Le Whoopsie Daisy
For many years, I have been fighting this mistress, She-That-Makes-Me-Fall-Down-And-Over-Things-Constantly, and it is obvious to most that this is a battle I am not winning.
Not by any stretch of any imagination.
However, sometimes, you have to wonder why Gravity alters things.
Case in point. If you're a D&D player, you will appreciate this. You drop a dice off the table, at low velocity, and it disappears under the table. You'll spend the next ten minutes trying to find it, only to discover it hit a worm-hole, vanished from our dimension and reappeared on the other side of the house.
In a smoking jacket, sipping a G & T.
If you work in an office, similar things happen to that pen that fell off the desk. It falls 3.5ft to the ground, warps at light speed, and ends up under the desk of that woman with the nice legs and short skirt, and the only reason you ended up under her desk was to get your pen back.
No, the sexual harassment people didn't believe me either.
My point is this. Kellie is currently a very unhappy little camper. See, months and months and months ago, we were impressed at the durability of our very very swanky phones. You may remember me drooling over it repeatedly, but, for those unaware, it's this:
Oooh sexy.
Back to the durability. Not long after moving in, Kellie managed to drop this phone down the stairs. Very top, to very bottom. No carpets. The bottom, I should add, is a solid floor too. Crash-Thump-Back-Crash.
It survived without a mark, scratch or problem. We were very impressed.
Last night, however, Gravity proved once more that she is a complete bitch.
Kellies phone managed to slip from the sofa seat. 1.5ft from top to bottom. Eighteen inches.
The screen shattered, from the bottom and stretching up about two thirds of the way to the top.
Kellie, it is safe to say, went through a metamorphosis at this point. Unlike, however, a caterpillar, she did NOT come out the other side a beautiful creature, but a very very very very very pissed of creature of satanic proportions.
She was NOT a happy bun-bun.
Suffice to say, last night was spent with me cowering in the corner trying not to make eye contact. This morning, she got up early and came downstairs like someone had woken her up and told her her bum DID look big in that dress.
The kids left early this morning. Sorry, did I say "left"... I meant "ran"
We trundled into town to visit the few phone repair shops in town which are akin to chocolate teapots and glass hammers... "It's really hard to get that part" or "I don't know" and "You have to buy the glass screen with the LCD screen so it costs loads" were the general replies.
Of course, this worked WONDERS for someones joy.
We came home and I had a poke around online, and found a company that can repair them for much less than the quoted prices, but we had to send them the phone. So, padded postage bags and Special Delivery later, Kellie is phoneless.
Or, rather, she WOULD be phoneless were it not for Molly letting mummy use her phone.
State of the art.... That's one way NOT to describe this phone:
 |
| Oooh Swanky!! |
Still, on the plus side, her proper phone should be back by Thursday or, more likely, Friday... And that means this phone won't need to be charged in the time she is stuck with it - Hurrah Battery Life!!
Now if you will excuse me, I am returning to my bunker before she reads this post and flays the skin from my body with just a single look...
/runs away
Name: Dan English
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