My Quiet Moment...

For the first time since who-knows-when, I find myself with a spare five minutes to sit and breathe. Things just seem crazy here, and I don't know why, it's literally one thing after another. Sick people, sick kids, sick dog, funeral...

Today is Jo's nans funeral. I was fine up until a week ago - I'm going there for Jo, I will be her rock, and I will comfort her. Until someone pointed out that I didn't *have* to go if I didn't think I could face it. Granted, I was a teeny bit confused, but said I would certainly be there. I let it drop - I couldn't think why I'd be told that, until a couple of days later someone mentioned that Nan is being buried next to Grandad.

Who is buried about 50 yards from Bethys garden up there. Where I have still not been since the day of the funeral.

I'm in two minds. Part of me is screaming, that I can't face it, I can't go; the other part is telling me I need to be there for Jo, and that it will probably do me good to actually get up there.

Truth be told, I am dreading it. I mean, my hands are trembling and cold (as they get when I am nervous), and I feel sick to the stomach. But I have to go.

We've also had the kids getting germy/healthy/germy over and over, with some sort of cold-like bug that vanishes after 24 hours then comes back a day later. So they've been buckets of fun.

Also, my Grandad has been in hospital for a few weeks. He's diabetic, didn't want his meds, and last week they removed one of his legs as he developed gangarene. He's still touch and go, and it looks like he could be developing Alzheimers.

Sally has been poorly. Week before last she developed an odd lump in her mouth that went down after a few days, but then several days later it reappeared and ballooned. She had that removed yesterday at the vets and is still a bit groggy, but they've sent it off as they aren't sure what it is. Joy. She's got a saggy Boxer-Mouth anyway, dribbles a lot, but now she's really drooling. This lump hung out one side of her mouth and was about the size of a golfball.

Seriously, it's just been one thing on top of the next. My keyboard actually has dust on it.

And now my day moves on - Jaysen is off to school and I need to start clearing up. Keep everything crossed for us today.