Teasing The Buggers

We all get spam. And if you say you don't, you will. Trust me. But while most of my spam is the daily "Big Pen1s!" style drug adverts, I occasionally get the lottery wins, where I've either forgotten I entered it, or been selected at random by a multinational company.

And today, I am booored. Tired, hurting like a bitch, and bored.

A bored Dan should be classed as it's own breed, maybe even it's own life form. I have my own ecosystem and everything. But I digress.

Poking around through my trash folder this afternoon making sure no legitimate mail was being filtered by Mr Googlepants when I found this:

From: MARKET AWARD AGENCY
Address: resorts@mailsys01.intnet.net

Dear Internet User,

This Email is to inform you that you emerged a Category (A) winner with the sum of $2,500,000.00USD on our online draws.Your email address is identified with Batch Number: 444821545-NL/2008 and Ticket Number: PP 3812 /2008-08 in Category "A" and your claims portfolio is filed with
Ref Number:MARKT 80 ES 9414.For further Information about your Winnings,contact our Lottery claims agent with the following contact Address.

CLAIMS AGENT.
Name: Eric Ward
Tel: +31 616-941-341
Email: eric.ward2008@yahoo.de

You are advised to provide him with the following information:

First name:
Last Name:
Telephone/Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
Occupation:

Congratulations!!! And thank you for being a user of the World Wide Web.

Yours Faithfully,
Mary Van Dotcha
Lottery Coordinator.
Thank you and congratulations!!!
Go me on winning that much money. And look! She thanked me for being a user of the World Wide Web! I feel sooo special. Of course, it originated from a very random email address, and the person I had to mail is using a German @Yahoo.de address, yet the prize money is in US Dollars. Not Euros, which they use over there, and not Pounds, which we use here. But, it's international, so maybe they are just being careful. Of course, you would have thought a large Lottery company would have their own domain, thus their own email/web address. But maybe they just like the security and features of Yahoo... Yahoo Germany...

Yeah, Right.

So, to be on the safe side, I mailed back BOTH addresses, the random one and the Yahoo one. I gave them all my (fake) information in this message:
Dear Miss Van Dotcha,

Thank you for this excellent information regarding my win! I can't believe I won such a massive amount and clearly I am thrilled with this message! Please find below the information as requested:

First name: Danielson
Last Name: English
Telephone/Fax number: +44 1268 270866
Nationality: British
Age: 25
Occupation: Domestic Engineer and CEO of Chez 0ddness

If there is anything I can do to speed up this claim, please let me know. Such a large amount of money will clear many debts, ensure my kids a perfect life and... Wow... Thank you

D.English
I intentionally messaged the name on the email address so I look a bit simple. I made myself sound very very keen. In fact, the only REAL information on there is my surname and job title, which is another way of saying "I work in a house" I am betting their next message will be something along the lines of "Well done, money is waiting, will clear soon... Please give us all your bank details"

Now, obviously I'm not an idiot, and this isn't the first time I've played with these people. I don't know, I love to hassle them - I just wish I could cause them REAL shit. And get the money they've promised me ;)

More updates when they happen!

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2 Responses to “Teasing The Buggers”

g-man said...

I get those all the time too. Too bad they are not forced into paying up!! THAT would be justice.

andrea said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Margaret

http://lotterymegamillions.net