Creatures From Hell

If there is one thing that you should know about me - and don't already - it's that I don't do snakes. Not "Oh they're a bit gross" but flat out "I hate them and wouldn't be upset should they all suddenly up and die from this genetic disease I've created to get them all" hate them.

Case in point - to find the picture for this post took about four seconds. In that four seconds, my palms started to sweat, and I've had to put my feet up on the sofa in case one appears in the lounge. You know, like saying "Voldemort" draws attention to you...

Hmm, Voldemort, Slitherin, Snakes... Pattern?

But I digress.

If there are two things that snakes should never ever EVER have, it's tentacles and psychic powers. However, considering we don't live in the Marvel or DC universe, we are safe in the knowledge that oh-my-crapping-god-what-is-THAT!

OK, so as it happens, The Tentacled Snake (Erpeton tentaculatum, apparently) does in fact exist, and is an aquatic snake. So, no more swimming for me then. But thankfully, just because there are snakes with fricking tentacles doesn't mean there are psychic snakes.


*BZZZZ* Wrong. See, Mr I've-Got-Things-Sticking-Out-My-Face-Up-There is a rather nifty little hunter. He has evolved to understand how fish (FISH!) react to danger. When fish sense movement that their ickle fish brains tell them is "Something's Gonna Eat Ya!" the brain takes over and makes the fish dart away, all involuntary-like. This bastard of a snake has learned that by wiggling the middle of it's body, it knows the fish will autopilot out of dodge at the speed of fish-light.

And the psychic part? The snake KNOWS where the fish is going to go. The fish itself moves too fast for the snake to catch it, but the snake uses its apparent psychic abilities to put it's evil fanged maw where the fish will BE.

As far as the naked eye goes, it's a snakey eating a fishy, but once slowed right down, you can see the snake wiggle it's bits and Roberts Your Mothers Brother, the fish is lunch. And if you don't believe me...

OK, possibly it's not truly psychic but has evolved to know which direction the fish is going to high-tail it to, but it might as well be, to know where to put its head in order to have lunch. No following it's prey, no tracking it slowly slowly...

So, I can now add The Seas to the list of places not to go to avoid encountering snakes. Antarctica is looking better and better!

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