Cloudy

I have no idea what is going on, or whether it's an after-affect of being so happy following the wedding, but things this last week have just seem... hard.

To start with the positive, the painkilling patches I have been on seem to be working quite well. They are called BuTrans, and the main ingredient is Buprenorphine. Reading the literature and information about them makes them seem a little... scary... BUT they are working. I'm no longer taking Co-Codamol which is something.

The side-effects are manageable, and nothing new to me really. Cotton-Mouth, stomach problems, hot-to-cold flushes, plus various other issues - not to mention my skin flaring up under the patch - which has to be worn for seven days. Because I'm a big fat fatty, and because I seem to be doing stuff all the time, I get hot and sweaty which makes the patches peel a little, so we've been experimenting with different kinds of tape to hold it in place. The best so far seems to be a tape called Transpore. Everything else peels off within a short space of time after re-fixing, but the transpore holds for a day and a half at least.

My pain levels are more manageable, back to being below my levels of Functioning/Non-Functioning.

Other than that, everything feels like it's on top of me at the moment. I can't put my finger on any one thing, but lots of things bother me, piss me off, upset me. My energy levels are still fluctuating, so some days I can't do anything where-as other days I can potter around and do whatever I can - till I crash and burn.

Different people have upset me or pissed me off, and part of me wants to rant and rave about it, but I won't. I've kept myself busy, or my brain as occupied as I can when I am feeling crappy, but even then it wanders off and I end up pissed off.

So, I've been doing my own thing, ignoring the people bitching at/about me, not reading through Facebook or Twitter, not posting anything on there, even neglecting my blog - which I am hoping to stop doing. You will even notice the webcam is back on, pointing out the window, watching the world go by...

All in all, I am doing my own thing, trying to keep up with the kids, trying to keep up with the house, trying to get my brain focused and off of things that bring me down. I've spent this morning re-installing Jaysens laptop, while watching Star Wars, while waiting for a delivery (new battery for my laptop! Woohoo!) and debating if I can be bothered to eat or not.

Yes, I am alive, I'm here, and pottering around as best I can.