Chaos (Day 1 & 2)

I don't do Chaos very well.  Organised Chaos I can handle - I live with odds and sods all around me, but I know where everything is, where it belongs, where it should be and so on...

Several weeks ago - and I actually forgot to blog this - I had a man come to my house to check my electrics.  He was here for hours, testing the circuits, prodding sockets, licking batteries...  OK, maybe not the latter, but none the less, he was a busy boy.

Eventually he gave one of those "Well Guv'" type-sighs, and told me in no-nonsense English, that my electrics were shot.  Dangerous, even.  There's no earthing to speak of, there are faulty sockets, damaged lights, there should be mains-powered smoke alarms.  Great.

He tells me that I should get a re-wire, new circuit, new breaker unit, sockets replaced...  Etc etc.  But, first off, he was going to get someone in to get my Earthing sorted out first.  A week or so later, another man comes along, rummages around my plumbing, and gives me that same "Well Guv'" conversation as to how my bathroom and kitchen plumbing is shot too.  Leaky, rusty, old, shit...  So before he does the re-earthing, he wants to get a carpenter in to take out my kitchen cupboard, so he can get to the pipes to replace them, so the electrician can get the wire sorted.

So, ANOTHER man turns up, only this time, he's in a suit.  Uh Oh.  He sits in my kitchen, drinking a cuppa, and tells me that by the time they've torn things out and put them right, I might as well have had a new kitchen and bathroom.

So here, have a new kitchen and bathroom.

Ooookay then. 

I get a call a while later telling me that on Monday June 7th, there would be lots of men in and out my house destroying it.

So yesterday, I set to getting all the kitchen cupboards and draws emptied, binning all the old shit that has accumulated, and relocated it to to where ever there was space.  That is, around the rest of the house.  My dining room currently has most of the stuff from inside all the cupboards - plus the fridge freezer, washing machine and microwave.  The stuff from the bathroom and toilet are now in my living room.

As I write this, there are two men down in my kitchen with hammers and chisels, tearing out my kitchen units, ripping the tiles and electrics out...  It's noisy - holy crap is it noisy - and there is crap everywhere. 

To make things even MORE amusing for your erstwhile author, the electrician has turned up as well, and tells me "we've been trying to get in here for months mate"  I point out, er, hellooooo, your electrician from your company are the ones that started all this, and the kitchen/bathroom was to be sorted first...  He smiles and says, well, we'll see if we can't get you rewired.

AT THE SAME TIME.

So, currently, I have two men tearing things out, and an electrician measuring the kitchen for new sockets and light fitting.  Later, a plumber may arrive, as well as a decorator.

And so far, no one has been in the bathroom.

Pray for me ;)

Kitchen, 07/07/2010 @ 0725