Rant: Liars, Crazy People and Head Cases

Just a note, this could turn into a sweary rant. I haven't really decided yet. I'm angry, but not sure just HOW angry.

If you remember back in late-April, my mood took a turn for the worse. I had read something on a CHD List that hit me close to home and cut me through to the core. I was devastated, and had to deal with it as I didn't want to share with Jo as I knew how badly it would have effected her. I could only say so much on here just in case the author of the email arrived on here and thought I was bad mouthing her, her child, or her situation.

The simple version was this: Her child was in hospital having heart surgery, and as happens, things too a turn for the worse. Reading her mails was like reading my own updates - the problems, the hitches, everything that went wrong was like thinking about Bethany going through it all over again. And then it happened - something caused the childs brain to swell, and the doctors announced he was brain dead. Which is exactly what happened to Bethy.


She refused to accept this, and order more tests, second opinions, and, after a week or so, the child managed to pull through. That was the straw that broke my back - Bethany had the same diagnosis, but WE never ordered tests or second opinions, and it stopped there. But the seed of doubt was well and truly planted in my head. The "What If's" started, the doubt took over, and I shut myself away from everyone and everything without explanation.

A couple of weeks later, the child was taken ill suddenly, and rushed back into hospital, and, sadly, he died.

So now we fast-forward back to now, and the last couple of days, people have been trying to get ahold of me. I noticed on Emma and Other Emmas blog, a post about trolls, but didn't think much of it. The Emma last night tells me something that caught me off guard. The woman made up the entire story. I don't know if the child exists or existed or whatever, but everything she said was a lie.

Today, I am dozing off on the sofa and my mobile rings, and it's Other Emma - she and the head honcho at Heartline have been trying to get a hold of me, and she explained to me all the lies that this person got caught up in, how she contradicted herself, how she changed details, altered major details and generally got trapped in her own lies.

To put it another way - she made up everything, and I had my heart torn out and stamped on because of a LIE.

Who the fuck does she think she is? What sort of person takes something like that and makes up a disaster around it? Seriously, how the hell can someone be so thoughtless. This stupid bitch posted on the UK list and one of the American lists I am on, and I know of at least two other parents that have had to deal with the same thing we did with Bethany. Did they see this persons story? Were they as cut up as I was, believing that this story was true and that there was the smallest inkling of possibility that they had made a mistake?

When I first read her story, I was heartbroken, I felt sick and angry at myself for not pushing for more tests. When I found out that this story was pure fucking fabrication, I was angry. I don't get angry very often, but I am sure if I knew where this person lived, then I would be having some very strong words with her. Assuming it is even a her.

Then there is the Compassionate side of me. Maybe she has a mental condition and needs help? Maybe she DID lose her child that way, and is reliving it all somehow. But Compassionate Dan is currently being beaten with a stick by Hacked Off Dan with a pair of dirty socks forced down his throat.

Part of me is in a mind to email her, to let her know exactly how fucked off I am, how upset I was, how upset I am now. There are some crazy fucks in this world, and it seems that my Crazy Fucker magnet is running at full strength.

Needless to say, I banned AND removed her from my UK List, plus let the owner and moderator of another list know - helpful being chums with people and letting them know they have fuck-heads on their lists!

Who knows, I might find it in myself to forgive this psycho, but I am not sure I can. She basically forced me to relive the last two weeks of Bethys life, but with added angle of making wrong decisions and questioning everything I'd done, said and decided.

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8 Responses to “Rant: Liars, Crazy People and Head Cases”

Emma said...

See, now I'm wondering whether I should even have told you about the evil little bitch or just left it. Took me ages to decide...

Anonymous said...

My God Dan, what a horrible, traumatic thing for you to go through. How sick does a person have to be... I don't understand. I may never understand.
So sorry to hear about this x *hug*

DriedPapercutsAndChickens said...

when I first started reading, I thought I knew who this was but, now I am not so sure....


debbie said...

Hi Dan, I can't believe it either Dan, but it was only a recent thing that brought doubt into play.. I am pleased the it was Emma who told you Dan, when reading the posts at the time like you I was sucked in and though oh no how can he recover well obvioulsy was fabricated after attention, I do happen to have a forum addy for her. I joined to see what she was up to but not a lot, I can only Imagine the tourment that you have been through,, but you as a family made the right descision (sp) and nothing Changes Dan,, just there are some real sick people out there..
I hate the fact that you have been made to feel like this because of a crazy attention seeking person..

Emma you did the right thing by Dan darling he is a mate of yours and He loves you even more for it.. dont be cross with yourself..so what if Dan comes down on her like a tonne of bricks someone has too..

Sending you all hugs Debbie

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Oh. My. Gawd.


You poor thing. I simply couldn't imaine.

What is wrong with people?
I don't get it.

I was going to post something on the lines as China Blue..

I hope you feel a bit better now that you vented.
I think... I would send this person an email... but that's me.

Laney said...

Sorry you had to relive all the pain Dan, I'm angry for you so can only imagine how you must feel. I personally would send an email, even if it just makes you feel better.

Breathing said...

Munschousin's Syndrome is when you make yourself sick for attention. It is a viable mental illness.

Munschousin's By Proxy is when you make your lover of child sick for attention. It is also a viable mental illness.

This is neither. This is a pathetic woman who just wants to feel important.

That said. I understand how this woman's story must have made you feel, and I'm certain that the fears and doubts you have been feeling as a result were all there before her, this was just a trigger.

It was a horrible thing you've had to go through, Dan, the loss of your daughter. Something that no one can put in a positive light for you. Something that only you can decide when it is time to heal from. This pain is yours.

Keep in mind, please that this was not a personal attack on you or any decisions that were made on your daughter's behalf.

Even if her story had been true, it does not mean you were wrong. Bethy was not a boy half a world away. She was your daughter. The decisions that were made were about her and your family. No one else.

Do not give this depraved individual any more power. She stirred up some things in you, made you think, helped you get a little more pain in your day. But you decide what you let it do to you.

((Thank you for letting me in.))


g-man said...

I believe you have every right to be pissed, and sad and whatever other emotions well up. I'm truly sorry that you had to go through all that self doubt and pain. I suppose that knowing it was a lie will stop those feelings with regard to Bethany.

I can't suppose to know what your loss means to you, and I wish I had more words of enlightened encouragement, all I got is stupid bitch.