For Goodness Sake...

Last night I had precisely bugger all sleep. I got in at about half twelve, messed around on the laptop till about half one, then laid in bed just listening to some music on my headphones. What followed was a night of completely disturbed sleep, interlaced with strange dreams and nightmares, the worst being one of Jo moving away and taking the kids with her.

So I'll be calling her in a while to make sure it's just me being a tard.

At half six, I decided to just give up sleep and went back on the laptop, browsing the web, playing on Facebook, checking my mail, reading through a wad of blogs and - click - the laptop goes off. Running on mains, not hot, not pushing it too hard, it just died. I fiddled with it for ten mins, but decided it might just need to have a rest, but it looks like my laptop has died.

So I come out to the main computer, let the animals out, get rid of the headless pigeon from the patio, re-bag the rubbish that has been opened by a neighbourhood cat/fox, and get upstairs, where I resume my daily motions of chatting to people in different time zones and pissing around on Facebook. I flick to another tab to check my TagBoard, get an email from Facebook with a Warning...

Our systems indicate that you've been misusing certain features on the site. This email serves as a warning. Misuse of Facebook's features or violating Facebook's terms of use may result in your account being disabled . Thanks in advance for your understanding and cooperation.
I received that at 8.47am. So I get back to the Facebook tab and find I am logged out. Log in to find this:

The crazy Aussie Wench that I am chatting with messages me to then tell me I am no longer on Facebook. Marvellous. So I message them, and get an automated reply to check their terms and conditions:
Your account was disabled because you violated Facebook’s Terms of Use, to which you agreed when you first registered for an account on the site. Accounts can either be disabled for repeat offenses or for one, particularly egregious violation.

Facebook does not allow users to register with fake names, to impersonate any person or entity, or to falsely state or otherwise misrepresent themselves or their affiliations.

We do not allow users to send unsolicited or harassing messages to people they don’t know, and we remove posts that advertise a product, service, website, or opportunity.

Our Code of Conduct outlines the types of content we do not allow on the site. This includes any obscene, pornographic, or sexually explicit photos, as well as any photos that depict graphic violence. We also remove content, photo or written, that threatens, intimidates, harasses, or brings unwanted attention or embarrassment to an individual or group of people.
So now I am even MORE confused. I message them back and ask "huh" and get an automated reply that my message is "being dealt with". And then, marked with the same time as the warning, I get the following email drop in.
Your account has been disabled for persistent misuse of the site. Please contact for more information.
So, to recap. I am chatting on FB, and using various applications. Then I get a warning for misuse and at the same time, I get banned and mailed. They "encourage" me to read the terms and conditions, and the "ban worthy" offences are as follow:
  • harvest or collect email addresses or other contact information of other users from the Service or the Site by electronic or other means for the purposes of sending unsolicited emails or other unsolicited communications; (OK, I am certainly not harvesting anything)
  • use the Service or the Site in any unlawful manner or in any other manner that could damage, disable, overburden or impair the Site; (You mean by sending messages and poking people? oooh I accepted a friend request this morning too...)
  • use automated scripts to collect information from or otherwise interact with the Service or the Site; (hehe yes, back to me being a spammer then)
  • upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available any content that we deem to be harmful, threatening, unlawful, defamatory, infringing, abusive, inflammatory, harassing, vulgar, obscene, fraudulent, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable; (Ah this must me it - I referred to Mel as an "Aussie Wench" which is clearly bad)
  • upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available any videos other than those of a personal nature that: (i) are of you or your friends, (ii) are taken by you or your friends, or (iii) are original art or animation created by you or your friends; (Videos? Aside from the occasionaly YouTube rubbish?)
  • register for more than one User account, register for a User account on behalf of an individual other than yourself, or register for a User account on behalf of any group or entity; (Yes, because I am sad enough to have different FB names to stalk people)
  • impersonate any person or entity, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent yourself, your age or your affiliation with any person or entity; (hehe I think my profile was pretty much accurate...)
  • upload, post, transmit, share or otherwise make available any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, solicitations, promotional materials, "junk mail," "spam," "chain letters," "pyramid schemes," or any other form of solicitation; (AGAIN with the Me Being A Spammer??)
  • upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make publicly available on the Site any private information of any third party, including, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, Social Security numbers and credit card numbers; (Yes, because I decided a bit of Identity Theft was in order for a Sunday morning)
  • solicit personal information from anyone under 18 or solicit passwords or personally identifying information for commercial or unlawful purposes; (I know one person under 18 on Facebook. And she never logs in very often anyway! Not to mention, her mum is on there too!)
  • upload, post, transmit, share or otherwise make available any material that contains software viruses or any other computer code, files or programs designed to interrupt, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment; (Uh huh, right... "Here Mel, have a virus")
  • intimidate or harass another; (Aussie Wench it is then!)
  • upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available content that would constitute, encourage or provide instructions for a criminal offense, violate the rights of any party, or that would otherwise create liability or violate any local, state, national or international law; (Erm... criminal offence? On Facebook? An unsolicited poke, maybe?)
  • use or attempt to use another's account, service or system without authorization from the Company, or create a false identity on the Service or the Site. (False Identity and logging in as someone else... Check :S)
  • upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available content that, in the sole judgment of Company, is objectionable or which restricts or inhibits any other person from using or enjoying the Site, or which may expose Company or its users to any harm or liability of any type. (Well I don't have much in the way of porn on there....)
So, there you have it, for the moment, I am Facebookless, Laptopless, tired, cranky, have cold hands, need caffeine, and generally see myself being Cranky DanPants within the next few nanoseconds..

Yep, there it is...

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7 Responses to “For Goodness Sake...”

Anonymous said...

Oh no!

That's outrageous that they can't just give you a straight answer.

Perhaps it was "overuse of SuperPoke application"?

Hope it gets sorted soon. We had Scramble games to complete!

Anonymous said...

dan i had the same message last week, but didnt get banned, i sent them a message and they said they were aware of problem and not to worry about it,,,

Hi Cassie,

We are aware of the problem that you described and hope to resolve it as soon as possible. This warning is an error and you can ignore it without consequence. Sorry for any inconvenience. Let me know if you have any further questions.

Thanks for contacting Facebook,

User Operations Analyst

-----Original Message to Facebook-----
From: Cassie Holliday (
Subject: PROFILES:

Description of problem: today i clicked onto a profile of someone who friends requested me, and when i went to her profile to look at who she was, i clicked onto the
" pending friends request " and a box came up and said that i am doing to much on facebook and that if i continued i may be banned completely,, i do not understand what i have done, i dont really send funwall or superpokes, just private messages between friends and writting on photos or tag them?
have i done something wrong?
hope this helps,,

Anonymous said...

That is crazy! I can't believe they won't give you a straight answer as to why you were banned.

Hope everything works out!

Thanks for reading my blog!

-Confessions of a Corporate Slut

Krista Long said...

I am sorry things suck right now :( You should stop hanging out with me- I am a bad influence ;)

Wishing a speedy recovery of your laptop and I already told Posh Totty on Twitter what I think of Facebook.

Little Nut Tree said...

?!?! This is so weird... maybe it is an error then? Hope you're back on soon!

Anonymous said...

Imagine that...

They obviously don't realise that none of us have a life without Dan on Facebook! I might even have to go and DO something...

Mel the Aussie Wench

The Random One said...

I don't log in very much??? Pssht!

*cries and whimpers in corner* soliciting information from me!