You will have to bear with me on this, because it is likely to be a rambling post. I went to bed with Jaysen last night around 8pm. I was so tired, and ready to drop. I sat up just relaxing as best I could after a long stressful day, when the phone ran - it was Jo. No, don't think what you're thinking.

We had a long conversation about, well, everything that needs to be sorted out. It has been filling my head and I could tell it was filling hers, but she managed to do what I hoped she would be able to do. As far as she is concerned, she left me, not through any of my own wrong-doing, not through any fault of mine. Personally, I think it takes two to tango, and I can't let her take any of the blame, but still.

As she left, she has decided that I will have custody of the kids, and I will have them here, at the house. Our house is now my home.

I know - I know - it must have been so hard for her, but we are still friends. It's hard for us both at the moment, but no one knows me like she does. One know every facet of one anothers lives, and will always have to be friends.

So, the kids will be here for the weekdays - Sunday evening till Friday evening or Saturday morning, when they will stay with Jo, where ever she is. Obviously, and we discussed it completely - she can come over when she wants because they are as much hers as mine, and we spoke about Tam because she is the younger of the two. She needs her mum and Jo needs her - she is her little girl, after all. She more than likely Tam will be alternating between the pair of us more regularly than Five Days with me/Two Days with Jo.

We spoke about the legal aspect, and both agree that we will share the legal rights (Parental Rights) of the children. We can take them abroad, make medical decisions and such like - like I said, she is still their mummy, and I am their daddy.

Things like School Holidays, Birthday, Xmas I assume we will play by ear. If Jo wants to go away for a weekend, then I am here, and if I want to go stay with people for a break, the same applies from Jo's point of view. With us still being friends and getting on - and I don't mean in that strained way you often see - I suspect Birthdays and Xmas will be something we share somehow. The logistics of it at 4am at a little out of my comprehension at the moment.

Anyway, for the time being, Jo is with her parents, Jaysen is here with me, Tam is with Jo, and she is over Saturday to sort out paperwork and whatnot. I'm still going to help her get a place, saving up a little money here and there, maybe see if I can get a loan of somekind to help out.

Anyway, I've slept, not for a huge length of time, but I HAVE slept, but bolted awake at half three for no reason and my mind was running in circles since. I'm hoping that a bit of blogging clears it and lets me sleep - but considering I am up in just over two hours, I doubt it.

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3 Responses to “Home”

Krista Long said...

My ex and I have a similar arrangement. He has a key to the house and is always welcome. He was the one who watched the boys while I roadtripped to California to get engaged (which he knew about and supports).

We are friends and support each other. I am glad things are slowly starting to work out. I hope they get easier as time proceeds.

Em's way said...

All respect to you and Jo, I am in awe of you both. Doing whats best for the kids, and not using them as weapons is the hardest part of a split.

The kids will always know that without doubt their mum and dad love them above all else. Good on you guys xxxx

Laney said...

That's great Dan. I must admit, I had a feeling they'd stay with you, but I didn't want to say anything and be presumptuous. What a great idea. It isn't as hard to stay friends as some people think. I'm firm friends with Taylor's Dad, even if he is a bit of a flake when it comes to seeing him, we've never fallen out over anything.

Good luck!