Today has been a long day. Despite thinking my head was screwed on straight, having no sleep made me a mess, and once again, I sent Jo texts, called her and cried on the phone to her. I don't know why. I guess it's because I still love her, but the feelings aren't reciprocated.

I have to live with that.

The hardest part of the moment is the house. So much for our happy little plans yesterday. Jo went to the council today, told them what was happening, and that she needed a home. They said something along the lines of "never mind, you walked, good luck!" Now, this house is rented, and both our names are on the tenancy. If one leaves, that's voluntary homelessness, and we don't qualify for any help.

The only option on that aspect is get legal aid, have a court declare which of us is rightfully owed the house, and then have the other legally "removed" which isn't as scary as it sounds. This other person is then officially homeless and can qualify for help - which means, well, anything. One of us could end up with a bedsit, a one - or if we're really lucky - a two bedroom house or flat.

The only other option is for one of us to get enough money in order to rent a place from a private landlord. As we'd both be on benefits - Jo as a single mum, me on my incapacity - then the council will pay the rent at both places. Assuming we can find a private landlord that accepts rent benefits from the council.

While this is the easier step, it comes with a price - namely, the deposit on the place. While the rent will be paid, the landlord will still likely demand first month rent and a security deposit. Which requires money. I need to call around the family this evening, see if they can help - we're still not sure who will get another place, Jo or myself, but this is home, and the other place will be the kids second home.

We're still agreed on joint custody and Jo has said she'd never take the kids from me. I know without a doubt that we are over, so the kids and myself are now priority. We've been talking about how we're going to work the kids, and I don't want to just be a weekend father. We might do four days/three days one week, then swap. We could do alternate days - whatever.

Quite how we're going to come up with money for deposit on a place I don't know. I know my mum is in no position to help, I'm going to try my dad and maybe even my sister. I just don't know what else to do. The legal route will take a long time, and the private route will take money. We're calling people and seeing what we can do.

At the moment, I have Jaysen. I got him from school today, and am having him till Saturday. Jo is coming over then to sit and discuss some stuff - bills, paper work and what not.

I'm at a loss really. Jo is gone. While sharing custody, the kids are going to be "hers", I'm probably going to lose the house... If anyone has a magic wand or something, now is the time to wave it.

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3 Responses to “House”

A New Me said...

Oh Dan, Waving my magic wand like crazy, as well as saying Izzy Wizzy Lets get Busy, its not working, If i had the money I would lend you it too, but I dont work either.. I do hope that someone comes to help, as for the children you will work things out its so early days yet honey.. at the end of the day you both will do whats best for you all..thinking of you both at such a hard time..

Nancy Jensen said...

Trust me, if I had a magic wand I would be waving it like crazy. If I had money, it would be yours. All I have is love and a dry shoulder, which of course are yours too.

Stuart Wilson said...

Hey mate - you were there for me when I was going through a rough time those years ago, I just wish there was something that me and Michelle could do to help.

If there is anything we can do, just give me a ring.

Take care Dan