It's hard to imagine, and hard to write this - hence the delay in posting. But today, my beautiful angel, Bethany, would have been sixteen years old...
I can't wrap my head around it. Today, I've been flashing back to the day that she was born, and my memories are as fresh as they've always been. But those memories were intermingled with the day she left.
For the most part I've kept to myself today... Been watching TV, playing on my tablet, trying to keep myself busy. But now at half one in the morning, I'm laying in bed trying to keep my mind out of the bad places, remembering my Bethy as the beautiful, mad, funny, slightly mad little girl that I miss so dearly.
My beautiful girl, Bethy...
Happy birthday my little angel. I can't believe you would be sixteen today. Where ever you might be, I can only imagine how gorgeous you must be, let alone the sort of person you would be.
I am sure you are as brave and strong as you always were, and I know you are a beautiful girl. Friendly. Happy. Cheerful. Nothing phasing you as ever.
I imagine you dancing, and doing every single thing you always wanted to do, without any limitations, nothing stopping you. At sixteen, I know you would be planning your future, college, work... I dread to imagine how many boys you would have wrapped around your little finger - the way I always was. But know that all those boys would have to go through your daddy first.
Wherever you are, my sweet girl, whatever you are doing, I hope you are happy. That's all I have ever wanted for you. I just wish I could see you dancing, see the girl - the young woman - you would be turning into. I am absolutely sure you would be leading Poppy on with her shenanigans as well, and she would love her big sister.
I miss you so very much my Bethy. I think about you all the time, I miss you, but love you so very much.
Happy birthday Bethany. And remember, no matter what, I see you baby.
I see you.
Lots of love,