Another Day

Yesterday was, for all intents and purposes, a shit day. I make no bones about it, but it was a bad day. I think it was partly or even mostly due to it being a week.

A week of being single.

I was tired, I was fed up, I was lonely, and despite people trying to help cheer me up, I was more worried about bringing them down too. I've got stuff I could have been doing, but I just didn't want to. I didn't care if it got done or not, and yesterday was the first day I looked around and thought "Balls to it"

I didn't do anything except fold a bit more of the laundry.

This morning, however, I woke up a bit cheerier, a bit more positive, and have been on the go since 7am. I washed up, tidied up, folded, brought down laundry and was on the go till 0820 when we left.

Jaysen is hobbling on a dodgy knee at the moment - not sure what he's done, but he's suffering, so slow walk to school and I spoke to the office and told them he has to take it easy. If it carries on, I'll have to get him to the doc.

Then I went into town, looked at paint and wallpaper samples, met Gemma, wandered around the park while Amy did her best to escape, then met up with Ruth and helped with her shopping, got her home, unpacked it and I came home with my feet up, only to have to go out on school run again in half an hour.

I've chatted to Jo again today about, well, whatever - just nothing really, making conversation, and I think that is something that makes me feel lighter. I didn't talk to her yesterday and had a bad day, spoken to her today, had a good day. I think it's because I know she's OK and happy and getting on with things that helps me focus myself, where as yesterday I was playing the what-if game, the if-only game and my own personal fav, the why-me game.

So, baby steps. I'm moving forwards very slowly, and that's all I can do.

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3 Responses to “Another Day”

g-man said...

Good that you are moving in the right direction. Take your time. Be well my friend.

debbie said...

so glad today is a better day Dan, but I suppose take it one day at a time honey,, you will get through this.. but I so hate to hear your so sad and lonely but I would be the same too..

Anonymous said...

It takes time and you are doing so well so far. I just wish I could come keep you company.