It occurs to me that I haven't updated today, and perhaps the fact I haven't is a good thing.

The weather forecast today was for "storm of the century" and similar tags, and people have been worried sick. Considering we're only 8 years in, a blustry day could be "storm of the century" but whatever. The weather is the least of my worries OR interests at the moment.

Well, it seems that the country is panicked over some wind and rain. I got cold, I got wet. It's winter - deal with it. Trees down? That's what the wind does.

Get a grip people.


In the life of Me, however, things are bright still. I was up early with the kids, sorting for school run and even ready early. Tam has been good as gold for me, and even under her rain cover out the worst of the rain and wind she was fine, happy and singing along.

I sent Jo a few texts, questions, sorting other stuff out, as well as sent and received some texts from friends making sure I'm ok. Headed back to Ruths and sat talking away. I was just talking - something I really don't do even when really depressed - the person I usually spoke with would be Jo, but that was sorta difficult ;)

The conversation went from everything to more focused things - namely, item number two on my life - interior decorating. See, when we got our flat, we had to move in ASAP, so we bought a job lot of paint and slapped it up, only decorating occasionally once inside. With the house, similar story - lots of the same colour of paint and sorted through the house.

Over the years, we've decorated extra - mostly paint, some paper, but due to my special nature of being colourblind, Jo would invariably chose colours, soft furnishings and suchlike. I was given the brush and the tin, and told where to slap the colour. But now, now it's different.

So I've got Ruth and Posh Totty helping me with colour charts, what goes with what, what looks nice and so on. Planning what to do where with what, how, who can help - fun.

Of course, when I say "fun" I mean "Holy shit and all that is stressy". I have an idea of what I want, but vocalising - whole different ball game. I'm aiming for light, airy, neutral - but not clinical. I like blues and greys, but I like earthy tones too. The first port of call, as it were, is the kitchen/dining room, which runs from the front to the back of the house, no division wall. I can see a cupboard being built into one of the "nooks" in there, and book shelves in a strange former-fireplace feature in the room...

So, looking through my colour charts, I am looking at a "stony" colour - grey, brown, sort of thing - hard to describe - for the walls. The ceiling will be white. New light fittings. New nets and curtains. The floor will have wood-effect tiles, as I cannot afford laminate regardless. The, skirting boards, door frames, kitchen cupboard doors I'm looking at a sort of light chocolatey brown. I'm thinking the shelves will be this colour as well, as sort of a feature in the dining room.

Now, the general consensus is positive, but I am still not sure. I need to get it straight in my head first. I think I also need to realise that I can do pretty much what I like with it. Usually when I do anything in the house, I discuss it with Jo first, and her power of veto applies.

It's a very strange feeling, making decisions with only people telling me "That will/won't go" and not "I don't like that". Not that Jo ever did - she's also there to help me as well and has offered her help too - an offer I will be taking up no doubt.

Anyway, I've had a good day - not great, as I've been suffering with wandering-mind-syndrome - but I am dealing and coping today. I've not really done a lot today as I am in all sorts of agony, but I don't need to kill myself each day.

Jo called earlier - she was talking to the Benefits Agency this morning, and they dropped yet another dirty great lump od spanner-shaped metal into the works. Despite me and Jo working things out, despite us remaining friends in constant contact and having joint-custody of the kids, she has been instructed that she must contact the Child Support Agency (CSA) and claim for maintenance from me. She explained we've made our own arrangements and that she didn't want to get them involved (as they are notoriously evil against people).

However, if she DOESN'T claim, she will have money stopped from her benefit. WHY I have no idea, but she called me up and had no idea what to do. I told her if it comes to it, that she SHOULD claim to prevent her losing money, and then we'll just say we are doing it. To make sure, though, I made sure she called the CSA and spoke with them.

Turns out they aren't quite the Ogres that people make them out to be. Nope, the lady she spoke to was very helpful and told Jo not to panic, as the form as a special section for private arrangements, she fills that out and writes that we are having joint custody, and sharing the costs and expenses, then that'll be taken into account and all should be rosy.

BUT it does raise an interesting point. The "system" has often been criticised for being very "on the womans side", and I never really believed it - until I got caught up in it. Jo calls one number - they do it all for her. I call one number, and get told to call eight others. Jo gets told to get the CSA on me. However, I'm told nothing - surely they should have told me to claim CSA from Jo as I have the kids too?

But, none the less, I won't let the buggers get me down. Me and Jo are working through our problems to make the best of both our lives and, most importantly, make the kids have great lives. Why does it seem there is so much red-tape, and so many hurdles in the way. We're working through it all, and people keep trying to make it harder.

Hurrah for those that are there for us. And sorry this is a long-winded one.

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2 Responses to “Positive”

Anonymous said...

Look at u Mr Think Positive, well done. I am glad your pulling things together. I will make your curtains as long as I get to choose the material!! Mwah

Adullamite said...

Sadly you have been chosen to post this on your blog . . .
+ Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
+ Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
+ Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
+ Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
That’s all there’s to it . . .
Oh, and have fun.