So. Wow. 30 today eh. Go me :)

Being a rather difficult child, it is something to see that I made it this far. I was not the most "stable" of children, and while I wasn't the most mentally stable of kids, I am talking physically. The ability to walk without falling, to climb without falling, to run without falling. OK, yes, granted - a lot of the time I would be running across the top of a wall, or walking over a stream on a log, or climbing up a stupidly high tree, but none the less, I had an aversion to gravity. And sharp pointy things.

It seemed to love me, where ever I went, pulling at me with more force than anyone else. I could be on the smoothest of playgrounds and go crashing to the ground. And I never just bumped to the ground. I'd *crash* down, either breaking something, slashing something open, or ending up with a concussion.

Bikes, Swings, Climbing Frames, Electricity, Physically-Non-Moving Objects, Wild Animals - you can bet I'd be there. And then there was the hazards - broken glass, brambles, nettles, trees, walls - I either went into them, over them, through them, or they ended up through me. I keep debating on getting my hospital file, just to see everything I went though, just to tally up the broken bones, the number of stitches, the cases of concussion, the hospital stays.

I look down at myself and see all the scars, or when I am feeling my head I can feel the scars and lumps, and the various breaks that have long-since healed. I can place almost all of them, from the sharpened butter knife, the cannon, the bike-with-no-brakes, the fence impalement, the milk bottle, the zip line, the scramble net, the brick wall, the rusty iron hook, the dirty pizza knife, the blow torch on epoxy resin...

Just for laughs.

And then there is the fun stuff. Downing a bottle of medicine, hanging on the window from a second story building, deciding to go "exploring" then spending six hours lost in a strange forest miles from home, and I'm not even going to mention the Loo-Bloo-Plus-Sister Incident. She still cringes when she sees the stuff.

And now today, I made it to 30. Older, yes. Wiser, probably. But then, I still have accidents. Granted, they are fewer and further between, but between electrocution, blades, solid objects and everything else, I'm not much different than I was as a kid. Except NOW I do something stupid and can look back and think "Yeah Dan, you're a dick." instead of the eight-year-old Dan "I didn't do anything" or "I don't know how it happened".

And then I look at the kids. Jaysen is a klutz of a similar kind, and while he's not been quite as fun as I was, he's had his fair share. That boy can trip over his shadow. Bethy was always in and out of hospitals, a stay here, a checkup there, so I know how mum felt on that level. And then there's Tam... Thankfully it's too soon to decide where her path lies - I think she's developed Gemmas moodiness.

People look back when something happens - an event, an anniversary, arriving at a new place - and using hindsight can tell what-caused-what to happen. Defining Moments, some people call them. My life was filled with them, from bullying to abuse, coming from a broken home to getting my first place, the joy of having a child to the pure pain of losing one. But what made me who I am today? I abhor bullying of any kind. I hate liars. I can sympathise with people in pain. I understand the concept of pure grief. I know what it is to love, to lose love, and to BE in love. And of course, I like to laugh. I LOVE to laugh. If you can't laugh eventually, then what's the point?

It's what you do, and who you know, that defines you.

So to the people that were around me as I was growing - mum, dad, step dad, step mum, sister, friends, relatives - thanks. I made it, you can have a gold star.

To my parents. You both made me who I am today. For one, you didn't strangle me. Two, you kept me alive, and Three, you taught me well. Don't ever regret not doing something, or doing something wrong. I love who I am.

To my sister, Gemma. I'm sorry. I never meant to be so mean, and I hope you don't hate me for the things I did to you. I'll always be your big brother, and you can ask for anything. You might not get it, but you can ask ;)

To my friends past and present - thanks for being there. If it was playing on your computer at a weekend, or hanging at your house while the kids are at school, or those of you that I've never physically met - thanks to you too. You've made me who I am today.

My kids - all three of you - you've made me proud. I love you like I've never loved anything, and you've made me who I am today. With one of you playing elsewhere, I know how big a part of my life you are and always will be. Play, laugh, smile and love who you are becoming. Carry on Shakin Your Ass where ever you are.

And to Jo. Thank you. With all my heart, I love you. Here's to the rest of our lifetime together.

Now then, where's the beer? And the gifts. Beer and Gifts. Gimmie. It might be 6am, but I like to celebrate in style.


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8 Responses to “HB2me”

Nancy Jensen said...

"I was not the most "stable" of children"

haha... big surprise there! ;-)

Happy Birthday OLD man! Congrats for making it this far. I think Jo should get a gold star for not strangling you by now too!

Sorry I can't hand you gifts and beer - first off, you know I don't drink - and secondly, you live accross the pond... a wee bit too far for me to be dropping off a gift.

But here's to another year of laughs, harrasing each other, teasing and hopefully not too many tears! (raising my diet coke mug - you can drink what you like) :D

Stuart Wilson said...

Happy birthday mate!

The big 3-0 eh? I've always thought of the 30's being the beginning of middle-age.

Oh well.... It will be my turn in 4 months time!

Anyway, have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday old man, hope you enjoy your birthday whilst I am stuck at work! Just think you can wind Stu, myself etc up about this very soon indeed. Oh how it seems like yesterday that we were at Nicholas!! Not quiet the 14 years or so that it has been!!

Alan said...

Happy B'day


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!
It's a great post. Again.

Have a great 4th decade,

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!! Hope you had/are having a good one :D

Mark said...

Happy birthday Dan the man, 30 well still a baby!! wait till you get to 37.

Daddy Cool said...

Happy Birthday!

Hopefully this post will come through I've had trouble commenting since you did your fancy schmancy upgrade.