gor-blimey guv'nor!

ok - so - things got a teeny bit out of hand for me... more's the point, they've been out of hand for a while. once again in the space of a year, i feel like i kinda sorta went off the rails. too much badness, not enough of anything else. so - to the point (and don't worry, there will be cheery things after this in another post - this is depressing enough to get it's on post on here!!) (and if you know me, then you've prolly already read the following - cut n paste is sooo lazy!)

Last year - for me - was awful. Absolute, unadulterated crap, with very few high points. I spent most of it either fed up, sick, upset or in pain. So, come Xmas Eve, I decided to make the most out of the closing days as I could, and we spent a lot of time visiting family, having friends over, and generally trying to "eat, drink and be merry". I've never been a Christmas sort of person, even from a young age, and it's not changed. It's even stranger when you have kids - they are full of excitement and happiness and can't wait to see who is at the door next (though I suspect that has more to do with parcels than people!).

Christmas week rolled on towards New Year (as it always does) and I was filled with an emptiness, that I wouldn't ever see my step-dad again. He'd never see us again, never see the kids grow, never see me and Jo get married. My "cheer up week" ended very flat. As it happened, we couldn't get a babysitter, and as I am not much of a party person, I stayed in news years eve in the nice peace and quiet playing Dark Age of Camelot. Sounds sad, but I had a really good night in with me, my computer, my friends in the game and beer!

So - New Year wasn't so awful. THEN the final real hurdle was Tuesday. Tuesday 6th would have been my step-dads birthday, and all day long, I didnt know what to do with myself (which I have been like for a while on and off), and nothing held my interest. Everytime I thought "get on with it Dan" I slipped into my mood again. I wanted to phone my mum, but I just didn't know WHAT to say to her. "Hi mum, how are you doing today" and such like just didn't sound right. I felt like crap, and he was my stepdad - could only imagine how she felt.

Wednesday & Thursday I worked on getting better, and today - well, today is a new day. Time to move on. I've not made any resolutions (though I REALLY laughed aloud at a geeks site "My new years resolution is 1024x768"), but I DO plan on trying to over come the shite that is me! I am even looking at starting Live Role Playing once again, which really is one of my true loves.

ANYWAYS: Everything else in the family... The little madam.

Made out like a bandit of Xmas - got spoiled rotten by everyone, and doesn't know what to do next! Germs have avoided her for the most part - snot here and there but little else (he says touching wood)... Hard to believe she will be THREE on Thursday! Despite all the crap we were told before she was born and how grim the outlook was.. As I type this, she is helping ("helping") Jo fold laundry - which involves pulling a pile of clothes down, screwing up an item and passing it to Jo (who then folds it properly!). Still waiting on an MRI date for her, but we've been told it SHOULD be this month, if not early next.

Jaysen - also made out like a little robber baron over xmas, and everytime someone turned up, he waiting very patiently for the gifts to be handed out. He is doing well in school still (and couldn't wait for the holidays to finish!) and is growing up too fast. He turned 5 last month, and one moment he's like a little man, the next he's a little sod! He tried to wash up for us and do a laundry load bless him! Then he sprinkled talc on the carpet and watered it in. Fun... No, really.... hehe

Jo is doing really well as well - New Years Eve is also her brothers birthday, so she toddled off over there for the evening, and had a great time. She's also counting the days till the next Live-Roleplay as we haven't been to one together for a very long time...

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