And Push And Breathe

OK, this is a post for Gemma. Well, to help Gemma. See, she's preggers. She's well preggers and is waddling around Basildonia like a whale on two legs. She was due on Saturday, but this baby is refusing to come out.

Yes, it's a girl.

She is trying everything to start herself off - walking, bathing, spicy food, lavendar and thankfully she told me, sex. "Peter Longley Has Sex" That should be interesting if he is ever Googled. I should point out, he's the least busy person I know considering he is #4 of the "Most Repeat Visits" on my statcounter.

Do some work you lazt git.

Anyway, if you know of a way to entice a baby to wiggle out that little lardy sack, now is the time to share. Come on people, think of Pete her - he needs a couple of weeks off work!

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13 Responses to “And Push And Breathe”

debbie said...

If I was Gemma, I would hit you for being called a whale.. Poor girl.. As for baby moving ideas.. Sorry mine were 2 days late.. but I wish Gemma all the very best.. and hope it goes well for them Both..

MrB said...

Please relay my best wishes onto Gemma, I hope it all goes smoothly :)

Anonymous said...

Castor oil? Just a tablespooon..

Good luck, hope all goes well when she finally decides to make an appearence!


Posh Totty said...

Blowing up balloons is suposed to be really good, as apparently you use all the same muscles you do while giving birth.

Also pop the balloons afterwards as sometimes the shock of the "Bang" afterwards can get things moving too.

Posh Totty said...

Fresh pineapple, there is a natural enzyme in fresh pineapple that is simular to the drug used to induce labour.

So if you can stomach it, eat a WHOLE fresh pineapple (or more if you can, the more the better)

It has to be fresh tho, none of this tinned stuff.

Posh Totty said...

any prudes cover your eyes now ....

Dan asked me to post these here for Gemma ;o)

the sex is good, but the mans spirm MUST get to the cervix ....which may mean having some in your hand and inserting it yourself and then afterwards a strong orgasm will help your uterus to contract. (again you will prob have to do it yourself as we know what men are like at that ;o) hehe!!)


Nipple tweeking, twiddle and tweek your nipples as much as possible, the more you do it the better, this releases a hormone that can bring on labour.

Posh Totty said...

Wear your best and most expensive knickers .... you can pretty much garuntee the day you have your best knickers on, your waters will break.

Posh Totty said...

take Sally for a long walk .... when i was preg with my daughter, I took the dog (a big dog) for a long walk the day before my due date and my waters broke while I was out walking with him (hugely embaressing, but my daughter was born on her due date ... so huge result)

Posh Totty said...

shall I stop spamming the comments box now and give someone else the chance to reply? hehe :oP

gemgems said...

Thank you all for your comments.

Castor Oil is a no no as I had a section with my daughter and the castor oil is meant to cause very quick hard labour and its not something I can do in case is causes probs with rupturing. Thanks for thinking of me though.

gemgems said...

Right then.

Balloon blowing up and popping is in order tonight.

Pineapple - tried it last time with daughter and ate 3 whole pineapples which did nothing except burn my mouth and throat (from the acid). Tried a smaller amount this time too and nada.

Not more sex lol. Will have to see what I can do on that front hee hee.

Nipple tweaking not sure if I can be bothered with that one (or when I will get the chance).

Best knickers probbaly wont fit me at the moment but can give it a go.

I cant really imagine trying to control Sally and my daughter but hey ho it might be worth a try.

Have just finished scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees niiiice.

I am going for yet another long walk over the hills and woods later so fingers crossed baby decides to come along.

Thanks again for your ideas lets see if any of them work.

Posh Totty said...

Good luck I will keep my fingers crossed for you Xxxx

The Random One said...

When she gives you a beating, please videotape it and put it on Youtube for our enjoyment ;D