Med Change

As mentioned on Facebook yesterday, I have started on new meds... Allow me to back track "a little"

Many years ago - eight or nine - I was referred to the Pain Management clinic. Back then, I'd already been told my pain was psychological, in my mind, not as bad as I made it out to be, and part of having a degrading spine. The very helpful *cough*UselessTwat*cough* changed my meds from one containing codeine to another...

Containing codeine.

Very helpful, and the difference was the same as when you try and explain the difference between Off-White and Eggshell-White to a man. Especially a colourblind man. Ultra-especially a colourblind man that dridn't care about the different between Off-White and Eggshell-White...

And there I've stayed, with cocodamol as my base drug for "breakthrough pain" Over the years, my doc has experimented with the right drug for managing the pain over time. I've been on things like Amytriptyline (and I remember some very loopy blog posts while high on that car-crash of a drug) to Tramadol to Diclofenac and Pregabalin.

Nothing really does a lot, and after the minor mishap a few weeks back which, I've been told was called a "staggered overdose" I've had to lower my cocodamol intake. The downside of which is that my pain levels have gone from "barely managed" to "through the f$cking roof"

So last week, Mr GP decided a new radical approach was needed. And my cocodamol was stopped, and replaced with a patch... The drug in question is called Buprenorphine, and is very similar to morphine. It's used in cases of high to severe pain, and comes in three doses, 5mg, 10mg and 20mg.

Of course, with my body being a twat and usually churning out as many side effects as it can in  reaction to new drugs, the doc has started me on the lowest dose. The patch delivers 5ug (micrograms?) an hour over a period of seven days. I'm to use this patch for a week then, assuming there are no side effects I can't deal with, next week I get to apply two patches.

Now, it's supposed to work within 12-36 hours, and here were are, 38 hours in. And there is nothing positive going on.

At. All.

So I'm reducing the one painkiller that generally stops me writhing in pain and sobbing like a baby, so another medication can take over. Another painkiller that is not actually doing anything.

At. All.

This weekend has been shit. With a capital S. And H. And I. Yep, and T. I'm laying here at midnight Monday morning and just want to crack my head into a wall in an effort to pass out.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to try seeing the doc. There is no way I'm going to make it through to NEXT weekend, especially on the off chance that the patch might do nothing at all.

Don't get me wrong, I'm hopeful it will work, and would be over the moon if it meant I can cut out an entire batch of pills, but I need it to work. I feel like complete and utter shit, and can barely function.

But you know, it's all in my mind, a psychological pain, I'm just addicted to the drugs, and am faking it just to get out of work.

I'm hoping that when I wake up in the morning, things will seem and feel better. I'm hoping that, in light of the fact it's been rather manic and full on the last three weeks, I'm hoping it's just taking a little longer to get into my system.

Fingers crossed please. And whatever else you can send for luck...

In other news, my Facebook cull appears to have been a rousing success. If you are no longer listed as a friend, it's because there was no interaction between us on there whatsoever. I'm not having people on there from now on that just add me to have me count towards a Friend Total that means bugger all. If you want to have me as a friend, a chat or poke every now and then would be nice!

I'm considering a Twitter, Email and Mobile Number cull as well... I'm tired of fighting and struggling to have conversations with people that seemingly don't give a crap.

Yes, I know, I'm in pain, I've hardly slept, and I'm proper grumpy. I think I'm at the point where the naysayers in my life are now going to find out who they are. Want to accuse me of faking, see ya later. Want to tell me I should "think positive and I'll feel better", adios!

Those of you that chat with me, laugh, joke and take the piss out of one another, you're safe ;-)

Watch this space... I'm sure I'll talk about my Buprenorphine patches (BuTrans) later. Positively or Negatively, however, remains to be seen.