Head: Offline

Well, I woke up this morning (cue blues music) and felt crap. A few weeks ago, our family doctor who was struck off on a long-term basis decided to retire. He gave us three weeks notice. Of course, for almost two of those weeks, we were in Holland.

Last week, I started running low on my meds, and in order to make them last while we find a new GP, I've been skipping doses.

Yes, I now realise how bad that sounds.

Yesterday I was twitching and zapping and felt crap. This morning - after a diabolical night - I woke up and didn't know what the hell I was doing, what was going on or anything. I had completely lost the plot and felt like shit. Paroxitine (Paxil) withdrawl is not fun. I was babbling, I was dizzy, stumbling, couldn't form a sentence properly... And then I burst into tears. I just didn't know what anything was and was completely spazzing out.

Jo zoomed out the front door to our nearest GP, said "we need you to be our doc" and they agreed to see me tomorrow. I have two pills left (one of which I've already taken) so they should be able to help. Talk about a nightmare. The zaps are nearly constant, but fading in their intensity, but I am an emotional wreck.

Cold Turkey is bad, mmkay.

Still, at least now we probably have a new GP who is highly rated, and I have realised that I am not quite ready to cease my addiction ;)