Love Thy Neighbour

The street we live on in Basildon - Long Riding - is an interesting one. For one, it used to have a really bad name - violence and crime mostly. Then the council closed (and bulldozed) the main source of the problems, are lovely pub where someone was killed, and as such Long Riding became a somewhat less-notorious place. Sure, some Friday nights after the pubs kick out you get Screaming Drunk People hurling abuse, but generally it could be worse.

To add to this, the council often move Problem Families into the area in blocks, so a row of five or six homes might have a dodgy family in each. By "Problem", I mean have been kicked out of their previous home for AntiSocial Behaviour orders, eviction for non-payment, or just the sort that move into a house, trash it, and demand a bigger/better home - which then gets trashed.

The houses are, like ours, mostly three-story town houses. OUR side of the road is different to the other side of the road in design, but otherwise pretty similar. Some houses are owned by the council and rented out. Some houses are owned by housing associations and rented out. Others are privately owned.

For the most part, the homes (to my eyes, anyway) mostly match or at least, co-ordinate in colour with one another. They are all various shades of pastel colours. Ours is a sort of pale yellow, next door is a slightly darker colour, while the other side is slightly lighter.

However, one of our neighbours - that is, the chap directly opposite - decided to spend last weekend redecorating the outside of their house.

I bet you can't tell which neighbour decided they wanted a slightly darker colour than the rest of the street. I bet you can't tell which house is the first thing I see every bloody morning when I open my curtains. I will give you some hints. The colour is usually associated with rage, anger, death, murder, blood, pain, emergencies, heat, war, and general badness.

Yes folks, gone are the days when you look at your surrounding area, the place you live, look at those either side and across the street and think "I will paint my house something that matches". No no no, this is the 21st Century, the beginning of the end. Screw Thy Neighbour (and not in the good way), no consideration, no forward thinking, no wondering what the people opposite will see every single time they look out their window! Heck No! We're going to paint our house the colour of rage with the blackest of black outlines and LIKE IT.

No longer do we have to tell people coming here for the first time "We're just up on the right, look for the little tree in the front garden. Now it's "Just stop outside the blood red house - we're opposite there". Every person that has been to our house since they redecorated has commented on it.

But what do we do? Do we complain to the council (even though it's a privately owned house) and get them to make the occupant redecorate? Do we sneak over there in the night with some pure brilliant white and redo it ourselves? Do we just keep our curtains closed?

And the part that REALLY irks me. Of all things, it's the fact they missed the railings and flower box on the middle floor - they're still blue!

If - somehow - you're reading this and you can see your house, feel free to come on over and discuss it with me. Not that you are reading this - I have my ways of knowing. But for the love of all things building-shaped, blood-red is not a good shade for ANY home. Especially as you're either inside it or elsewhere in the area - you don't even SEE it!

Edit: And, yes folks, he's even painted his driveway and path deep black. Just like none of the neighbours!

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6 Responses to “Love Thy Neighbour”

debbie said...

Ok Dan, I suggest you paint your house in exactly the same colour and see if he likes it!!

or go over and tell him he has missed a bit:)

DriedPapercutsAndChickens said...

If you lived in these parts, you would simply complain to the Home Owners association.
Although I hate them, that is still what you would do....
I like debbies Idea

Nancy Jensen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nancy Jensen said...

I think you should get a butt-ugly orange color to paint your house... or even a puke-green. Maybe the neighbor would reconsider his color choice?

Dan said...

As tempting as a redecoration of MY house would be, for one I couldn't do that to the people around me, and two, Ew.

And in answer to the deleted post (I have my ways!) none of those houses are mine - they are the house across the road from me.

Laney said...

Oooooh, I know where you live now! I'm not a nutter, honest. I go down that street on the bus to work, I shall look for the blood red house of anger.