You know what they say.  They all say it.  They.

Well, actually it was Robert Burns, and also worth mentioning, people quote it wrong. However, they still say it, in some form or another:

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley."

Or, in other words, no matter how well you plan something, it'll go pear-shaped.  Of course, he was a Scot - writing it that way would have been too easy ;)

Still, the point...

Last week, 0dd-sister gives me a call and arranges for me and Kellie to meet up with her and Pete, and head out to the movies and watch The Final Destination 3D.  Very thrilling.  The plan was simple.  We get the bus to town, meet Gemma who picks us up from the station, she drives to the movies, we eat popcorn and drink whatever, watching a movie in 3D in an effort to scare the pants off us The Girls.

The day started rather well - while waiting at the bus stop, a friend is picking her mum up in the car, and gives us a lift from Canvey to Basildon.  Bonus - saved our bus fair.  So, we let Gemma know to get us from my place, not the station.  We eat sausage roll and drink coffee.

Still so far so good.

The Gemma Mobile arrives, and the four of us get to the movies in one piece.  Double bonus.  Gemma has grabbed the tickets on her card, so I give her the money for me and Kellie.  £16 for the pair of us.  The Sis is nice and lets us off the £1.60 card booking fee.  Bless.  Kellie then spends an obscene amount of money on a bucket of popcorn and two bottles of water.  The Sis and Brother in Law spend an even dafter amount on sweets, popcorn and a drink.

Loaded down, we head into the theatre, grab our very fetching 3D specs - which I promptly put on - and we sit and wait, munching on our popcorn.  And munch we did - and munch away merrily, with Gemma adding more of her popcorn into my bucket for added Fat Bastardness.

After a rather long period of munching - and, honestly, getting nowhere fast - a member of staff toddles in, and tells us there is an issue with the encryption key of the film, and we have to wait.  Me, I'm happy with my seemingly bottomless popcorn and bottle of water, still watching the world through 3D specs.  No, not the coloured sort.  But I'm also wearing my normal glasses too, so looked exceedingly manly.

Me and Pete joke about the staff trying to finish off the download of the movie from a torrent site, and I continue to eat.  Another fifteen minutes pass, and Mr Staff Type comes in, and tells us there's a problem with the key, the film won't play - but you can watch something else if you like.

Considering the place was heaving with kids, and Gemma was on a timer with Dear Old Mum with her babysitter hat, we opted for the refund route.  After chewing the poor bloke out, we queued up and waiting for Gemma to be processed for her refund.  Then they tried to refuse the credit card fee refund - not that it was a lot, just the principle of it.  Apparently we had to fill in a form for that.  So we waited and waited and - did I mention I was still munching on popcorn.

Eventually, Gemma gets her refund completed, gives me back my money, and then we decide to point out we'd never have paid for their Overpriced Popcorn had we not come out - and somehow, through either sheer determination, or the manager having enough and just agreeing regardless - we got our food and drink refunded too.  Took them a while to figure Gemma & Petes stuff mind you, and they even ended up with £1.50 or so extra refunded.

He really couldn't be bothered.

And to top it all off, while sitting at Gemmas - where I finally allowed the last inch of popcorn to survive - Kellie managed to convince her mum to drive us back to Canvey.

But there's more!

Sitting at The Sisters abode, we all sent the cinema a snotty email.  Rather, Pete sent a carefully worded jobbie, Kellie sent a polite mail with words like "disappointed" such like... Me, I sent a four paragraph rant, summing them up as "completely rubbish"

Guess which of us got four free tickets in way of compensation!

Paid Out
Bus fare: £7.40 (avoided)
Ticket price: £16 (refunded)
Booking fee: £1.60 (refunded)
Popcorn & Water: £10 (refunded)

Four Free Tickets £32

So, to be honest, it was a very profitable day, and I didn't need feeding for a good couple of hours!  However, I'm not sure I'll go for the popcorn again...

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7 Responses to “Free!”

Stuart Wilson said...


Posh Totty said...

and you wonder why people call you a cheap date

The HoJo's said...

bargain! like it


Gemma said...

Liar liar pants on fire, what were you eating last night - POPCORN!

GreenCastle said...

LOL... you know no matter how many times I hear/ read that story... I like it... the only thing is Dan... where is my bloody popcorn? lol

See you soon hopefully.

Nancy Jensen said...

I'm quite amazed that you were able to get the refund for the goodies you bought... afterall, you did eat them! Did they ask you to throw it up or use the restroom before you left so they could feel that you didn't walk out of there with free food? LOL!

PLZ forgive my nasty comment. I'm very irritable and Miss Jess is giving me a heckuvatime tonight. *sigh*

Laney said...

That is too funny! Have you managed to see the film yet?