You Know, Like... Stuff

So the weekend is gone again, and I am still tired, despite "sleeping in" till 9am on Saturday, and 10am on Sunday. I even had an early night last night - we were in bed before 10pm! Think I need a week off to recharge my batteries.

So... Sport. Never been into it, can't say I care who wins what cup, race, medal or record. It's just PE Class (Gym Class to you Americans), but with sponsors, drugs, money and more money. And you have to admit, "sport" is getting a lot, well... Crappier. Take this mornings "Headlines" for example:

SARASOTA, Fla. - It all came down to this: Jason Wood threw a "rock," crushing Erin Smith's "scissors" and earning him a trip to Las Vegas.

Wood, a 34-year-old server at an oyster bar, emerged from a field of 29 competitors to win the southwest Florida regional finals of the "Rock, Paper, Scissors" tournament Thursday night at a local country music nightclub, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported in Friday's editions.

Now he's off to Vegas to compete in the national tournament and a chance to win $50,000.

In case you missed it, "Rock, Paper, Scissors" — that same hand-to-hand game used to settle childhood disputes — is an organized sport now. The rules are the same: Rock smashes scissors. Paper smothers rock. Scissors cut paper.

In the finals, Wood took the first round, Smith the second. Wood went with the "rock" and took the rubber match.

"I'm on top of the world!" he said.

More than 300 people from across the country will compete in the April 9 tournament at the Luxor Resort Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

He's on top of the world? Yes, I am sure he is, the smallest world in the, ah, world. And then there is Cheerleading as a sport. Cheerleading? They are dancing/gymnasts. Sure, I couldn't do it, but then, they probably couldn't build a computer - but I don't wear a short skirt and prance around with my over-zealous Raar Raar about it.

Now the people that have to train all day every day for a sport, fair play to them. It takes a lot of commitment to be able to lift a car, or kick a ball THAT far, or whatever it is they do. But over here, these people become national heroes and get MEDALS. I think the Queen sits there with the sports pages and tells her slaves to "fetch in that Beckham fellow so I can give him a medal". Rooney (some football player) is worth a bajillion pounds and is Englands most expensive player or something. Why? Because the silly little shit can kick a ball? Come New Year, the Queen will give him a medal. No no, don't worry about the ambulance drivers, the fire fighters or Average Joe Public that save lives and work day in day out to help others - the prat that calls "work" 90 minutes of playing footy a few times a week and is worth more than an entire hospital - HE is much more deserving of recognition.

Because they don't have enough already.

And do not even get me started on "Extreme Eating". Yeah, you go, promote the obesity in the world. Congrats on eating 400 hotdogs in the space it takes most people to take a dump. I'm sure the homeless people love watching you eat that much food.

You can tell when I need sleep, I get all testy ;)