This One's For The Ladies

OK, I've lived with various members of the opposite sex pretty much all my life. I know what happens to you every four weeks, I know enough to ply you with chocolate, ice cream, alcohol, pain killers and "womens items" which I have no issue buying. Even if the poxy makers decide to change their packaging to a new fangled "Colour Code" system which sucks for us colourblind sorts.

But I digress.

Knowing what happens to you each month, I know you're sore, hurting, tender and suchlike, even if the ads make out you use their stuff you can go rollerskating instead of huddle on the sofa with a hot water bottle. I know it hurts, but I have come across some fairly compelling evidence that suggests you girlies might be milking us blokies for all our worth, and maybe - just maybe - your poor tummy and lower items are not quite as painful as you might suggest.

I give you my proof.

THAT, ladies, is a very very large dog. Heavy, mores the point. On Jo's lap. No, Sally is not the smartest organism on the block. Anyway, that is a very large, heavy dog, sitting on Jo's lap and belly at THAT time of the month. Jo, you will notice, is smiling.

Gentlemen, the ladies have been playing us!

I vote we start the riots now, starting with the chocolate factories.

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5 Responses to “This One's For The Ladies”

debbie said...

oh ok dan whilst all things below feel like the world has blown up, there is just something great about having the dog on your lap and i have a much bigger dog than you.. a nice german shepherd, and whilst paws are everywhere they are sitting on your lap, lap being legs and not stomach..

i rest my case,, and it makes you laugh too, carry on jo!!

joansy said...

Dan, I think you need to think of the dog as a great big, huge heating pad. So it's actually like medicine. I fear for your safety if you choose to disbelief the power of a woman during that time. And 10 or so years from now you will likely have two to contend with, so you best go back to your old, very good practices.

Anonymous said...

Can I suggest Dan that next time its that time of the month, Jo gets hold of a large vice and squeezes your lower regions in it !! You will then appreciate what its like :P

debbie said...

OH Emma that sound way to painfull even making my eyes water :(

Anonymous said...

I like your idea Em.. But this post is nothing compared to his attitude of child birth...

Whenever a girl mentions how much pain she was in when giving birth (whether we speak of the contractions or the after effects of a C-secton) he just shrugs and says, "Meh, you women are wusses, two paracetamol and I'd be fine, wouldn't hear me complaining!"

Hehehe, funnily enough he always finds a reason to get up and move away from me at this point.