2011 Wrap Up

You may be wondering why there is a pair of underwear beside this post. That's a good question. I wanted something original to sum up the year as best I could, but every time I cast my mind back over the year, despite it being - all things considered - a good year, all I can think about is how MUCH pain I've been in, and how LITTLE I've slept.

Therefore, the image for the summing up of 2011 describes it perfectly.

Pants. For sleeping and pain, 2011 was pants. Big saggy ones.  Month-by-month, it wasn't a bad year, but I was hoping to end on a high-note with new meds to make me feel a little more human, a little more alive, and little more with it.

Never mind

2011 summed up month-by-month is not something I've done before. I may have summed up the year with and "End of Year" style posting before, but not for a long time. I also refuse to link to the posts of which I am referring to - while I do it in some posts when the information in a previous post is neccesary, to make you click back through a YEAR of posts is just plain silly, and smacks of someone trying to increase hits on different posts.

If you're THAT interested, I am fairly sure you can use the Archive function.

As mentioned before, the years themes for me have been pain and insomnia. Looking back over my posts, I can see clearly that the last 6-8 months have seen my pain levels increase. I feel crap, and obviously, I am worse than I was. I'll be asking for a referral to the Pain Management Clinic later on methinks. The insomnia may or may not be linked to the pain, so I'm not too worried about that at the moment.

Kellies "Themes for the Year" are twofold. Firstly, we're still not sure what's wrong with her. Her triglycerides have spiked upwards again - normal is 2-4, high is 4-6, hers originally spiked to 20.8, but after medication, started coming back down to 6s and 7s, but have spiked up again, so that's still broken and making her chest all fluttery still.

Kellies other theme has been saying things that entertain me and, by association, the rest of the world. The number of "The Things She Says" posts have increased this year too.

January
The anniversary of Kellie being moved in for a month, the main theme for January was "Shit, where do we put all this stuff?!". This is also the month that Kellie spent recovering from Swine Flu, the month the Gimmie Gizmo pulled the rug out from under the feet of their staff and things went downhill from there. In addition to this, Molly started at her new school (which she still resides and still loves every minute of it!), and I did something silly/bad to my ribs chasing children on a climbing frame.  "Cracked" was the word the doctor used to describe them...  It's also the month that my beloved laptop died, and was resurrected, and the first proper month with our fantabulous new phones!

February
Aside from a few odds and sods type posts, most of February was taken up with the birth of my nephew, Toby, who was born poorly but has come on in leaps and bounds. Despite not being particularly chunky, I refer to him as Tubby Toby. Poor little man.

March 
Nothing too interesting happened in March. Kellie bought me the WoW Expansion, Cataclysm, so my Warcraft genes were soothed. We partied a bit with friends in Chicago Rock Cafe, I discovered what the constant music in my head is called, I ingested and burped kippers, Kellies medical stuff almost turned nasty, and I ranted about the music industry and bed bolts.

April
Boring month, aside from Kellies birthday... I switched to the new style of Blogger (which I loved and still love) and we discovered that, officially, the 0dd Mother In Law is a crazy freak for ironing her pillowcases...

May
Officially, May was a shit month - probably the shittiest for me. After fighting hard and long, my friend and companion Sally-Dog was deemed too ill and had to be put to sleep. The vets that had been dealing with her clearly fucked something up. Otherwise, I was ill at one stage in May, was confused with a woman on the telephone several times, and pushed the idea of Digital Darwinism in order to get idiots off the internet. Probably the BIGGEST news of May was that the world didn't end in Fire and Brimstone. Well done Harold Camping for A) Messing up your dates, and B) Getting a metric Shit Ton of cash off idiots.

June
Another birth this month, with Kerry popping out hers and James' son Albert! Hurrah! Also the month that Tamsyn broke her arm and Molly performed the feat of shocking the medical community by contracting Shingles. I also had one of my record-breaking shitty days filled with idiots, I ranted about Gamers becoming murderers, and decided to start a diet.

July
APPARENTLY I blogged nothing in July. NOTHING!

August
Another crappy one. Firstly, Our pussy cat Arwen was hit by a car and killed. Being that she wasn't born with common sense, and was more used to quiet backroads where cars stopped for her, she had zero road-sense, and, well, that was that. It's also the month that my former Domain Name Host decided I was the enemy and threatened to shut me down unless I censored myself thanks to Gimme Gizmo staff being threatened by my words and not liking the fact personal opinions were scaring customers away. In other news, Gimli & Galadriel joined the household - two idiot kittens that still trash the place, Kellies temporary job became permanent, and we all went out for a night of Bingo that resulted in us winning nothing but a shitty DVD player, and everyone being covered in green ink.

September
My birthday was marked this year with a post about my late grandfather, but also the month Jaysen blinded me with a thorny seed pod to my eye. You may remember the eye patch, eye dye, and gory posts about having shit scraped from my eyeball. It's also the month Kellie royally fucked the skin on her hands by playing with epoxy resin, I started on a long winding journey towards getting some form of employment, that lumps of satellite were due to fall on our heads, and we ended the month, sitting in a field in pissing rain, watching Avatar...

October
The most interesting post of October has to be Kellie confusing Kangaroo with Moose in Canada, but also the month I called it quits on the paper round (and explained how you need to APPREICATE your paper delivery expert), and the month I was confused for a murdering rapist by a complete stranger. It's also the month I snapped and posted a long winded whine-fest of a post detailing all the little shitty things that annoyed me at the time and, most importantly, we discovered James' "Movie Choice Gene" is not only flawed, but completely missing after we listened to him and watch a movie he suggested.  His body has yet to be found. Oh, and once again, the world failed to end, after Harold Camping fucked up again.

November
The pain running around my body pushed me hard in November, and I tried to write a post detailing how it felt and made me feel, but I still don't know if I got my point across successfully. For the second time in my life, I was referred to as being a Misogynist for some reason - again by someone without the first clue as to who I am - so that pissed me off. I had a rant about people expecting privacy despite plastering their personal information all over the web, not to mention it being the month that I, a 35 year old man, fell off my bike and injured myself. Oh, and I proved I was psychic. Lastly, this was the month I sent four Northerners to their deaths on account of If I Don't Someone Else Will for being so completely thick and believing everything they see on the TV.

December
Aside from the Xmas stuff that goes on, December was the month Kellie decided we were painting the living room (and me), the month I decided my ISP is horrendously SHIT, I contracted proper ManFlu - which is still lingering, it has to be said - and I discovered that if I get an office job, I need to stay AWAY from the laminating machine, as clearly the Race of Lamina has declared war on yours truly.


So there you have it. All in all, nothing AMAZING to report, some shit stuff, some funny stuff, some strange stuff, a mix of crazy people and strange places, weird happenings and, well, random stuff striking from the heavens to be honest. There was no lottery win, but then I didn't managed to accidentally kill myself either, so that must be a win too.

My predictions for the year? The Mayans reckon the world ends on 21st December, so Christmas will be easy this year. I reckon I will make it to 36 if I behave, that Kellie will call me nasty names for posting her mutterings on here, and that the kids will be homeless unless they buck up their ideas. Everything else is a mystery to my fore-sight...