On Scary Movies

While it is safe to say that I enjoy me some movies, this is not true of movies that are flagged with the "Horror" title.

I enjoy most types of film, be it comedy, drama, psychological, even to some extent, a handful of musicals, but horror movies have never really done it for me.

Now I am sure there are some of you that are poo-pooing my words, along with something like "You don't watch them because you're scared" or similar, but I can honestly, hand on heart, state that the only scary film to ever EVER bother me as a grown up, was The Blair Witch Project. The original ones, thank you... The sequels were only scary in the fact that people paid to see them.

Allow me, however, to digress and explain on that point. The film - then - was a new kind of film making, low budget, and most of the scary stuff was thanks to the viewers own brain filling in the blanks. The film gave me, at most, a case of the heebeejeebees... It was made worse by about eight million percent by the fact that, the very next night, I was in the dark up in a forest.

Granted, I was out live-roleplaying (back in the day), but none the less, that was probably the longest, biggest wig-out-fest of my entire life.

Back to the point.

A few weeks back, we were talking about watching a scary film with James & Kerry. Personally, I can take or leave them, but I was the one that was having to get said-scary film. So, I grabbed a few and we proceeded to go to Canvey. One of the films on the pile was something called Sinister.

Both James and Kerry made a great point of saying how scary it was, how it bothered even James, and Kerry watched most of it from behind a pillow.

It was "proper scary" by all accounts.

To the point that they both vetoed it.

Last night, Kellie decided that she wanted a sleepless night to watch Sinister. So, I dutifully put it on, and she snuggled up against me... Within about three seconds of it starting, she grabbed a pillow to hide behind because *cough* it sounded scary.

And so we watched.

Kellie spent the first half of the film jumping at every shocking sound and visual that appeared on the screen. I, however, hated one bit of it - the fact he found a snake under a box. Which, appeared on screen with a sharp shock of music. BLAM! It's a SNAKE!

The second half of the film... Er...

And here is my actual point. This "really scary film" was so interesting, that it terrified me into a deep slumber.

I fell asleep less than halfway through. Even the "BLAM! Something SCARY is on the screen!" music didn't disturb me.

Upon realising I was asleep, Kellie kicked me awake, and decided she had had enough terror for one night, and so the film went off. And we went to bed.

So scared and terrified was I, that at about three this morning, I needed a wee. And didn't turn on a single light.

I wonder what it is about "scary films" that just don't do it for me - let alone scare me. They're just... I don't know... Trying too hard, maybe? They go out to make the films, and before you even see a trailer, it's the man with the deep-commercial-voice stating "The scariest film this year!" complete with news articles on how people had to leave the cinema because it was too much for them.

I'm sure someone out there is going to say "Oh but you need to watch such-and-such film!" to which I reply, really? Why bother? I have exactly zero interest in watching someone in Hollywood try to make me whimper by showing people getting chewed up by something nasty, people killed in increasingly unpleasant ways, and whatever boogie-man is deemed "scary" chasing people through the forest.

I'm sure Sinister is scary to some people - in fact I KNOW it's scary to some people. But why do people want to actually watch something that is going to give them nightmares and keep them awake?

I think Hollywood reached a dead-end with scary films several years ago, so now, instead of trying to figure out something new, they are just increasing the amount of jumpy-bits, scary monsters and blood.