The Morning After

As previously mentioned, Kellies birthday was spent, just the two of us, movie and dinner.  We went to an excellent Indian restaurant on Canvey Island called Saffron.  It was fairly quiet in there, being that it was A) quite late in the evening, and B) mid-week.

The waiter looking after us was excellent, answering questions about dishes we weren't sure of, letting us know if we wanted anything changing - more or less spice - then he'd let the chef know...  He was spot on, but never pushy at any point.

The food was absolutely perfect.  We both tried new dishes, and they were so so good.  I'm sitting here hankering for a curry now.  We sat, gazing lovingly at one another after eating, finishing our drink before paying, when the manager - on his way out - thanked us for coming, thanked us for our custom - and gave us a free drink!

Perfect service, perfect food...

And that was what Kellie did on Tuesday.

Wednesday, however, was a different matter altogether for her.  She and "the girls" were going to the casino for a Lady Lunch type thing.  I knew there was a limo, and I knew there would be champagne and much drinking.  Kellie, I think, was under the impression she and her friends were getting a cab to the casino, having a play on the tables, having lunch and some drinks, then coming home later in the day or early evening.

I told Kerry to send her back as and when, don't worry about the time.

She left home at about 10am Wednesday morning, heading for Kerrys so they could get ready together, do their hair and makeup and such...  By eleven, a bottle of champagne had been cracked open.  Half eleven, the limo arrived, at which point she phones me, all excited, telling me what was happening - and that there was a couple of bottles of champagne in there for the girls.

During the course of the afternoon, I get a few more texts, and notice the level of typos increasing.  I suspect if there was a graph showing alcohol consumption correlated with spelling errors, you'd get a perfect curve.

Late afternoon, I get a shouty-drunk "I love you!" phone call, and something about the pub.  Eight that evening, I get a random picture of a very drunk Kellie and a very drunk Kerry with stickers on their heads.  Half nine, I get another "I LOVE YOU!" call, followed by others present taking her phone and telling me they love me too.  Bless 'em.

Just after midnight, my phone tells me there is a drunk girl in a cab heading back, so I get to the door to wait for her.  Cab pulls in, Kellie gets out the cab VERY carefully, and proceeds to walk from the Cab to the Front Door.  Probably, a hundred feet, give or take.  Assuming, of course, you walking in a straight line.  Kellie, however, wasn't sure what a straight line was at this particular moment.  I think "Zig Zag" was the best her brain could muster, and she probably covered 150feet before getting to the front door.

"Itsh not me *hic* itsh me shhhhoes..."

Yes baby, have a good time?

Fast Forward to Thursday morning, 0930ish.  I wake up and roll over to find a pickled corpse beside me.  It* was breathing, but it wasn't air or carbon dioxide coming out.  "Ethanol" would be a closer assumption.  That fact it was breathing was a bonus.  I considered poking it, but thought better of it. 

There was no bowl in the room.

About half an hour later, it peels it's face from the pillow, and somehow opens it's eyes, only to slap them shut again with the advent of Light into the iris.  It mumbles something, but I don't quite follow, so it repeats it's question.  I catch the word "water" so pass her a drink.

And that is how it stayed till about... oh, bedtime.

She was a poorly girl all day, so I decided the best bet was to take the kids out.  Far far away, in fact, just in case...  She was not, at any point, involuntarily sick, but DID make herself yack up, just to clear the pipes out a bit.  Much water was ingested, many pain killers were eaten, and by Friday, aside from looking like she's been poked in the eyes with a stick, she was back to her wonderful radiant self.

I shall, however, leave with you dear reader, with the fateful words uttered before she went out that day...

"I won't be drinking too much... I don't want to get hammered and forget my birthday!"

*I refer to Kellie as "It" as it was neither male not female, let alone human

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2 Responses to “The Morning After”

Posh Totty said...

hehe you go Kellie, sounds like my kind of birthday ;o) hangovers like that are soooo worth it.

GreenCastle said...

How are you still breathing? lol... no wonder you said you was in trouble rofl...

Way to party Kel, you show those youngsters heehee