Never Trust The Wench

"Let's watch a movie tonight -" she said to me, all fluttery-eye-lashed-and-doe-eyed "-have a break from Warcraft and chill out." Now, as a rule, I don't like to watch movies that come out of nowhere. Occasionally I am surprised, but generally I think "Now I know why it came from nowhere"

So we sit.
We get comfortable.
I crack out the Ben & Jerries.
Just as the film started, I clocked the "Sundance Festival Award Winner" and think "Uh-oh"
Ten minutes in I'm thinking "Aaaaanytime now..." for the plot (OK, 10 minutes isn't enough, but I'd signed it off already.
Twenty five minutes in, Jo says "I bet -such-and-such-key-plot-element-" and 1hr 20mins later, she was proven correct.

Marked as a horror movie - pfffft. I've seen scarier toilet seats.

So, all in all, I'd have rather been in Azeroth killing monsters instead of watching a "movie" and killing brain cells. It wasn't horror, it was horrible. It had morals and stuff. I don't want morals, I want slasher-zombies-with-chainsaw-mounted-flame-throwers. And maybe demon nazis. With big gazungas.

"Army Zombies With Weapons Against the Big-Boobs Demon Nazis". I should write a screenplay.

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One Response to “Never Trust The Wench”

Gretchen said...

Start writing... I'm sure someone out there is looking for a good movie.