Plenty More Fish

I'm not completely sure where peoples minds are at sometimes... Over the course of today, I had no less than three people make comments like "get back on the horse and get out there!" or "plenty more fish in the sea!" and similar comments.

I didn't know quite what to say. I think I just looked at them through my puffy, tear stained eyes. Now, had me and Jo been dating for a few months or even a year, and split up, then fair enough, but people don't seem to realise our lives were completely invested in one another.

I lived with my mum and met Jo. Jo lived with her mum and met me. Sure we'd had a couple young relationships before then, but we literally fell into one another feet-first and have been there since. Our entire adult lives have been spent together. Twelve and a half years.

And people are telling me to get back out and get a date?!

Please, to anyone that thinks this is the best idea ever, go away. I don't need or want that kind of thinking. I am not looking for a new partner. I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'm not looking for "some fun guv'nor *nudge nudge wink wink*"

I need friends. I need to get my life readjusted, sorted, and ultimately, back on track. The very last thing on my mind at this moment is finding someone new. I don't want someone new. I don't want anyone after Jo.

So if you are going to offer me helpful advice, please don't let it be "go on a date".

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4 Responses to “Plenty More Fish”

Krista said...

Hell, no! Dan, it took me 18 months post divorce for my first date. It took me 5 years to introduce a boyfriend to my kids, and he is the one who my kids asked to be a stepdad long before I actually asked him anything. :) You will put your life back together, but right now you have had a tremendous loss. It is OK and healthy to grieve. People just don't know what to do with grief and pain. They want it to go away. They are the same cads who probably said things like "well, at least you have 2 other kids" about Bethany. Which means you have every right to kick them in the ass.

It will get better. You will date again, but now is not the time.

Nancy said...

Oh geez... how on earth could you possibly get over someone that fast? ... someone that you have loved and lived with for that many years?! I would still be in tears months from now. When I love someone, I put my whole heart and soul into it - and I believe you are the same way. To expect someone to move on this quickly is absurd.

Hang in there, hon.

Em's way said...

What can I say but DONK!!!

Dan mate, when I split with my ex, father of my eldest two boys, it took me 10 years to get to a point where I wanted anyone else in our lives. I did not want to 'replace' him with another man, another 'father' to my kids.

Just be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself and rebuild your life.

Posh Totty said...

You know my views on this already as I have spoken to you about it, but just wanted to add there is no rush, dont be presured into anything, do things in your own way and in your own time. Stuff what anyone else is telling you what to do.

Thinking of you, always Xxx