of blog posts are always chuckle-worthy, and even she sits and reads them giggling to herself... Probably A) Knowing that she said it and I heard, and B) That it's just going on the pile of excuses to kill yours truly.

However, I am not to be deterred.

Last week, we were watching one of these blokes that goes it alone in the wilderness, doing the whole survival thing.  Survivorman is quite interesting, but we both prefer Bear Grylls and his Man vs. Wild series, but none the less, we sat and watched him do his survival thing.

This episode was set in the Canadian Boreal Forest, far to the north of the Americas, snowy, cold... Northern Canada. The chap is talking about how harsh the weather can turn - cue images of snow and ice - and that everything is struggling to survive.  He then moves on to the large mammals that live up there, and that while there are plenty of bears, it's not the bears that scare him but "another large mammal during it's mating season" that often kills people defending it's territory or chasing down a female or whatever...

And the screen flicks to this:

Dangeous...

OK, Northern Canada, cold, snow, ice, swimming mammal, highly dangerous during mating season... Kellies brain took all these facts - especially the part about Canada and came out with the following answer...

"Kangaroo"

I had to pause the program. I couldn't see, I couldn't breath, I was in fits. Within a millisecond of the guffaws escaping my mouth, she knew what she meant, she knew what it should have been, but it's NOT what she said.  Before any of you Upside-Down-Australian-Convicts point out that Kangaroos CAN swim, that is not the matter that is being debated.  I know they can swim. However, swimming, living in the frozen Canadian Forests and killing people on a regular basis I think it a little out of their league.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Aw Poor Kellie" but you need to realise she is with me because she loves me.  THIS is what she loves really...

And the final icing on the cake, that part that actually makes this ALL the more amusing - while writing this post, I was looking for some stats on both the springy giant rat, and the rage-filled death-cow, and find that someone has done a fantasy-battle type thing of Kangaroo vs Moose.  If you were in doubt over which was the killer and which, well, wasn't... Then it's worth a read ;)