Names Changed To Protect The Innocent

Or, maybe not.

See, two weeks ago, between Xmas and New Year, our grand postal service dumped the Christmas Cards friends from the states had sent. Now, the USPS might work come rain, snow, wind or whatever, but the old Jolly Royal Mail suck. Any international mail shoots from the home country, wings across continents, oceans, and finally hits the UK. Where it promptly screeches to a grinding halt so some doddery old git can decide which box to put it in.

But this isn't about the postal service.

Note - it should be pointed out envelopes hate me. They just do not like me in any way, shape or form. Most people get mail, tear a corner, run their finger along an edge, and it tears. Not with me, oh no - they like to hang on to the treasure within, clinging to the mail for dear life until I can finally disembowl it. Usually, the envelope is shredded. The contents surviving is a lottery.

Anyways, one of these cards I noticed was from a friend - let's call her Suzy Q - in California. So, I tear it open in true Dan-Style, and low and behold, the woman we are calling Suzy Q had emptied a truck load of glitter hearts into the card. Very pretty. Of course, they fit perfectly inside keyboards. And under anything with an atom-worth of clearance under it.

And here we are two weeks later, and would you believe I am STILL finding this stuff that Suzy Q sent me. LOOK!


I've not used my mobile phone since before Xmas, just moved it to unplug it, and there's a small community of the glitter hearts hiding, worrying that they will soon become extinct. I've found them inside the keyboard (it's a good thing she lives abroad...) in my shoes, my pockets, in the washing machine and in TWO DVD cases!

Suzy Q, be wary.