Aversion to Talking

When you consider how much of my life I share, people are often surprised when they find out something else about me. I've mentioned before that despite how much I talk about, there is a lot I don't talk about. I censor myself, and often have a hard time sharing alot of things.

In the world, I can count on one hand the number of people that know a lot about me. The background stuff that doesn't get shared to the world. And yet, here I sit with things on my head that - while not bad by any stretch of the imagination - I've not spoken to anyone about. I'm not dwelling, stewing or fretting, nor am I worried, scared or anything else negative.

I just have this very strange aversion to opening up, sharing, telling people what is what. It's not even a by-product of me and Jo going our seperate ways, it's something that I've always done, and now I am blogging about it, I know of... three people that will shout at me for not sharing.

Lucky for me they are all girls, and thus hit like themselves.

I'm not even sure why I am blogging about this. A vague blogpost talking about me... Not talking about stuff.

Suffice to say, my head is jumbled all over the place - not in a bad way before anyone starts on the "oooh what's wrong" and I can see exactly what is happening, but I've not told anyone, and I don't get why. A psychologist would prolly say something like, Trust Issues, Fear of Hurting Others, Fear of Rejection... So apologies for the random, rambling blogpost. Hopefully in the next day or two I will have spoken to my inner circle (or a shrink!) and will have my head a little less weird.

Newer Post Older Post

3 Responses to “Aversion to Talking”

debbie said...

your not alone in NOT opening up or talking, my other half has loads of issues from years back and now that he just wont talk about, refuses too.. but then he is a grumpy arse most of the time

Posh Totty said...

I so get ya .... now get on the phone you muppet.

Dan said...

Deb: I'm not sure I have "issues" per se, just nuances and, as someone pointed out the other day, like Shrek, I'm an Ogre. No, wait, an Onion. I'm an onion, with layers ;)

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No.
Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

Sod having to be the person to peel back through them ;)